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#1 Edited by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@superstay said:

Once, back when I was 16, I used to hang out on the PSN alot. I met this lady(No names (Mostly because I can't remember)) one day in a lounge room, she told me beforehand "I don't have time for kids if your under 18 keep walking". Now, I just wanted to talk to someone... so I lied and said "Yeah I'm 18" and we talked for a good five hours. So around 3 in the morning I was tired, and was about to call it a night, when all of a sudden she sent me her number and told me to call her. I thought about it for some time and called her thinking the call wouldn't go through because she lived out of state( I spent most of my life in my room). *Ring....Ring...Hello..Click* I hung up. Nervous, I lied again and told her I didn't call her when she asked - not knowing she had *69 ( Last-Call Return )When she called back, I nervously hid in the dark living room(I don't know why) with my sister thinking she would stop. She didn't, and woke up my mother. I lost my PS3, Computer, TV and got yelled at everyday for the next three months. d-_-b

@Jezer said:

That was a great story OP, this is my favorite thread of today.

There should be a Post Your Embarassing Moments thread(there probably already is)

Actually, there should be a Post Your Embarassing Moments/Failures with the Opposite Sex thread...

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/off-topic/5/what-do-you-think/685929/?

Basically, post embarrassing or awkward moments concerning the opposite sex. After all, this is the internet! I personally don't give much of a fuck what the internet thinks of me, you shouldn't either. You know, anonymity and such.

So post your embarrassing, awkward, or fail moments talking to, attempting to flirt with, asking out, ect. a girl or boy! And hey, if you're gay, post your moments with the same gender!

Now, I know what most of you perusing this thread are thinking "I'll just read other peoples and not share any of my own, damn I'm clever. Or lazy. Not sure which one." But I mean, where's the fun in that? The more people post, the more open other people are to doing the same.

So post any embarrassing, awkward moments that you're willing to share concerning a girl or boy. Sexual faux pases. That time when you were ten and told a ten year old girl you loved her, and her mother called your parents who proceeded to spank the "love" out of you. Ect. This is not the thread for bragging or victories! lol This is the thread that humbles you.

Also, try to flesh out the story so as to give us a mental image and make it interesting. Plz.

As a leap of faith, I'll start: (I've never told anyone, any of my irl or internet friends, this)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember a year or so ago, I was at this college festival for something. A club at my college was volunteering for it. Setting up. Handing out food. Ect. Anyways, there was this chinese girl I'd just met at a club meeting that day. She was pretty nice, had a sweet-soothing voice, and was laughing at my remarks/jokes lavishly. Excessively. Regardless of how funny they were.

I think I guessed that she liked me. Which, instantly makes a girl slightly more attractive. Regardless, she had a pretty face. A gorgeous smile. But, she was kinda skinny. Not particularly curvy. So, her body wasn't really the type that I would look at and go "Woah". Remember this for later.

At one point during the evening, we were in a super long food line, waiting to eat. I was talking/listening to some other people behind me. And then, at some point, I turned forward and said something to her. To initiate conversation. There was decently long block of space between us, so people could slip past...

For some reason, she said "Wait" and stepped in really close to me. Responded to what I said. And gave me that gorgeous smile.

.....I was thrown off, because she just so suddenly invaded my personal space/comfort zone.

Either way, she smiled at me beautifully, in my personal space, said something with her goddess-like voice, and stared deeply in my eyes.

....It was like a cocktail of factors that suddenly skyrocketed my sexual attraction to her...I was unprepared.

I think I stared into her eyes, then my eyes flipped briefly down to her lips, and then back....And then.....And then...

............................And then, I noticed some stirring in my loins--I had suddenly sprouted a woody. Soldier saluting. You guys know how it is. Lol.

Because she was in such close proximity, I was like oh shi-oops - And broke eye contact/ended the conversation to orient my body away...toward...I don't know. Something of interest behind me to the side. Lol. So that she wouldn't notice. Haha. She just turned back around. And, kept waiting in line. However, we talked a little at some points later that night....And the conversation was pretty normal.

That was a notable day in history: The first/only time I ever got a boner from simply talking to a girl about something innocent, who had no big chest or anything, but only a pretty face. I still don't know if she noticed, but it's not like she's short or at crotch level. She's roughly my height or a little shorter- I guess it will forever be a mystery. Also, a wasted kiss moment, I guess. But, she still doesn't seem like the type of girl that would randomly kiss a guy she just met. *shrug*

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The balls in your court now reader.

