10K Post Review: The Phantom Menace Video Game

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Edited By Dragonborn_CT

"The adventure begins"

- Tagline.

I sense you expected something else
I sense you expected something else

The first games that I remember playing as kid were Star Wars games like Rogue Squadron, Battle for Naboo and Shadows of the Empire. All of these were great, memorables games, and the Phantom Menace is not one of them. You might probably be thinking "Wait, there was a Phantom Menace tie-in game?" That is right. Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace is a action-adventure game , despite having the Star Wars license, it wasn't developed by Lucasarts, but instead by Big Ape Entertainment, a rather unknown studio that was apparently picked at random. And BOOOOOOY, does it show!! This game is not just bad, its nothing short of a calamity... It should come to no surprise, of all Star Wars prequels, Phantom Menace is the one that everyone riped it apart the most, followed by Attack of the Clones, I am pretty sure that 97% of people who did that never even heard of the movie-licensed video game. Its that sorta of train wreck that you can't simply take your eyes away from, and even as a kid, I struggled to beat it even though I knew it was bad. What is so awful, yet so mesmerizing at the same time about this game? To celebrate my 10,000 posts, lets find out.

Summary

OPENING SEQUENCE AHOY!
OPENING SEQUENCE AHOY!

The game loosely follows the plot of the movie. If you have not seem Phantom Menace, are you serious? *Sigh* Roll the text crawl.

Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute. (WUT)

Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo. (HUH... OKAY?)

While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events (who cares for congress debates, srsly?), the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict... (nice, lets kick some ass)

Plot

Holy crap! We found David Bowie in Star Wars
Holy crap! We found David Bowie in Star Wars

If you played games based directly in movies, you already know the drill. The game tries condense plot, while still trying to follow it scene by scene, while at the same time expanding on things not present in the movie. Example: there is extended sequence where Obi-Wan has to follow Jar Jar through the jungles, explore Otoh Gungah and escort Queen Amidala to the hangar to escape Naboo.

I guess its a good thing they cut the most boring parts of the movie, but they can deviate from the source material in a certain fashion like that time where Obi-Wan murdered every Gungan man, woman and child in his way to free Jar-Jar Binks. Wait WAT? Did you know you could do that? Just watch this (seriously you can skip this whole review, but just watch these video)

As the video above happily shows, its possible to act in a very un-Jedi manner such as goading the Gungans to attack you, insulting innocent Naboo citizens, flirting with a Twi'Lek Ms. Fanservice, drinking and sharing booze with others and most glaring of all, MURDERING YOUNGLINGSKIDS. DAFUQ? Shouldn't this send Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Kenobi down to the Dark Side laughing all the way through? I mean, its even possible for Padme to kill the Viceroy after he had surrendered in the final battle and Panaka to gun down some hobos in the Coruscant Underworld. You think Obi-Wan would remember that time when he painted the ways of Otoh Gungah with innocent Gunga blood when he confronted Anakin over his slaughter in the Jedi Temple, and realize he is not so different.

I wonder if GL would add that in the special editions to Phantom Menace. After all, my favorite Star Wars movie was ruined by blinking Ewoks and Darth Vader screaming
I wonder if GL would add that in the special editions to Phantom Menace. After all, my favorite Star Wars movie was ruined by blinking Ewoks and Darth Vader screaming "NOOOO!!!"

Its not like you can Kratos and murder the sh*t out of every character on sight. You will get a Game Over if you kill any of the important characters for obvious reasons, like Padme, Boss Nass, Anakin, unfortunately enough Jar Jar Binks and Jabba the Hut and so forth. Hell, you would get a Game Over if you did manage to kill Darth Maul in the Tatooine duel. Speaking of Tatooine, if you cause too much havoc, every character will turn hostile and try to kill you while none of your allies will speak to you leaving the level unable to complete. Endless waves of enemies will come from all sides to kill you much like in Skyrim, and the only way out is loading a early save.

Don't worry... Everybody loses to us
Don't worry... Everybody loses to us

Where in other games, where the consequences of your actions would have weight, be them positive or negative like in the KotoR games, and actions such as the above would cause one being driven to the Dark Side, there is no such thing in Phantom Menace. You can pretty much kill anything, even harmless creatures, always solve your problems with violence and still be considered a good guy. That is up until you turn your lightsaber against plot-critical characters and threaten to break the plot.

