Beating Your Child=Child Abuse? ( Blog Post)

Now I am sure most of us have had our parents unleash a thing of whup a$$ on you. The thing is some will say that beating your child is child abuse. I personally disagree. My parents used to whup me a lot. Lets just say I was a smarta$$ back in my early days. I never felt the need to call 911 or run out the house and tell someone. Beating your child is an afficent way to teach your kid to not do whatever again. Do you really think that there would be less trouble if kids didn't get whuppings and talked it out instead because to me that's total BS.

This should be on the Off Topic board. And yes beating your child is child abuse. If you beat your spouse or significant other, you would be arrested for spousal abuse. If you were caught beating a dog, you would be arrested for animal abuse. Why would child abuse be any different? Children are people, not property and parents have no right to beat them. How is beating your child preparing them for dealing with problems as an adult? It just sets a bad example and reinforces violent tendencies.

@Katie24 said:

This should be on the Off Topic board. And yes beating your child is child abuse. If you beat your spouse or significant other, you would be arrested for spousal abuse. If you were caught beating a dog, you would be arrested for animal abuse. Why would child abuse be any different? Children are people, not property and parents have no right to beat them. How is beating your child preparing them for dealing with problems as an adult? It just sets a bad example and reinforces violent tendencies.

My father and mother were old school and beat me and my brother and sisters. Well we all work, have our own homes. I have a 3 bedroom house and had it at the age of 26. Soooo yea. Bad kids are bad kids. If your child is going to be a criminal/whatever it'll happen with or without whippings.

there's a difference between "beating" and "corrective paddling".....I'm old school I guess in that I think it's perfectly fine to paddle a kid who has misbehaved

It is never appropriate to lay a hand on a child. Hitting a child is wrong and teaches a child that violence is the way to solve your problems.

Beating Your Child=Child Abuse?

I believe in spanking your child, but not down right beating them. Spanking is to teach your children that when they do something wrong there is a punishment, it's a teaching tool that teaches children to do the right thing and to avoid doing something wrong, like for example a sibling hitting their brother or sister, or stealing something, or telling a lie. It's the same as if you break the law where the punishment is that you go to jail. It's the punishment that causes you to not want to break the law, because you don't want to go to jail. Spanking is simply a tool to teach children to not do bad things.
 
I do agree that talking is great for certain situation, but a child can ignore words where on the other hand it's hard to ignore having a sore bottom after your father's given you a few licks with his belt.

Beating=Abuse. There's a significant difference between beating and spanking. I was spanked when I was bad, and I respect my parents and don't do bad things so often. I see so many kids nowadays that disrespect their parents and act like they own the world. They turn into douche bags and end up with not to great a life. I can tell when people weren't spanked. Now, if someone can be a good person without ever needing to be spanked that's great. That's one of those few really good people. Now and then a brat needs a good spanking. You don't beat them or anything because that teaches extreme violence, and usually the kid won't learn his lesson. There's also senseless beating where a parent is mad about something and takes it out on the kid or they're just a drunk or a bad person. This is beating and is never good. When a kid is spanked they need to deserve it and they need to understand why it is happening.

the problem is the use of words. Beating is bad but a little spank in the butt is one of the most efficient manners of dealing with rules and morals when they are younger due to their psychologies not being able to understand and differentiate right or wrong just yet and punishments being unneffiecient because of that.

I still think punishments/grounding and overall diplomacy is better, but sometimes you need a bit of spanking in the butt (lol). I had it when I was younger and it's perfectly fine, it barely hurts, it doesn't harm and as I said it's the best option in our younger days because we will only have the mental processes to understand a punishment or a grounding developed when we hit 4/5 years. Until then we don't so we need another way of showing right or wrong, an instinctive way. If my parents spank me in the butt when I do this, I better not do it because spanking is not pleasant. If they reward me when i do this I should do this instead. It's primitive education but that's the point; children are yet very primitive and instinctive in their early years.

now, spanking when they are bigger, like 6 years and up, doesnt seem acceptable at all. They are perfectly capable of understanding stuff and handle situations with diplomacy and talking

When I'm a parent, I'm going another route. Instead of beating my kids I'm going to buy a large tank, paint it black and tell them I bought vampire ghosts. I'll pay a child actor to pretend to steal my rake and I'll throw him in the tank never to be seen again. From that point, putting their hands in the tank slowly will not only make them productive members of society, but vampire ghosts will kill them if they mess up.

