" IMO, everyone is biased to people. This bias is sometimes based on looks, sometimes personality. AS NExus just said, if the person looks good and is attractive to you, you wouldn't mind doing them a favor or speaking to them. If they are unattractive, I'd be like, " What the heck you want", in contrast to," How may I help you?" I'm not mean to them off the bat and I will likely be nice to them and try my best to treat theperson the same. So, yeah, looks play a role. "
And they do. It's not the biggest role, but it's important.
I'm not sure I understand. looks play little to no part in the "getting to know each other phase" because they have little to nothin' to do with who a person is. Maybe I can't relate to this part though. I don't tend to go looking for someone. In my own phylosophy it's counter productive. I'd rather hold out untill I meet someone through the course of my day than go out looking for someone. Looking for a relationship is like shopping hungry. You'll just buy what ever junk food you can find. When I get to liking someone I know by that point there's something more there than just physicall attraction and the desire to be with someone or have sex. "
That's pretty much how I operate, too, but in spite of that, looks still play a major role. Say that certain somebody comes up to you. The looks plays a factor in your mind on whether you want initially want to give the person that time of day. That said, the longer you learn about that person, the more attractive that person will seem to you. It's like you're learning to tolerate the person's looks, and that toleration will turn into acceptance which will turn into attraction. I think that's what you were getting at when you were saying "looks came second" with you. And of course, you gotta factor in personality into the mix. If an attractive person acts ugly, your mind will associate ugly with that person and they'll eventually look ugly to you, and the same thing vise versa. "
See in that scenario the woman actually approaching me at all would already have my attention. It's so rare for a woman to approach a man I'd impressed by her confidence. So sorry to be a pain in the @ss but unless she came off as arrogant or b!tchy she'd already have scored points but it'd be a personality thing again :) "
Think of it this way. She came to you because she found something physically attracted to you. "
But then that's her choice based on her physolophy. I'm just explaining my own outlook. I'm not saying you're wrong or it doesn't happen. Just saying it's not always the case. Looks are rarely a factor for me. "
" IMO, everyone is biased to people. This bias is sometimes based on looks, sometimes personality. AS NExus just said, if the person looks good and is attractive to you, you wouldn't mind doing them a favor or speaking to them. If they are unattractive, I'd be like, " What the heck you want", in contrast to," How may I help you?" I'm not mean to them off the bat and I will likely be nice to them and try my best to treat theperson the same. So, yeah, looks play a role. "
I guess that looks really do play a role in society, though i look on discrimination with the utmost disgust it is a key part in the way we live
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it?
@Dark Zoom: Aftr trul thinking about it, I see descrimination as openly disliking the person for what they are/have/don't have without giving it a thought or puting into consideration how you SHOULD act/react. As you said, discrimination very much alive and apart of us.
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop.
" Yeah unless your a model or look naturally good, its rare women walk t a man to flirt. "
I find the opposite to be true. Conventionally good looking women are generally bored of men approaching them with the same old schtick and because so many approach them usually wont approach a man. I'm not sayin' that's always the case but often.
@NexusOfLight said:
" @Gylan Thomas said:
" @NexusOfLight said:
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop. "
I don't feel I'm denying anything. This is just the way it is for me. I'm simply explaining my point of view. In the hypothetical scenarios you describe even if the girl was beautiful I'd give her direction or make elevator small talk then let her go about her day and probably never give her a second thought. The scenario of sharing a class with someone is much more relevant to my own way of thinkin'. I'd help her out with what ever problem she was havin' but if I didn't enjoy her company that's all. I'd not pass any judgement because of her looks or anything like that. Unless perhaps in all honesty it was a negative subconsious judgement. I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that in my own experience of beautiful people they're often not the sort of people I tend to associate with.
@Dreadnaught: Yea... I believe people respect her enough not to do it. But, I wouldn't put it past my expectations that she has gotten a few lecherous mails.
" Yeah unless your a model or look naturally good, its rare women walk t a man to flirt. "
I find the opposite to be true. Conventionally good looking women are generally bored of men approaching them with the same old schtick and because so many approach them usually wont approach a man. I'm not sayin' that's always the case but often.
