#51 Posted by Veshark (9292 posts) - - Show Bio

I just wanted to give mad props to all of you in this thread, including both those who are willing to share your problems, and those offering comfort and advice. I can't really chime in much due to a lack of experience in this area, but it's a nice change to see Viners coming together in mutual support.

Keep your heads up, fellow Viners.

#52 Edited by flazam (2608 posts) - - Show Bio
#53 Posted by batmannflash (6272 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: yeah I understand what you're saying. thank you!

#54 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson:

Hey man. I have flunked out of college once and I'm prob not going back after this year. This is due to me having ADHD, PPD, and anxiety. I'm classifed as on autistic spectrum ( technical term is high functioning autism, though if you met me I act just like someone with ADHD, Im pretty low on the spectrum). I'm 20 male living at home. ANd Mom is going through her second divorce, and we gotta move sometime. With ADHD change is awful and I dislike moving. But I'm trying to deal with it and my anxiety meds prob help too haha.

But you see when I flunked out of college I was in shock. I mean I went to hard high school and aced it. Now in college my meds started wearing off, figures, it would have to be the worst possible time for that to happen lol. And I was semi depressed for a week. Barley ate ( and I have a super low appetite normally, I'm only like 115 pounds lol. BUt healthy) and constant feeling of anxiety. It freaking sucked. I call that week hell week casue I was so scared of what my grandfather who paid for my college and always saw me in a great light as a very smart estudious guy. And my mom I was afradi what she would do. I had somewhat suicidal thoughts, which was super rare for me cause I'm very religious and I hate pain. Now I'd never kil myself because its a sin, and I didn't want to hurt those close to me, and I hate pain lol. But logically speaking it seemed like the only way out, but that way was impossible for me to do. So I was between rock and hard place. It sucked. Eventually my friend told the college counsler about my semi suicdal thinking and the counsler in turn called mom and informed her. Then the anxiety went away and it felt like a massive burden was off my shoulders.

My point with that long story was that I had reasons to keep on going even when everything was going to shit, and even while having to deal with mom going through this second divorce I got my reasons to keep going and to assume life is good. One is religon, idk if your religous or not but it does help. My family and friends, I coudn't hurt them by doing something to hurt myself ( plus on a more funny note I told myself I don't wanna mess my brother up more than he already is lol). And currently I am helping my little sis of 8 with the divorce, I was her age during moms first one. So I am trying to help her, I got her into super heros and stuff and she enjoys talking aobut it with me. ITs her escape, just as power rangers and digimon were mine back then. Also I listed to music during hell week. Check out the band My chemical romance, their music is very good and quite inspirational. My fav song during that week was famous last words.

Now I know this is super long but I truly hope that with reading my story you see your not the only one going through shit. Your not alone in this world. Don't feel like the outsider, just know there are people who do really love you even if you can't fully see that. I hope that what I told you is inspirational for you and makes you feel a little better.

Thank you for taking the time to read this super long post lol. And For real, listen if you ever feel really depressed or sad I want you to know that even though you don't even know me, feel free to PM me anytime about something you would like to talk about. I'm serious here, I enjoy helping people with this stuff and have done it before. I mean I want you to know that you can PM me anytime to talk about anything, I'm a very caring and compassionate guy and I'd be my pleasure to help you with whatever your going through at that time. I truly do hope you feel better and know that even though we don't know each other you can come to me with just about anything man.

Once again thanks for taking the time to read this lol ( wow think I broke my record of longest post lol)

#55 Posted by markofkaine (89 posts) - - Show Bio

im sorry for all you guys im a lucky guy, i have adhd but thats it. but you guys will make it through you have to! heres a song for you, go motivation!

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#56 Posted by BRAXCKLOFF (44 posts) - - Show Bio

Allow me to start and say if any of you are sensitive to this topic or don't like what I might discuss then PM me personally if there is a problem and we can talk about it with reason.

So, I guess this is more of a blog than an actual topic. But I myself have been dealing with depression for the better part of my existence on this earth now. I am fifteen now and I'd like to say I started feeling the emotion of sadness at the beginning of 5th grade when I was like ten or eleven. Umm back then I had low self esteem due to the fact I was overweight and people would pick on me for it. It would cross into middle school where it actually got pretty horrible and I attempted suicide. I am still overweight but I have taken strides to at least try and doing something about it.