#2 Posted by JediXMan (29514 posts) - - Show Bio

Any multitude of rather humorous (depending on your perspective) trip-ups and bad choices of words.

#3 Edited by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

Once I threw a condom while my girlfriend was walking away and it landed in her hair.

Dripping and everything.............There.............I said It................

#4 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@JediXMan said:

Any multitude of rather humorous (depending on your perspective) trip-ups and bad choices of words.

Such as?

Can you flesh out a story about a particular instance?

#5 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@utotheg38 said:

Once I threw a condom while my girlfriend was walking away and it landed in her hair.

Dripping and everything.............There.............I said It................

If this is a serious story, the most interesting part would be the part you neglected to mention. Her reaction.

I don't mean to criticize and all... but, can you put some effort into explaining-detailing your stories(@everyone). Remember, we weren't there =x

#6 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer said:

@utotheg38 said:

Once I threw a condom while my girlfriend was walking away and it landed in her hair.

Dripping and everything.............There.............I said It................

If this is a serious story, the most interesting part would be the part you neglected to mention. Her reaction.

I don't mean to criticize and all... but, can you put some effort into explaining-detailing your stories(@everyone). Remember, we weren't there =x

she actually laughed, I forgot to mention It would be awkward to others but not us.

:D

#7 Posted by JediXMan (29514 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer said:

@JediXMan said:

Any multitude of rather humorous (depending on your perspective) trip-ups and bad choices of words.

Such as?

Can you flesh out a story about a particular instance?

Perfectly honest, nothing specific crops up right now.

#8 Posted by joshmightbe (24598 posts) - - Show Bio

Any story from high school beginning with the words I was drunk and...are invariably awkward stories that remind me that the smartest thing I ever did was quit drinking

#9 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19908 posts) - - Show Bio

@utotheg38 said:

Once I threw a condom while my girlfriend was walking away and it landed in her hair.

Dripping and everything.............There.............I said It................

Was this you when she turned around?

#10 Edited by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio

My story is short and sweet and I posted this before in the Awkward Moment thread, but when my ex and I were eating ice cream she finished before me. I was completely tactless and oblivious to her weight problem. I said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Miss Piggy" and she started crying telling me I eat more than her. As she kept crying I said, "why you gotta be a b****." 
No boom boom for a week.

#11 Posted by Aiden Cross (15562 posts) - - Show Bio

When i was 15 i had a blind date, and she askedif it was alright if she brought her sister along. I said sure. She told me she had an operation and had a cast around her leg so it would be easy to spot her. What she didnt mention was that it was an identical twin sister who had the same freaking operation so i didnt know who was who. And i was too insecure and shy to ask. So the rest of the night was awkward since i didnt know who i was speaking to and the twins gravitated more towards each other.... So yeah, awkward. Dating twins isnt all its cracked up to be....

#12 Posted by _Zombie_ (10312 posts) - - Show Bio

My interaction with the opposite sex has been.. limited, to say the least.

#13 Posted by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@Aiden Cross said:
When i was 15 i had a blind date, and she askedif it was alright if she brought her sister along. I said sure. She told me she had an operation and had a cast around her leg so it would be easy to spot her. What she didnt mention was that it was an identical twin sister who had the same freaking operation so i didnt know who was who. And i was too insecure and shy to ask. So the rest of the night was awkward since i didnt know who i was speaking to and the twins gravitated more towards each other.... So yeah, awkward. Dating twins isnt all its cracked up to be....
Haha, that is funny.
#14 Posted by Aiden Cross (15562 posts) - - Show Bio

@sesquipedalophobe: in hindsight, yes ;p

#15 Posted by TheAcidSkull (17244 posts) - - Show Bio

i'd love to share such stories but i don't have one......YET, but any conversation of mine with hot/pretty girl can be considered awkward since i act like an idiot, but hey... have my full life ahead of me to make stupid mistakes :D

