Tom's Diary: Cliche The Killer Stories

@@[This is a 30 minute Parodypasta designed to picket horror movie and creepypasta tropes used in the past.]

[This story ONLY has one chapter]

Tom's Diary!

Based on partially true events surrounding 'The Cliché Murders'

Remember that man who used to stalk the rural cities of Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania that directly brutally and satanically murdered 666 innocent people and became the goddamn devil himself before I KILLED HIM! Yes I'm that guy who killed that one serial killer who was stalking the mid-eastern states who's name you can't remember. It's John Gringrasshole! And The Killer's name is Cliché.

I'll start my story when he killed my 13 friends.

Aaron, Alex, Becky, Briana, Butterbutt (Yes that's HIS name), Devin (Pretty close to 'Devil'), David, Damion, Emon, Florida, Hink, Lui, Mike, Sherriff Michaels (His Mom named him Sherriff because after his graduation she'd promote him to 'Sherriff' of the sad irony of that situation he didn't even live to be 18)

So my thirteen friends and I were having an epic solid graduation part then for no reason the lights went out but the generator kicked in then the generator went out.

Hink went outside bare foot and she said "Johnny is that you jerkin off over there in those bushes again" - Hink soon herd wild loud noises and the bushes so she pulled her gun from her holster and shot multiple - several 5" inch wide bullets into bushes without reloading there behind the bushes was a lost mute beat up nearly dead old man who's last words were 'I hope you didn't waste all of your bullets on me because Cliché is coming'

We all ran outside not caring for the deceased old man but for catching and killing Cliché.

We all pulled out our guns and broke up into 7 groups Becky and I were paired together and it was awesome

Becky was fat, hot, and a former emo.

Hink and Lui were were on a team; Hink was a lesbo and Lui was a queer = good combo?

Everyone else was on one big team 9 person team

Becky and I were token by surprise when Cliché sneak attacked me by impaling me to Florida's bed, he stabbed me through my eye as becky threw gasoline on Cliché and called for Hink since he was convientally 2 feet from (below the window) where I and Becky were assaulted, Hink made upstairs to see Cliché; He was tall, he whore a black dress, his face was literally a clown's face, beneath his face was a skeleton w/no muscle his right arm was an extending chainsaw that shot fire and beneath that chainsaw was a hook made of metal, his left was robotic and super strong, Cliché pulled the spear from my bck as he noticed he had two lesbo challengers, after Lui was done looking at Hink she fired the gun piercing clichés skin and continued firing until her clip was gone there was blood everywhere, Hink and Becky panicked since they didn't hear from the reast of the group and I was dead clice was dead the old man was dead and they think they'd be framed since they were covered inn blood.

Becky and Hink went downstairs so they could tell police their stories on the phone when the got to the prt where they said 'Cliché said no i'm not they killed at 13 teenagers'

Cliché procceded to tear Hink in half with his 36 chainsaw blade 'Next time you kill a man, make sure he's dead' Cliché said right before stabed him through his goddamn mouth telling him to before what he wishes for as he mouth split from his head I smashed it just to be sure.

Cliché is in hell and it was a happy ending.

@cbishop, @batkevin74, and @wildvine; The Most Experienced Elite Professional Reviewing Leaders That Have Surfed The Pages of Comic VIne.com tell me your opinion to short story.

@planetcaptainamerica: lol, no need to stroke the ego- just give a call out. I am going to bed soon, but will read this later for sure.

@planetcaptainamerica: Wow what am I chopped liver?

There's a few spelling mistakes in here (such as wore being whore). In addition you could use some commas in some of the sentences, as they read a little long. All in all it needs a little work to improve it, but it's nothing that a quick proofread/edit session or a beta reader couldn't sold. The content was interesting, and at times a little too-over-the-top, although I assume this is also part of the modern horror movie. Keep up the good work.

Oopsye woopsey McKoopsey (@planetcaptainamerica - me) had forgot to add on my favorite kitty cat - @impurestcheese to review my brand new over-the-top inane quickly/intentionally badly written inconsistent, filler Parodypasta.

Glad you somehow enjoyed a story was INTENDED to BAD!

@planetcaptainamerica: You lost me not quite halfway through. Sorry, no interest in reading a story like this.

@planetcaptainamerica: Actually I was just being polite, it's a problem I have being British

GOOD! Let the brutal honest hatred fill through your veins.

I don't know what you're trying to achieve with this story.

Did you write it in a hurry and are going to edit it into a readable story later? As a rough draft, and geez is it rough, you've got some okay ideas but it's just seemingly dished up like a puppy who has done a poo on the carpet and is very proud of itself.

Re-read it again yourself.