The Soldier and The Weapon: Chapter Two: First Meeting and Report

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Edited By fbdarkangel

The Soldier and The Weapon... Courtesy of Talon/X-23
The Soldier and The Weapon... Courtesy of Talon/X-23
A/N: At Long Last! Here is the Second Chapter! Enjoy, Read, and please review! 
 

Kisumu City, Kenya. 0627 EAT

            As Laura stepped off the plane, she pulled her aviator sunglasses out of her rifle green shirt jacket and placed them over her emerald eyes. She rushed towards the baggage claim and carousel then grabbed her olive army duffel bag and swung it over her shoulder. She proceeded to the exit when…

            “Excuse me, miss?” Laura sighed and turned around to face two Kenyan soldiers, both carrying G3 assault rifles. Her training told her that she should incapacitate them in order to avoid being brought in. However, over the past six months, she learned that it was better not to kill and to cooperate and be polite as much as possible.

            “Good morning,” she said with a courteous smile as she moved her glasses away from her eyes and on top of her head. “Is there a problem?”

            “No problem, miss,” said the first soldier. “We need to see your passport, please.”

            “My passport?” Laura repeated. Perhaps it was better to kill them. “Why?”

            “You are an American, yes?” the second soldier asked.

            “That’s correct,” replied Laura. “I have already been cleared in Nairobi.”

            “We are checking all foreigners in Kisumu. Standard procedure,” the second soldier explained. Laura looked around to see that indeed both the Canadian couple and the Scottish photographer were being interviewed by Kenyan soldiers. She sighed, unzipped her bag, and pulled out her passport. The first soldier took it and studied it carefully.

            “So, Ms. Kinney,” he began. “You are staying at the Imperial?”

            “No, I am not,” said Laura and both soldiers looked up.

            “Then where do you plan on staying?” the second soldier demanded.

            “At my home.”

            Laura and the two soldiers turned around to see a Kenyan man in his mid-thirties coming from the exit.

            “Ninyi ni nani? (Who are you?)” the first soldier demanded.

            “Oman Dia,” the man replied as he pulled out his identification and Laura gave out a sigh of relief. This was the man she was supposed to meet.

            “Dia?” the second soldier repeated. “No relation to Saburi Dia?”

            “My brother,” replied Oman casually. The second soldier’s eyes widened with shock and awe. The first one merely shook his head.

            “And how do you know this girl?” he asked gesturing towards Laura.

            “Her professor is a friend of my wife’s,” Oman explained truthfully.

           “You are a student?” the second soldier asked Laura and Laura nodded hesitantly when she saw Oman’s consent through his eyes. “What are your studies?”

           “Theology,” Laura replied, which was half true.

           “She has come as a guest to my household and to learn from my brother,” Oman said.

            The first soldier sighed and handed Laura back her passport and Oman his I.D. card.

            “Welcome to Kisumu, Miss Kinney,” he said.

            “Asante (thank you),” Laura said as she took her passport and slid her glasses back over her eyes.

            Once the soldiers were out of sight and earshot, Oman turned to Laura and held out his hand and smiled.

            “Radhi na hatimaye kukutana na wewe (Nice to finally meet you),” he chuckled.

            “Vivyo hivyo (Likewise),” Laura said as she shook his hand with her own. She had to remind herself that she could trust this man. 

            His wife, Amana, used to be Storm’s handmaiden and now very good friend (or in Laura’s view, a very good contact). Ororo told her that she could trust them. In any case, they were the only link to Saburi.

            “Let me help you with your things,” Oman offered but Laura had already swung her duffle bag back over her shoulder.

            Within moments, she was in the passenger side of Oman’s Jeep, looking out into the passing streets of Kisumu.

            “Why were those men really questioning us?” she finally asked and Oman sighed as if the question itself was giving him distress.