@NexusOfLight said:
" @Gylan Thomas said:
" @NexusOfLight said:
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop. "
I don't feel I'm denying anything. This is just the way it is for me. I'm simply explaining my point of view. In the hypothetical scenarios you describe even if the girl was beautiful I'd give her direction or make elevator small talk then let her go about her day and probably never give her a second thought. The scenario of sharing a class with someone is much more relevant to my own way of thinkin'. I'd help her out with what ever problem she was havin' but if I didn't enjoy her company that's all. I'd not pass any judgement because of her looks or anything like that. Unless perhaps in all honesty it was a negative subconsious judgement. I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that in my own experience of beautiful people they're often not the sort of people I tend to associate with. "
Women approach men often... but men are often too dumb to realize they're flirting with them.
" Yeah unless your a model or look naturally good, its rare women walk t a man to flirt. "
I find the opposite to be true. Conventionally good looking women are generally bored of men approaching them with the same old schtick and because so many approach them usually wont approach a man. I'm not sayin' that's always the case but often.
@NexusOfLight said:
" @Gylan Thomas said:
" @NexusOfLight said:
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop. "
I don't feel I'm denying anything. This is just the way it is for me. I'm simply explaining my point of view. In the hypothetical scenarios you describe even if the girl was beautiful I'd give her direction or make elevator small talk then let her go about her day and probably never give her a second thought. The scenario of sharing a class with someone is much more relevant to my own way of thinkin'. I'd help her out with what ever problem she was havin' but if I didn't enjoy her company that's all. I'd not pass any judgement because of her looks or anything like that. Unless perhaps in all honesty it was a negative subconsious judgement. I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that in my own experience of beautiful people they're often not the sort of people I tend to associate with. "
Women approach men often... but men are often too dumb to realize they're flirting with them. "
Did you just call me dumb? :P
In my own experience and from speaking to female friends I've found women tend to hang back and wait for the guy. Maybe they'll try to get his attention some how but the direct approach is rare. In my own experience that is. I suppose it depends how you define often too.
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop. "
I don't feel I'm denying anything. This is just the way it is for me. I'm simply explaining my point of view. In the hypothetical scenarios you describe even if the girl was beautiful I'd give her direction or make elevator small talk then let her go about her day and probably never give her a second thought. The scenario of sharing a class with someone is much more relevant to my own way of thinkin'. I'd help her out with what ever problem she was havin' but if I didn't enjoy her company that's all. I'd not pass any judgement because of her looks or anything like that. Unless perhaps in all honesty it was a negative subconsious judgement. I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that in my own experience of beautiful people they're often not the sort of people I tend to associate with. "
Not beautiful by means of majority vote, when I say beautiful I mean beautiful or attractive to you. Whether that aligns with what the media tries to pass off as beauty is something else entirely. It's entirely subjective. The gist of what I'm trying to say is there's always something going along in your mind. Sure, her looks might not be the first thing on your mind while you're solving the problem, but it's something that's there, and it's probably the first thing you noticed (simply because when you look at someone, the first thing you see is how that person looks). It's just one of the things every person does. Out of curiosity, have you taken a course in psychology or sociology?
