Depression...

Allow me to start and say if any of you are sensitive to this topic or don't like what I might discuss then PM me personally if there is a problem and we can talk about it with reason.

So, I guess this is more of a blog than an actual topic. But I myself have been dealing with depression for the better part of my existence on this earth now. I am fifteen now and I'd like to say I started feeling the emotion of sadness at the beginning of 5th grade when I was like ten or eleven. Umm back then I had low self esteem due to the fact I was overweight and people would pick on me for it. It would cross into middle school where it actually got pretty horrible and I attempted suicide. I am still overweight but I have taken strides to at least try and doing something about it.

But that's not the point, I'm crossing into a sophomore in highschool next year and I have not really been able to rid of my depression. Even though I have grown way more of a thicker skin and usually don't take everything serious like I used to. My depression went from low-self esteem to feeling alone. To this day I feel alone yet I have many friends and acquaintances. At this point in my short life I feel I need to just suck it up and get over what ever this it but...I just cant. I hate the person I look at in the mirror and I'm tired of this self-loathing . The way I'm going, I will die mentally...

Umm again this is a sensitive subject but I guess my question to all of you is how do you deal with depression? Have you dealt with it? Do you still deal with it? Do you think I'm a kid who just needs to get over it and I'm to young to feel this way? I want to hear any feed back positive or negative :)

Somewhere, someone will always love you. Even if that person ends up being you, yourself. Best of luck.

I bottle that sh!t up....seriously....it's a horrible solution but it's worked kind of well so far...it bubbles out every once in a while but I just end up pushing it back down....I highly recommend that you don't do it that way though and actually find someone to talk to and help you through your issues

Hmmm, I'm in a somewhat similar situation to you. I'm 14 and I developed depression when I was about 11 due to bullying. My parents are from West Africa, and I inherited their accent. Other kids endlessly made fun of me and how I spoke. It made me feel horrible, it made me feel like less of a person, I felt inadequate. I became more sullen and unemotional in attempt to make sure I would never be hurt again. The only time I felt better was when I talked about my feelings with my family and other people. My advice for you would to instead of pushing people away, embrace them. I warn you, trying to combat depression by keeping your pain to yourself will eat away at you slowly until the person you knew doesn't exist anymore. Sometimes, the best help comes from a hug and words from the people you care about. You should also try see a therapist.

@wolverine08:

I have been seeing a therapist for the past month now... I have more than just one issue unfortunately but overall loneliness is my main reason. However thank you for the feed back :)

You can see a psychiatrist. I see one once a month for depression and anxiety. Therapy and medicine can help.

also I know it sounds cliche but high school kids suck...if you can just put up with them until you graduate you'll find that people in the real world are a heck of a lot better

Not, all kids are that way I have found genuine good friends and people. But thanks for the feedback

Indeed, I have been seeing one for over a month now.

never dealt with anything like that, but whenever I felt I didn't like some part of me, I tried to change myself, to improve myself
that's the way I see things.
unless it's something that doesn't bother me, only others. then I don't really care because it's something I like
I will improve myself and become better and do what makes me happy, because it's what I want, not because I'm forced by others.

as I said, I dont know how to deal with depression or anything of sorts, but if you feel negatively about something in your life, change it. it might be hard, or it might be damn near impossible but you have to try to change it, you're the only one who has that power, to lead your life.
you'll see eventually that if you do improve certain things, even if small in size or importance, overall everything gets better and it's also easier to improve and become better in other aspects. be the person you wanna be and most important be happy - do what makes you happy, fight for it and when you achieve it, you'll feel great

Yeah, to be honest, I've always been semi-depressed, feeling low self esteem and a little bit alone. This is because my mom insults me to no end. I can't come to her for trouble because she gets angry and somehow blames my situation on me. She loves me, no doubt; however, she truly feels disappointed in me. And that hurts me a lot. Now before you say that she's just upset and just saying this stuff, it's not like that. I've heard my mom pray to God to give me some kind of usefulness. She constantly tells me that I have no talent and literally begs that I be like her friend's kids: obedient and talented. Every time I show her something that I achieved, she tells that I have achieved nothing compared to my friends. I mean no arrogance, but I am probably one of the most patient and kind guys. But she complains that I am probably the worst child ever-a delinquent. I never get in trouble or even do anything bad but she gets upset that I'm not as "good" as my friends. My dad doesn't live with us anymore so I'm stuck with my mom, who I can't talk to about my problems. When I tell her that she hurts me and that she should support me, she yells at me for disrespecting her and telling her what to do. She's angry because she thinks that I can't make it to any college, even though I had a 4.2 GPA in my Junior year. Her high expectations makes her genuinely disappointed. When your own mother feels that way, then I don't know...