            “Ojore Conteh,” he answered bitterly. “A criminal ringleader of drug dealers, pimps, and every other kind of crook you can think of. For a year, he has torn the Nyanza province, taking young boys to fight his wars and young girls to be his slaves. There have been rumors that he has been in Kisumu District and that he has also been accepting ‘outside help’. That is why those soldiers are questioning all foreigners and those that house them.”

            “I am sorry,” Laura said. “For causing you and your family so much trouble.”

            Oman laughed unexpectedly.

            “You have done no such,” he chuckled. “Any friend of Ororo’s is a friend of the Dias’. Besides my daughter, Eshe, would never forgive me if she didn’t get a chance to meet you.”

            “Why would she want to meet me?” Laura asked, taken aback.

            “Because you will be the first American she will ever meet,” Oman explained. “She loves everything to do with America. She nearly jumped through the roof when I told her you were coming.

            “Lakini usijali (But don’t worry),” he added when he glanced at Laura’s shocked face. “Amana and I made it clear to her that you are here to see Saburi.”

            “Asante (Thank you),” Laura said. Though she had learned to treat children with kindness, she preferred this visit to be met with the upmost peace and quiet.

 

 Washington D.C., United States. 2251 EST

            “Captain Rogers?”

            Steve looked up from the black and white photo of X-23 to see Agent Walker stumbling into his office with a mountain of files in her arms.

            “Do you need any help with that, Agent Walker?” he asked with a bit uncertainty.

            “Oh no thank you,” Walker heaved with a smile. “And please call me Pam. Um… where do you want these?” 

            “Oh, just put them over there, Pam,” Steve gestured towards his coffee table.

            Once the stack of papers was placed on the table, Walker took the top file.

            “So I got the name from her passport and Customs report from Nairobi Airport,” she began. “The alias she used was Laura Kinney. According to the report, she’s a theology student and there’s some kind witch doctor outside of Kisumu City that she was going to visit. But according to-”

            “Wait,” Steve interrupted Walker as he stood up from his desk. “The name on the passport was Laura Kinney?”

            “Yeah. Those other files,” Walker nodded towards to said files, “are the reported airport sightings of her using that alias in the past six months, which seems to be everywhere. Anyways-”

“Thank you, Agent Walker,” Steve said as he took the file from Walker’s hands. “I’ll take it from here.” 

            “Uh, sir?” asked a bewildered Walker.

            “It’s late, Pam,” Steve explained. “You’ve been working really hard. You should go home and get some rest. In fact, why don’t you take some time off?”

            Walker hesitated, but nodded and thanked Steve. Once she left, Steve looked at X-23’s passport photo, with so many questions in his head. Why was she using her actual name in so many places? What was she really doing in Kenya? Is she on a mission? And what was he going to do about it?

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haydenclaireheroes

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I really loved this chapter. I can't wait for the next chapter. I think you are doing a great job and I hope you keep the good work up. 

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#2  Edited By fbdarkangel
@haydenclaireheroes: Thank you! :)
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hydrabob--defunct

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#3  Edited By hydrabob--defunct
@fbdarkangel:  This was very well written and i enjoyed. i liked how descriptive you were in the first portion. The reason for the area being so bad was good and believable. I like that Agent Walker referred to Steve as Captain Rogers keeping with military titles. they only problems i had was that Steve called Pam, Agent Walker after she asked him not to, though it could be that he wanted her to know he was serious, and by calling her Agent Walker was letting her know of that. besides that it was very good. You should be very proud of your self.
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#4  Edited By fbdarkangel
@hydrabob said:
" @fbdarkangel:  This was very well written and i enjoyed. i liked how descriptive you were in the first portion. The reason for the area being so bad was good and believable. I like that Agent Walker referred to Steve as Captain Rogers keeping with military titles. they only problems i had was that Steve called Pam, Agent Walker after she asked him not to, though it could be that he wanted her to know he was serious, and by calling her Agent Walker was letting her know of that. besides that it was very good. You should be very proud of your self. "
That's what I was intending! but thanks! :)
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hydrabob--defunct

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#5  Edited By hydrabob--defunct
@fbdarkangel:  your welcome. you did a very good job
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GraphicCasualFreak

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Looks pretty good.  It's a little short and you might want to remove some of the color descriptors in the beginning.  They stand out a little too much with the rest of the passage.  Emerald green, olive green, etc... Drop the greens if nothing else. Emerald is a shade of green so you don't need to say it.  But those are really my only complaints.

