Halloween Costume Extravaganza 2012: The Sexy

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inferiorego

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Edited By inferiorego  Staff

Halloween is next week. Are you prepared? So far, we've taken a look at some cool costumes for this year and some pretty darn terrible ones. Now, it's time to check out an age old tradition for some women where wearing as little as possible, for Halloween, is the norm, while completely ruining comic book and video game characters. Last year, we saw some decent looking costumes and some downright terrible ones. 2012 is a new year, though.

This year's crop of winners range from utterly ridiculous to mind numbing madness. These costumes are more than just professions with the word "sexy" attached: sexy nurse, sexy librarian, sexy teacher, sexy butcher, etc. These are costumes from the world of nerd, slimmed down and turned into many young boy's awkward fantasy.

Chucky as a Hot Chick. Yeah... I'm Confused too.

I wonder how I would look in this? Other than sexy, I mean.
I wonder how I would look in this? Other than sexy, I mean.

Well, now I've seen everything. This costume is wrong for a number a reasons. To start, this costume is based on a character that is 24 years old. Sure, there's been a few sequels, even reaching into the 2000s, and another one coming out next year, but how many people actually remember Chucky? When you think of horror movie monsters, Freddy, Jason, Michael Meyers, Leatherface, and Pinhead come to mind, but Chucky? Not so much.

Apparently, women just want to be sexy versions of male characters. This is a repeating trend you'll see here. For the pretty cheap price of $35, you get the fake overalls and the striped shirt underneath. That's the reason it's only $35, I guess. Sadly, you'll have to find your own go-go boots, thigh highs, and wig, in order to truly pull this costume off, if you plan on vaguely resembling this character.

This costume is incredibly close to being completely unrecognizable. Sure, it says "Good Guys," which was the name of the toy line that serial killer, Charles "Chucky" Lee Ray found his soul trapped into, on the overalls, but unless you're explaining the costume to everyone you see, most people are just going to think you're dressing up as "Sexy Axe Murderer."

  • Adaptation from original character: 4
  • Sexiness: 7
  • Amount of times you'll have to explain who you are when wearing this: 45
  • Overall: 6/10

Hipster Cowboy's Girlfriend

That's not a proper stance when holding a katana! You're going to hurt someone!
That's not a proper stance when holding a katana! You're going to hurt someone!

If you remember last week, I mentioned how much I hate the idea of wearing t-shirts as costumes, including a Woody, from Toy Story, shirt which I labeled "Hipster Cowboy." Until now, I've only seen these marketed towards men. Well, a new day is upon us as we catch the first glimpse of t-shirt costume made for women who are too lazy to buy an actual costume.

For $25, you too can become a Ninja Turtle, kinda. You'll still have to buy your own weapon, and apparently, you don't need the mask, but you can be a Ninja Turtle. When you purchase this, you get that sweet shirt dress, so that's why it's so cheap. After buying a weapon, you just need to find three other friends who also don't care about Halloween, but if you're the type of person who thinks this costume is a good idea, then you probably have tons of lame friends with the same mindset.

It's pretty recognizable, but only because it says "TMNT" on the belt. If it weren't for that, I'd have no clue who you were representing. A few of you may be thinking that this costume isn't sexy, but I say otherwise. It looks like something you'd (well, not me... a lady) would wear to bed, which in my eyes, ups the sexiness level like 75%. You don't have to show everything off in order to be sexy.

  • Adaptation from original character: 6
  • Sexiness: 7
  • Fact she's dating Hipster Cowboy: -12
  • Overall: 7/10

A Whole Lot of Sassy!

No Caption Provided

"Oh no you didn't! Talk to the hand because the face don't understand! You ain't all that and a bag of chips!" These are the things I expect the person wearing this costume to say when I am in their presence because this is one sassy Bumblebee costume. Don't hate the player, hate the game because this is marketed as the Transformers Sassy Bumblebee Costume, and this is how they describe it: "This sassy costume is hot - be careful - you never know who might get stung! Be a busy Bumblebee - did you know Bumblebee is highly agile, warm-hearted and human-friendly?" What?

Sorry to burst all your sassy-bubbles, but this $60 costume is sold out. The costume comes with everything but the shoes in order to make you look like a Christmas tree that received the Midas touch. Sassy pose is not included with the price of the costume. You have to provide that yourself.