#16 Edited by buttersdaman000 (9427 posts) - - Show Bio

Just last night I was at the club with my friend. Hours beforehand a friend of ours had told us that going to gay clubs was actually a great way to meet girls. See, apparently, females don't only go to those clubs to gawk at the gay male strippers, they want to take a straight guy home too. So, my friend and I decided to go. We get there and pay a 20 dollar entrance fee. That's a big investment. As soon as we get in, I see why it's a gay club.....because of all the surly gay men in speedos and sunglasses. But anyways, much to our relief, there are tons of girls there. Yes! We start to mingle and talk to the girls, dance with them, and so on. My friend meets a hot female stripper, makes out with her, I inform him he needs to check for herpes. I dance with hundreds of girls upstairs, not really, but still, it was a lot. On my way to the bathroom I was ambushed by two gay men. One grabbed my a$$ while the other whispered in my ear "Hey handsome, you all alone tonight?" Everything froze, moment of truth, but I wasn't worried, I was prepared for this. This was bound to happen anyways. I turn to the man and say "Not gay". He understands. We do a dance circle 5 minutes later. He' actually a pretty cool dude, and great dancer. But anyways, as we're all dancing, the HOTTEST girl I have ever seen in my life walks into the room. She scans the area and looks right at me. I sized her up and gave her that look. She walked right over to me, turned around, and dropped that thang. We danced for what seemed like forever. It was bliss. When we were both sweating from exertion, she turned to me and said "Im f#cking you cross eyed tonight, baby." I paused, shell shocked, not sure of what to say. She grabbed my junk, looked me in the eye, saying "If you had one shot, one opprotunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, for one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?" My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, theres vomit on my sweater already, moms spaghetti  
I choke. 

#17 Posted by VercingetorixTheGreat (2823 posts) - - Show Bio

This one is the most embarassing.

I had gotten back from a dance and was with my girlfriend in her basement. Her parents were supposed to be out but not all of her parents.... Her grandmother walked in on us when she had her hand down my pants.

Yea

#18 Posted by cameron83 (6622 posts) - - Show Bio

@buttersdaman000: lol,i thought you were gonna get raped by gay guys XD

#19 Posted by cameron83 (6622 posts) - - Show Bio

i don't really have one,but 1 time when i was walking home (i believe i was in the 7th grade),a girl was in front of me,and usually when i walked home i looked down often,to avoid contact with anybody (if you even glance at them they think you wanna fight) and this girl (she was playing,and i think flirting/playing) said something like "boy i see you starin'" or something like that a couple times,and me being a geek,choked up,and stuttered babble,something along the lines of "i'm (stutter),not (stutter,while laughing along thw whole time),although a little afterwards she stopped,maybe she thought i wanted to be left alone or something,which i didn't mind,but i had nothing to say/

#20 Posted by Enemybird (3138 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer: Did you really need to use curse words in the OP?

#21 Posted by ChaosBlazer (3930 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, I don't have one but my friend once asked a married woman for her phone number....

#22 Posted by blackadamFTW (7867 posts) - - Show Bio

Nothing for me that would make a great story.

#23 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@buttersdaman000 said:

Just last night I was at the club with my friend. Hours beforehand a friend of ours had told us that going to gay clubs was actually a great way to meet girls. See, apparently, females don't only go to those clubs to gawk at the gay male strippers, they want to take a straight guy home too. So, my friend and I decided to go. We get there and pay a 20 dollar entrance fee. That's a big investment. As soon as we get in, I see why it's a gay club.....because of all the surly gay men in speedos and sunglasses. But anyways, much to our relief, there are tons of girls there. Yes! We start to mingle and talk to the girls, dance with them, and so on. My friend meets a hot female stripper, makes out with her, I inform him he needs to check for herpes. I dance with hundreds of girls upstairs, not really, but still, it was a lot. On my way to the bathroom I was ambushed by two gay men. One grabbed my a$$ while the other whispered in my ear "Hey handsome, you all alone tonight?" Everything froze, moment of truth, but I wasn't worried, I was prepared for this. This was bound to happen anyways. I turn to the man and say "Not gay". He understands. We do a dance circle 5 minutes later. He' actually a pretty cool dude, and great dancer. But anyways, as we're all dancing, the HOTTEST girl I have ever seen in my life walks into the room. She scans the area and looks right at me. I sized her up and gave her that look. She walked right over to me, turned around, and dropped that thang. We danced for what seemed like forever. It was bliss. When we were both sweating from exertion, she turned to me and said "Im f#cking you cross eyed tonight, baby." I paused, shell shocked, not sure of what to say. She grabbed my junk, looked me in the eye, saying "If you had one shot, one opprotunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, for one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?" My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, theres vomit on my sweater already, moms spaghetti I choke.

