Mind you I haven't been in comics for too long, but I'm with everyone else here-- this is a very difficult concept to grasp, especially when different authors are tackling and using characters with their own spin on it. When I first asked about how to start getting into X-men for example, no one really suggested the same answer as anyone else.. meaning there was no concrete beginning. I didn't understand this at all. Then when I was wiki-ing up a character, it had said "Deaths: 5" and then I was blown away-- how could a character die so many times and yet there are so many stories being created with this character even today?
The way I see it is these characters are just that: characters. Marvel and DC created these characters with a back story and they essentially leave it up to other authors and artists to create story arcs with these characters; some continuous story arcs, some not. I've heard that Marvel is way more keen on continuity. DC deals with more story arcs where characters have died in multiple times just about every where.
While I don't have a direct answer to your X-men question since I haven't tackled those series' yet, hopefully I'm shedding some light on how I see all of these characters and universes and how they all work together. The series' that are ongoing 200+ issues, yeah, that's going to be a continuous story line. If someone dies, they are probably dead in just that story arc. That character will probably still be alive in many stories to come.
I've adapted to looking at every new series as something completely different than another series, even if they feature the same characters. And hopefully I'm doing that right because as I said, I'm pretty new into comics as well! Good luck! I'm still trying to grasp this concept. I'm so used to a continuous TV series or a manga series where it's a strict volume 1-20 then a concrete ending.
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