Characters

Not even the fact you are playing separate characters in the game does it feel varied.
Not even the fact you are playing separate characters in the game does it feel varied.

You play as four different characters throughout the whole game: Obi-Wan Kenobi during the first 5 levels, Qui-Gon Jin during the following three, Captain Panaka for a single level and Padme Amidala in the last two levels with alternating control with Obi-Wan at several turns. Even then, there isn't exactly much variation between them. All characters can carry the same amount of guns, each have a basic weapon/attack and only the Jedi are able to double jump. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are practically the same character. Other than a different voice, appearence and lightsaber colors, they are played exactly the same way.

Padme and Panaka fare a little better (or worse, depending where you are standing at) as their basic attacks and appearences are obviously different. Padme has a crappy eletrocutioner that has unlimited ammo, but takes forever to kill an enemy, while Panaka fights with hand to hand combat. I it looks cool at first to attack your enemies with Kung Fu, its completely impractical as they deal very little damage.

There are some cheats that allow you to play with any characters that you want during any level. You still keep, but your voice and dialogue options remain the same. If you want, for some reason play as Padme during Obi-Wan's levels, you still have his voice coming out of his mouth and has the option of performing the mind trick.

Gameplay

OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---

The gameplay suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. This whole game sucks but the gameplay is one of the biggest reasons why. Oh God I don't even know where to start... First off, the combat is a joke; playing as Jedi has you flailing your lightsaber with no technique or combos whatsoever. You can use the Force in combat, but you only have Force Push to throw your opponents away. Despite being Jedi, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon can carry blasters, grenades, rocket lauchers, rapid-fire rifles just like Padme and Panaka, while they do vary the gameplay a little and can be a little amusing to see a Jedi using such uncivilized weapon.

Imagine Padmé breaking into the Royal Palace screaming
Imagine Padmé breaking into the Royal Palace screaming "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"

The camera is a annoying over-the-shoulder type in what should have been a third person game that restricts your vision and can be annoying to perform platforming persons. By the way, platforming is one of the most annoying parts of this game. Its difficult enough when you are using Jedi character, that at least, enjoy the possibility of double jump, but when playing as Padme and Panaka you will tear your own head out with your bare hands.

It is almost like you could run past everyone without fighting a single enemy.
It is almost like you could run past everyone without fighting a single enemy.

The Enemy AI can vary from being terminally stupid to very cheap, some enemies will attack you on sight, but if you stay out of their sight, they will not chase you and just stand there blankly, waiting for you to come out to attack again. Other times you will invariably walk into enemies that you are not supposed to fight like a MTT that has infinite battle droids or a Armored Assault Thank, which cannot be destroyed without cheats or some heavy weaponry. Allied AI in the other hand sucks f**king nuts. All of your allies can be killed and there is no health display to let you know how much is left, which is even worse during escort missions. You can leave them on a safe spot, but if you move too far away from them, you get a Game Over.

Perhaps the worst offense the game commits is the lack of a tutorial, hints or directions. You explore levels that don't explain where are you supposed to go or what you are supposed to do next. Your screen only shows your health bar, your Force bar, weapons and that is it. No maps, no hints. You can open your pause menu to check out your inventory, but that is mostly for the show as except for a few levels, what you are carrying has no importance. I will highlight the worst moment where a hint and tutorial is needed badly in the game.

One of the rarest fun sections in the game. I sh*t you not.
One of the rarest fun sections in the game. I sh*t you not.

When you first visit Tatooine, you must find Watoo's shop somewhere in Mos Espa. You will likely waste some time wandering the city looking for him, and when you do, he will agree to fund the Podracing if he finds two mechanical parts, a servo control and a mass coupler that are necessary to rebuild the Pod. Now you have no clue where these things are and you must interact with every NPC in this city to acquire these parts. You just need to take a guess to know which one does, for instance, you find a alien weeping at a building doorstep, where some bad guy has taken his son prisoner. After Qui-Gon agrees to free him, the alien repays you by giving you one of the items you need, but he doesn't say exactly it is until you check your inventory? At least you know where to get it now, but you have no bloody clue during your first play.

Mind you this was a very common issue with games made at the time, leaving important information and walkthroughs in the manuals (the games I mentioned above have the same case). But hell, I didn't have a manual when I played this game for the first time, you had to look up in the Internet what you are supposed to do.

