Last week, we took a look at some really cool looking costumes that were new for 2011. Man, those were some awesome Halloween costumes, weren't they? Sadly, it was brought to my attention that the Chun-Li costume was a horrible piece of garbage. I thought it looked insanely cool, but apparently, people online who bought the costume said some not-so-nice things about it.
The dress itself - is paper thin, almost something like a cheap flag would be made out of. It does not fit proportionately, therefore isn't very flattering.
Please dont make the mistake I did and purchase this costume. Its not worth it.
The picture on the site looks nothing like the costume.
But we all agree the picture of the costume looks really cool right? That's all I have to go with, and I apologize, but again, the picture is pretty awesome.
In honor of that terrible costume I thought looked awesome, let's take our annual look at some costumes that are terrible. No ratings this time. Just awful costumes. I tried to find some good ones for you guys this year. Costumes I haven't seen in the past. So let's kick this off and make fun of things!
5. Irish Matthew Lesko
Egads! What we have here is a costume from the film Batman Forever... You know, the one with all the fun neon lights and the two Jokers Two-Face and Riddler in it. Sorry, I've always wanted to use the strike-out option... Anyway, you'll never hear anyone ever say "Batman Forever is my favorite Batman movie," unless they've only seen that and Batman & Robin. Not only is it a poor representation of the franchise, but it's a poor representation of its characters. Aside from Riddler being the Joker in a green jumpsuit, he looks way too much like Matthew Lesko to be taken seriously.
This costume comes with left-over Max Headroom hairpiece of doom, a jacket left-over from the Steven Seagal sleepwear collection, those delightful pants and the mask, which is actually attached to the mask. You get all of this for the low, LOW price of $100.
If you do plan on getting this costume for Halloween, get ready to hear these things a lot: "What are you?" and "Oh, aren't you that guy from the Jim Carrey movie? Nothing is more exciting than explaining to people that you're a second tier character from a fifth tier film.
Since Riddler is all about wonderful riddles, I thought I'd leave one for you guys. Riddle me this consumer: What is black, worthless and empty? After buying this costume, your wallet and your soul. Oops, I gave you the answer as well.
4. Apathetic Baseball Fury
Man, I love the movie the Warriors, and I enjoy the comics from Dynamite. It's a classic film about a gang trying to make it home, and one of the coolest gangs in the film is the Baseball Furys. If you're going to go as someone from that film, it HAS to be a member of the Baseball Furys because let's face it, no one wants to go as one of the Orphans. Spoiler alert: Don't mess with the Orphans.
You must be wondering, what do you get when you buy this costume? Prepare for glory! This costume comes with a baseball jersey and pants... That's it. You don't get shoes, the hat, or even the make-up. You get those two items for $54. Not only does this costume look like a foul ball, but it's a bigger rip off than a beer at a Cubs game, and you'll look just as sad.
If you're going as a Baseball Fury, you may as well go all out. Buy your own pants, jersey, and hat. Then put the make-up on yourself. I've even seen Fury costumes that come with a mask. How lazy are you? You may end up spending a couple bucks more, but at least you won't look like the sad man above. If you're going to do it, do it right. Otherwise, you may as just go as one of the Turnbull ACs, and if you do that, people will just mistake you as a neo-nazi.
3. Why Do I Even Bother Going to Costume Parties: The Costume
Green Lantern: An amazing super-hero from DC comics that had a pretty bad (but enjoyable) film come out this past summer. Now, he has his own costume! Well, technically, he's got a buttload of them, but this was the worst of the worst.
Look at this costume. It's lazy, unimaginative, and caters to people who simply don't care about the concept, much like the movie. ZING! It's like a frat boy's perfect costume. "All right, it looks like I'm not trying hard, chicks like Ryan Reynolds so they'll like me, and I still have full mobility to play beer pong."
Looking closer, the shirt looks pretty bad, like someone drew it on with a marker. The mask looks like it was made of cheap CHEAP plastic and the ring looks like you won it out of a 25 cent vending machine. All of this garbage for $20.
I wear comic book shirts like that a lot, but I, like many of you who wear these, never claimed them to be Halloween costumes. This is really for the guy who thinks he's way too cool to dress up for Halloween, but still wants to be let into the costume party. Or maybe he's a bartender who's still working on undergrad, but always changes his major, but everyone truly knows he's lying and hasn't been to college in years, and now that he's in his mid-30s, he's just using the old "paying my way through college" line to try and pick up the 21 year olds that come into his bar. Sadly, no one will get with you "guy with fake elaborate back story" because your costume is awful.
2. Showing Your Kids You Hate Them
What in the heck is this? Look, I know it's supposed to be a Blue Beetle costume, but what was the person thinking that made this piece? Blue Beetle has become a bit more popular, with kids, recently because of his role on the cartoon Batman: Brave and the Bold. With popularity, comes merchandising.
So, this costume comes with the whole jumpsuit and the mask. Are you wowed by its awesome yet? Here comes the tricky part. Many places are selling this for around $18; however, there are just as many selling it for almost $40? $22 more? Does the more expensive version come with a piece of gold in the mask or something because all the costumes look equally terrible.
I don't think I would have known this was Blue Beetle if the website I found it on told me what it was. It looks like pajamas with a mask. Let's call a spade a spade here people. If you're going to dress up as a character, go all out. All you're doing with this costume is ruining all of your kid's hopes and dreams to be whatever they want to be when they grow up. Don't believe me? Follow the time line:
You buy cheap Blue Beetle costume for your son -> Son wears costume -> Everyone points out said costume sucks -> Son cries -> Son gives up on dream of becoming savior of mankind -> Mankind dies.
1. A Sea of Failure (Indiana Jones Costumes)
Wow. Our final garbage costume this year is that of an iconic character who got a generation of people (who all ended up at liberal art colleges) to care about history. Not only that, but Indiana Jones is one of the cinemas coolest characters. So, obviously, there's going to be tons of costumes... After searching, I noticed something: Most of them suck.
Here we have a picture of Indiana Jones in his sweet, traditional costume. It's a simple look: brown hat, brown leather jacket, beige button-up shirt, brown belt with gun holster, brown man-purse, khaki pants and some brown shoes. Pretty easy look, right? Then how did all four of the costumes above completely screw it up?
Costume 1: Black shirt? Also, the words "Indiana Jones" are printed on the jacket. Also, put your collar down, this isn't a New Jersey nightclub.
Costume 2: Colors are a bit off, but... wait... is that a fake chest? Huh? Dr Jones wasn't ripped. He was an "everyman" type character.
Costume 3: Indiana Jones isn't supposed to turn me on.... THIS much.
Costume 4: This one comes close, but again, what's with the fake chest?
To buy any of these costumes, you're going to spend between $20 and $40. The costumes normally include the hat, pants and jacket (or shirt), but none of them include the signature whip, except for the sexy lady one. The problem is that you're paying some shoddy costume company your money to dress up like a normal looking person with a whip.
As a lover of Indiana Jones (A person who admires the character, not someone who slept with him), you shouldn't pony up $40 for one of these cheap costumes. Think about it. You probably already own khaki pants, and everyone's dad owns a brown leather jacket, so all you really need is a whip and the hat. I say put it together yourself. Head to your local Goodwill and pick up the materials. At least you'll be getting quality (used) clothing that won't tear halfway through the night because it's made of old picnic table cloth, or better yet, go as Archie!
What do you guys think of these costumes? Would you wear any of these? How could you make these costumes better, without setting them on fire or dipping them in acid?
Follow Mat "Inferiorego" Elfring's twitters accounts. Why does he have two? He still doesn't know: @inferiorego @thematelfring
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