Hi everyone, I have recently written a very basic synopsis of a short story about a team of superheroes who start to think they are gods and was wandering if I could get some feedback, bearing in mind it’s only a rough draft and I’m not one hundred percent sure on the names and I know its quite long but try to finish it and please tell me what you think, thanks.
The Golden age
Six years before the start of the story a large number asteroids made of an unusual radioactive material came towards Earth, most of them broke up in the atmosphere, the radioactive particles spread around the atmosphere of the Earth, thus granting various individuals around the world superhuman abilities, one asteroid was big enough to not break up in the atmosphere and crash in the middle of a city call Meropis, causing wide spread damage, most of the people in the area were either severely injured with radiation poisoning or dead, but six people near the impact were granted superhuman abilities.
The six individual (they were Daniel Brown, Rose Taylor, Hannah Green, Jacob Davis, David Williams, Emma Jones) were near each other at the time they got their powers (at this point they didn’t know each other and the powers they got were greater than others since they were so close to an asteroid instead of just particles in the air), they quickly realised that they were changed, seeing that they all got powers, Rose says they should to avoid getting locked in a lab to be studied, David said that he lives nearby so they should go to his flat so they do.
At David’s flat they talk about their powers and what they are supposed to do with them, around this time they heard a large explosion so they turned on the news to find out that a person with the ability to shoot explosive balls of energy from his hands was attacking the city. The six decide to try and stop the guy, though they decided to wear masks to protect their secret identities, they got the masks from a nearby costume shop (David used his emerging electrical powers to destroy security cameras).
After they got masks they fought the bad guy (who would later be known as the Bomber) and defeated him. The people nearby cheered them. Later on they discovered that people all over the world were developing super powers. Some super humans became dangerous super criminals whereas others became superheroes, however the superhero population shrank over the next year, partly because some were corrupted, either by their power or the promise of money to work for criminals, most though were simply killed by super criminals, this sometimes happened the first time the super criminal met the hero but not always, because the superheroes mostly just sent the super criminals to jail they could kept coming back, they kept getting more chances to kill the superheroes and they would eventually succeed.
The only heroes not having trouble with corruption or super criminals was Daniel Brown, Rose Taylor, Hannah Green, Jacob Davis, David Williams, Emma Jones (who would call themselves the Legion), though no one with powers were that close to the asteroid those who gained powers in and around Meropis were still on average the most powerful super humans in the world, though they weren’t as powerful as the Legion and as the Legion’s powers developed and they became more skilled with them they were able to defeat every super criminal in the city and as time passed scientists in different parts of the world started to make suitable prisons for the different super criminals, stopping them from breaking out and thanks to the legion the super criminals were never broken out.
Eventually all the super criminals (and most of the normal criminals) were in prison, the Legion then started going to other parts of the country, taking down more and more super criminals, they were able to keep them all in prison until super crime in Britain was virtually non-existent, they then continued fighting super crime but this time they went to other countries and did the same until all the super criminals were locked away in specially made prisons indefinitely until they could figure out away to let them out without their powers being a problem, before they left to fight super criminals in other countries they decided to abandon their secret identities to focus on their superhero careers.
Three years after the Legion first got their powers, when super crime was all but eliminated, the legion then went out and took down the worst regular criminals in the world until every major criminal organisation was gone, at this time David and Emma expressed their feeling for each other and got together, later the Legion allowed scientists to study how their bodies worked, first they studied how their bodies produced so much energy since their bodies could produce energy at far greater levels than anyone else to power their abilities, (the legion would stop the scientist’s work whenever the scientists seemed to try and make weapons, they made a deal that they could see all work related to the study of their bodies, no contracts since they wouldn’t reveal their secret identities) and this allowed scientists to apply what they learned from them to make more and more fuel efficient technology based on their genetics to the point where it was predicted that the fuel crisis would be non-existent by 2035. They also used the legion’s healing abilities to create cures for various diseases including the common cold, aids and cancer.