@batmannflash:

Wow bro, that's awful. You are a kind and magnanimous man from what you have taken from your mother. But bro, you have to speak up, and ask to be respected. Your mother degrading you by calling you useless is disgusting, and you shouldn't take stuff like that.

I agree, I try going that route but I always seem to fail and fall into almost a "pit". I don't wanna say I'm a failure but...I just have no answer

I'm sorry man. I've been told people go through worse situations which is cliches but we all go through something. Unfortunately it's just been pretty bad. I sympathize with you man I hope it gets better.

I've had fits of depression, but nothing serious, so I can't give you much advice, just surround yourself with loved ones who'll show you life isn't all bad.

@batmannflash: I had the same problem,bro.My mom saw no use on me,she called me lazy and made me study more than I should,I mean,school/private classes/study at home/sleep was my routine.

Do you know how I acted?I did everything she wanted,I was obedient,studied a lot and finally stopped to complain.She realised something was going on,I was sad,depressive,I didn't talked to anyone but my friends and family,so she felt sorry and started to actually spend quality time with me,learned about my problems.That's how she started acting like a true mother,now she doesn't even scream at me.I know it is a hard path,but it is a necessary one.

@wolverine08: You don't know how many times I've tried to sit down with my mom and ask for respect. She just doesn't listen. She brags about how hard she works to raise us, which is true, but she doesn't touch on the low levels of encouragement and support. A homeless shelter provides food. An orphanage provides shelter. What's truly special about a mom is that unconditional love and support, which she fails to give me. At least I understand where she's coming from. She was highly successful when she was my age and wants to make me as successful as possible. But her words only hurt my potential.

@pro_nelson: yeah I realize that people go through tougher situations than me, and I am incredibly thankful that I only have 1st world problems to deal with, and at least I'm not abused or anything. And my mom truly is a hard working single mother who never rest until we're taken care. She's raised my sister until she went off for college, raised me for 17 years and my other sister for 12. I'm truly grateful, but it's the little things, like support, which I wish I could get from her. Thank you! I hope it gets better for you too.

@demolitionguy: I am obedient and a lot of times I shut up and let her talk. She says that she sees that I'm sad but she tells me it's because I'm ungrateful and lucky to have a mom like her. I have tried multiple times to talk to her and spent time with her, but every time, she just ends up yelling at me for something. When she doesn't have anything left to say, she starts listing my failures of my life, even mentioning stuff I did when I was 7. It is a hard path, but one day it'll be over. Thanks for the encouragement

@batmannflash:

It sounds like your mother is an overachiever (no offense), and she has a vision of you as some uber successful person, and because she seems to think that you aren't on the path to becoming that influential, powerful person, she belittles and insults you in an attempt to make you reach your potential. She has good intentions, but what she is doing is wrong. I recommend you two go to a family therapist and talk about the problesms you two face

@pro_nelson: I get that. we have a saying here that it goes something like this: "soft water on hard rock, will keep hitting until it breaks through" - so, even if you think your past attempts have failed, that only means you are closer to achieving something eventually. every failure is a lesson on how to do better next time. Keep on fighting, everyone has hidden potential just waiting to be unlocked, that's our human nature and as humans we are special! never give up, you'll make it!

I say we beat depression by fighting crime. We agree on a city and team name. Strength in numbers.

Hell yea!

@wolverine08: No offense taken. It's true that she is an overachiever, while I've always been a laid back underachiever. And your analysis of her is accurate. She won't let me talk to anyone about this and she won't either because she's embarrassed that I'm not like her friends' children. She won't talk with me about this to anyone else (even a therapist) because she is positive that it's my fault and she has done nothing wrong. She is incredibly stubborn and both of us are headstrong which means she has no intentions on changing because she sees nothing to change about her.