It's totally wrong. My parents have never hit me. Well, except the occasional soft slap on the shoulder when I'm being an idiot, but my mom still does that and I'm 21 now.

Beating a child is definitely abuse.

However a good smack when they are about to do something get themselves hurt isn't. I got smacked a few times by my folks but it was always because I was doing something retarded. How do you stop a kid running into a busy street or playing with knives? It did the trick for me and i'd prefer to have endured a few smacks than have been hit by a car or have accidently sliced one of my fingers off.

I do not condone it,I consider it abuse.

Spanking and corporal punishment have been around for likely as long as we have been here as a human race. Look around. Watch the news. Read the news. Does it look like it is working?

This should be on the Off Topic board. And yes beating your child is child abuse. If you beat your spouse or significant other, you would be arrested for spousal abuse. If you were caught beating a dog, you would be arrested for animal abuse. Why would child abuse be any different? Children are people, not property and parents have no right to beat them. How is beating your child preparing them for dealing with problems as an adult? It just sets a bad example and reinforces violent tendencies.

@Strider92 said:

Beating a child is definitely abuse.

However a good smack when they are about to do something get themselves hurt isn't. I got smacked a few times by my folks but it was always because I was doing something retarded. How do you stop a kid running into a busy street or playing with knives? It did the trick for me and i'd prefer to have endured a few smacks than have been hit by a car or have accidently sliced one of my fingers off.

This. An occasional smack if the child is acting up, not a beating.

@Katie24 said:

This should be on the Off Topic board. And yes beating your child is child abuse. If you beat your spouse or significant other, you would be arrested for spousal abuse. If you were caught beating a dog, you would be arrested for animal abuse. Why would child abuse be any different? Children are people, not property and parents have no right to beat them. How is beating your child preparing them for dealing with problems as an adult? It just sets a bad example and reinforces violent tendencies.

It is. It's just one of those things that people tend to ignore because they believe it's helpful.

I spank my kids.

@sesquipedalophobe said:

When I'm a parent, I'm going another route. Instead of beating my kids I'm going to buy a large tank, paint it black and tell them I bought vampire ghosts. I'll pay a child actor to pretend to steal my rake and I'll throw him in the tank never to be seen again. From that point, putting their hands in the tank slowly will not only make them productive members of society, but vampire ghosts will kill them if they mess up.

Terrible, but hilarious.

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

@moywar700: It's what happened with some comic characters. Look at Flash Thompson, hit Peter cause his dad hit him.

I think it really depends on how you do it. My dad is an old school Jamaican would give me a few slaps on the palm of my hands with the belt but that was rarely if ever and I am a very passive person. There are parents who punch and really harm there children. In hindsight the slapss weren't even hard. It was more the fear and the guilt that I may have felt for cooking when i was 3 or finger painting on the living room table... I really don't think there is anything wrong to a certain extent.

@cyberninja said:

@menaceforever said:

Beating Your Child=Child Abuse?

Wow, that's one hell of deductive reasoning you got there.

Someone needs to make a "FUNNIEST THREAD NAME" list thread so we can put this on it.

My dad never hit me. My mom hit me and used foul language referring to me and my siblings. Guess what? I still have that itch about her hitting me and using such language to this day.

I remember everything my dad taught me. Mom? I barely listen to her unless what she tells m makes too much sense to pass.

Dont hit your child. If he is drifting then you're doing something wrong. Fix it! One of parents' biggest mistake is saying these words: "I dont care" You are saying that you dont care about your child's opinion. So when she is ready to do something she wont ask if its right or wrong because YOU DONT CARE.

I respected my dad.

He said: Drugs are bad. I never did drugs

He didnt want me drinking I dont drink

He didnt want me smoking I dont smoke.

And pay attention to what Im writing next: Hes been dead for 9 years and to this day I still don't do those things. That is respect and good parenting.

@InnerVenom123 said:

@cyberninja said:

@menaceforever said:

Beating Your Child=Child Abuse?

Wow, that's one hell of deductive reasoning you got there.

