There was a thread on this after asm, but now after watching asm 2, i think aunt May does know. The lizard battle in the first one was a giveaway. But now, she says that sometimes people hide stuff from others, a side of them, even from people they love. Then there was the laundry. Then you have to consider the pictures sold to the bugle, and of course the chimney. Ultimately, i think she does know.
Does aunt May know? Warning:spoilers
I think she's waiting for Peter to tell her when he's ready. She probably figured it out in TASM when Peter left the room angrily after it was announced on TV that there was an arrest warrant out for Spider-Man. She definitely questioned him a lot less on what he was doing in TASM2, so I'm pretty sure she knows. She didn't even question why he was so late to his graduation.
I'm pretty sure that Aunt May in the original trilogy knew as well--I think she figured it when Peter told her the truth about Uncle Ben's death.
Yea, Aunt May knows like what @ryagan was saying. She is just waiting for him to tell her when he is ready.
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