Lmao this is the type of story I'm talking about! Entertaining. Twist at the end. Lose Yourself allusion. *claps*

Btw- I was also tempted to go to a gay club with my roomate(gay), because I thought it'd be a unique experience. Buttt, then I heard about/realized how forward gay guys are. How they'd straight grab your peen and butt. You are a brave man.

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer: Did you really need to use curse words in the OP?

Do you think I shouldn't have used those two curse words?

#24 Posted by ARMIV2 (8279 posts) - - Show Bio

My entire love life...

#25 Posted by Enemybird (3138 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer said:

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer: Did you really need to use curse words in the OP?

Do you think I shouldn't have used those two curse words?

Why do you need to ask? Of course I think you shouldn't have...

#26 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer said:

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer: Did you really need to use curse words in the OP?

Do you think I shouldn't have used those two curse words?

Why do you need to ask? Of course I think you shouldn't have...

Oh okay, just making sure.

I refer you to my OP(the part you're also referring to)

@Jezer said:

I personally don't give much of a fuck what the internet thinks

#27 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84508 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer: Yeah just try and watch the swearing. Kinda against the rules here but with over 2thousand posts I think you may already know that ;)

On a site that shall remain nameless, a friend (on said site) and I were writing for an rpg. Couple other users joined in and one was a female. Ohhh sh!t just got real as everyone was trying to play Billybadass. It soon became apparent that this chick was digging my friend and I. Yeah I gotta like that on the internet son :P so we're charming and having a blast when I get a message from this girl, VICTORY! Right? Charlie Murphy voice: wrong, Wroooong. She tells me she's into my friend and if I can help her out. Son of a.....yeah sure sure. I got you. I tip my hat to my friend, let him know, and I step back. But she's still sending messages asking me questions about my boy. Then she drops the BOMB. "I'm a dude" she says -__- "do you think he'll be mad if I tell him?" Now anyone who's known me for a prolonged period on this site knows I'm an authenticated @$$hole. So I tell her/him/it, "Yeah you should just keep that unwraps for awhile" ;) For the next couple days I'm entertained as he tells me all about this awesome chick and how I shouldn't feel bad that she chose the better man. Yeah thanks for the uplifting speech homes, appreciate the pep talk. I'm laughing so hard on the other side of the screen I can hardly contain it. Finally she/he/it, tells him and disappears never to be heard of again. "So ah, what happened with you and homegirl?" I ask. "Oh that? It didnt work out."

Yeah, no sh!t lol.

Moderator
#28 Posted by Enemybird (3138 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer said:

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer said:

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer: Did you really need to use curse words in the OP?

Do you think I shouldn't have used those two curse words?

Why do you need to ask? Of course I think you shouldn't have...

Oh okay, just making sure.

I refer you to my OP(the part you're also referring to)

@Jezer said:

I personally don't give much of a fuck what the internet thinks

How about you leave the four letter words for when you're talking to your own friends & family. This isn't the place...

#29 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Gambler said:

@Jezer: Yeah just try and watch the swearing. Kinda against the rules here but with over 2thousand posts I think you may already know that ;)

I know this is a pretty mild warning and you're just doing your job enforcing the rules and whatnot... but do I really need to be warned because one person decided to ignore the 900 and something other words of my post, and just the whole point of my post in general, in order to focus on the two, minute-insignificant-modest amount of curse words I used in my post?

Seriously?

After this guy points it out...after having used curse words in some of his own posts?

@Enemybird said:

@Enemybird said:

This is like saying... "Your weren't on the hijacked plane on 9/11... what are your bitching about?" Obviously you don't have to physically be in the moment to feel its emotional effects. Its called empathy! I would't hold it against anyone who's ancestors were slaves for about 400 years and only about 60 or 70 years ago fought for & gained civil rights. How would you expect a race of people to just get over that in a generation of two? How ignorant wold you have to be to think that the majority of those people weren't directly effected by hundreds of yeas of inhumane injustice!?!

