A Rant About Beer

SumoSlamMan

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Edited By SumoSlamMan

I've suddenly decided I dislike the term "microbrew." When I think "microbrew" I think snobbery, hipster, tight jeans, and young artsy white people. I want to enjoy my beer. I don't want to punch every mustachioed person I see in the face because they're trying to impress me, and the people around me, with the distinguished yet humble origins of the brewery of their favorite pale ale. F your pale ale. I'm going to break this half full bottle of Molson XXX upside your dumb haircut.

PEACE!

13 years ago

Decoy Elite

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#1 Edited By Decoy Elite

Not a very good rant. It doesn't convey enough anger, plus it's not really about beer. I suggest doing a hipster rant instead.

13 years ago

SumoSlamMan

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#2 Edited By SumoSlamMan

If I did a hipster rant no one would be able to read it. Their eyes would melt before finishing. F*ing hipsters...

13 years ago

Darkseid Elite

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#3 Edited By Darkseid Elite

hmmmm...

13 years ago

Decoy Elite

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#4 Edited By Decoy Elite

@SumoSlamMan said:

" If I did a hipster rant no one would be able to read it. Their eyes would melt before finishing. F*ing hipsters... "

You don't like post modern jerk wads? I wonder why......

13 years ago

sexy_merc

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#5 Edited By sexy_merc

A HYENA WITH LASER BEAMS! HOLY CRUD!

13 years ago

deactivated-asdf987sdf

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#6 Edited By deactivated-asdf987sdf

3/10

13 years ago

Xavier St. Cloud

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#7 Edited By Xavier St. Cloud

Tight Jean... Microbrew... Haircut... Molson XXX... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, FFFFFFFU*KKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Okay when I think rant, it is like this.

She put the Fuc*ing dog in her Fuc*ing where, why is she not in jail? Stupid bit*h, I should put her in the trunk of my car, and forget about her, and see how she likes it... One less stupid Fuc*ing person, but NO, now we have one less cute and fluffy thing walking around on four legs, what is this world comming too, for the love of god! (Notice the importance of the for the love of god.) I wish I could bash her face in with her dead ex mans beast friend, untill hopefully something is corrected in that stupid bleached retarded head of hers, and she starts acting how a 23 year old human walking talking person is supposed to act... I swear to god, when I listen to her talk about Like life and junk, I swear her vocabulary is under 13 words, how manny drugs do you have to do, before you don't even know that cananda is apart of North America? When I think about the way her eyes look when she speeks, the image of a empty room comes to mind, Never in my life has anyone ever irratated me the way she does, even when she is not doing anything, and then there is the fact that she gets drunk and starts shit with people over things that don't even make any sense at all, like this one time when I was playing a game and I commented on how the native people in it reminded me of the native americans, and she dumped a drink on my lap, and yelled at me about not saying bad things about native americans... When did I say anything bad about native americans, I still to this day have no Fuc*ing idea, nore does anyone else who was in the room that night, she is a Fuc*king nightmare, then she cries and starts throwing one of those drunk girl tangents, only she did not drink nearly enough to get away with it... She was like what if I was a native american? I was like your not a native american, and I never said anything bad about native Fu*king americans, I just said the tribe in this game reminds me of them... The whole time I was saying this she was looking like she just didn't get it, like she couldn't understand english at all. She is also the type that wears slutty clothing and then gets in guys faces and calls them a pig when they are checking her out, I mean what the holy hell is wrong with her, is she retarded. Do you think that there is an abundance of retarded people out there who don't know that they are retarded? For christs sake, jeesh.

13 years ago

lagoon_boy

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#8 Edited By lagoon_boy

Man. I almost thought you were gonna rant about the drink of life.

13 years ago

mavfan626

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#9 Edited By mavfan626

13 years ago

N7_Normandy

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#10 Edited By N7_Normandy

@Darkseid Elite said:

" hmmmm... "

13 years ago

danhimself

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#11 Edited By danhimself

so you don't like the term "microbrew" because it makes you think of hipsters? Where did you ever get that association? The few people who I've met who have microbreweries are nothing like what people describe as hipsters. I love microbrews, they're amazing and I have no problem calling them "microbrews" .

13 years ago

MKF30

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#12 Edited By MKF30

Yeah, beer is overrated IMO

13 years ago

Kastiel

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#13 Edited By Kastiel

@MKF30 said:

"
Yeah, beer is overrated IMO
"

13 years ago

Despero is the beginning

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#14 Edited By Despero is the beginning

I love good beer... Troegenator, Ennis & Gunn, Maudite...

13 years ago

SumoSlamMan

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#15 Edited By SumoSlamMan

@danhimself: I think maybe we have a problem with location. Where do you live? Because here in New York, Bedford/Williamsburg area, I have to deal with many hipster turd bags pining over their microbrews. Also, when I think microbrew, I don't mean the beer your friend makes in his basement, if that's what you're talking about. This is more like the smaller breweries, local gigs like the Brooklyn Brewery or Bells in Michigan. Unless you're a hipster yourself, and love chatting the day away about your latest cherry wheat beer, GAH! (Punches nearest tattooed mustached salvation army clothed hipster in the kidney) I love beer. It's my gosh darn ambrosia after a long day of work, but it's the way they talk about it. The snobbery involved... Come to Bedford my friend, we will sail the seas of douche baggery and you will understand.

@Xavier St. Cloud: I have been humbled. Though in all honesty I just thought this bit was kinda funny to write. I bow to your rant.

13 years ago

danhimself

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#16 Edited By danhimself

@SumoSlamMan: I live in Chambersburg, Pa.....and it's anything but basement brew....the name of their brewery is called Roy Pitz Brewing Company....you can check out their website here

13 years ago

Despero is the beginning

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#17 Edited By Despero is the beginning

I was born and raised in NYC mostly Queens (College Point, Corona, Elmhurst, Hollis, Astoria, and Kew Gardens), Bronx (Melrose, Mott Haven, and Hunts Point), and Manhattan(LES) down. I do not know anyone except my boy Royce who talks about the history of their favorite microbrew, and that dude is a serious man. Must be a Brooklyn thing, and maybe a SoHo/West Vill sorta vibe...

13 years ago

SumoSlamMan

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#18 Edited By SumoSlamMan

@Despero is the beginning: No, I think it's an over-educated, lacking actual intelligence, hipster thing. I dunno if you still live in NYC, sounded like you don't, but if you do head over to Williamsburg on the L, first stop out of Manhattan. It's hipster heaven.

13 years ago

InnerVenom123

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#19 Edited By InnerVenom123