Boss fights are so depressingly lame. Of course, the only one character that was boss material in the movie was Darth Maul, so they try adding new characters not present in the original to fight in some levels like a

a Wampa
a Wampa
A strange lizard alien dude
A strange lizard alien dude
Hm... A Imperial Royal Guard?
Hm... A Imperial Royal Guard?
A space Uruk-Hai?!
A space Uruk-Hai?!

And of course Darth f*cking Maul. Unfortunately, they never feel particularly exciting or difficult if you use a different pattern. In fact, you can fight them almost the same way as the basic enemies. Don't even expect a satisfying climax with Maul, you fight him briefly in the desert as Qui-Gon, once again in the hangar as Obi-Wan, you get separated from the fight and has to plow through a annoying section of platforming and when you get to confront him, this is how you can take him down?

Anticlimax doesn't even begin to describe it -_-

Sound Effects

The voice acting is such mixed bag... While none of the actors from the movie do the roles in their game (except for Anakin and Jar Jar, which is really bad when you think about it), some do a alright job in personating their movie counterparts such as Obi-Wan and Padme. Others like Qui-Gon in particular, sounds absolutely bored out of his mind its painful listen. The extras' VA range from mind numbing to unintentionally hillarious, some merchants in Tatooine will blurt out lines such as "Stand back, sir, because I am going to slash... All my prices" or some knife-wielding hobos in Coruscant screaming "HE IS A KILLAH! GEET HIIIIIIIIIIIM!".

Not even the score from the movie is used often, except in key moments of dialogue or boss fights very briefly, but otherwise, the majority of time you will be running the levels with no songs whatsoever, only with ambivalence sounds that get old after a while and left me absolutely bored out of my mind. The worst offender was in the Theed levels, when you keep hearing the same cannon blasters in the background that grate on the nerves very quickly.

Visual Effects

This is the best the game ever gets to look by the way.
This is the best the game ever gets to look by the way.

To say the graphics are muddy and low resolution would have been too forgiving. Characters models look like they are made out of paper edges while Jabba looks like a giant poop with red eyes, even more than he is supposed to be like in the movies. The FMV cutscenes that follow the movie scenes do fare a little better for a game released in 1999, but I think huge part of the budget was dropped in the rather brief cinematic segments.

There were some occasional glitches and I like to remind I played this game on PC. I didn't run into many but people posted a few ones in YT

Final Score - 2/10. There is a no justifying reason you should play this game, probably to see for yourself the madness you can inflict, break the canon for the lulz or just plain old black comedy. Other than that, its a shining example why movie licensed games are so bad, rushed in to make a quick buck out of the license and because of that, suffers some questionable designs, a lack of explanation or direction, boring combat and gameplay.

Thank you guys for reading it, I hope you enjoyed it. I want to celebrate my recent landmark, hitting 10,000 posts and I hope to still be around to have 10,000 more in the future. Lets all party =D

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mrdecepticonleader

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Incredible review as per.

Ha two out of 10. Would you give the actual film a lower or a higher score? :)

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#2  Edited By Dragonborn_CT

Incredible review as per.

Ha two out of 10. Would you give the actual film a lower or a higher score? :)

Thanks, man.

I would rate the movie a little higher than the game, probably not more than 4 or 5 out of 10. I don't find as horrible as some people claim, but its definitely subpar and more work is needed in the movie (there are some good stuff that is unfortunately outweighed by the bad).

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ARMIV2

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I remember this game. Never got past the first part of Nabu and I kept killing Jar-Jar.

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Dragonborn_CT

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@armiv2 said:

I remember this game. Never got past the first part of Nabu and I kept killing Jar-Jar.

You are fortunate you never got past that part :\

But yeah, that Swamp level sucked!

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_Glacier_

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#5  Edited By _Glacier_

Never played it. I'm curious now xD

Awesome review and congrats, mano.

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mrdecepticonleader

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@mrdecepticonleader said:

Incredible review as per.

Ha two out of 10. Would you give the actual film a lower or a higher score? :)

Thanks, man.

I would rate the movie a little higher than the game, probably not more than 4 or 5 out of 10. I don't find as horrible as some people claim, but its definitely subpar and more work is needed in the movie (there are some good stuff that is unfortunately outweighed by the bad).

Ha true. Darth Maul could have being so much better.