But that's not the point, I'm crossing into a sophomore in highschool next year and I have not really been able to rid of my depression. Even though I have grown way more of a thicker skin and usually don't take everything serious like I used to. My depression went from low-self esteem to feeling alone. To this day I feel alone yet I have many friends and acquaintances. At this point in my short life I feel I need to just suck it up and get over what ever this it but...I just cant. I hate the person I look at in the mirror and I'm tired of this self-loathing . The way I'm going, I will die mentally...

Umm again this is a sensitive subject but I guess my question to all of you is how do you deal with depression? Have you dealt with it? Do you still deal with it? Do you think I'm a kid who just needs to get over it and I'm to young to feel this way? I want to hear any feed back positive or negative :)

BRO!!! I'm 15 too!!! dang I thought I was the youngest person in CV

#57 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29814 posts) - - Show Bio

I wouldn't call it clinical depression, but I get bad sometimes. I just try to distract myself from it. Music, taking a nap, working out, etc. Working out seems to work best. Replaces the crushing bad feels with some fraction of self-confidence.

#58 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#59 Edited by BRAXCKLOFF (44 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson:: By the way, don't let the sadness take over you,

  • Watch a funny/entertaining movie, show, video
  • Get somebody to tickle you
  • Play A LOT of video games
  • I know as a teenager eating JUNK FOOD is natural but It makes a huge difference to start eating the right healthy food, like fruits, vegetables, and good protein.
  • It's summer break. Try asking your family if you guys could have a vacation at the beach or something.
  • Take an intense BOXING CLASS. It will build your confidence and keep you occupied.
  • Go swimming. It's really hot nowadays and you should go to the pool and cool yourself off
  • TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT IT. Have a deep conversation about what your feeling and they WILL help you.
  • ( it's not gonna stay this way forever)
#60 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29814 posts) - - Show Bio

@martyyy15:

Muse, Imagine Dragons, MCR, Three Days Grace, AWOLNATION, classic rock, some rap even.

#61 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@innervenom123:

You like MCR too. HOLY CRAP We agree on something!! XD

#62 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29814 posts) - - Show Bio

@martyyy15:

"You know, we're not so different."
"Yes we are. We're night and day. Except in this one instance."

#63 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#64 Edited by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#65 Edited by BRAXCKLOFF (44 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson:: How many people at school are making fun of you??

If it's not that much, then just ignore them.

If they attack you or push you, punch you, YOU MUST STOMP THEM,

You don't let anyone touch you!!!! Take a wrestling class in highschool,

I mean common, There just young stupid kids goofing off. ( like me ) ( read the bucket list thread )

There's nothing to be sad about.

Your school is retarded, Picking on someone just because they are over weight??!!! At my school, we only pick on fat people if they insult me or if they are really weird or something like that.

I know this might sound hard but you really need to exercise man!! Like really. If those stupid goofballs are gonna keep making fun of you then lose weight NOW!!! I really think it's your only option.

But good luck!!!

#66 Edited by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

Well...how do I start? I'll just make this short and it's going to be stream-of-consciousness style...

  • In school,I was always bullied (all the way back from first grade) due to a minor condition that I had no control over and I was a bit clueless to things. I was called "white" due to caring about my education,I talked proper (that's naturally how I talked),I liked video games,etc....bad enough that they use a persons race as an insult (I'm not white,but the fact that a persons race is considered an insult to them is so...pathetic),but also bad enough that they believe/support stereotypes. Even though my grades were excellent,I was ALWAYS obedient,etc some teachers (most were nice) talked down on me....Also,my kindness was basically taken for a weakness.
  • My father was abusive to my mother in my early years (elementary,as above),so that kinda left an emotional mark and I was always there to see/experience it.
  • My parents were also VERY verbally abusive (of course they loved me and I loved them,too),so I basically felt useless,worthless,empty,etc all the time.I actually felt like my existence was a hindrance.In fact it happened on an almost daily occasion. I could care less if I had a disease and died and I basically still feel worthless. I always have low-self esteem..I am VERY timid and rarely interact with people and often times I exclude myself from groups (btw,this has been happening from like,age 11,so I've actually become use to all this stuff now) and it doesn't help when people actually treat me like trash.....I've actually grown to have enmity towards people,but at the same time most of my interactions with people were with nice people. So I always keep my guard up until I know I can put it down with certain people. I can't treat all people as if they are bad since most haven't treated me that way,but at the same time I keep my guard up and don't really open up to people.Including my friends. I mean,I make friends,but usually it's because they are very open people and I always keep to myself. I also shake violently when talking in front of ANY large group of people.

