I Have Super Powers... Seriously! I bet you do to...

When I was young, back when I first started driving, I discovered I had a super power...  I could control other people.  Seriously.  I could make them do things..
 
The first time it happened, I was stopped at a red light at an intersection.  This was one of those roads with four lanes (two in each direction.)  As it happened, there was a car to my right, also stopped at the red light.  Now, being young and impatient, I 'anticipated' the light changing from red to green.  I 'EASED' on the gas just a smidgen and my car moved forward a few inches.  and then... IT... happened.  The driver next to me inched HIS car forward a few inches...  
 
At first, I thought it was just coincidence, but it happened again the very next day.  After that, I decided to TEST this odd occurrence.   The next time I was stopped at a red light with someone next to me, I intentionally inched forward even though I knew the light wasn't going to change.   Lo and behold, the car NEXT to me inched forward.   So, I did it again!  I inched forward and SO DID THE OTHER DRIVER!  It was actually happening!  I was causing them to inch forward!  I had a super power!
 
Now, over the next few days I experimented with this procedure and it worked nearly 100% of the time...  Not a complete 100% success, but I was still new to this wondrous power.
 
It was not long after, that I learned that I could do MORE with my power...  I found a connection between my ability to control other drivers.... and makeup...
 
I made the discovery one morning when I was late for work...  I stopped at a red light, but this time, I was behind another driver.   The driver was a woman who was looking into her rear-view mirror and putting on her makeup.  Well, the light turned green, but the woman in front of me didn't notice, as she was doing her makeup.  Being in a hurry, I honked my horn and then...IT...happened.  The woman stepped on the gas and sped forward without even looking to see if the light was green or if the way was clear!!!!
 
"WOW!" I thought.  "I have the power to make women drive unsafely through intersections!"   Fortunately, events unfolded such that I had a PLETHORA of opportunities to test my new found power.  and it NEVER failed.  Each time I stopped at a red light, during rush hour traffic, behind a woman using her rear view mirror to do her makeup, all I had to do to make her drive unsafely through the intersection, was honk on my horn and ZOOOMMM!  She would speed through the intersection... Or, at least, INTO the intersection.
 
Now, for the record, I'm not an idiot.  After the first few crashes I realized I should make sure there was no traffic coming in the other directions...  A person with super powers has to be careful how they use their powers.  With great horror, comes great responsibility!
 
Many years later, I found that I had a power connected to a woman riding IN my car who was putting on makeup. I learned that a woman in the passenger seat of my car who was putting on makeup or lipstick could be...affected...  If I suddenly stepped on the brakes, I could alter the course of her lip liner or lip stick or eye liner....  Once, I wanted to impress my wife with this particular super power....There she was, putting on lip stick and I was driving... Well...
 
A week later, when she started talking to me again, I realized that some powers are just too dangerous to be carefree with...  Of course...I still have two daughters that are just starting to use makeup, and the temptation can be great at times... Of course, they have super powers too.  Somehow, they are able to control me and make me do things, or agree to things, I know I shouldn't.
 
"Dad, can I paint  your toenails pink?"
"Can't we stay up just a LEETLE bit longer?"
"Can I sleep with you and mom tonight?"
 
I suspect they may be little Sith Lords, but I'm not sure... It could be a simple case of telepathy...

Well, since I married..I discovered I have the power to tell the future. (precognition) I can tell tell my wife "I'll change into something else" before she says "Are you wearing that?" A power I did not have while we were dating. I know t say "Yes, I used fabric softener" before she says "Did you forget to add fabric softener?" I know that if she gets a 30% of coupon in the mail from Kohl's, she'll be there on Saturday. Sometimes I know this up to 5 days in advance!

Well, since I married..I discovered I have the power to tell the future. (precognition) I can tell tell my wife "I'll change into something else" before she says "Are you wearing that?" A power I did not have while we were dating. I know t say "Yes, I used fabric softener" before she says "Did you forget to add fabric softener?" I know that if she gets a 30% of coupon in the mail from Kohl's, she'll be there on Saturday. Sometimes I know this up to 5 days in advance!

I can make people really mad, does that count?

I can make people really mad, does that count?

@Timandm said:

@Manwhohaseverything said:

Well, since I married..I discovered I have the power to tell the future. (precognition) I can tell tell my wife "I'll change into something else" before she says "Are you wearing that?" A power I did not have while we were dating. I know t say "Yes, I used fabric softener" before she says "Did you forget to add fabric softener?" I know that if she gets a 30% of coupon in the mail from Kohl's, she'll be there on Saturday. Sometimes I know this up to 5 days in advance!

