Late Night With FadeToBlackBolt #3: Fade, Wade and Slade (Humor)

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FadeToBlackBolt

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Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
(Intro music. FadeToBlackBolt walks in, takes a seat behind his desk.)

FTBB: Hello again, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of Late Night with FadeToBlackBolt, I'm your host; the aforementioned Fade. As you know from our recent commercials, our guest tonight was originally going to be Scott Summers, better known as the X-Man Cyclops. Well we tried a test filming, but after I asked him how his relationship with the delightful Emma Frost was, he just started climbing all over the furniture and jumping up and down screaming "I LOVE EMMA FROST". It was really quite strange.
Regardless, we've managed to get ourselves just as big a guest, he's been everywhere lately; the Merc with the Mouth; Deadpool!

(Deadpool enters, fans cheering)

FTBB: Wade, it's great having you here, I'm a huge fan.

DP: My pleasure, Fade, I always like hanging out with you. You're the only guy in the world with a face uglier than mine. Anyways, how are my favourite Comicviners going?

(FTBB and crowd look confused)

FTBB: So, Wade, how's life been treating you?

DP: Pretty well, pretty well. Horrific scarring, traumatising past, constant battles that leave me dismembered. The usual. BUT! 2 for one burritos. Winning. Also I heard that Ryan Reynolds is playing me in a film adaptation of my heartwarming and inspirational story.

FTBB: More on the movie in a moment, but one question first. How is your story remotely heartwarming and inspirational? You're a psychotic mercenary.

DP: Yes, but I've also done Outlaw. So, yeh, Deadpool: 1. Universe: 0.

FTBB: Right, fair enough. So, back to your movie; what'd you think of your initial on-screen portrayal in Wolverine: Origins?

DP: Well, Fade, I was very surprised by the fan reaction to that. I knew that people liked me, since, come on, I'm Deadpool but the negative response was amazing. People literally ran out of the theatre screaming, tearing their clothes off, swearing and committing all sorts of acts of vandalism. One guy even broke down the door to the cinema. It was incredible.

FTBB: Why do you think that was?

DP: Well, I like to believe it's because they were so devastated seeing their favourite character raped that they just had a nervous breakdown, but it's possibly because when I saw Ryan Reynold's mouth sewn closed I threw a grenade at the screen, and lit the first three rows on fire with a flame-thrower I keep handy. But you know, I still think option one is the more likely.

FTBB: So do I, people are so whiney when it comes to first-degree burns and shrapnel.

DP: I know, right!? So many people are just complainy now. Like the other day, I was torturing this guy for information about a kidnapped girl while listening to "Stuck in the Middle With You", and he just wouldn't stop crying. I mean, I know that Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction were the highpoints of Tarentino's career, but do you really need to cry about it? At least it wasn't as bad as the Matrix sequels.

FTBB: I kinda liked Reloaded...

(DP shoots Fade in the leg)

DP: And what did we learn?

FTBB: ****! Ok, sorry, sorry. Geez that hurts. So, solo film. Excited?

DP: We're cool. And I'm thrilled. Ryan Reynolds is almost as sexy as I am, and I heard that it's totally unrelated to that other "film"... And besides, if it sucks, I'll just sue the producer's for defamation. And by sue, I mean "wear their intestines like a necklace". I wonder if I could sell the design to Tiffany's. I love that store. They always kick me out for eating in there, which is ridiculous, since breakfast is any time before 10am. Speaking of, how great is Audrey Hepburn? She weighs like 800 pounds. 70lbs of flesh and bone, 730lbs of awesomeness.

(DP keeps rambling and looking at the roof)

FTBB: Wade? Wade? Right, well let's leave him to whatever it is he's doing and bring out my next guest; Deathstroke the Terminator!

(Deathstroke sits down adjacent to Deadpool)

FTBB: Welcome, Slade.

DS: Fade. Wade.

DP: Slade. 

FTBB: It's great to have you both here, it's not very often we get a borderline Bizarro world mirror image of our guests. Well except for when we have Bizarro on...

DP: I'm a homage, jack***. 

DS: No, you're the Danny Devito to my Arnold Schwarzenegger.

DP: Did you just reference an 80s buddy comedy? Dude... Weak. And if we're going to talk about Ivan Reitman films, either Stripes or Ghostbusters. Stop embarassing yourself.

DS: Fade, as I continue to ignore this baffoon, are there any questions you'd like to ask?

FTBB: Uh, yes. You seem to be getting much more face time in the DC Universe as of late, even having your own team book. How does it feel?

DS: Pretty terrific, as you know, Fade, I've paid my dues in the DC Universe. I've beaten down everyone, from Robin to Kyle Rayner. Unlike d***less here, I earned my popularity.

