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Secrets, lies, and a starlet's funeral.
Waynes, bats, and...teen drama!
Find out the secrets of the Miner's Journal in this half comic/half prose issue.
Wolverine walked out of the bar into the street.
Superman fries him.
Batman walks out with leftovers from the bat-buffet.
He trips on a bug and dies.
He wakes up in hell with his parents.
His parents turn out to be Rogue and Magneto.
he asks what they did to get there
They showed Batman their sex tape.....
...which featured a threesome with Gambit
, which later featured Emma Frost.
who, when Batman's parents were still alive, was severely underage
Batman questioned if all of this was real, then his father slapped him across the face.
Near the end of the tape was Supergirl....and Vegeta.
Then Batman woke up in the hospital, he was KO'd when he fell
Then woke up and found out he was Splinter, father to 4 Ninja Turtles.
Who would only learn that he was in one of MM's illusions
who was revealed to be Xorn disguised as Martian Manhunter
who then revealed he was Xorn disguised as Magneto
who found out about Ultimate Wanda and Pietro
doing things which would shock
Charles Xavier until he had to
answer a booty call from Lilandra
Where he caught the space clap......
Batman then killed lilandra for giving him the clap
Spider-Man beat the crap out of Batman and now it's impossible for him to get payback on Spider-Man no matter what..
because Spider-Man was killed horribly by Superman when he found out..
The avengers are now pressing charges against superman with matt murdock and Jen walters as their lawyers.
But then the Avengers randomly drop the charges because they realize they prefer not having Spidey in the Avengers. They then proceed to kick out Logan, too.
So Logan and Spidy join the Justice League.
But then they realize SPIDER-MAN IS DEAD.
So the JLA gathered with Logan to remove the Lobster from his face.
Then superman caught the /b/ cancer.
enraged by his disease, Superman goes on a murderous rampage
When suddenly a wild kryptonite appears
and from that burp comes Dale gribble
and throws his glasses at Superman's pinky toe
and then proceeds to strangle Superman to death, and then goes on to..
morph back into a skrull wearing a tutu
then becomes the subject of a whole bunch of Spider-man's puns...
EDIT: oh, wait he died...
Then Storm appears and reveals she is pregnant.
And the father is Dale Gribble, oops.
Then it turns out Hank Hill 'died' in a propane explosion.........
It was all a part of Batman's plan.
Then Hank Hill returns as SuperHero ProPain and swears revenge on Black Panther for the death of Dale.
Beacuse ant-man wanted to ruin the character.
In the bushes, Pikachu appears with a drunk and old Ash.
Who teams up with a old fat megaman and Corey Feldman
To stop Bakura from obtaining Yugi's leather pants and
Use your keyboard!
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