And when I was a kid (around 13),almost half of my hair looked gray...I don't know if that is a result of stress or if that's a myth. I mean,it's not a disease or anything...

Anyway,how do I deal with it? I don't really,I just keep it to myself and don't really show it,I bottle it up and keep it down (which is something I'm VERY good at.In fact,I don't think that I've ever shown it)....this is not advice for you and I KNOW it's not healthy,but half of me doesn't even care anymore. Just sharing my experience...I don't take my anger out on people/animals/objects or commit suicide or self-mutilation because:

1. It won't even measure up to the emptiness at all

2. It won't really be worth it.

Basically,it's impossible to express.

So I don't exactly know how to answer.....

#67 Edited by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

Umm hair turing gray....You might be possed by paralax....might wanna see someone about that lol

#68 Posted by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

Umm hair turing gray....You might be possed by paralax....might wanna see someone about that lol

XD

Not really severe.I mean,a LOT was grey,but I just cut my hair every now and then.

#69 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

Haha. If you don't mind my asking how old are you right now?

#70 Posted by ULTRAstarkiller (7522 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: Thanks never though about it like that lol.

#71 Edited by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@martyyy15 said:

@cameron83:

Haha. If you don't mind my asking how old are you right now?

19..um,why?

#72 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

Same age as me man. Do you still at times get depressed? I hope no one picks on you anymore, that'd be pretty immature on thier part ( well then again all bullying is immature)

#73 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

and I was just curious on how long its been since you have had the problems you mentioned above. I hope life is better for you now bro

#74 Edited by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

Same age as me man. Do you still at times get depressed? I hope no one picks on you anymore, that'd be pretty immature on thier part ( well then again all bullying is immature)

Well,no one does it now...but I generally feel pretty worthless and empty and such...but as said,it's not really new. So I'm fine.

I mean,I do get really depressed at times,but it passes.....and I still laugh and joke and stuff :P

#75 Posted by warlock360 (28180 posts) - - Show Bio
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#76 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

I'm sorry you feel that way. Know this you aren't worthless. Granted I don't know you but I know that everyone has worth in this world. Everyone contributes to the system, ( economically, being someones freind, supporting others, etc...) I mean if you feel empty try to find something that will fill that emptiness. Even if its just going to the movies with some friends or chillin at home reading comics. Try to think of it this way, there are people in this world who have it way worse. consider bruce wayne, life could be much worse. Try to be happy and positive. Even things that seem freaking awful at the time tend to have some positive effects/results in the long run

And this is off topic, but my phone notified me that post you made, but it said 23 instead of 19. BUt here on the actuall post it says 19. Did you edit it? I want to know cause I just got this new phone like 2 days ago and I want to make sure its not having issues with notifications lol

#77 Edited by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@martyyy15 said:

@cameron83:

I'm sorry you feel that way. Know this you aren't worthless. Granted I don't know you but I know that everyone has worth in this world. Everyone contributes to the system, ( economically, being someones freind, supporting others, etc...) I mean if you feel empty try to find something that will fill that emptiness. Even if its just going to the movies with some friends or chillin at home reading comics. Try to think of it this way, there are people in this world who have it way worse. consider bruce wayne, life could be much worse. Try to be happy and positive. Even things that seem freaking awful at the time tend to have some positive effects/results in the long run

And this is off topic, but my phone notified me that post you made, but it said 23 instead of 19. BUt here on the actuall post it says 19. Did you edit it? I want to know cause I just got this new phone like 2 days ago and I want to make sure its not having issues with notifications lol

Well,I don't know if I CAN put it into that perspective because it almost feels that the situation is nothing or not as serious as it is...and I know it's kinda serious. And thanks for the support,but again,I got use to it. I don't feel that anything can fill the emptiness,and I kinda stopped caring anyway...but I don't really feel completely worthless and such.And I still laugh and joke and such...although I have a bit of a pessimistic view on life in many occasions,but that's just me.

