#1 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

**All charcters owned by DC Comics. This story is rated m, like most good comics because it has violence and death. This story is based on the original Superman story "Reign of The Supermen' where Superman was a bald villain."

The Takedown

The ruins of Arkham Asylum, Gotham City

“Did you get it?” whispered Beast Boy nervously looking around. His shape shifted constantly from a rabbit, a bat and fennec fox

Robin threw the leather bound journal onto the ground “Just where I expected my father to leave it. And why are you whispering?”

“Superman you idiot!” snapped Beast Boy as he changed into a chimp and latched onto Robin’s collar

“He’s not here”

“How do you know?”

“Donna sent her signal, meaning that she and her team are dead or dying as we speak. Hence the reason we were able to come back here to Arkham and get the book without him watching” Robin walked off towards his customised bike

“Donna’s dead?” asked Garth turning into hawk “I’m gonna kill that kryptonian bastard!”

Robin snatched Beast Boy out of the air and drew him to eye level “Garth. You’ll get your chance. But I’m going to kill him. He killed my father. Bastard even killed Pennyworth”

Garth morphed into human form and stood eye to eye with Robin “We’ll stop him Damien”

“Not yet. We need a few more things”

Metropolis

Superman tore Kid Devil in half like a piece of paper as Donna Troy, Blue Beetle, Mr Freeze, Red Tornado and Plasmus watched on in horror! He slowly floated to the ground

“He he he, next” snarled Superman holding a half in each hand, blood splattered across his face

Mr Freeze opened up with his freeze cannon. Superman easily parried the ray with his eye beams “Victor I’ve fought you twice in my life, this third time will be your last” the laser doubled in power and ferocity and punched a hole through the former villain’s chest

Red Tornado fired a localised vortex at the once greatest hero. Superman flung half of Kid Devil at the android, knocking it backwards. Plasmus flung a glob of protoplasm catching Superman in the face

Superman roared in shock, windows exploded at the shockwave of his voice

“Again!” screamed Donna as she flew straight up above Superman

Plasmus flung more but it did nothing more than burn holes in the iconic blue uniform

“You caught me by surprise Plasmus” growled Superman “Right in my eyes, it actually stung” Superman took a deep breath and blew a hurricane stripping Plasmus down to his skeleton, the protoplasm peeling off his body like a leper in a wind tunnel

Red Tornado used the wind and threw Superman up into the air as Donna came down from the heavens like a bolt of lightning smashing her fist into Superman’s face. CRACK! Donna’s hand broke but she continued to pound away

“By the gods I swear you’ll pay for what you did to Diana!” she screamed chopping Superman across the throat “You’re a monster!” She slammed her forehead into his nose

“It was her or me Donna” replied Superman grabbing Donna by the wrist “I chose her!” Superman fired his eye beams and severed Donna’s right arm at the shoulder. He then smacked her across the face with the severed limb

“NO!” Red Tornado flew in to save Donna but Superman was quicker. Superman put his fist through Red Tornado’s forehead and carved a channel through it and out his lower back. Red Tornado collapsed a broken hunk of metal and circuitry.

“Diana went out fighting” said Superman “Like the warrior princess she was”

Donna collapsed on her knees, holding the cauterised stump, tears streaming down her face

“Didn’t one of my robots kill you?” asked Superman sarcastically as he flicked the remnants of Red Tornado off his fingers

“Back off!” yelled Blue Beetle. His suit had created a veritable arsenal of guns and pointing them at Superman

“Really Jaime?” laughed Superman “I think I’d be more scared if Ted was pointing his flare gun at me. You...” Superman didn’t finish his sentence as Blue Beetle opened fire; Superman dodged and ended up behind the azure hero “Shot at me with kryptonite radiation!” Superman grabbed the symbiote on Jaime’s spine and reefed it off in one quick motion. With his other hand Superman pulled Jaime’s head off his body

“Why? Why you bastard?” cried Donna as she staggered to her feet, her left hand reaching into her belt

“Because I can, because you’re all beneath me and because I’m not the Superman you think I am” He slowly pulled off his hair to reveal a clean bald head

“Lex?”

“No. You’ve been to other realities, other dimensions. I’m Superman but not from around here. And the first I did was kill me when got here. Now I’m going to kill all of you, especially those most dangerous. Like Batman. Like Wonder Woman. Martian Manhunter”

“Like me” Donna revealed a black diamond in her hand “I’m dangerous Clark and by the gods am I angry!”