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#7  Edited By fbdarkangel
@GraphicCasualFreak said:
" Looks pretty good.  It's a little short and you might want to remove some of the color descriptors in the beginning.  They stand out a little too much with the rest of the passage.  Emerald green, olive green, etc... Drop the greens if nothing else. Emerald is a shade of green so you don't need to say it.  But those are really my only complaints. "
thanks so much! in the last chap, people said i was little vague on descriptions and i didn't want to put it on just green. I've been making notes that i found on the internet to give me some visual aids!
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#8  Edited By VenomMagus


I agree with everyone else, mostly.  I like the writing style, but ____ green was kind of repetitive in its own way.  Also, the whole chapter seems to be building to something that never really gets off the ground, kind of sad for me because I was looking forward to, well, something else. 

Either way, keep up the creativity and don't let everyone else's harsh criticism (lol) bring you down!  ;D

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FadeToBlackBolt

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#9  Edited By FadeToBlackBolt

Very nice :)
 
I really like how much research you did into the Kenyan culture and language etc. It really helps the story's flow and believability.

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#10  Edited By fbdarkangel
@VenomMagus said:
"


I agree with everyone else, mostly.  I like the writing style, but ____ green was kind of repetitive in its own way.  Also, the whole chapter seems to be building to something that never really gets off the ground, kind of sad for me because I was looking forward to, well, something else. 

Either way, keep up the creativity and don't let everyone else's harsh criticism (lol) bring you down!  ;D

"
i enjoy criticism! :) Thank you for your review! :) 
@FadeToBlackBolt said:
" Very nice :)  I really like how much research you did into the Kenyan culture and language etc. It really helps the stories flow and believability. "
Thanks that means a lot to me! :)
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ARMIV

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#11  Edited By ARMIV

Once again, very nice!
Looking forward to the next one!

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#12  Edited By fbdarkangel
@ARMIV: thank you! :)
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#13  Edited By HellionVulcan

 That was great & made a nice story that built from the last .

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Bigheart711

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#14  Edited By Bigheart711

This looks as great as the last one. Thanks!

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Magian

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#15  Edited By Magian

Very good. I like it. You must have researched a lot of this. Nice work.

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the referee

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#16  Edited By the referee
@fbdarkangel: Very nice! I love the line Perhaps it was better to kill them. It was also a nice twist with whole passport thing and how Steve was keeping tabs on her. Never saw it coming. All in all I was impressed and can't wait for chapter 3. One more thing could you tell me what chapter one was called because I wish to print out your story.That way I will always have a copy of it.
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deactivated-5a830f8074f3a

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Outstanding work ,hope someday my English can write as good as your half :)
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#18  Edited By fbdarkangel
@ka385385:  @HellionVulcan:  @Bigheart711:  @ComicMan24:  @the referee: Thanks! :) 

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#19  Edited By daredevil21134
@fbdarkangel:
Good stuff as always
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#20  Edited By fbdarkangel
@daredevil21134 said:
" @fbdarkangel: Good stuff as always "
thank you! :)
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Awsome Love your Writing style very discriptive i like that can't wait for more :D
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#22  Edited By fbdarkangel
@The Umbra Sorcerer: thanks! :)
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#23  Edited By MoonstoneEvil

Nice work I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.