You've never had a female walk up to you before? Not in a flirty kinda way, but just--I don't know, maybe she's lost, needs directions to a place, or she's struggling in a class and knows you're one of the smart guys so asks you for help, or you're both on an elevator and she decides to say something to just for the sake of breaking that awkward silence thing, that kinda stuff. "
Well yeah. That's not what we're discussing here though is it? "
For that scenario, that's what I had in mind. Sorry for not making that clear. Since you say you don't go looking for a person, I was saying a person could come to you for whatever reason and you'd still pass some sort of judgment based on the looks. The reason I'm still keeping this discussion going is because you seem very similar to me in this respect, and because you're so similar I can't help but think that by you denying the look thing having no effect on you that you're denying what occurs in your mind. Forgive me if I'm getting pushy or this is getting on your nerves. If so, I'll stop. "
I don't feel I'm denying anything. This is just the way it is for me. I'm simply explaining my point of view. In the hypothetical scenarios you describe even if the girl was beautiful I'd give her direction or make elevator small talk then let her go about her day and probably never give her a second thought. The scenario of sharing a class with someone is much more relevant to my own way of thinkin'. I'd help her out with what ever problem she was havin' but if I didn't enjoy her company that's all. I'd not pass any judgement because of her looks or anything like that. Unless perhaps in all honesty it was a negative subconsious judgement. I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that in my own experience of beautiful people they're often not the sort of people I tend to associate with. "
Not beautiful by means of majority vote, when I say beautiful I mean beautiful or attractive to you. Whether that aligns with what the media tries to pass off as beauty is something else entirely. It's entirely subjective. The gist of what I'm trying to say is there's always something going along in your mind. Sure, her looks might not be the first thing on your mind while you're solving the problem, but it's something that's there, and it's probably the first thing you noticed (simply because when you look at someone, the first thing you see is how that person looks). It's just one of the things every person does. Out of curiosity, have you taken a course in psychology or sociology? "
I was gonna say I meant beautiful by my own standards but then noticed you'd drawn my attention to the part in bold. There I did kinda mean conventionally beautiful. Even when I meet someone I personally find beautiful I don't dwell on that. The thought will pass from my mind almost right away and I'll not make any judgement or reaction based on that. I've not always felt like that however. It's a thought process that's developed over time. Not intentionally I might add but more through experience. It's like I said to GreenLantern555 when he mentioned a boner. The boners there but I don't have to react to it. I'm not a dog on heat or anything. The first thing I see when I meet someone is there looks but that's used more to recognise them next time than decide weather or not I want to know them better. I'm not criticising anyone here or trying to suggest anyone's wrong. I understand human nature. I'm just explaining my own thoughts and ways.
i've never studied psychology or sociology but I have given thought to the kind of issues we're discussing and contemplated why people make the choices they do.
@Gylan Thomas: Alright, I gotcha. thought is still there, but reaction is still your choice. That's good. That's called self control. If you look at it from Freud's point of view, your Id, or impulse is put into perspective by your ego. Yeah, if you find this kinda stuff interesting, I definitely recommend taking one of those courses. I write stories, so I took psychology for that reason, but I picked up on a lot of neat stuff from it.
Well, I say this discussion wraps up rather nicely.
" @Gylan Thomas: Alright, I gotcha. thought is still there, but reaction is still your choice. That's good. That's called self control. If you look at it from Freud's point of view, your Id, or impulse is put into perspective by your ego. Yeah, if you find this kinda stuff interesting, I definitely recommend taking one of those courses. I write stories, so I took psychology for that reason, but I picked up on a lot of neat stuff from it. Well, I say this discussion wraps up rather nicely. "
I think there's a lot to be learned from paying attention to the people around us and learning from what we see. Sure we migth not learn the jargon and stuf that way but it's watching it happen. Budget would restrict me in takin' a course unfortunately :( Knowing that sort of thing must help with writing plausible characters.
@Gylan Thomas: Very true. It's also kinda fun. Seeing what happens, then theorizing about why it happened. That's essentially what psychology is about. Observing. The advantage in taking the class, is that you don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to figuring things out. It's cool. Even if you can't take the course, try to look up some things online. It's all interesting. Now, I don't wanna keep you up any longer, so go ahead an' get some sleep.
When did it become unacceptable for someone to say "hey, this person is gorgeous" or "this person looks good", etc etc? I feel like I just read an entire thread of insecure whimps complaining about someone being expressive.
Yeah, Babs ain't hard on the eyes. I'd also say she's aware of it, and if she ain't, she probably should be.
That doesn't automatically mean everyone who agrees with that statement is sitting outside of her window in a bush, or that they are some form of creep. They merely appreciate a good-looking woman.