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Dragonborn_CT

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@_nobody_ said:

Never played it. I'm curious now xD

Awesome review and congrats, mano.

You are welcome.

Espera, você não vai jogar isso, vai?

O___o

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Dragonborn_CT

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@mrdecepticonleader said:

Incredible review as per.

Ha two out of 10. Would you give the actual film a lower or a higher score? :)

Thanks, man.

I would rate the movie a little higher than the game, probably not more than 4 or 5 out of 10. I don't find as horrible as some people claim, but its definitely subpar and more work is needed in the movie (there are some good stuff that is unfortunately outweighed by the bad).

Ha true. Darth Maul could have being so much better.

If the script was proof read, removed Jar Jar, replace Anakin with a youth rather than a kid, shortened that Coruscant scenes, Obi-Wan being made the consistent main hero (instead of the protagonist being constantly changed in the movie) and maybe (this is just maybe) Darth Maul getting away or being killed just to return as cyborg for Ep. II, then it would have been the best movie never made.

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_Glacier_

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@dragonborn_ct: Talvez >_> Ja enfrentei Battletoads e a famigerada fase do jet ski.

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Dragonborn_CT

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#10  Edited By Dragonborn_CT

@_nobody_: Ah, meu Pai do Céu -__- Quem jogou aquilo joga qualquer coisa :P

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_Glacier_

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mrdecepticonleader

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@mrdecepticonleader said:

@mrdecepticonleader said:

Incredible review as per.

Ha two out of 10. Would you give the actual film a lower or a higher score? :)

Thanks, man.

I would rate the movie a little higher than the game, probably not more than 4 or 5 out of 10. I don't find as horrible as some people claim, but its definitely subpar and more work is needed in the movie (there are some good stuff that is unfortunately outweighed by the bad).

Ha true. Darth Maul could have being so much better.

If the script was proof read, removed Jar Jar, replace Anakin with a youth rather than a kid, shortened that Coruscant scenes, Obi-Wan being made the consistent main hero (instead of the protagonist being constantly changed in the movie) and maybe (this is just maybe) Darth Maul getting away or being killed just to return as cyborg for Ep. II, then it would have been the best movie never made.

It would have certainly been an improvement.

Congrats on 10K posts too :)

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mr_ingenuity

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#13 mr_ingenuity  Moderator

Congrats on 10K post, also well stated review.

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ARMIV2

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#14  Edited By ARMIV2

@armiv2 said:

I remember this game. Never got past the first part of Nabu and I kept killing Jar-Jar.

You are fortunate you never got past that part :\

But yeah, that Swamp level sucked!

And here I thought I just sucked.

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XP Nice review dude, was a very fun read...Doesn't surprise me that the worst Star Wars movie would have an abysmal game though.... xD

Congrats on 10,000 btw. ^__^

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rogueshadow

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#16 rogueshadow  Moderator

All pale in comparison to the sprouty phenomena that was[Please Read in Brian Blessed's voice]

CHICKEN RUN - THE VIDEO GAME!

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#17  Edited By Samimista

@dragonborn_ct: Oh my! XD I would of never guessed this was the review! =O Hehehe! xD I never played but I also would rate the movie slightly higher. I had no idea there was even a game of this! =O Did you replay it recently? You should play Sonic 2006 next! Maybe even Superman 64.

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Dragonborn_CT

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Thank you my friend xD I did replay it recently on my PC and it was so bad D: I don't think I will survive playing Sonic 2006 or Superman 64 (besides there is little I can add that other had already covered). I will do a good Star Wars game next time!

@rogueshadow: 0____O I heard of this travesty in passing. I hope to never see it in person.

@dccomicsrule2011, @mr_ingenuity:Thanks, guys I am happy to hit 10k :D

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gumflabica

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This made me laugh! The dog living on my forehead is amused!

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deathstroke19

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#20  Edited By deathstroke19

Lmfao. This is by far the funniest review i have ever seen. Lol this is my fav part: Jabba looks like a giant poop with red eyes. Lol I'm still laughing at it. Great review buddy I've heard some things here and there about it but this gave me much more info. I feel like getting the game now just to get some laughs. So yeah, i totally agree with the review and thought it was hilarious.