Ahhh... Clearly your powers manifest in the presence of your wife. What about her? Has SHE manifested super powers as well?

Some would say putting up with a middle age man whose dream job is to write Superman, and thinks he knows how to speak French is a super-power.

@Timandm said:

@Manwhohaseverything said:

Well, since I married..I discovered I have the power to tell the future. (precognition) I can tell tell my wife "I'll change into something else" before she says "Are you wearing that?" A power I did not have while we were dating. I know t say "Yes, I used fabric softener" before she says "Did you forget to add fabric softener?" I know that if she gets a 30% of coupon in the mail from Kohl's, she'll be there on Saturday. Sometimes I know this up to 5 days in advance!

Ahhh... Clearly your powers manifest in the presence of your wife. What about her? Has SHE manifested super powers as well?

Some would say putting up with a middle age man whose dream job is to write Superman, and thinks he knows how to speak French is a super-power.

I'm pretty sure I have the ability to eat what I want and not suffer the consequences, so, I guess that's a super power I have, even if I'd rather prefer the ability to fly. >_>

I'm pretty sure I have the ability to eat what I want and not suffer the consequences, so, I guess that's a super power I have, even if I'd rather prefer the ability to fly. >_>

I can move my limbs with the power of my mind

My hearing senses x10 when I masturbate.

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.not srs

I have the power to make automatic doors open just by approaching them! Clearly this is because I was born with a mutant superpower and NOTHING to do with the fact that the doors have sensors and are named 'automatic' for a reason!!

Don't ask me how, but when I eat food it vanishes.

My hearing senses x10 when I masturbate.

Everyone has a learned power of persuasion. Some people are just more charismatic than others.

I possess the same ability.

umm I have only 50% hearing in right ear, but I can tell how many and who are coming up the stairs just by putting my ear to the floor (left) so i am basically half deaf, half really good hearing ...O_O

I have super strength...I discovered it when I opened a really stiff door

I have the power to sell stuff to people.......call me..................SALESMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have massive resistance to the effects of alcohol.

@Timandm how did you know :P

I have the power to sell stuff to people.......call me..................SALESMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Timandm said:

@ArticulateT said:

I'm pretty sure I have the ability to eat what I want and not suffer the consequences, so, I guess that's a super power I have, even if I'd rather prefer the ability to fly. >_>

No danger of weight gain? Atherosclerosis? Food poisoning? Interesting. High metabolism? Perhaps the lining of your stomach secrets a detoxification enzyme... very kewl.... But yes, flying would be better... (I assume you mean without a plane.)

Yep, I have been living on a diet that rarely contains any 'greens', and is mainly various meats, dairy and bread (so, burgers, pizza, all the good junk food) for the majority of my 22 years of living on this planet but have never seemed to gain weight, been disease and diabetes free (and I've been tested on that too) and seem physically fit enough to run for extended periods of time while carrying rather hefty weight. I spend a lot of my life on a computer too, so, maybe I just have the ability to maintain a single physical state, since I never seem to buff up after very long periods of exercise, either O_o.

And yeah, I'd like the Superman-style self-powered flight. Ironic since I'm not fond of flying in a plane XD

@Timandm said:

@Veshark said:

I have the power to make automatic doors open just by approaching them! Clearly this is because I was born with a mutant superpower and NOTHING to do with the fact that the doors have sensors and are named 'automatic' for a reason!!

Henceforth you shall be known as... DOOR MAN!

I AM THE G0DDAMN DOORMAN! Fighting for truth, justice, and the way into your local Walmart!

I have the power to help prevent forest fires, as well as help encourage them

@Timandm When I was 5 I discovered I had flight. I jumped off my bed and was in the air a second but then landed on my face the second later...I did I really fly LOL.

I have the ability to fly. However, I have only learned how to fly down. I am still working on flying up and forward.

@Timandm

Haha wow, that sounds like a fun career. I'd love to yell, "MOVE, CRETIN!" while giving some unsuspecting Japanese the boot!

I would never do that to train doors! That's the M.O. of my evil archenemy - DOCTOR DOOR. He enjoys opening train doors to passengers who ignore the 'DO NOT LEAN ON DOOR' sticker plastered on the glass.