#1 Edited by Pfcoolio15 (309 posts) - - Show Bio

I love Batman. You love Batman. We all love Batman. But when people say he's realistic and try to make him relatable. No. And I found a few points as to why.

People’s parents get killed in real life in more dramatic circumstances than Batman’s, Heck, entire family's have been killed in front of kids. Through a lot of things, not just shootings. And yet none have generated this response and no one's behavior comes close to this. We can’t identify with his motivations and we can’t relate to any decisions he makes. Even the basic logic regarding his career choice is ludicrous. The thing about the suspension of disbelief is that we can accept one or two extraordinary things at a time, but if you pack them all together, or if they become too numerous, the illusion is shattered. Batman is very guilty of this.

  1. King of Martial Arts - Batman is described as the greatest martial artist in the world, mastering virtually all styles. Mastering a single martial art takes a lifetime, but Batman mastered all of them in the span of a few years. This isn’t the biggest deal, but combined with all the other amazing things he’s accomplished in that small time and it becomes absurd. If he was just “Karate Man” and his main skill was martial arts, this would be more acceptable.
  2. World’s Greatest Detective - Batman is often compared to Sherlock Holmes, but while Holmes was a somewhat quirky character with many unusual affectations (the side-effect of his attention to detail), Batman is simply smarter than everyone else and can get out of any jam. Writing “master detectives” is tricky stuff, because you’re writing a character who is more intelligent than you are, and more intelligent than the reader. It’s hard to relate to an immense intelligence. One way to balance this is to give them believable affectations. Characters like Poirot become more interesting because they’re a little off. They are extraordinary in a certain way, but like someone who is OCD or autistic, that unique strength comes at a price. Batman exhibits no such downside to his infallible detective skills. Also, when did he have time to go to detective school when he was mastering all the martial arts?
  3. He Created His Own Villains - Virtually all of Batman’s more extraordinary enemies are people he instigates. The Joker, Riddler, etc. behave the way they do because they are psychotically obsessed with Batman’s own crazy behavior. This is actually a common plot point in Batman, but they always seem to dance around the most obvious conclusion: find a less theatrical way to stop crimes and the Joker will stop gassing the city. I’m not saying Batman is responsible for these people’s actions, but rather he is incapable of realizing very obvious and easy solutions to uncomplicated problems.
  4. Employs Minors to Draw Gunfire - Arguably the craziest behavior of Batman is his need to employ children. Even if we accept that a billionaire becomes a master of karate and detecting to fight crime, how can he possibly believe a little kid is qualified to dodge bullets and punch adults in the head? I don’t care how great the kid is, if he needs a helping hand that bad, surely with his infinite resources he could find a grown man or woman for the job. The costume’s just icing on the crazy cake. Batman has to rely on a lot of tricks not to die, like dressing in all black, relying on fear and (as mentioned) being the best at hand-to-hand combat after years of training. What possessed him to dress up a child in bright clothing and send him out to go be shot at by mobsters after less than a year of Bat-training?
  5. Unlimited, Untraceable Resources - Very few people know who Batman is, and yet he spends billions of dollars on the construction of things like supersonic jets and space stations (the former of which he keeps under his house) without anyone noticing. I realize there have been plot points in both the comics and films about this problem, but they’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg. One man couldn’t possibly handle all the financial judo necessary to essentially mask billions upon billions of dollars to fight muggers, which brings me to my biggest complaint:
  6. Billions Spent to Fight Robbers - Despite his apparent genius, Batman invests billions of dollars into a campaign to fight the lowest level crimes in the least efficient way. On a good night, he may stop one, maybe two crimes, but the cost of operation per night is easily thousands of dollars, if not more. Flying around in an experimental jet or car, looking for muggers stealing $20 from a purse is a laughable application of resources. Crime is a symptom of socioeconomic factors like poverty; if he actually cared about the net reduction of crime, he would spend all that space station money on public works programs and education. Heck, if he still wanted to directly fight crime, he could spend those millions on quintupling the police force so he wouldn’t have to run around looking for muggers. If he’s worried about corruption and organized crime, he could simply buy out the entire system. If he has the resources to single-handedly build Superman a space station, he could easily financially overpower crooked lobbyists and mobsters.

So we like Batman, and that’s fine, but he’s absurd, more absurd than any other character in modern fiction.

I mean seriously, he could spend all that money he uses on partying to help get education for kids and fixing the town up so the street doesn't always smell like cigars.

#2 Posted by Pfcoolio15 (309 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump

#3 Posted by BlackWind (5548 posts) - - Show Bio

Uhm...duh?

#4 Posted by The_Lunact_And_Manic (3286 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah..

#5 Posted by TheCannon (17916 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pfcoolio15: I agree.

#6 Posted by Pfcoolio15 (309 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon: Thanks

#7 Posted by Dark_Vengeance_ (14587 posts) - - Show Bio

You do realize that he lives among men that can carry Earth with their hands and run at the speed of light right? So trust me he is not the least belivable superhero.