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deathstroke19

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Wow that took forever to post. I posted that reply before armiv2 posted. Oh well lol. Oh and the only thing i disagree about is that i would have given the movie a much higher rating because believe me that is WAY above the worst of movies and IMO its above only meh (5/10) movies as well. But still GREAT review.

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Sounds like a hilarious game. TOTALLY want to play this! :)

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Dragonborn_CT

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Lmfao. This is by far the funniest review i have ever seen. Lol this is my fav part: Jabba looks like a giant poop with red eyes. Lol I'm still laughing at it. Great review buddy I've heard some things here and there about it but this gave me much more info. I feel like getting the game now just to go. So yeah, i totally agree with the review and thought it was hilarious.

Thanks dude :D Glad you enjoyed but you may probably spare some pain from playing this :P

This made me laugh! The dog living on my forehead is amused!

Hahaha I hope he doesn't cause too much of a mess :P

Sounds like a hilarious game. TOTALLY want to play this! :)

Maybe its not that worthy :P Just sayin'

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#24  Edited By Samimista

@dragonborn_ct: Aw your welcome mate! =D Anytime. So much laughter and fun this review has brought! Hehe! xD I actually never played Superman 64! =O Did play a bit of Sonic 2006 though...*shudders* Least Dreams of An Absolution is catchy! =O Shame still about 1313. v__v

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deactivated-5c901e667a76c

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This is seriously the best review I've read here.

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#26  Edited By deathstroke19

@dragonborn_ct: no problem. Thanks for the review and for the laughs. Sorry my one sentence in there that ended in go was not what I wanted to put in but my dog started running around with some toilet paper and i started chasing her and when I got back i thought i already typed what I wanted to so i just kept going. Well anyway it's edited now for my actual sentence.

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@dragonborn_ct: The patrons of the hotel in my foot also approve, although I don't know how reliable they are, seeing as they're made of Tuesday, but nonetheless, I am just fine with the boogly moogly.

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Wow, bro, amazing review. I'd say this is your best one yet, even better than your AC II one. As a matter of fact I too played this game when I was younger and boy, was it a doozy. I'd say you made the game justice but there is no justice in this game. The only reason I kept playing it was for three reasons:

  1. I wanted to fight Darth Maul at the end (and we all know how well that went...)
  2. Killing random people is actually pretty funny. I dunno why, I was always found it amusing. In other games killing innocent people makes you feel wrong but in this game it's just hilarious. The "STOP POOSHING ME" guy was my favorite.
  3. And last but definitely not least, I was bored.

I also found a cheat code by accident once: when you type "kill me now" in the cheat code bar you actually die. It's pretty funny and not quite what I meant when I typed that :P

But yeah, fantastic review and congrats on the 10K posts, man.

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@smashbrawler: Whoa, thanks bro. I didn't expect that would be that good O_o I am surprise to learn you played that too. So much nostalgia seeing this huh? I know I tested all the cheat codes too, I believe there were four different suicide cheats lol

There was one that made your weapons more powerful, but it only seemed to have effect on the rapid-machine gun :\

@gumflabica: Hahaha glad to hear :P

@deathstroke19: No problemo, dude ;) My computer was crapping out not long after I finished this review so I had problems replying :(

@xwraith: Wow, I feel honored u__u

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deathstroke19

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@gumflabica: you know i would feel really bad if you were from a different country and thought you were actually speaking normally lol. But I'm pretty sure your just messing around. @dragonborn_ct: yeah. I was having problems too although I'm mobile so it's not really the same.

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PotatoOfDoom

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LOOL

Cê é foda.

E, que desgraça de jogo. o_o

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Dragonborn_CT

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LOOL

Cê é foda.

E, que desgraça de jogo. o_o

Haha vlw mano *high five*

Não se preocupa, o proximo jogo a ser reviewed vai ser um bem foda

Vingança dos Sith para o PS2 :D

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@dragonborn_ct: Vei...

JOGO FODA DO CARAI.

Um dos (Ou o) jogo mais legais de SW que já joguei :D

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Wow, it has being 7 months since I made 10K posts...

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@inverno said:

Wow, it has been 7 months since I made 10K posts...

Fixed. :)

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deactivated-5fbfd5d291164

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linsanel_Doctor

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rip

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Inquisitor_Lavellan

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MrHamWallet

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I never played this game but seems I didn't miss much.

What did you think of Jedi Power Battles though?

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linsanel_Doctor

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