@Enemybird said:

@Death Certificate said:

@Enemybird: The only bad thing is that I don't know her name

God damn it lol

@Enemybird said:

@superstay: F*ckin Score

.......surely you jest? Surely the pot has met the kettle?

#30 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Enemybird said:

How about you leave the four letter words for when you're talking to your own friends & family. This isn't the place...

Why don't you, ummm, post a story about an awkward encounter with someone of the gender you're attracted to? You're kinda off-topic....

('-' )

#31 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (2898 posts) - - Show Bio

Why opposite gender? I have more awkward stories dealing with dudes than chickas.

#32 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

Why opposite gender? I have more awkward stories dealing with dudes than chickas.

I mean, this is more about awkward moments with someone you were attracted to. Not just general awkward moments.

Give me an example of the type of story you mean, go ahead and post one.

#33 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84508 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer: His bitching had nothing to do with it to be honest. I read your op and saw the swearing first hand and wasnt going to mention it, but then you seemed content with keeping it going by re-quoting how "you dont give a F@ck about the internet." Personally I think the entire rule is ridiculous but its a rule none the less. "Damn, bitching, and most of the time (depending on the mod) sh!t" aren't really policed. In fact bitching and damn never are. If you really wanna swear all you have to do is censor it like you see others doing, myself included.

@Enemybird: Appreciate you trying to help but its over. We can all get back on topic.

Moderator
#34 Edited by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Gambler said:

@Jezer: His bitching had nothing to do with it to be honest. I read your op and saw the swearing first hand and wasnt going to mention it, but then you seemed content with keeping it going by re-quoting how "you dont give a F@ck about the internet." Personally I think the entire rule is ridiculous but its a rule none the less. "Damn, bitching, and most of the time (depending on the mod) sh!t" aren't really policed. In fact bitching and damn never are. If you really wanna swear all you have to do is censor it like you see others doing, myself included.

@Enemybird: Appreciate you trying to help but its over. We can all get back on topic.

So cursing is allowed as long as one of the letters is not-so-cleverly replaced with another that does nothing to hide what word was said? Alright then.

Yeah, I re-quoted it after someone brought unnecessary attention to it. Otherwise, the rest of my posts in this thread didn't have any curse words in them, but the fault is my own instead of the person making a big deal out of it bringing it to the forefront conversational topic of this thread - who hilariously also uses curse words in his own posts?

Um, seriously Comicvine? You never fail to make me roll my eyes. I'll make sure to hide my curses with clever letters that allow it to still be recognized and mean the exact same d@mn thing.

...Moving On.

#35 Edited by Enemybird (3138 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer: I can honestly say I saw this coming. But here is the difference I censored my words and took quotes from others. You'll have a harder time finding me curse in exactly the same manner you did. " Uncensored" which, by the way is in the manner that is against the rules. If I post a music video when someone curses am I wrong? So why is quoting a GIF any different? Quoting a gif from a movie whose words are not my own no less. You also took a few things out of context..namely the quote about 9/11. But whatever... if you cant seem to realize that "censoring" curse words is more than an aesthetic change than that's on you.

EDIT: You know what I don't really care. Curse all you want... this thread sucks anyways.

#36 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84508 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jezer: You could always take your complaint(s) to the Staff. Honestly it wasnt a big deal, you could have just said, "my bad" and kept it moving. Not sure why you wanna keep it going but you could always just pm me and save your thread from further derailment.

@Enemybird: You need to stop. I cant very well call him out while you continue to instigate.

Moderator
#37 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Enemybird said:

@Jezer: I can honestly say I saw this coming. But here is the difference I censored my words and took quotes from others. You'll have a harder time finding me curse in exactly the same manner you did. " Uncensored" which, by the way is in the manner that is against the rules. If I post a music video when someone curses am I wrong? So why is quoting a GIF any different? Quoting a gif from a movie whose words are not my own no less. You also took a few things out of context..namely the quote about 9/11. But whatever... if you cant seem to realize that "censoring" curse words is more than an aesthetic change than that's on you.

Cool. I'll address this mental feces in a private message.

In the mean time, get out of my thread or post a story. I'm moderately sure there is a rule about being on topic. ('-' )

And before you go "hey dur, yu r not on topic with that post, ederrr!" that's because you were originally the one offtopic, who derailed me offtopic, and I'm telling you to get on topic. To reiterate: Answer the thread or don't post.