DP: Oh please, you're just jealous.

FTBB: Is that true?

DS: Yes, it's true. Deadpool has no d***.

DP: YES! Ghostbusters quote! Bump this.

(Slade and Wade fist bump)

DS: You know, maybe we should just bury the hatchet, acknowledge that we're both awesome, and move on.

(Slade extends hand toward Wade)

DP: You're right. And to tell you the truth, I've always thought you were the better assassin.

(Wade shakes Slade's hand)

DS: Really? That means a lot, Wade.

(Wade shoots Deathstroke in the eye with a hidden pistol)

DP: No, not really! I'm Deadpool, b****. I'm Number One.

FTBB: Ok, um, well I guess we should probably end the show there, since one of our guests has been shot in the face. Until next time, viewers! I'm FadeToBlackBolt, have a great night!
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Killer_of_trolls

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#1  Edited By Killer_of_trolls

YOU LEFT OUT BLADE HE RHYMES TOO 

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#2  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@rapest_of_super_heros: Haha, the epic rhyming was actually just a coincidence.

The lovely rogue_mar1e suggested I "interview" Deathstroke and Deadpool =]
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Killer_of_trolls

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#3  Edited By Killer_of_trolls

yeah, I even made a picture here somewhere in the battle forum that made a   lot of people Rofl and lol.

No Caption Provided




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Hawkeye446

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#4  Edited By Hawkeye446

Nice, very enteratining, I will have to read the others... eventually.
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rogue_mar1e

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#5  Edited By rogue_mar1e

LOVED IT xD xD xD


@FadeToBlackBolt: 
 
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FadeToBlackBolt

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#6  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@rapest_of_super_heros: Haha, that's awesome.

@Hawkeye446:
Thank you :)
The guests from the others are Doctor Doom, Black Bolt and Aquaman.

@rogue_mar1e:
Thank you, Princess ^_^
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A_O_N

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#7  Edited By A_O_N

 Goo' 'tuff!

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#8  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@A_O_N: Thank you ^_^
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InnerVenom123

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#9  Edited By InnerVenom123

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#10  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@InnerVenom123: =D Glad you liked it, mate
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Hawkeye446

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#11  Edited By Hawkeye446
@FadeToBlackBolt:
Cool, looking forward to getting around to doing it... <-- Laziness
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#12  Edited By Mercy_

So much win!

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#13  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@The Dark Huntress: Thank you, lovely ^_^
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#14  Edited By Mercy_
@FadeToBlackBolt: You're most welcome good sir! ^_^
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armylife1124

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#15  Edited By armylife1124

The Wade-Slade-Fade thing reminded me of when a bunch of Doctors meet..Doctor..Doctor..Doctor...Doctor
Good stuff

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#16  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@ntb1124: Thank you =]
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velle37

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#17  Edited By velle37
@FadeToBlackBolt said:
" @rapest_of_super_heros: Haha, the epic rhyming was actually just a coincidence. The lovely rogue_mar1e suggested I "interview" Deathstroke and Deadpool =] "


"Slade."

 

"Fade. Wade."

 

Lmao

 

Blade would've been an epic addition.....

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Backflip

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#18  Edited By Backflip

Hilarious. The Audrey Hepburn part had me giggling like I was having a fit. Pure win

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SUPER-MAN 23

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#19  Edited By SUPER-MAN 23

Awesome

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#20  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@Backflip:@SUPER-MAN 23: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it =D
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entropy_aegis

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#21  Edited By entropy_aegis

LOL, good, how about the Judd Winick interview you mentioned some time ago?

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#22  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt
@entropy_aegis: It's coming :)

The next Late Night is going to involve some writers and the characters they've written, Judd's going to be in that :)
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#23  Edited By entropy_aegis
@FadeToBlackBolt said:
" @entropy_aegis: It's coming :) The next Late Night is going to involve some writers and the characters they've written, Judd's going to be in that :) "
Yuuuuus.
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lykopis

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#24  Edited By lykopis

I remember reading these a long, long time ago and they are as hilarious then as they are now and ALSO --- makes me wonder why you would stop. Outside of having a life, it's almost unforgivable you don't have more!

Can't pick a favourite part and don't want to give away the ending but I shall go with this because of my darling Audrey Hepburn:

"I wonder if I could sell the design to Tiffany's. I love that store. They always kick me out for eating in there, which is ridiculous, since breakfast is any time before 10am. Speaking of, how great is Audrey Hepburn? She weighs like 800 pounds. 70lbs of flesh and bone, 730lbs of awesomeness."

Gotta love Deadpool.

:)

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