@jorgevy: Thank you man I appreciate it :)

@batmannflash: Man, I'm really sorry to hear this. I think you should atleast try to have her and you come to a reasonable understanding.

@batmannflash:

Keep being laid back bro. Life is too short to stress over trying to be perfect, and always trying to be the best, most successful person in the room. You just got to do what makes you feel content with your life. And if your mom doesn't like that, you'll just have to accept that, and continue forging your own way in life.

@pro_nelson: WELL 1 IF I EVA NEED SOMEONE TO TALK IM AM A FUN PERSON AN CAN CHEER MOST PEOPLE UP OK OK SO U KNOW HOW TO PM OK

2 WoW your young to be dealing with depression but your depression looks to mostly steam from your self image

An if anything ready this you are the only peraon that can change that self image. Weather it be mentally or physically your the only one that can do it. An if you want to physically it doesnt have to be done all at once. Talk a walk every day an increase the length every month. Make every Wednesday your jog day an push your self.

But depression can be dangerous an something you need to find a solution for.

But theres people always here if ya wanna talk i guess HAVE A NICE VERY EARLY MORNING GO TO SLEEP UNLESS YOUR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD THEN IN THAT CASE GET UP

@batmannflash: Good luck,my friend.I hope you become a world famous (insert your proffesion here) so she'll look back at her mistakes and seek for redemption.

@pro_nelson: I have hope that things will end well. Blue Lantern Barry Allen taught me to have hope haha. When my big sister left for college, my mom called her and emailed her for all the wrong she has done. Now, this time, it wasn't my mom's problem. Sure, my mom treated my sister the same way she treats me, but my big sister made the mistake of not forgiving her. She didn't respond and now she's living with her fiancee in Seattle, with minimal communication with her. I hope to not make that mistake and seize my chance when she opens up.

@demolitionguy: Thank you!

@wolverine08: thanks for that really good advice, man! Yeah I'm just going to keep doing whatever I do, despite the troubles.

This thread is beautiful. No debating or bickering, just human beings sharing empathy and compassion for one another. Why can't we always be like this?

I just felt compelled to post this.

@wolverine08: lol DMX...

@batmannflash: THAT IS HORRIBLE OF.YOUR MOTHER *o*

It seems to me that maybe she hasnt got the life the dreamed of having or.her life does compare to her friends so she constantly like to point out the things she deems wrong in her life. My mother love to put blame on me omg she will go an blame anything she can on me an act like she always right. My mom a down right stuck up b!tch LoL i mean yes shes raised me an done a lot but yea shes a b!tch lol

BUT IIIII CAN SAY IN MY HEAD I DONT GIVE A F@CK IM GOING TO PLAY MY PS3 OR GET ON COMICVINE LOL

@wolverine08: Because there are BUM BUM HOLES on this site but what would a debate be without a couple

@magnificentstorm: LOL yeah the best thing you can do is just talk to her, and if that doesn't work ignore it. What I do when I'm frustrated: sing, play piano, play guitar, or surf the web

@batmannflash: Oh my talking dont work with mine lol so exactly over the years ive learned to just ignore it not to get confused with bottling it up which no one should do. I just totally ignore it AN COOOOL I LOVE THE PIANO AN U PLAY GUITAR OMG THAT SOOOOO COOOOL

@magnificentstorm: yeah piano is awesome. music in general is awesome and soothing for the bad emotions. I...sort of play guitar haha. I've been trying to teach myself for the last couple years (not easy at all!) and only just recently I've been able to play guitar and lead sing for church

@batmannflash:

Oh jeez, DMX went off!

@batmannflash: Music is awesome i love upbeat music mostly but i could listen to just about any genre just about lol.

An lol what you taught your self crazy only guitar im good at playing is the paper jams one LOL XD way easier

An wow that really cool lead singer to your like a church celebrity

Well, first thing first, make sure you have depression. Sometimes depression can be a symptom for a more serious underlying condition.

For example, for me, it was actually Bipolar disorder.