If it weren't for the Autobot logo on her dome, I would have guessed "Sassy Two-Handled Tea Pot" or "Sassy Oscar Award." This is one of the worst costume adaptations I've ever seen, and because of that, it brings down the sexiness level quite a bit. I know you're thinking "Why is it on this list, then?" Because it's ridiculous and it needs to be talked about. Everything about this costume is laughable. It makes no sense. Do they people who made this costume know that Bumblebee is yellow, not gold? Maybe a sassy version of yellow is gold?

  • Adaptation from original character: 0
  • Sexiness: 4
  • Number of times I wrote "Sassy": 9
  • Overall: 5/10

Do You Have to Get Punched in Both Eyes to Wear this?

Your safe word is
Your safe word is "ouch."

Riddle me this: When does the Riddler wear a dress? When he's dressed to kill! Sorry, I'm awful with making up riddles. The first thing I noticed on this model were the black eyes, or whatever you want to call them. The second thing I noticed was this was the first time a male character has a costume for a female that works. Sure, it's a bit weird, but hey, it looks a whole lot better than everything else we've seen so far. This costume also boasts the most pointless tie every committed to cloth. It's the exact opposite of what a tie should be.

The costume you see comes with everything you see here except for the shoes and apparently the question mark mini-cane. That's a bummer, since the mini-cane is pretty dang sweet. The costume costs $55, but sadly, just like old sassy gold skirt, this too is sold out.

Finally, we have a costume that I can look at and recognize right away, sure it looks a bit like a dominatrix celebrating St Patrick's Day, but you get the point. It's a solid adaptation, and on top of that, it's pretty darn sexy, if you're into S&M, I guess. Apparently, it doesn't fit too well, as stated in a couple of reviews, but almost every costume review makes that same point.

  • Adaptation from original character: 8
  • Sexiness: 8
  • Number of black eyes you need to wear this: 0
  • Overall: 8/10

I'mma Gonna Win!

Erotic crossing guard.
Erotic crossing guard.

This leads us to this little beauty. I can't tell you how many times, in my own life, I've been sitting around, playing Super Mario Bros and said to myself, "I would enjoy this game so much more if they just found a way to make Mario sexy." Alas, my wishes have come true as we catch a glimpse at Heroic Maria Costume. Stomping on Goombas is no longer a job for an overweight, hairy plumber! Now, and woman, in an awkwardly short skirt, can do it.

For $40, and yes, there are still Maria costumes available, you can own this delight of a costume. When you purchase this item, you will receive the dress, the hat, the gloves, and a mustache necklace. Wait. A mustache necklace? So, women have no problem dressing up as a sexy version of a male character, but they draw the line at wearing fake mustaches? There's no problem with portraying an over-weight plumber, who goes from castle to caste, jumping on turtles, in order to save a Princess who is never where you think she is, but a little extra hair on their upper-lip is a no-no?

Even though this costume burns my inner child with acid made of nightmares and Justin Bieber, the one good thing you can say is that you know it's based off of Mario, even though she's not wearing a mustache. Out of all the costumes, this costumes has the best adaptation. On the down side, I didn't know there was a demand for a female version of Nintendo's mascot.

  • Adaptation from original character: 9
  • Sexiness: 6
  • Mustaches on your face: 0
  • Overall: 8/10

Well, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to shake your head in disbelief at some bizarre costumes for women this year. Here's the thing though, if you want to dress like a character you like that is the opposite sex, why not just go for it? If you like Black Cat and want to dress as her, go for it! If you're a lady and like Mario, dress as Mario! It's Halloween! Who cares if you cross-dress. It doesn't matter. I say go all-in. I'm sorry I tried to put some sort of life lesson into this write-up.

What do you guys think of these costumes? Would you wear any of them? (I would)

Mat "Inferiorego" Elfring is a writer, teacher, comedian, and founder of the Barely Watchable Network. Follow him onthe twitter.

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FatFriar_16

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#1  Edited By FatFriar_16
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G_Money_Christmas

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#2  Edited By G_Money_Christmas

My girlfriend bought the Chucky one last year... It was pretty sexy but the shirt was really scratchy.