Someone needs to make a "FUNNIEST THREAD NAME" list thread so we can put this on it.

This.

But also, beating = punching, or throwing into a wall, or something similar/way worse. I've only had that sort of crap happen a couple times. Now the shoe's on the other foot, I occasionally hurt my dad when I'm not even trying, because he's old and I'm much stronger now (weight training ftw). I wasn't "beaten", my Dad was just a tard sometimes. He still is, but of course now it's verbal or financial retardation. Moving on. It's never okay to hit your child in these ways. It is never okay to beat a child. It is okay to spank or slap them. Slapping only if they've really done something wrong. Spanking if they've disobeyed a rule or done something less dramatic wrong. Anything more and you risk giving them bad tendencies. Not always, but it's there. Not only that, you teach them to dislike you, and you can possibly injure them for the rest of their life, or in my case, occasionally cringe when someone raises a hand, even though they have no intention of hitting you. It's just a bad friggin' idea.

I hope everyone knows that when I say beat it mean whippings to me. Sorry for any confusion.

@menaceforever: Whippings like... What? Spanking with a wooden spoon or something? That's fine. A belt is bad because it's too personal, it's something your father owns, wears, always uses; it's virtually the same as being smacked in the face over and over.

@GBandit said:

My dad never hit me. My mom hit me and used foul language referring to me and my siblings. Guess what? I still have that itch about her hitting me and using such language to this day.

I remember everything my dad taught me. Mom? I barely listen to her unless what she tells m makes too much sense to pass.

Dont hit your child. If he is drifting then you're doing something wrong. Fix it! One of parents' biggest mistake is saying these words: "I dont care" You are saying that you dont care about your child's opinion. So when she is ready to do something she wont ask if its right or wrong because YOU DONT CARE.

I respected my dad.

He said: Drugs are bad. I never did drugs

He didnt want me drinking I dont drink

He didnt want me smoking I dont smoke.

And pay attention to what Im writing next: Hes been dead for 9 years and to this day I still don't do those things. That is respect and good parenting.

To add to this I'll try my best not to be reckless and to find an adequate mother if I ever chose to have a child. I dont think I can stand for a woman beating my kid even if its half hers too. The child will have loving parents who will teach him/her about self respect and respecting others.

@GBandit: Might want to also find a woman that makes yourself happy XD the way you phrased that makes it sound like you're planning to be alone, but find someone you think will make a good parent and have a kid with them for that lol.

Also, because it shouldn't have been a PM..

So yeah. Belts are a bad idea, probably, like I said.

How do you do that.

My mom only slapped me on the butt a few times when I was a kid, but that was it.

Seems like people that weren't hit/spanked as a kid (nothing too physically abusing of course) thinks it's bad/terrible and people that took it as a kid thinks it's okay in certain situations. My parents were immigrants and looking at my grandma from at least my mom's side she taught them it was okay to at least put the fear of god into us. At most it was taking out a wire hanger and hitting us and at least it was a threat with said wire hanger. It should be said none were alcoholics. Looking back, thinking of how badly that scared us (my cousins and sister) is pretty damn funny but I don't believe it left any lasting damage on us.

Different problems call for different solutions. Sometimes time out is needed. Sometimes a good talking too. sometimes a slap in the mouth. sometimes a paddling. A child may not understand why we say do this or don't do that. If they understood everything THEY WOULDN'T NEED US. Sometimes we simply need them to obey. and physical punishment works wonders in getting someone to comply

@Katie24 said:

This should be on the Off Topic board. And yes beating your child is child abuse. If you beat your spouse or significant other, you would be arrested for spousal abuse. If you were caught beating a dog, you would be arrested for animal abuse. Why would child abuse be any different? Children are people, not property and parents have no right to beat them. How is beating your child preparing them for dealing with problems as an adult? It just sets a bad example and reinforces violent tendencies.

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

Of course not, but all the children in my family were raised the same way. Kids can take it.

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

Of course not, but all the children in my family were raised the same way. Kids can take it.

You ignored my point.You and a selective few don't represent all small children.

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

Of course not, but all the children in my family were raised the same way. Kids can take it.

You ignored my point.You and a selective few don't represent all small children.

Ok then, well can you provide something better? Maybe a few links that validate what you are saying?