#38 Posted by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio

Just today when I bought a carton of cigarettes, they were all out of my specific brand. The girl suggested Mavericks and it made me think of Top Gun. So she said something flirty to me as I was still thinking about Top Gun. Iceman's hostility, Goose dying, and Take My Breath Away. Like an idiot I asked her, "So you think you're hot, huh?" I expected her to say, "Oh, I know I'm hot." She didn't see the movie so she took it as an insult, like I called her ugly. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing sunglasses or chewing gum. But I saved five dollars on a carton.

#39 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84508 posts) - - Show Bio

@sesquipedalophobe said:

Just today when I bought a carton of cigarettes, they were all out of my specific brand. The girl suggested Mavericks and it made me think of Top Gun. So she said something flirty to me as I was still thinking about Top Gun. Iceman's hostility, Goose dying, and Take My Breath Away. Like an idiot I asked her, "So you think you're hot, huh?" I expected her to say, "Oh, I know I'm hot." She didn't see the movie so she took it as an insult, like I called her ugly. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing sunglasses or chewing gum. But I saved five dollars on a carton.

Yeah you need the shades and gum to pull that move off ;P

Moderator
#40 Edited by buttersdaman000 (9427 posts) - - Show Bio
@Jezer:  
Lol thanks. I have a lot of spaghetti stories.   
And gay guys are pretty forward, at least when they have the home field advantage haha. But that forwardness only extends towards making moves. If you're not down with the wiener wars, they'll back off and just be cool.  
 
BUT!.........A male stripper did dance his piece in my face......so there's that...
#41 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@Gambler said:

Can you do me a favor and delete Enemybird's recent/latest post from my thread? Whatever language in it is completely offtopic. I am now formally requesting people speak English in my thread...

@sesquipedalophobe said:

Just today when I bought a carton of cigarettes, they were all out of my specific brand. The girl suggested Mavericks and it made me think of Top Gun. So she said something flirty to me as I was still thinking about Top Gun. Iceman's hostility, Goose dying, and Take My Breath Away. Like an idiot I asked her, "So you think you're hot, huh?" I expected her to say, "Oh, I know I'm hot." She didn't see the movie so she took it as an insult, like I called her ugly. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing sunglasses or chewing gum. But I saved five dollars on a carton.

Haha this is kind of funny. This is what I'm talking about!

I half feel like these are made up, because I can't actually imagine someone having the audacity to say these things to a girl Lol

#42 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@buttersdaman000 said:

@Jezer: Lol thanks. I have a lot of spaghetti stories. And gay guys are pretty forward, at least when they have the home field advantage haha. But that forwardness only extends towards making moves. If you're not down with the wiener wars, they'll back off and just be cool. BUT!.........A male stripper did dance his piece in my face......so there's that...

So is the spaghetti-Lose Yourself reference meaning that you choked and didn't take advantage,

or is it just like a funny ending that you tacked on, just because?

And yes, I want all your stories!

#43 Edited by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@Jezer said:

@Gambler said:

Can you do me a favor and delete Enemybird's recent/latest post from my thread? Whatever language in it is completely offtopic. I am now formally requesting people speak English in my thread...

@sesquipedalophobe said:

Just today when I bought a carton of cigarettes, they were all out of my specific brand. The girl suggested Mavericks and it made me think of Top Gun. So she said something flirty to me as I was still thinking about Top Gun. Iceman's hostility, Goose dying, and Take My Breath Away. Like an idiot I asked her, "So you think you're hot, huh?" I expected her to say, "Oh, I know I'm hot." She didn't see the movie so she took it as an insult, like I called her ugly. Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing sunglasses or chewing gum. But I saved five dollars on a carton.

Haha this is kind of funny. This is what I'm talking about!

I half feel like these are made up, because I can't actually imagine someone having the audacity to say these things to a girl Lol

It's pretty easy. The way I met my friend, when I thought she was gorgeous, she came to me and asked, "Can I ask you a question?" I was fixing an endcap at the time that someone messed up and I told her, "You just did. Bam!" I punched a cereal box and she told me to never mind. She didn't speak to me for three weeks.
#44 Posted by Inverno (13057 posts) - - Show Bio

I had always been awkward around women. End of story.