" @Cherry Bomb: I'm slightly concerned that you've turned his name in to a verb. On a side note, Coonced sounds like code for getting completely wasted. "
Well he certainly makes me love drunk ;) wooo. "
Just don't get drunk on the new wheels. Just polished the chrome on my baby. "
you planning on riding me home afterwards or something? :P
"
Not something. That's exactly what I plan on doing.
" She is also SUPER smart, funny, sweet and very cool. :) But she is nothing on Inferiorego lol "
@jakob187 said:
" When did it become unacceptable for someone to say "hey, this person is gorgeous" or "this person looks good", etc etc? I feel like I just read an entire thread of insecure whimps complaining about someone being expressive. Yeah, Babs ain't hard on the eyes. I'd also say she's aware of it, and if she ain't, she probably should be. That doesn't automatically mean everyone who agrees with that statement is sitting outside of her window in a bush, or that they are some form of creep. They merely appreciate a good-looking woman. "
Is it really that expressive? Hardly high art or anything, is it? It'd be one thing to mention it in chat with a buddy or something but to set a whole thread or blog about it? Maybe if you'd had a few beers. No offence to GreenLantern555, talking last night he came across as an ok sort of dude, but sayin' something that's already been said about a million times is probably more boring than flattering to Bab's by now. I'm sure she gets enough lame comments from fanboys on her pictures here on the site. It amounts to the same thing as approachin' a woman in a club with some weak line. She's heard it all before and chances are she aint gonna be impressed. Shall we all stop by Bab's profile and leave a little message sayin' how gorgeous she is under her pictures too? It really is just like a lot of teenage boys oggling a woman or drunks in a club. Lame.
What's even lamer though is folk leaving negative comments like....
@FinalStar86 said:
" Its all about Finalstar86, no one is prettier then I And to answer your question, is she attractive? Yes, gorgeous? Too far "
@Ubermenschen Korps said:
" That's her? I've seen better. "
No need for that really.
Since we are still playin' this game I'm gonna add Primav3ra to the comicvine hottie list :D
" @Cherry Bomb: I'm slightly concerned that you've turned his name in to a verb. On a side note, Coonced sounds like code for getting completely wasted. "
Well he certainly makes me love drunk ;) wooo. "
Just don't get drunk on the new wheels. Just polished the chrome on my baby. "
you planning on riding me home afterwards or something? :P
"
Not something. That's exactly what I plan on doing. "
@Gylan Thomas: some others have actual pictures up on their profiles. So yea that would be a compliment. I think georgious is a little over doing it for someone ive never met before
" She is also SUPER smart, funny, sweet and very cool. :) But she is nothing on Inferiorego lol "
@jakob187 said:
" When did it become unacceptable for someone to say "hey, this person is gorgeous" or "this person looks good", etc etc? I feel like I just read an entire thread of insecure whimps complaining about someone being expressive. Yeah, Babs ain't hard on the eyes. I'd also say she's aware of it, and if she ain't, she probably should be. That doesn't automatically mean everyone who agrees with that statement is sitting outside of her window in a bush, or that they are some form of creep. They merely appreciate a good-looking woman. "
Is it really that expressive? Hardly high art or anything, is it? It'd be one thing to mention it in chat with a buddy or something but to set a whole thread or blog about it? Maybe if you'd had a few beers. No offence to GreenLantern555, talking last night he came across as an ok sort of dude, but sayin' something that's already been said about a million times is probably more boring than flattering to Bab's by now. I'm sure she gets enough lame comments from fanboys on her pictures here on the site. It amounts to the same thing as approachin' a woman in a club with some weak line. She's heard it all before and chances are she aint gonna be impressed. Shall we all stop by Bab's profile and leave a little message sayin' how gorgeous she is under her pictures too? It really is just like a lot of teenage boys oggling a woman or drunks in a club. Lame.
What's even lamer though is folk leaving negative comments like....
@FinalStar86 said:
" Its all about Finalstar86, no one is prettier then I And to answer your question, is she attractive? Yes, gorgeous? Too far "
@Ubermenschen Korps said:
" That's her? I've seen better. "
No need for that really.