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Baron_Emo

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#3  Edited By Baron_Emo
No Caption Provided
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Dark_Vengeance_

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#4  Edited By Dark_Vengeance_

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#5  Edited By k4tzm4n  Moderator

Michelangelo... holding a katana?! 
 
DEAR GOD!  I'M IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

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Cavemold

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#7  Edited By Cavemold

ms mario can show her plumber butt anytime

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doordoor123

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#8  Edited By doordoor123

@k4tzm4n said:

Michelangelo... holding a katana?! DEAR GOD! I'M IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

The person that put a katana in her hands deserves to be scorned for all of eternity... or at least until we forget.

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Trodorne

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#9  Edited By Trodorne

someone dressing up as Babs being Batgirl or Oracle would be sexy indeed. plus it would go with my nightwing costume ;)

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lykopis

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#10  Edited By lykopis

I just can't get over the moustache necklace...

And honestly, the TMNT had me confused, I was like --- why would anyone want to wear a tank dress with a picture of intestines on the front...

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EdwardWindsor

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#11  Edited By EdwardWindsor

Sexiest costume I have seen was a Jean grey dark Phoenix back in my uni days.

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zackattack529

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#12  Edited By zackattack529

*yawn.

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cmaprice

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#13  Edited By cmaprice

"Do You Have to Get Punched in Both Eyes to Wear this?"
Nope. If you get punched in the nose, both eyes will bruise.
 
Trade secret.

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YourNeighborhoodComicGeek

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You misspelled Adaptation in all of them except the first one. (just a heads up)

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StMichalofWilson

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#15  Edited By StMichalofWilson

@DarkKnightDetective said:

Hell yeah!!!

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Doctor!!!!!

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#16  Edited By Doctor!!!!!

This reminds me... I need to update my list!

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Avenging-X-Bolt

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#17  Edited By Avenging-X-Bolt

That costume is almost enough to break my crippling fear of Chucky........almost.

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tupiaz

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#18  Edited By tupiaz

Why just don't make a sexy costume from all the (sexy) female charactes out there. There is a lot of hot female characters out there. Top of my mind Catwoman, Black Cat, Poison Ivy, Black widow, Elektra. Oh well you get the idea.

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longbowhunter

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#19  Edited By longbowhunter

Since when do nice ladies need a reason like a holiday to wear something trashy? That kinda stuff never makes sense to me. Like when alcoholics get hyped for St. Paddy's day. Isn't it just another day for them?

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#20  Edited By therafalee
No Caption Provided
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#21  Edited By No_Name_

@therafalee said:

No Caption Provided

HAHAHA THIS

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longbowhunter

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#22  Edited By longbowhunter

Anyone caught wearing that really long green tank top thing needs to be promptly murdered and have their body slung into the nearest dumpster. You know in the spirit of Halloween.

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inferiorego

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#23  Edited By inferiorego  Staff

@therafalee said:

No Caption Provided

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA............

.......

.

.

.

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

You just won the internet.

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danhimself

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#24  Edited By danhimself

@longbowhunter said:

Since when do nice ladies need a reason like a holiday to wear something trashy? That kinda stuff never makes sense to me. Like when alcoholics get hyped for St. Paddy's day. Isn't it just another day for them?

it's kind of like an excuse....so when the inevitable happens and someone asks "Why did you get so drunk yesterday?" you can then respond with "Well it was Columbus Day and I was celebrating" instead of "Well it was Tuesday"....it's more of a personal justification thing....I.E. "I'm not an alcoholic because yesterday was a holiday"

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deactivated-6212d9bb8a06e

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On a related note...

Behold: the most disgustingly horrific Batman costume that has ever been spawned.

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#26  Edited By pspin

Fact she's dating Hipster Cowboy: -12

Inferiorego for the win!

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SmoothJammin

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#27  Edited By SmoothJammin

Ms. Scherzinger.... may i just say that you are free to take my innocence whenever you so please. It's yours.

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#28  Edited By Tyrannotaur

While I'm not complaining about this trend of women dressing up as "sexy versions" of characters, What I don't understand are the actual costumes of actual female characters. I was helping my sister find a costume and was surprised at what they were passing for a Batgirl costume.

http://www.spirithalloween.com/images/spirit/products/interactivezoom/processed/01000934.interactive.a.jpg

THIS is meant to be Batgirl? It's not horrible, but I really can't see any of the ladies in the batfamily fighting crime in a dress. Barbara wouldn't, Steph wouldn't and Cass would probably kick your ass if you suggested it.