#45 Edited by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@CaioTrubat: The key to a woman's heart is insults. Instead of complimenting her on her shoes, make fun of them. Act like she's the last woman on earth and your eyes are only on her disgusting Reeboks. Instant success.
#46 Posted by ShootingNova (15469 posts) - - Show Bio

@CaioTrubat said:

I had always been awkward around women. End of story.

#47 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

@sesquipedalophobe said:

@CaioTrubat: The key to a woman's heart is insults. Instead of complimenting her on her shoes, make fun of them. Act like she's the last woman on earth and your eyes are only on her disgusting Reeboks. Instant success.

^This is called negging(pretty sure). The proper way is actually to compliment her while insulting her. Backhanded compliments in order to give off the impression that you're not impressed with her attractiveness and break her ego, while you show that your own perception of her matters more than her own.

I'd suggest not doing this; it's kinda sleazy. Unless you're dealing with a girl who thinks she's God's gift to the human race....Then she deserves it.

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I'll throw up another story in a little bit.

#48 Posted by Jezer (3065 posts) - - Show Bio

This story is not that embarrassing, more me being awkward. And it has some continuations and a plot twist!

Part 1 So, there's this girl I know. Let's call her Woopie. I'd say we're acquaintances. Either way, she was in my Modern? Dance class. She's not ugly or anything, but I'm not particularly attracted to her. She's very forward though and hits on me at times. As in, I'd be lying on my stomach waiting for class to start...and she'd come and lie down on top of me. She'd stare at me sometimes. Cuddle up to me randomly. One time, she randomly said that she loved me - out of nowhere. I was thrown, and responded with a "love ya too". She proceeded to criticize me on how unconvincing it sounded. (that wasn't really her hitting on me tho, that was her messing with me)

One weekend I got a haircut, and Woopie complimented me on it the following Monday. "Did you get a haircut?" "Yeah" "It looks good" "Thanks". On Wednesday, at some random point in class, she turned to me and was like "I like your haircut. Sexy." And winked.... I was thrown by the combination of a compliment and a wink, and I just don't take compliments well, so my awkward response was.........

"You already told me that Monday"(completely nonchalant voice) Yeah. No thanks. No return compliment. That was my response. I forget how she reacted or responded, but she later called me "awkward man candy" while talking about how they should notice how big my chest had gotten to other girls in the class. I gotta admit, my response was pretty awkward. If not accidentally douchey.

But wait, is my story finished?

Part 2 A couple months later, she's with a college group throwing a big party at a ghetto club. She's shuttling people back and forth. She invites me and I get two tickets to get in free and bring my best female friend. She drives us and two other people to the club. As soon as we get in the club to the edge of the dance floor, she promptly starts grinding on me. Considering I came with my female friend and I'm not that attracted to her.... I tell her, "Not really feeling the music right now".(First time I'd ever rejected a girl trying to dance on me - and one of the few times a girl has ever danced up on me without me initiating) Later on, a couple hours later near the closing time, I ask her to dance. She works it and... I feel nothing. Don't get me wrong, she was skilled - doing moves and gyrations I'd never experienced before.... but I wasn't even slightly aroused. Must be the shape of her butt.

Now, there was this one guy at the club chatting up my best female friend who I had brought along, who turned out to be Woopies guyfriend who she shared an apartment with; basically a brother to her. Without going into details, I left my female friend open for him to charm her and they exchanged numbers and started text talking.

A week or two later, my best female friend is telling me about him and "Oh yeah, he totally tried your life! Hahahahaaaaaa lmao"

'What?"

"At one point, he asked me about you. If you were my boyfriend or something. I said no. And then he was like... 'Yeah, I heard he was gay.' Hahahahahhaha" Apparently, he said he'd heard I was gay. He didn't say who.

I wonder who'd have told him that? Who has reason to think I am gay, now? Lol.....

Moral of the story: If you respond to a girl's compliments awkwardly, reject her advances, and don't get a boner when shes dancing all up on your peeen, a girl will think you are gay. ;)

#49 Posted by YoungJustice (6665 posts) - - Show Bio

Can I share more than 1 story?

#50 Posted by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@Jezer: That's like men calling women lesbians when they turn down their advances.