Also,23? lol I'm not that old,son! :)

btw,I just made an edit: I put "feel" the emptiness..lol that sounds stupid. I made an error there.But still,I don't know about that 23 thing..

#78 Edited by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

I'm sure someday you'll have a family and be quite happy. I'm glad you can still enjoy life even if its a pessimistic view of it. And my phone did get the feel part right, so idk why it said 23 on it. But I don't think I'll worry about it lol.

#79 Posted by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

I'm sure someday you'll have a family and be quite happy. I'm glad you can still enjoy life even if its a pessimistic view of it. And my phone did get the feel part right, so idk why it said 23 on it. But I don't think I'll worry about it lol.

Meh.I hate kids...but still,thanks lol.

#80 Edited by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#81 Posted by Samimista (21771 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson: If you ever need someone I'm always here to chat possum! Depression can be a very dark place especially when it's your first time dealing with it. Does anyone in real life know about this though? Such as your family? Even though you may feel alone during it there's people that care about you. It's always important to remember the best qualities you have and to love yourself.

#82 Edited by JulieDC (1181 posts) - - Show Bio

I have been dealing with depression since I was 10. Complete with suicidal thoughts and hating myself. I don't know if you ever actually outgrow depression or not to be honest. I'm about to turn 24 next week and I am still dealing with it. Therapy never worked for me. So for the most part, I just try and find something to do to keep myself busy so I don't have time to think. Cause when I have time to think, my thoughts drift into all the problems I am dealing with, and then I begin to get really depressed because I feel like I am trapped in some kind of abyss. I know I'll never find happiness anymore, these days, I am just either depressed or extremely depressed (those are the times where I want to die) and maybe even bipolar for all I know.

#83 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#84 Posted by Pro_Nelson (1520 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd honestly like to say to everyone who's been posting thank you so much I appreciate the feed back and somewhat welcoming enviorment. I'm not gonna lie I didn't think this post would get that much interest like it has xD. But thanks to all of you who have shared your stories and personal experiences and thanks for offering encouraging words to me also.

Thank you, Fellow Viners <3 ! :D

#85 Posted by Samimista (21771 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson: and thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us all. The Vine is family. We confide and help one another out.

#86 Edited by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson: in brightest day bro in brightest day....lol couldnt resist. But on a more serious note, no problem. Happy to help

#87 Edited by Pro_Nelson (1520 posts) - - Show Bio

@braxckloff: Nahh bruh, I'm not being made fun of. It was when I was younger I couldn't really take jokes and when I was made fun of I never been exposed to that harsh of a reality when I was a young kid. So I never got passed it, Now I have a thicker skin and my self -esteem is way better now. I am able to take jokes and even dish them out. But it's just...There is no answer for me right now...I don't actually know where this is coming from.

#88 Posted by twitchy_tail (23 posts) - - Show Bio

I had this problem scince agout 4th grade. I'm 20 now and still have a bit of problem with it but it's nothing compared to what it once was. at some point I was even suicidal and crap and was also in denial. I would suggest going to a therapist or psycologist and figure out some kind of antidpressents if that dosnt help and get it over with sooner rather then latter. Remember someone always loves you and you are needed.

I wish I went when I was in school still maybe I would have bin happier and made more friends and stuff.

#89 Edited by M3th (2106 posts) - - Show Bio

Yes I have. Look at the end of the tunnel. You have to see the positive of each situation. Most importantly Love yourself.

Get to know yourself and love yourself. You want to lose weight then think about how great you are for taking initiative to change your life style. Love that you are growing and becoming better. Enjoy the moment, don't dwell on the past.

also exercise is important... a human being needs exercise. Believe me once you exercise you feel way better and it is beyond "looks."

Lastly I like to end this with one of my favorite quotes, "I thank God I don't give a $#!%, I also thank him for the bad times because it taught me to appreciate."

#90 Posted by Edamame (29377 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, I'd recommend not being so harsh on yourself. Don't worry about your physical appearances or how you look. It simply does not matter. I'd also recommend only focusing on your interests and hobbies. That is all that matters in life, really. Don't worry about other people and what they think. They don't matter. They aren't paying your bills, they aren't cooking food for you and they aren't helping you get along in life. Just focus on yourself.