#8 Posted by Pfcoolio15 (309 posts) - - Show Bio

@DarkKnightDetective: No, when I say that, I mean personality wise and the decisions he makes and what he does with what he has.

#9 Posted by BlackWind (5548 posts) - - Show Bio

I think so many casual Batman fans get stuck on him being human, lol, then that automatically means he is realistic without counting in the insane amount of things he can do that no one man could accomplish.

#10 Posted by Pfcoolio15 (309 posts) - - Show Bio

@BlackWind: Exactly

#11 Edited by Strider92 (16118 posts) - - Show Bio

@DarkKnightDetective said:

You do realize that he lives among men that can carry Earth with their hands and run at the speed of light right? So trust me he is not the least belivable superhero.

I think what he's trying to say is that Batman is always classed as down to earth believable hero when in-fact its completely the opposite. With Superman for example what you see is what you get. Nothing is off the table with this guy he's super fast, strong etc.... he's believable because although he's not human nothing is held back you know where you stand with him. Because he's superhuman it doesn't matter what he does its believable because he is superhuman. Batman however is the kind of guy to pull out an iphone and shut down a whole alien fleet by sending a text despite the fact he's attempting to be human.

#12 Posted by TheCrowbar (4286 posts) - - Show Bio

Gotham existed as an over the top criminal wasteland before Batman came into being. It's within the City's core. Batman didn't create that.

#13 Posted by Dark_Vengeance_ (14587 posts) - - Show Bio

@Strider92 said:

@DarkKnightDetective said:

You do realize that he lives among men that can carry Earth with their hands and run at the speed of light right? So trust me he is not the least belivable superhero.

I think what he's trying to say is that Batman is always classed as down to earth believable hero when in-fact its completely the opposite. With Superman for example what you see is what you get. Nothing is off the table with this guy he's super fast, strong etc.... he's believable because although he's not human nothing is held back you know where you stand with him. Because he's superhuman it doesn't matter what he does its believable because he is superhuman. Batman however is the kind of guy to pull out an iphone and shut down a whole alien fleet by sending a text despite the fact he's attempting to be human.

Isn't that what Reed Richards does?

It's comic book logic, humans in comic books are not the same as in real life.

#14 Posted by Strider92 (16118 posts) - - Show Bio

@DarkKnightDetective: Which is what makes them dis-believable when people try to portray them as such.

#15 Posted by MrShway88 (655 posts) - - Show Bio

I agree that Batman isn't believable but he is not the least believable superhero. He might be the least believable superhero without powers thought.

#16 Posted by Malonius (883 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pfcoolio15: Great list! One thing that always bugs me about Batman (and all peak human characters generally) is that comic book writers and artists like to put him in the same panel as characters like Superman or the Flash during big super-powered brawls. This is ridiculous. Say they're fighting a bunch of giant robots with laser blasters. By the time Batman reacted and reached for a Batarang, Flash or Superman would have completely destroyed the robots, probably having to protect Batman in the meantime. The power scale difference is just so profoundly far apart between Batman and the god-like beings in the Justice League.

#17 Posted by dtm1980 (240 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pfcoolio15:

Hahaha well whoever said such great things about him...

Nah I can't touch this... so many people will be offended

Blowing smoke is all I will accuse them of

#18 Posted by Jorgevy (5114 posts) - - Show Bio

we all love Batman? that's not true, and it's big generalization

either way, Batman is the least believable and realistic of the "realistic" super heroes. but still, it's comic books, most heroes there make stupid decisions and usse their resources poorly, but that's because initially readers wanted fisticuffs not charity organizations

#19 Posted by Lone_Wolf_and_Cub (4913 posts) - - Show Bio

Most people could relate to Clark Kent more than they could ever relate to Bruce Wayne. Seriously. I love when people throw out the "Anyone could become Batman" card. Really? Yeah how many people have billions of dollars, master of every form of martial art, greatest detective, model like looks, genius intellect etc? I'll tell you how many. Zero. Batman is one of my favorite Heroes but he is also the most underpowered overpowered character in comics.

#20 Posted by Ben836 (42 posts) - - Show Bio

I have always seen DC comics as the least believable. I mean a guy who can pull planets. A guy from Mars, A guy who dresses like a bat and spends Billions of dollars without anyone noticing. It doesn't add up. At least for Iron Man it makes sense. He made weapons, he just designed the best one for himself.

#21 Posted by SandMan_ (4528 posts) - - Show Bio

We all love Batman? Not really.
 
 
But yeah.

#22 Posted by WaveMotionCannon (5175 posts) - - Show Bio

I like the Bat but the Kung fu knowing every style at only 35 yrs old without Bruce having a Matrix USB jack in his cranium kills me.

#23 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19923 posts) - - Show Bio

You are arguing real world logic against comic book logic.

It simply doesn't work that way my friend.

Now, if you want a realistic vigilante, go look at Rorschach.