I used to cut myself, self medicate and drink a lot. I would not go to school and instead spent my day wandering the town and doing nothing.

There were days I wouldn't get out of bed and wouldn't eat.

Life was a constant roller coaster ride from one day to the next.

I would say that you really need to confide with your psychiatrist for one. They really need to know what your mental state is. There is really no point in lying to them because they are there to help. Lying or leaving out information can mess with their analysis of you. I spent a long time evading my problem and only recently did I get help for it.

Hopefully, you can find a way to manage your problems and move on with your life. I won't lie to you, it will always be in your life, but it's up to you to rise above it.

@magnificentstorm: haha nothing to brag about, i'm a noob at guitar. and if i remember correctly, i only volunteered to sing, so talent involved to lead!

Ya Im border line depressed. My parents genuinely like my siblings more thaan me. Im fifteen my grades were good but not great the teachers constantly called me a genius and told them I should apply myself more. But I do really well on test and I go home and show them they especially my mom say they`re proud of me call me smart then I go in my room that's the end. My older sister gets a good score and everyone celebrates. When we go to a family members house like my aunts. They brag about her all day long, then they brag about there kids and bck to my sister. Then my aunt ask me " so what about you" I tell her she says " o ok thats good" " so Nia ( my sister ). I just sit there and watch. Then when we go somewhere My Dad always says "You better not say nothing stupid or get in here and show your but out" even though my behavior is flawless and never got a whooping in years. Then when my dad goes to see his friends and family he talks on and on about my two brothers and sisters. Especially my older brother well oldest brother. He then says about me " I he's keeping his grades up". That's it. When we have family time we laugh make fun of each other have fun. Then my mom, sister, or dad says something. They pause I try to add on to it and they talk over me. I ask a question when no ones talking and they ignore me literally I I'm not joking. Then I get mad and I go on my phone or psp then they say come on were having family time. Then I say well you guys ignore me. Then it's all "there you go it's always about you can't never be satisfied" and all that noise. Then I try to add on to a joke or make one or.jpeg be plain funny they go "you always ruining something learn to sit there and be quiet". But Someone elses joke is so hilarious. I mean they love me and get me things but the pony time they're loving to me is when I get my mom or dad one on one or both of them and just me. It's like they need to impress my sister by being cold to me. Like when I talk back my dads all " don't talk to me and your mother like that. You better fix your attitude and apologize before I get up and slap you" lol something like that he only slaps me when I say something really bad. But that only happened once lol another time perhaps. But anyway when she talks bck they just sit there and I speak up and say that's disrespectful don't talk to them like that and it back fires on me and I get yelled at. I know my problems are meager to others who commented on here but ya I just felt like sharing cause I feel as though my parent will never love me as much as they do my ducklings. and if I made any mistakes it's cause I'm on my phone.

@batmannflash: LoL still better than me XD. An well your a celebrity volunteer

@ultrastarkiller: I feel sorry for you bro. You can't let the depression eat away at you and change the person you are.

@wolverine08: Thanks man. And I mean I still have fun with my dad and mom just when others are around I get really down. They treat me different when others are around and in comparison to my siblings. But you know I'm still super awesome.

@pro_nelson:

Everyone has been wonderful on this thread and has given you some good advice. What's important is that you share how you are feeling with as much people as you can -- not that everyone will be able to help you and most won't really know what to say except wish you luck but that's good. Think of it as throwing out a big fishnet -- the wider and larger the net, the more you know there are people in your life that matter -- they matter to you and you matter to them and also, in recognizing you have unexplained sadness, you recognize you need help. The more people who are aware of this, the more safer you are making yourself. On top of all those benefits, your courage in talking about it can (and most likely) will inspire someone else to open up and then you will be part of their cast net. No one should feel alone -- it's an awful feeling. Plus, fifteen is a hard age, there is so much going on plus the future feels like its coming hard and fast, and yet, so far away.

Sounds like you have a loving, supportive family and circle of friends. It's wonderful you are seeing someone and you seem to be an extremely intelligent and self-aware person. Clearly you have a lot to offer the world and I am positive things will get better for you. Someone who likes comic books is already an extra-ordinarily awesome human being with great taste in hobbies. :)

@wolverine08:

How awesome are you? Only fourteen and you have that level of clarity? Good on you for pushing past that terrible time in your life -- I'm sorry you were subjected to such ignorance and meanness. Plus, you like Wolverine -- that's like the cherry on top.

