Good things and Bad things about being The Hulk

Hello. Hulk am aware that some of his fans actually wish they could BE The Hulk. Hulk don't blame you. However, Hulk also want you to be aware that being Hulk have advantages and DISadvantages to it. Here are some now:

Advantages

• You could smash up buildings and cars like they're cardboard (obviously)
• Anyone being a jerk to you at school or at work? Teach them a lesson as Hulk.
• Hulk actually have increased metabolism due to radiation. Hulk could go to McDonald's and order 3 Big Macs and 3 Large Fries, and Hulk wouldn't gain a single pound.
• Hulk no need car to get around because Hulk can jump real high:

Disadvantages

• Army men never leave you alone. They're like the papparazzi and how they never leave celebrities alone. Except papparazzi don't start shooting you with guns
• When Hulk go see movie at theater, Hulk block view of movie for person behind him, causing argument. That why Hulk always sit at very back of theater.
• Severe anger management issues. Sometimes Hulk get angry even when Hulk don't want to.
• Intelligence drops significantly. That why Hulk always talk like this.

And those are some advantages and disadvantages to being Hulk.

Hulk the way you talk is inconsistently simple.

@Decoy Elite said:

Hulk the way you talk is inconsistently simple.

Hulk could look at it that way.

@TheHulk said:

@Decoy Elite said:

Hulk the way you talk is inconsistently simple.

Hulk could look at it that way.

I'd also argue that the significant drop in intelligence isn't always the case.

Remember that time you were a genius?

@Decoy Elite said:

@TheHulk said:

@Decoy Elite said:

Hulk the way you talk is inconsistently simple.

Hulk could look at it that way.

I'd also argue that the significant drop in intelligence isn't always the case.

Remember that time you were a genius?

Oh yeah. Hulk remember. Hulk was very smart.

Wonder if you can turn into Green Scar... Forgive me but:

Hey Hulk! Hows the wife!!

@Jorgevy said:

I think that if Bruce can control Hulk in a more effective way, and also develops more his Bruce persona in terms of super heroing, it could be a really nice and unstoppable character

Hulk would find that very interesting.

@Mr_Winchester said:

Wonder if you can turn into Green Scar... Forgive me but:

Hey Hulk! Hows the wife!!

ewwwwww, BURN!!!

@TheHulk: I'm wondering about certain other things that might be a disadvantage, but I thought you might help clarify the issue... Oh, I mean, Will Hulk answer questions?

1: Bathroom issues.

I assume Hulk has to bathe in a swimming pool... assuming Hulk bathes at all. If he doesn't want to, certainly no one is going to 'make' Hulk bathe.

Toilet issues... Let's face, Hulk. You're just NOT going to fit on a normal sized toilet. Does Hulk have to use the Sierra Desert like it's a sandbox? And, is Hulk's 'waste' so radioactive that it destroys the surrounding environment? I'm not trying to embarrass you, Hulk, but inquiring minds DO want to know.

Flossing - What does Hulk floss with? Does Hulk use adamantium based dental floss?

2: Eating

How much does Hulk have to eat to keep up his figure? How does Hulk even manage to buy enough food?

3: Sonic Booms

Okay, Hulk, I know Marvel doesn't want to admit it, but for any projectile to fly more than 10 miles, it has to be launched with an initial velocity that EXCEEDS the speed of sound. That means there's going to be a sonic boom. I know you know this, Hulk! My question is this, does anyone ever give you a hard time for that? Has one of your sonic booms ever killed anyone or destroyed their home?

4: Landings

Hulk, on one of your ten mile leaps, It's likely that you achieve a height of approximately four miles. That means you have to fall four files. I've read that you weigh about 1400 pounds... So, basically, you are a 1400 pound falling object that will reach terminal velocity before smashing into the earth... How do you manage to avoid leaving HUMONGOUS craters every time you land?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

@Timandm said:

@TheHulk: I'm wondering about certain other things that might be a disadvantage, but I thought you might help clarify the issue... Oh, I mean, Will Hulk answer questions?

1: Bathroom issues.

I assume Hulk has to bathe in a swimming pool... assuming Hulk bathes at all. If he doesn't want to, certainly no one is going to 'make' Hulk bathe.

Toilet issues... Let's face, Hulk. You're just NOT going to fit on a normal sized toilet. Does Hulk have to use the Sierra Desert like it's a sandbox? And, is Hulk's 'waste' so radioactive that it destroys the surrounding environment? I'm not trying to embarrass you, Hulk, but inquiring minds DO want to know.