#24 Posted by WaveMotionCannon (5175 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm arguing comic book logic against writers fanwanking and fanboys etching that bullshit in stone. Bats is a top tier fighter without the BS declaration.

#25 Edited by Charlie_Jade (523 posts) - - Show Bio

Batman is semi credible

The Hulk and Superman are ridiculous

#26 Posted by dboy4dashing (85 posts) - - Show Bio

Punisher is more believable actually. Ted Kord was believable (i only know him from the road to infinite crisis i must add).

So we can say if either one of them had a bit different personality they could have been Batman like.

#27 Edited by ZEELLO (223 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pfcoolio15 said:

  • He Created His Own Villains - Virtually all of Batman’s more extraordinary enemies are people he instigates. The Joker, Riddler, etc. behave the way they do because they are psychotically obsessed with Batman’s own crazy behavior.

I was not aware of this. I think I heard this mentioned before (maybe in a cracked article or something) but I didn't believe it then either. Then again I am not well versed in Batman lore. If he really did create all his villains then that's kind of messed up. Kind of seriously messed up in fact. Can anyone explain?

#28 Posted by Pokeysteve (8067 posts) - - Show Bio

Batman is the least believable hero because he's supposed to be realistic. That's that. The other hero's are built around fantasy. Superman, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and pretty much every other alien or mythical hero are incredibly possible. A man who has trained himself to physical perfection (especially on the little sleep he seems to get) as well as his knowing multiple languages, escape artistry, all his forensic knowledge, and most notably his toys seems pretty far fetched. Oh yeah and he dodges bullets.........

#29 Edited by Strider92 (16118 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pokeysteve said:

Batman is the least believable hero because he's supposed to be realistic. That's that. The other hero's are built around fantasy. Superman, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and pretty much every other alien or mythical hero are incredibly possible. A man who has trained himself to physical perfection (especially on the little sleep he seems to get) as well as his knowing multiple languages, escape artistry, all his forensic knowledge, and most notably his toys seems pretty far fetched. Oh yeah and he dodges bullets.........

Exactly this! He's the least believable because rather than play to the fantasy side of things he plays towards realism which of course just doesn't work in a universe like his. Superman is more believable because everything he does we can put down to him being superhuman and don't have to wrack our brains trying to understand how or why he can do what he does. Batman on the other hand we do.

#30 Posted by Cole_Mercer (214 posts) - - Show Bio

Batman is soooooooo overrated now

#31 Posted by dondave (34542 posts) - - Show Bio

@Strider92 said:

@DarkKnightDetective said:

You do realize that he lives among men that can carry Earth with their hands and run at the speed of light right? So trust me he is not the least belivable superhero.

I think what he's trying to say is that Batman is always classed as down to earth believable hero when in-fact its completely the opposite. With Superman for example what you see is what you get. Nothing is off the table with this guy he's super fast, strong etc.... he's believable because although he's not human nothing is held back you know where you stand with him. Because he's superhuman it doesn't matter what he does its believable because he is superhuman. Batman however is the kind of guy to pull out an iphone and shut down a whole alien fleet by sending a text despite the fact he's attempting to be human.

QFT

#32 Posted by BlackWind (5548 posts) - - Show Bio

@Cole_Mercer: Try for the last 20 or so years.

#33 Posted by JLDoom (2310 posts) - - Show Bio

@Cole_Mercer said:

Batman is soooooooo overrated now

I agree

#34 Posted by Charlie_Jade (523 posts) - - Show Bio

@WaveMotionCannon said:

Bats is a top tier fighter without the BS declaration.

Superman went back in time and done martial arts training with Wonder Woman

for thousands of years

.

@Nighthunter said:

.

#35 Posted by RobocopSlayerT800 (2341 posts) - - Show Bio

yeah this is true about bats.

#36 Posted by ZEELLO (223 posts) - - Show Bio

@Pfcoolio15 said:

  • Employs Minors to Draw Gunfire - Arguably the craziest behavior of Batman is his need to employ children. Even if we accept that a billionaire becomes a master of karate and detecting to fight crime, how can he possibly believe a little kid is qualified to dodge bullets and punch adults in the head? I don’t care how great the kid is, if he needs a helping hand that bad, surely with his infinite resources he could find a grown man or woman for the job. The costume’s just icing on the crazy cake. Batman has to rely on a lot of tricks not to die, like dressing in all black, relying on fear and (as mentioned) being the best at hand-to-hand combat after years of training. What possessed him to dress up a child in bright clothing and send him out to go be shot at by mobsters after less than a year of Bat-training?

This I definitely agree with. It's also what I suspect might be the writers' motivation for changing Nightwing's origin story in New 52 (Batman took him in to keep his identity secret not because "hey kid, I could use someone like you") and why I might say it's the better origin story. The idea of Batman employing children as sidekicks is borderline absurd. (if not full blown absurd)

#37 Posted by PurpleCandy (773 posts) - - Show Bio

To be fair everything unrealistic about Batman during the 60s comics is realistic today