I hope that helps. :)

#91 Posted by warlock360 (28180 posts) - - Show Bio

#92 Posted by martyyy15 (1252 posts) - - Show Bio
#93 Posted by Pyrogram (42534 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson: Sorry to hear that stuff bro, If you ever wana chat about stuff PM me mate :) You little RPG fraudster :p

#94 Edited by lykopis (10868 posts) - - Show Bio

@samimista said:

@pro_nelson: and thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us all. The Vine is family. We confide and help one another out.

This little lady above is our resident Sunshine Princess and Raccoon Rabble Rouser! She knows what she's talking about.

This goes for everyone else as well. So many people you can PM and talk to on here (although I would really, really push for someone to talk to face to face, like a family member or trusted friend too). We are all friendly here (we just pretend to be mean sometimes).

Except for Sammy. She's pure gold. <3

#95 Posted by Samimista (21771 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis said:

@samimista said:

@pro_nelson: and thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us all. The Vine is family. We confide and help one another out.

This little lady above is our resident Sunshine Princess and Raccoon Rabble Rouser! She knows what she's talking about.

This goes for everyone else as well. So many people you can PM and talk to on here (although I would really, really push for someone to talk to face to face, like a family member or trusted friend too). We are all friendly here (we just pretend to be mean sometimes).

Except for Sammy. She's pure gold. <3

*huggles tightly*
Love you big sis! =D You're a pure platinum diamond! Even though I don't know if such a thing exists. =O But that is because you're a rarity! =D All hail Empress Lykos! <3
#96 Posted by NightCrawler358 (202 posts) - - Show Bio

I was the same way when I was your age, still comes up occasionally. High school sucks, and I will never stop hating it with a passion. But by Grade 12, I had settled into a group of friends that actually cared for me and I cared for them, my hobbies changed, my life changed, and since then I've been happier than ever before.

Doesn't matter what people tell you, everybody feels like this, especially at your age, and these feelings emerge at different points later on in life too, they just feel the worst now because you're changing into your own person. Cliche as it all sounds, trust me

It gets better.

#98 Posted by GraniteSoldier (10931 posts) - - Show Bio

I went through depression when my parents split, my whole family (extended included) sundered itself. It's going to sound lame, but one day I just got mad, very mad, at myself. I was better than that. I was stronger than that. I just...snapped myself out of it. I was scheduled to see a doc and all, and never ended up going. I almost felt it creepy up on me again over some events overseas. But I knew how to handle it, I knew how I beat it. The human spirit, human will, is the most powerful force on Earth. We broke the sound barrier with it, conquered the planets highest peaks, and it took us to space. Love yourself, believe in yourself. It worked for me, may not for you, but never devalue your own strength, doubt is poison, trust me I know.

#99 Edited by Pro_Nelson (1520 posts) - - Show Bio

Well so like, I wanted to update you guys sense I made this thread when I was in a really bad place like mentally. Which was 2 months ago honestly I did it to myself guys. (I never was able to update because I spilled water on my old laptop but eventually I got a new one as you can see :) ) But I wanted to say thank you for all the support you gave and the stories you also told. I could barley hold a candle to what some of you go through man. I am doing much much better now. Some of you barley know me but for the past 5 years that I have literally stalked the vine cause I'm a creep like that. Lol but anyways I have been here for many many years I wanna say I was like eleven or twelve maybe even ten. Time flies and I'm fifteen going on sixteen, I realized I still have alot more to go I don't plan on wasting that. Jesus I'm writing such a feminine type deal. All the dudes on the vine are going to call me lightskin or sus xD. But again thanks for the support and also the stories of you all shared. Let me stop rambling on man.

-You're friend Nelson

#100 Edited by Samimista (21771 posts) - - Show Bio

@pro_nelson: Aw your welcome. Anytime! That's what we're here for. ComicVine is like family. Whenever one of us has a problem or is in need of help, we're always here to listen to one another. I always love how the community gets together and vents. It shows that this is a lot more than a website. We're a happy family. =D Oh wow! xD You knew the Vine that long? I didn't know of this site til I joined two and a half years ago. xD That really is cool you've seen this site from the very beginning! Thank you for being so brave and sharing this with us. Is truly nice to hear from you.