Since we are still playin' this game I'm gonna add Primav3ra to the comicvine hottie list :D "
Well, like I told to DarkZoom I didn't intend for any of this to happen. Even though I do feel that she is gorgeous, it was a silly thread that shouldn't have gotten this far. I do have to say though I'm glad it did. We had some deep talks that I feel we both learned at least something from. So I regret nothing ;-)
The only thing I may feel bad about is if Babs takes offense to this. So Babs, if you are reading this and are angry, I apologize.
" Its all about Finalstar86, no one is prettier then I And to answer your question, is she attractive? Yes, gorgeous? Too far "
How in the world is gorgeous going too far? I feel, in my own personal opinion that she is gorgeous. Gorgeous is a subjective term. I was just asking if others felt the same. She may not be gorgeous in your eyes or to your standards, but don't say that gorgeous is "Too far."
" @Cherry Bomb: I'm slightly concerned that you've turned his name in to a verb. On a side note, Coonced sounds like code for getting completely wasted. "
Well he certainly makes me love drunk ;) wooo. "
Just don't get drunk on the new wheels. Just polished the chrome on my baby. "
you planning on riding me home afterwards or something? :P
"
Not something. That's exactly what I plan on doing. "
hahahaha
@DEGRAAF said:
" she is the most attractive woman ive seen on this site "
" @Gylan Thomas: some others have actual pictures up on their profiles. So yea that would be a compliment. I think georgious is a little over doing it for someone ive never met before "
I don't feel that it is. i mean I am a huge Kiera Knightly fan. I don't have to meet he to know that, physically, she is incredibly beautiful. All I do know about her is how she looks and what I have seen on like, unscripted. She is, physically, gorgeous.
" She is also SUPER smart, funny, sweet and very cool. :) But she is nothing on Inferiorego lol "
@jakob187 said:
" When did it become unacceptable for someone to say "hey, this person is gorgeous" or "this person looks good", etc etc? I feel like I just read an entire thread of insecure whimps complaining about someone being expressive. Yeah, Babs ain't hard on the eyes. I'd also say she's aware of it, and if she ain't, she probably should be. That doesn't automatically mean everyone who agrees with that statement is sitting outside of her window in a bush, or that they are some form of creep. They merely appreciate a good-looking woman. "
Is it really that expressive? Hardly high art or anything, is it? It'd be one thing to mention it in chat with a buddy or something but to set a whole thread or blog about it? Maybe if you'd had a few beers. No offence to GreenLantern555, talking last night he came across as an ok sort of dude, but sayin' something that's already been said about a million times is probably more boring than flattering to Bab's by now. I'm sure she gets enough lame comments from fanboys on her pictures here on the site. It amounts to the same thing as approachin' a woman in a club with some weak line. She's heard it all before and chances are she aint gonna be impressed. Shall we all stop by Bab's profile and leave a little message sayin' how gorgeous she is under her pictures too? It really is just like a lot of teenage boys oggling a woman or drunks in a club. Lame.
What's even lamer though is folk leaving negative comments like....
@FinalStar86 said:
" Its all about Finalstar86, no one is prettier then I And to answer your question, is she attractive? Yes, gorgeous? Too far "
@Ubermenschen Korps said:
" That's her? I've seen better. "
No need for that really.
Since we are still playin' this game I'm gonna add Primav3ra to the comicvine hottie list :D "
Well, like I told to DarkZoom I didn't intend for any of this to happen. Even though I do feel that she is gorgeous, it was a silly thread that shouldn't have gotten this far. I do have to say though I'm glad it did. We had some deep talks that I feel we both learned at least something from. So I regret nothing ;-) The only thing I may feel bad about is if Babs takes offense to this. So Babs, if you are reading this and are angry, I apologize. "
I doubt she'd be offended. Unimpressed or ambivilant maybe. The thing is something like this here basicly makes a big deal out of nothing more than the way someone looks. Reduces them to a nothing but a body. "Treaded like a peice of meat" is a term I often hear used.
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