Donna gripped the diamond and her body rippled with demonic energy releasing Eclipso into her

“Hello Superman” her voice crackled “Miss me” A blast of purple eldritch energy shot from her hand slamming into his chest “I didn’t want to embrace the darkness, but it feels oh so good”

Donna fired another blast knocking the man of steel to his knees “Always had a problem with magic didn’t you blue? And with me?” Another burst flattened him to the ground “I can’t wait til I possess you again!”

“NEVER!” Superman opened his eyes wide and melted Donna into a molten slag pile of purple crystal. Superman walked towards the statue “I have no idea how you keep coming back Eclipso...I don’t actually care. As you for Donna, you’re a poor man’s Wonder Woman” Superman raised his fist and pulverized the statute into glitter

Superman caught his breath and then bathed the area in X-rays. Happy with the results he flew off into the air

Gorilla City, Africa

Damien threw the journal onto the table “Did you get the other things?”

Professor Zoom threw the katana onto the table “Piece of cake”

“Don’t get smart Thawne” snapped Hawkgirl as she placed her pouch onto the table

“The more we bicker, the less gets done and more of us die” stated Black Manta as he placed a triangle onto the table

“Where’s Deathstroke?” asked Damien looking around the old gorilla council chamber

“Not back yet obviously” snapped Professor Zoom as he shimmered at hyperspeed

“My father had a way to deal with the Flash, I’m sure it’ll work on you. And unlike my father I’ll kill you” stated Damien as his locked eyes on the yellow clad speedster “Your move”

Zoom came to a dead stop. The air went silent. The atmosphere tensed.

Beast Boy changed into a giant squid “Okay people break up the alpha male party. Superman is the reason we’re here. Any other squabbles are like fifty two minutes ago, forgotten”

“Finally you get a brain Garth” said Deathstroke as he entered the room and threw a crystal cane onto the table, with a hand attached to it

“Oh my god!” shrieked Beast Boy

“Mr Z didn’t want to give up his protection for the greater good” said Deathstroke “I persuaded him”

“Do we have everything?” asked Hawkgirl as she removed her helmet

Robin counted them down “Mr Z’s crystal, Katana’s katana, my father’s journal, Angle Man’s mystical triangle and if you got the...”

“I got the gems” growled Hawkgirl as she emptied her pouch. Several pieces of gemstone; black, blue, red and green

“Fascinating” said Zoom as he inspected each at high speed

“So Robin, what do we do next?” asked Deathstroke

“We need one final piece for our plan and then we go kill Superman” said Robin bluntly as he gathered up the items.

Suddenly a klaxon alarm went off “He’s coming” shouted Black Manta

“Go!” yelled Robin punching in coordinates into his belt and teleporting away. The other’s followed suit except Zoom who shot away at near light speed. Black Manta remained as Superman crashed through the roof into the chamber

“Clever hiding place, but Garth has really got to keep his voice down. I heard his girlish scream from the upper atmosphere”

“I’ll tell him that” said Black Manta "After I deal with you"

“And what do YOU plan on doing? You’re the villain of one of the lamest heroes in any dimension. What are you going to do? Slap me with fish?”

“No I had my helmet modified to a design that Steel was working on before you threw him into the Sun” Black Manta fired a beam from his eyes hitting Superman in the face. Superman screamed! “Red kryptonite lenses! It’s synthetic but it hurts doesn’t it!” Manta fired an electrical blast from his wrist as well “I’m sure I can’t kill you but I’ll hurt you. Just like you hurt me, taking away my Arthur!” Black Manta watched as Superman writhed in pain “He was mine! Not yours. How dare you!?! Arthur was mine!” Black Manta raised his trident

Superman slammed his hands together shattering the lenses into Black Manta’s face. Superman grabbed the trident his fallen opponent and impaled Black Manta on it, pinning him to the wall.

“You and Arthur...I never knew” said Superman wiping blood from his nose “But so far you’ve actually hurt me. A man in a scuba suit” Superman removed the trident and reinserted it into Manta’s chest under his clavicle “Now tell me a story”

End part 1

#2 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

Old JLA Satellite, 22300 miles above the Earth

“How did we get compromised?” yelled Deathstroke as he ‘ported in

“He’s Superman!” Robin yelled back “He can hear clouds scrape together! Now who’s left?”