Flossing - What does Hulk floss with? Does Hulk use adamantium based dental floss?

2: Eating

How much does Hulk have to eat to keep up his figure? How does Hulk even manage to buy enough food?

3: Sonic Booms

Okay, Hulk, I know Marvel doesn't want to admit it, but for any projectile to fly more than 10 miles, it has to be launched with an initial velocity that EXCEEDS the speed of sound. That means there's going to be a sonic boom. I know you know this, Hulk! My question is this, does anyone ever give you a hard time for that? Has one of your sonic booms ever killed anyone or destroyed their home?

4: Landings

Hulk, on one of your ten mile leaps, It's likely that you achieve a height of approximately four miles. That means you have to fall four files. I've read that you weigh about 1400 pounds... So, basically, you are a 1400 pound falling object that will reach terminal velocity before smashing into the earth... How do you manage to avoid leaving HUMONGOUS craters every time you land?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

Well firstly Hulk do bathe. I mean, why would Hulk not bathe.

And about the adamantium floss, puny human right.

Hulk usually eat at least 15,000 calories a day. Hulk usually work at Avengers Helicarrier nowadays, and keeping me healthy costs them a fortune.

The last 2, Hulk don't really know. Hulk just knows he has a way to slow himself down. I mean, if Superman can do it, what stop Hulk from doing it.

@TheHulk: I appreciate your answering my questions, Hulk. You rock... Although...

Well, the Super Man thing... First of all, I didn't realize you read D.C. comics I find that interesting... Secondly, Super Man actually "flies through the air." He chooses and controls his direction and veolocity. So, he CAN choose to slow down...

But YOU, Hulk... Let's be honest. You don't actually "fly." You jump... You're an AMAZING jumper, but you're not someone who can fly... You're like a cannon ball fired into the air. The cannon ball has no control over it's velocity or flight path... (Ask, Banner. He'll tell you I'm right.) And a cannon ball doesn't "fly" to the ground, it FALLS to the ground... Sooo.... Here's what I'm thinking you can use as a good "cover story." One of the amazing abilities gamma radiation gives you, is the ability to 'absorb' the force of impact, whether it is you that is causing the impact, or something else!!! Yes, I KNOW you're going to say, "But that makes no sense in light of the fact that an inelastic collision of a magnitude greater than...blah blah blah" but most people will buy it... I think... I mean they still buy that dead people actually voted for George W. Bush... Right? Or that wearing your pants hanging down so your ass is hanging out is cool? So, this shoudl work. My gift to you... Sure, it's a puny gift, but I'm a puny human, so it makes sense...

So, next....

Hulk, let's talk fashion. Now, if you knew me in real life, you'd know I know next to nothing about fashion. If I ever do go shopping for clothes I have to take my wife or a gay friend with me to help me pick out things that match.... But, YOU, Hulk... Shredded pants? After all these years? REALLY? Come on, now... You've got that puny human genius, Bruce Banner, locked away inside you... He's nearly as intelligent and ingenuous as Reed Richards, is he not??? Why not have him make up a nice suit, composed mostly of unstable molecules... That way, the suit can expand or contract as needed.... Seriously, wouldn't be nice to fight the bad guy once in a while, attired as a, "Sharp Dressed Hulk." (ZZ Top music here.) That would also keep you mp3 player from falling out of your shredded pockets... Think on it...

Next. A Motor cycle. SURE, you can jump everywhere (making sonic booms and craters) but seriously, doesn't the Hulk deserve a kewl freaking motorcycle? I mean, even HAWKEYE got a cycle... And his can fly... Think about, big guy. A HUGE FREAKING MOTOR CYCLE!! The HULK CYCLE...

Next... Condomes... Seriously, dude... (Yes, I said "dude." I like to try to use street vernacular now and then, just to stay in touch with pop culture.) You're The Incredible Hulk... What do you use when you have an intimate liason with a female able to withstand your...um...bulk and power... Not even Magnum's could possible work in your case... So, WHAT then? I can't fathom that adamantium based condomes would have enoug flexibility and allow for sensitivity.... So, please, enlighten us....

@EMH_Bruce said:

@Timandm: I know, I'm not Hulk, but

but??? get a woman and go to the pool? I think my wife would object... Oh sure, I COULD take HER, but then the kids would want to come along and just spoil everything... :-).

You do realise hulk doesn't talk like that anymore

@EMH_Bruce: Ah! I hadn't caught that before. So... that should count as a bath for the Hulk.

@Mr_Winchester: Caiera was the baddest b*tch ever for Hulk. Why oh why did she die.