There is also a Spider Woman who looks nothing like Jessica Drew. She looks closer to May Parker and thats only because of the colors and pattern, and again a random dress. Try web slinging with a dress on. Go on try it out. I hope you remember to wear underwear.

http://ingenre.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/sexy-spider-girl-costume.jpg

Why do guys get accurate costumes (for the most part) and women have to get random nonsense versions of characters? These are iconic characters. Why is Batman represented accurately but Batgirl isn't? Probably because sex sells. Halloween is also one night, so I'm guessing most people don't go for cosplayer levels of accuracy just for a party. That is often more expensive than a 40 dollar Batgirl dress. I just would personally like to see more effort put into making accurate costumes for female characters. Keep doing the Sexy Mario thing if you like, but give batgirl some freakin' pants.

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#29  Edited By Grey56

@lykopis said:

And honestly, the TMNT had me confused, I was like --- why would anyone want to wear a tank dress with a picture of intestines on the front...

This.

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#30  Edited By Blood1991

@ApatheticAvenger said:

@k4tzm4n said:

Michelangelo... holding a katana?! DEAR GOD! I'M IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

Up has become down, left has become right, and Fox News has become credible!

Unacceptable someone give that ignorant girl some nun-chucks

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#31  Edited By RockyRaccoon37

This is gross, lowest common denominator shit you guys.

Try harder next time please.

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#32  Edited By DonFelipe

@DarkKnightDetective said:

The caption is really helpful... NOT!

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RedOwl_1

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#33  Edited By RedOwl_1

@inferiorego said:

@therafalee said:

No Caption Provided

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA............

.......

.

.

.

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

You just won the internet.

ALL THE INTERNET

*ROFL*

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dmkicksballs13

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#34  Edited By dmkicksballs13

I'm so confused when it comes to Halloween, women always want to dress as men. There are plenty of other pop culture icons that are woman and slutty, Power Girl, Metroid, etc.

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sweatboy

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#35  Edited By sweatboy

lol. great read. Gotta love inferiorego.

No Caption Provided

Chucky actually really scares me. And i haven't even SEEN the movie. Certainly wouldn't consider Chucky to be "sexy"

On the other hand, Power Ranger shirts on girls are hot. The other day i saw the Red Ranger on the bus. Asked her for her number,.... it got weird

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#36  Edited By Ama_Sama

This article is hysterical, btw, as these costumes really shouldn't exist. Girls who wear costumes like this make me face palm. Seriously, the BS excuse for a TMNT character made me just shake my head. Especially with the cowboy boots [I'm from Oklahoma and all, but really now?]. I kindly urge my fellow female nerds to, if you're dressing up for Halloween this year [or any year, for that matter], not to cop-out with one of these half-ass'd excuses for "sexy" costumes. The Dark Knight Rises, skin-tight version of Catwoman's costume? Heck, even the leggy Zatanna costume with fishnet stockings for the boys while "the girls" stay nicely hidden: Now that's sexy... without the risk of stuff popping out of awkward places. As for a tank top dress with a deformed turtle shell on the stomach that probably won't cover your tushy if you decide to dance at some madly awesome party? Another, choice "s-word" comes to mind... But that's just me and my opinion. ;3

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Ama_Sama

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#37  Edited By Ama_Sama

@comicfan123 said:

On a related note...

Behold: the most disgustingly horrific Batman costume that has ever been spawned.

Oh, God! xD You can tell just how terrible this is by looking at the poor kid's face. I don't think that's him trying to get into the "dark and serious" character. It looks more like he's drowning in a black, trash bag poncho.

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RedheadedAtrocitus

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Hot costumes no doubt, but still, once again it just shows you how sexy doesn't help explain an outfit to satisfaction. Most of these are so vague on who its supposed to portray that unless you have it explained, most wouldn't know who these models are portraying. Sexy? Yes. Silly? Most definitely.

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Eyz

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#39  Edited By Eyz

@inferiorego said:

@therafalee said:

No Caption Provided

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA............

.......

.

.

.

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

You just won the internet.

Epic!

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Bruxae

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#40  Edited By Bruxae

The Chucky one is AWESOME, coming from a big horror and Chucky fan.