Geoff Johns and Brian Michael Bendis... Switch bodies!

Win.

Avengers by Geoff Johns

(Page 1 of script)

Captain America: Alright, team meeting guys. Let's get the agenda start-

Ms. Marvel: IMMA KILL EVERY VILLAIN OUT THERE. SEE? CAUSE IM A MANNNNEATTEEERRRR

Captain America: Right. Right, um, that's great Carol but we should-

Ms. Marvel: KISS ME THOR! WE'RE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER - UR SUPER-STRONG AND I HAVE BOO-

Thor: I am dour, fair maiden. See, my villainous brother Loki doth killed my father Odin. Then my brother Balder. Then my sister. I didn't even know thine had a sister. See, it grants me character motivation...

Captain America: Which is great, Thor, really, but perhaps we can focus on-

Ms. Marvel: *points to one member at the table* WHO THE FCK ARE U?

SPLASH PAGE

Obscure-Man: Oh me? Why I'm Obscure Man! I'm here to be rebooted and seem cool and relevant again! This sitting beside is my good friend, Silver Age Man!

Silver Age Man: Egads! Villainy besieges this innocent world, but never fear, citizens, for heroes with truth and justice shall perservere against all odds and look at my primary color tights with their nostalgia. WILLPOOWWAAA--

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off, then tears his ribcage apart, and sits on the corpse until it becomes a gory cube of blood and skin. SPLASH PAGE*

Obscure-Man: Oh no! She's a villain! Shheeeet who saw that coming---

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off. SPLASH PAGE.*

Captain America: Why isn't anyone listening to me!!!

Thor: Because, fair Captain, you have no powers. And thereforeth, you sucketh.

Obscure-Man: Wait, has anything actually happened in this entire issue, because this kinda seems like unnecessary decompress---

(Page 22 of script)

@attatje: I know I did, I was on like page 700

Avengers by Geoff Johns

(Page 1 of script)

Captain America: Alright, team meeting guys. Let's get the agenda start-

Ms. Marvel: IMMA KILL EVERY VILLAIN OUT THERE. SEE? CAUSE IM A MANNNNEATTEEERRRR

Captain America: Right. Right, um, that's great Carol but we should-

Ms. Marvel: KISS ME THOR! WE'RE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER - UR SUPER-STRONG AND I HAVE BOO-

Thor: I am dour, fair maiden. See, my villainous brother Loki doth killed my father Odin. Then my brother Balder. Then my sister. I didn't even know thine had a sister. See, it grants me character motivation...

Captain America: Which is great, Thor, really, but perhaps we can focus on-

Ms. Marvel: *points to one member at the table* WHO THE FCK ARE U?

SPLASH PAGE

Obscure-Man: Oh me? Why I'm Obscure Man! I'm here to be rebooted and seem cool and relevant again! This sitting beside is my good friend, Silver Age Man!

Silver Age Man: Egads! Villainy besieges this innocent world, but never fear, citizens, for heroes with truth and justice shall perservere against all odds and look at my primary color tights with their nostalgia. WILLPOOWWAAA--

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off, then tears his ribcage apart, and sits on the corpse until it becomes a gory cube of blood and skin. SPLASH PAGE*

Obscure-Man: Oh no! She's a villain! Shheeeet who saw that coming---

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off. SPLASH PAGE.*

Captain America: Why isn't anyone listening to me!!!

Thor: Because, fair Captain, you have no powers. And thereforeth, you sucketh.

Obscure-Man: Wait, has anything actually happened in this entire issue, because this kinda seems like unnecessary decompress---

(Page 22 of script)

Is this event being written by Dan Slott?

Marvel becomes good.

Justice League by Brian Bendis

(Page 1 of script)

Superman: Hey guys, Zod's attacking.

Batman: Zod?

Superman: Zod. General?

Batman: Oh...General Zod. The one with-

Superman: Yes, the one with the beard. That Zod.

Batman: Zod.

(Page 143 of script)

Batman: Zod. Zod. Right, better call in the League.

Superman: The whole League?

Batman: The whole League. I mean, it is Zod, right?

Superman: It is Zod.

Batman: So the whole League should be able to handle Zod.

Superman: They should.

Batman: Zod.

(Page 2897 of script)

Zod: SUPERMAN! THIS PLANET SHALL BURN IN MY NAME?

Green Lantern: He sounds serious.

Flash: Who?

Green Lantern: Zod. Red eyes? Kryptonian?

Flash: Oh, he's not Kryptonian anymore. He's actually a metahuman. Who was exposed to the Speed Force. And is member of the Forever People. And has a dark side. Called Doz. The Doz.

Green Lantern: The Doz?

Flash: The Doz.

Zod: NOT ONLY SHALL THIS PLANET BURN IN MY NAME....IT SHALL FCKIN BURN IN MY NAME! YOU HEAR ME, SUPERMAN? YOU HEAR THE GRITTY REALISM IN MY VOICE SUPERMAN? FCK FCK FCK FCK IMMA SKRULLLLLL

Avengers by Geoff Johns

(Page 1 of script)

Captain America: Alright, team meeting guys. Let's get the agenda start-

Ms. Marvel: IMMA KILL EVERY VILLAIN OUT THERE. SEE? CAUSE IM A MANNNNEATTEEERRRR

Captain America: Right. Right, um, that's great Carol but we should-

Ms. Marvel: KISS ME THOR! WE'RE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER - UR SUPER-STRONG AND I HAVE BOO-

Thor: I am dour, fair maiden. See, my villainous brother Loki doth killed my father Odin. Then my brother Balder. Then my sister. I didn't even know thine had a sister. See, it grants me character motivation...

Captain America: Which is great, Thor, really, but perhaps we can focus on-

Ms. Marvel: *points to one member at the table* WHO THE FCK ARE U?

SPLASH PAGE

Obscure-Man: Oh me? Why I'm Obscure Man! I'm here to be rebooted and seem cool and relevant again! This sitting beside is my good friend, Silver Age Man!

Silver Age Man: Egads! Villainy besieges this innocent world, but never fear, citizens, for heroes with truth and justice shall perservere against all odds and look at my primary color tights with their nostalgia. WILLPOOWWAAA--

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off, then tears his ribcage apart, and sits on the corpse until it becomes a gory cube of blood and skin. SPLASH PAGE*

Obscure-Man: Oh no! She's a villain! Shheeeet who saw that coming---

*Ms. Marvel rips his head off. SPLASH PAGE.*

Captain America: Why isn't anyone listening to me!!!

Thor: Because, fair Captain, you have no powers. And thereforeth, you sucketh.

Obscure-Man: Wait, has anything actually happened in this entire issue, because this kinda seems like unnecessary decompress---

(Page 22 of script)

@wolverine08 @lvenger

Haha, I still remember this thread. Somewhere out there in a parallel universe, there's a Veshark who's a standup comic (ooh pun!).

HAHA comic...cuz like this is a comic book website...and like stand up comic. Classic.

@veshark: I'm sure this universe's Veshark might just make a fine comic too with the right material :P

Thor: I am dour, fair maiden. See, my villainous brother Loki doth killed my father Odin. Then my brother Balder. Then my sister. I didn't even know thine had a sister. See, it grants me character motivation...

The irony is that Geoff John's run on the avengers was very good :-P

Marvel becomes good.