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

Of course not, but all the children in my family were raised the same way. Kids can take it.

You ignored my point.You and a selective few don't represent all small children.

Ok then, well can you provide something better? Maybe a few links that validate what you are saying?

I don't need to. We should all treat each other with love and respect.I don't need to provide a link for that.

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

@moywar700 said:

Children copy everything their parents do.If a child gets abused at or screamed at. Chances are they will treat their peers like this too.This is why I dislike parents who hit their children with extension cords or with a belt.

False. I was hit with the belt and screamed at constantly when I did something wrong as a kid. I'm not like that at all. I'm actually pretty passive and am a huge pushover.

There are people who go overboard with it though, but my parents weren't those type of people. Only hit me hard enough to let me know that I had done wrong. I see kids walking around cursing and hitting their parents because they are too scared to discipline their children. It's horrible.

you don't represent all small children.

Of course not, but all the children in my family were raised the same way. Kids can take it.

You ignored my point.You and a selective few don't represent all small children.

Ok then, well can you provide something better? Maybe a few links that validate what you are saying?

I don't need to. We should all treat each other with love and respect.I don't need to provide a link for that.

...... Yeah, i'm just going to leave know. Have fun with that "We Should" stuff.

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

...... Yeah, i'm just going to leave know. Have fun with that "We Should" stuff.

Yes, I know I came off as preachy right now..

Where I come from, when we did bad things, we got the belt. For a while. Then a new female moved into our home, and she had no self-control, or something. Because she got angry, and she would go to town on our asses, and our backs, and our heads. To the point where she would grab whatever she could find, and sometimes she hit us until things broke. Now, there's no doubt in my mind I'm probably messed up in some way, and I'm sure she had something to do with that. I'm not going to sit here and presume to say "If you hit your child on the but with a belt, you're a bad parent and deserve to go to jail," or "if you don't believe in whupping your kids, you're soft and your kids will walk all over you," but when you say "beat," the mind tends to go toward the "shoes, pots and pans, broom stick, and any other thing he/she can find" thing. At least, that's where my mind goes. Your phrasing could be so much better, but even still, people will disagree about this crap until the day we all die. And even if they didn't and suddenly the world stopped believing in physical discipline, or everyone started believing in it, there would still be murder, rape, robbery, general violence, people being seriously messed up in the head, and behaviour that warrants punishment.

i was spanked or 'cracked' as it was referred to in my house and i turned out pretty ok except the times when me and a parent would get into a argument which would make my mother cry and kick me out of the house for a while until i 'cooled down'. and that still happens from time to time only its with my mom now since dad passed away.

i came from a line of disciplinarians, everytime i visited my grandmother she would remind you that if you stepped out of line she would get out the yard stick and beat you with it. she would also beat whichever grandkid [there were 19 of us, with me toward the youngest] was in her line of sight too just to remind you that she doesnt mess around. you didnt know where it came from, all you felt was a 'whack' on your behind.

now as i often babysit my sisters kids, i spank them to show i wont stand for any b/s. but thats AFTER i give them a stern talking to in private and give them a time out in the corner. first ill talk to them, then if they persist its off to the corner for a time out. and if they dont learn by then then they get my hand on their behinds. sure theyll cry, and id feel guilty but they have to learn that there are rules and they have to be followed or stuff like just happened will endure.

but i do NOT consider it abuse

There is a fine line between physical abuse and physically discipline.

When I misbehaved as a kid I was told to go into the woods pick out a stick or limb and bring it back to be spanked with...should have seen the termite infested pieces or rotting wood I would bring back.

beating your kid is bad. but a corrective spanking or a smack over the head isnt a bad thing. its there to show that there are consequences to what you do and to not do it again. seriously the last 5 generations of kids have been a bunch douche bags that yell abuse at the first sight of a raised hand. (im going to sound like an old fart now and im only 22) when i was growing up when i did something bad, lets said break a window with my ball, id get a smack over the head and clean it up. and didnt complain because if i complained id get another smack over the head and get a talking to about giving me a real reason to cry about. so yeah if your kid makes a scene because you didnt want to get him the newest games spank that ass and next time hell think twice about it.

My mom whupped me and I turned out fine, so I'm for it. d^_^b