Disclaimer: This is in no way a parody thread. Recently there have been more than a few relationship/dating and even gay mix up type threads popping up. This sh*t actually happened. I could not make this up. Let's begin...
So.. I started working at my local Zoo recently, in the gift shop. Things have been going pretty well, I've settled in now. I know everyone in my department pretty well now but I hadn't spoken to anyone from reception (which is a pretty big department).
My colleague Sally (about 28-30, short blonde, probably delusional) comes up to me one day and says "Cameron, I hear there are a couple of admirerssss at reception!"
"That's.. interesting. Who?"
"Two girls with long brown hair, both 16 like you!"
So following my alpha male instincts I scope out the reception - and there they were. Two pretty alright looking girls, around my age by the looks of it, with long brown hair. "I could do worse" the young lion thinks.
Anyway.. I let this sort of linger for a couple of days because I still had no real clue who Sally was talking about exactly, or if they were in fact admirers. No need to stick my foot in, right? Then, I'm talking to my friend Emily who had started working there the same time as me. I tell her about what Sally told me. She says "Oh, I think I spoke to one of them on Facebook. She's called Tiffany. She's one year older than you. She was asking if you were coming to the Zoo Night."
The "Zoo Night" is a night for adults to come to the Zoo and have a few drinks. It's also an excuse for staff to get sh*tfaced. At this point I was fairly certain this Tiffany was one of the "admirers". She fitted Sally's description and seemed to be interested in my attendance of this sh*tfacing event.
I look her up on Facebook and what do you know, she's pretty hot. Seemed nice enough. I add her and tell her I'm from the gift shop, and that I just thought I'd say hi. We get talking, just general crap, and things are going swimmingly. She even invites me to a work night out at a place called "Tron" with all the guys at reception.
New job and I've potentially landed a new girl in the space of like three weeks.
We're still PMing by the next day. I ask her at like 2pm if she's on her break. She is. I ask if she wants to go for a walk. She does. Meet me at the Meerkats she says. "Okaydoke!" the young lion replies.
So turns out she's even hotter in person. She had pretty good chat on top of that. Plenty of laughs. A good 20 minutes. I go back to my shift grinning like a little f*cker.
We continue PMing every few hours after work. She even gets me talking to one of the other guys from reception!
"Great!" I'm thinking.
....and then this happens :) !
...
Alright. These things happen. A bit of miscommunication here and there, one thing leads to another, and then the truth spills. Happens to all of us. If only I was f*cking done.
Here's what happens next:
Have I got a what?
...
Bitch I was on my Drake sh*t with my eyes on you. Why the f*ck do you think I asked you to go for a "walk"?
Wait a f*cking minute...
.......
Oh... f*ck
You guys remember Jack, the other receptionist,from earlier, right? Jack who "wanted me to text him"? Who is sitting texting me right now?
JACK IS F*CKING GAY, AND HE LIKES ME, AND THE F*CKING GIRL WHO I LIKED IS TRYING TO MATCH ME UP WITH HIM. WHAT KIND OF SICK F*CKING LOVE TRIANGLE DO YOU CALL THAT?
Typical.
Fucking. Typical.
Log in to comment