@batmannflash:

It sounds like your family has been through quite a lot. Not having your father around and your sister shutting herself off from your mother (and you seeing the effect it has on your mother) must be so difficult - especially since you are now the oldest and you have your little sister who is trying to sift through all this herself. I think you understanding where your mother is coming from is commendable -- recognizing how hard she works for all of you and knowing she believes everything she does is for your own sake speaks volumes of how great you are as a son. It sounds to me like you are aware your mother is wrong for taking such a strong position with you - in her mind, listing faults and not mentioning the good must be so disheartening since you love her so much and want to make her happy. I do hope you realize it's not your job to make her happy -- she is who she is and you are who you are. Acknowledging a person's faults doesn't take anything away from how much you love and respect them and perhaps in your instance, you can work on acknowledging more (as you did earlier in your first post about your grade point average) of your good qualities and try to soften the blows of her harsh words and criticisms as something not so much about you, but about herself.

Please don't take offense at what I've said -- my heart breaks for you because of the responsibility you seem to be bearing. It's good that you have outlets of which you can escape -- and although it's painful for you, the empathy you have for your mother is an extraordinary thing. She is incredibly lucky to have you as a son and I am sure she knows it.

@ultrastarkiller:

You must have a large family -- you mentioned sisters and brothers (as in, both plural) so things have got to be crazy in your house. :) Must be hard to get one on one time with your parents (although clearly it's great when you do) yet with a large family comes a lot of love which you shared with us happens to be a lot. What I've noticed with a few friends of mine who come from large families like yours, they sometimes feel ignored and passed over a lot -- they say the same things you do to an extent -- mentioning things like their siblings getting a lot of praise from their parents -- even the part about praising them to other people. That has to hurt a lot. One of them did manage to get some comfort - her mom told her that she was so confident and self-assured -- she had no idea her daughter felt the way she did, something along the lines of just assuming she was the kid they didn't have to worry about. I'm not saying that's what is happening in your case but your did mention hardly ever getting in trouble and usually being quiet and well behaved. Whether they tell you or not, I am sure your parents appreciate that -- imagine if you weren't? You'd get attention alright, but not the good kind. Plus, your parents have gotten so used to not having to worry about you that they've come to rely on that peace of mind so when you act up (which is rare) they come down hard on you which I agree is unfair considering how good you are most of the time.

You mentioned you're pretty awesome -- lol -- so you pretty much have that confidence my friend has as well so maybe there is a little bit of her situation in yours as well. If not, well, there could be something in play you aren't aware of now that you will be later (again, like my friend) which made it not okay, but at least better because you can understand their behaviour. Still though -- seriously -- big family. O_0

@omgomgwtfwtf:

Good for you for managing to get yourself diagnosed and on the path to wellness. You've been through some pretty rough times -- self medicating (let along cutting yourself and abusing alcohol) is scary stuff and something not easy to recover from. Good advice for anyone seeking help -- so, so important to be as open and honest as your can with a professional so you can receive the proper treatment and get to a place where you can function and feel okay. I appreciate you sharing your story -- it's a harsh condition to deal with.

Erm, yeah what he said. I wouldn't recommend this either. there is always someone there to talk to, especially when it seems like there isn't, someone will listen you just have to look.

Best way to deal with depression?

I don't know. I'm still dealing with it to an extent. It's natural for me to bury myself in stuff to get away from it. As of recent it's been comics. If I could give any advice on a permanent road to recovery, it's keep good people around you. Knowing someone cares is the most reassuring thing. Don't sit around thinking of things to say then going "ah what's the point, it won't change anything" because it will. Just telling someone in person, whether it be friend or family member, helps a tremendous amount, and makes your problem seem a lot smaller once it's out of your system.

Aside from doing that, exercise. It's actually meant to be one of the best combatants of depression out there. Makes sense because when I used to do boxing my self esteem was great. Now, not so much.

@lykopis:

Thank you! I appreciate your sincere benevolence.