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Illyana Rasputin

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#24  Edited By Illyana Rasputin

Fantastic job! I am enjoying it immensely.
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#25  Edited By sweatboy
@fbdarkangel: Thanks for letting us know, but i took some time getting here lol. 
so i had many opinions (none of which truly count lol) first i was like,..hmmm, Superheroes doing everyday stuff, but yeah that's a thing in comics now, and from even before..... then i thought the time thing is pretty smart, went far as to change my time and date settings to check if this was happening at the same time (Cap gets her passport AFTER she lands and is interviewed, shoulda figured, D'oh!) i STILL dont see where this is going,...and i thought Cap didn't REMEMBER who she was, despite them calling each other's name in that wet dream (there was a BEACH, the air IS humid at a beach)
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#26  Edited By fbdarkangel
@MoonstoneEvil: @Illyana Rasputin: thanks! :) 
@sweatboy: thanks for your review and check pout the pm I sent you! :)
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#27  Edited By The Psyentist

Nicely done. Good chapter addition.

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#28  Edited By fbdarkangel
@The Psyentist said:
" Nicely done. Good chapter addition. "
thanks!
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#29  Edited By sweatboy
@fbdarkangel said:   
@sweatboy: thanks for your review and check pout the pm I sent you! :) "
lol, i check my inbox and i'm like, "wait, it's you again?" :P
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#30  Edited By TheBlueAngel93

Nice job, fan-fic looks good :D

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#31  Edited By fbdarkangel
@War Killer said:

" Nice job, fan-fic looks good :D "

thank you! like the pic? ;-)
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The Velvet Rabbit

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excellent second chapter!

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Project_Worm

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#33  Edited By Project_Worm

Wouldn't wolverine be pissed about this

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@Project_Worm said:
" Wouldn't wolverine be pissed about this "
y nothings happened?................yet
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#35  Edited By Project_Worm
@Ruhi_Tugu:  
yeah but its some older dude trying to "mack" on his kindof daughter
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@Project_Worm:  what are you talking about they haven't even met yet, but i see what your saying. maybe she'll do Wolverine: Angry Father
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#37  Edited By Project_Worm
@Ruhi_Tugu:  
yup yup
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#38  Edited By fbdarkangel
@The Velvet Rabbit: thanks!
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#39  Edited By lastdrag0n89

Sorry it took  me so long to read but this chapter was really engaging. I cant wait for more.

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#40  Edited By fbdarkangel
@lastdrag0n89: thanks! :)
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#41  Edited By KumoriKunoichi

Stellar Job, Mate 
I don't know if i commented but seriously, good work :D. Looking forward to more

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#42  Edited By fbdarkangel
@KumoriKunoichi: thanks! :)
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#43  Edited By fbdarkangel

Chapter 3 is finished! :) read and review please!    

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#44  Edited By SC  Moderator

I appreciate the skill in which you use descriptive language, I know X-23 has green eyes, yet it makes your story so much more for throwing in references to her eyes describing them as green. I think your characterization with her, is spot on as well, I liked the exchange about children. I think thats pretty accurate of X. You write a very decent Steve as well. I actually use to have a dislike for that character, but you paint him very favorably. Very likable. A very well written and executed fan fiction!! ^_^

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#45  Edited By fbdarkangel
@SC:  
 
thank you thank you! I didn't know you didn't like Steve Rogers! I mean I can understand the Ultimate version, he is a $#&*%!  but the 616 is usually appealing!
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#46  Edited By Thunderstone

Chapter Two continues to deliver the premise left behind by Chapter One dialog and and focus on the objective of the chapter are not lost my only open suggestion would be A place a bold on the text beneath the "exampple" and B come up with a new banner for each chapter to leave behind a further impression that is eye catching to lead the reader into wanting to read the chapter before knowing what's it about....

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#47  Edited By fbdarkangel
@Thunderstone said:
" Chapter Two continues to deliver the premise left behind by Chapter One dialog and and focus on the objective of the chapter are not lost my only open suggestion would be A place a bold on the text beneath the "exampple" and B come up with a new banner for each chapter to leave behind a further impression that is eye catching to lead the reader into wanting to read the chapter before knowing what's it about.... "
well I have yet to get my photoshop! so...!