There is something I feel I need to get off of my chest…
First off, I am a young woman. Almost 23 now. I am single, and happily so. I have no children and no romantic prospect in my life at this time. I am hilariously unprepared and unready for such things. I want a career. I want my own life, at least for a few years. This past year especially…
I feel as though I’m surrounded by young mothers, young families and young children. Many of my friends (actually... all but one of my friends) and people of my generation in general have started families of their own.
Now, getting to my story…
Over the last couple of years, this is what has been happening:
I meet up with a friend, I go to work, I run into an old acquaintance from high school perhaps…
Well, someone brings their kid… And this I probably wouldn’t mind… If this didn’t happen:
“You’re a young woman, you must just be aching to hold this baby!”
or “Now don’t you get caught up in baby fever now!”
or “I bet you just can’t wait to did your claws into some man and make a little bundle of joy for yourself!”
And of course, “When are you gonna find some guy to tie down and get your life started?”
Well first off, I can wait. That’s not the life I want right now… Second, why is it that because I’m a lady that it’s automatically assumed I MUST just NEED a baby? Or a man even? Third.... I've been alive for nearly 23 years. I think it's safe to say my life has started. I don't need a man and babies to have a life.
This is something I am getting increasingly tired of. It’s an old way of thinking that, to me, feels outdated and it doesn’t interest me.
I will admit that there was a time when I really wanted to start a family and follow that path. But over time I came to realize that's not for me. At least not yet.
And the best part… When I try to explain this to the people that say such things to me… To explain that their life just isn’t for me… One of two responses occurs. It’s always either complete bewilderment, like I just shattered everything they’ve ever believed in… Or it’s anger. A “how dare you not follow what I believe is the proper way for you!” and often they try to argue me over it. Argue that I am wrong because young women are supposed to be the ones to want kids and families and not worry over a career and building a life of their own. That's supposed to be the mans job.
I have also tried the method of just not saying anything, the old “smile and nod” tactic… Doesn’t help any. Often they just continue on and on and I don’t care for that.
That, for now, is my rant… I just really don’t want to deal with this kind of thing anymore… It’s frustrating...
And... reading this back to myself... I sound like a total feminist... HA!
I guess I just want some thoughts on what you guys think.
What plan do you guys have? Career? Family? Just going with it and seeing what happens? Am I alone in this thinking or are there others out there?
Open discussion, but please be respectful.