“I don’t see Manta” huffed Beast Boy as he shifted into a gorilla “Or Zoom”

“Shame about Black Manta” said Hawkgirl “I don’t care if Z..”

“Miss me” said Professor Zoom as he streaked into the room “I just searched this place top to bottom just in case he was waiting here for us. Am I the only smart person here?”

“No, you’re just the fastest” snipped Robin

“So what’s the rest of the plan boy wonder?” asked Deathstroke as he peeled his mask off “Hide here in space so big blue can’t hear us?”

“For the moment yes!” snapped Robin staring at the mercenary for hire in his good eye “Do you think I like this?!? Running, hiding like an animal! Well we have too! That alien can see through the planet! He can knock it off its axis if he put his mind to it! The only reason we’re alive is because we all ran. If you want to go out in a blaze of glory by all means do! But I intend to survive and I intend to kill that outer space bastard!”

The low buzzing of the oxygen scrubbers was the only sound. Deathstroke slowly stroked his beard and exhaled calmly

“So what’s the plan?” he asked again “Because honestly Damien, I’m scared. I could take all of you in this room in a heartbeat, I fought your father on numerous occasions and beat him, I’ve smacked heads with every do-gooder league, society, titan and villain. And out of all of them, Superman’s the one person I can’t stop! So what’s the plan...please”

Robin opened up the leather bound journal and placed it on the table. The group leaned forward and stared at the page

“Holy holocaust bat-boy!” exclaimed Beast Boy

“And people think I’m crazy” laughed Zoom

End Part 2, more to come soon

#3 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1630 posts) - - Show Bio

Why has this gem been hiding, forgotton down the back of the fan-fic department? Is this some of your early work, due to the lack of comments; it seems that way? Are you going to have more? I'd like to see what Robin has planned that Zoom thinks is insane. Good work

#4 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Wow! I had forgotten about this....I should really get back and finish this

Hey Here's some really ancient history of mine, what do you think?

#5 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: As usual, I like it!

#6 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (834 posts) - - Show Bio

Noice!

#7 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

@tomdickharry1984: Thanks

#8 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio
#9 Posted by cbishop (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Added to my FF Long Box - Authors. :)

You really think this is a bad story? The only major problem I see with it is that you didn't finish it, like too many of your stories. :P

I think the blood and gore is realistic for an evil Superman, but I tend to shy away from describing every detail of a bloodbath. I tend to go back and look at any bloody scene I write and think it comes off more as "going for shock value" than as good writing, even though it may be well written and seemed very intense at the time. I am much more into the method of letting the reader's mind run away with what they imagined happened.

So I'm trying to remind myself to write the bloody scene if that's what it takes to get to the next scene, but go back and edit it for something that leaves more to the readers' imaginations. Like in the Weird West contest for the CCC, I described a bloody mess in the cabin, where a werewolf dismembered the hero's children. I wanted to convey that shock to the character, but when I get around to posting it on the forum (outside of the CCC) I want to edit it so it's not quite so graphic, but still gets the readers' minds going. I think that will ultimately be more effective.

I think you told me this was a bad story just so I'd read it and put it in the Long Box. ;)

#10 Posted by wildvine (8405 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74:

This is fantastic. And maybe inspiration for Corrupted? Maybe one of your best stories I have read.

#11 Edited by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: @cbishop: Actually no, its just one of my least favourite. It actually might've been the inspiration for CORRUPTED (don't remember) but the idea was from this picture

And yeah it's unfinished...like several other dangling threads of mine

#12 Edited by The Impersonator (5057 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74:

Wow! This is a good, super story. I like it.

I've noticed is that most of the dialogue, including the sentences, lack some commas and a period.

I'll give two examples, just to say in short.

Mistakes.

“Fascinating” said Zoom as he inspected each at high speed

Suddenly a klaxon alarm went off “He’s coming” shouted Black Manta

Corrections.

“Fascinating,” said Zoom as he inspected each at high speed.

Suddenly, a klaxon alarm went off. “He’s coming,” shouted Black Manta.

Other than that, it's a good, super story. I'm looking forward to part 3.

#13 Posted by batkevin74 (10420 posts) - - Show Bio

@the_impersonator: Yeah this was early stuff so my grammar and punctuation was a tad off. There may be a part 3, possibly not, as I'm not overly happy with this but surprisingly others are which is...well it's cool actually. See what I can muster