Hannah, who already had been making plants grow where ever the legion went, went on her own to focus on it more in third world countries so that there was more food, thus helping to end famine, Jacob used his water powers to stop water related disasters like tsunamis and brought rain to third world countries thus bringing them water, the rest focused on saving people from and stopping other natural disasters.
Five years into the Legion’s superhero careers used their own powers and government funding to create a space station orbiting the Earth as their base, calling it the Guardian tower. This base was made partly to symbolise how the legion watches over the world as well as a base of operations for them and a safe place to evacuate people to if no place is available at short notice. The world became safer and happier (the only issue being over population though thanks to Hannah there was always food), with people calling it the golden age of humanity and they would love the Legion more and more and six years after their debut many people started viewing them as gods, the problem though is that apart from David, so did the Legion.
While in their base discussing the overpopulation problem Daniel brings up the idea that perhaps given their global influence that they should have a seat at the U.N., David agreed that they should work with the U.N. but not as a member since that would make them out as world leaders which they are not, thus sending the wrong message to people, David and Daniel argue about this but David ultimately won. Later David goes and speaks with the U.N. on how the legion might help; this angers Daniel because he feels that the legion should take charge and do what they think is best, he even starts expressing his views to the others.
As time passes David and Daniel argue more and more. Later there is a glitch in the restraints of a dangerous villain called the poltergeist (working title, he can phase through anything, he can fly), it only lasts a couple seconds but that is long enough for him to escape, since they were the only ones available at the time they both went after him, they teleport to the prison he broke out of and tracked him down, Poltergeist tries to escape but Daniel teleports him and David away from any people, David then gets a clean shot and hits him with a blast of electricity, this shocks him into his solid form at which point Daniel goes and knocks him out, instead of teleporting him back to prison Daniel said they should kill him or injure him so badly that he won’t be a threat to any one since he isn’t comfortable having a super powered criminal who can escape so easily, David forbids it but Daniel does it anyway, David attacks him but Daniel didn’t want to fight his own, especially since he could be a future ally, so he teleports away.
David calls a meeting of the legion to deal with Daniel, when they start the meeting Daniel appears, he explains what happens from his point of view and convinces the others that they should be gods and rule the world as such, Daniel fights the others, to avoid the destruction of the base Daniel teleports them all to the middle of nowhere, the others prove to strong and they defeat David, forcing him to retreat.
Knowing no other force on Earth can stop the others he goes to the super prison near his home, where many of the most powerful villains are kept and releases them to help him (they wanted to kill him but he convinces them that without his power and tactical ability they could not defeat the other legion members and because of Daniel’s more deadly views they may kill them, so David and the villains go to fight the other legion members (one of the villain has a power that allows him to track them).
Meanwhile the other legion members go to Britain and capture the major members government and put them in prison to get them out of the way, thus starting their take over, they then announce on the news (which was live and reporting on their actions) that they were gods and now in charge, at this point the feed goes dead when David and the Villains attack, David’s side seem to be winning when one of the villains takes an opportunity to kill Rose.
This shocks everyone, so much so that the other legion members retreat except Daniel who refuses to admit defeat to non-gods, he is eventually defeated, his healing power the only thing saving him from the villains (he was later imprisoned, by this point most villains were quite badly beaten from the fight), Daniel managed to fight of the remaining villains quite easily so the villains retreat (not wanting to be imprisoned forever like before they adopted new identities and hid while the badly injured villains were re-imprisoned), after releasing the British government members David found the other legion members, they talked and agreed that they had gone to far, the bad legionnaires realised how corrupt they were when they saw how crazed Daniel was. The remaining legionnaires decided to retire since they had proven too easily to corrupt, except David, and the world no longer trusted them and felt it was best for everyone.
Hannah went to live in Africa where she lived and secretly helped the local harvests (though not so much that anyone became to suspicious), Jacob became a fisherman (partly because it was a simple life after is life as a superhero, thanks to his powers it was easy and it gave him the chance to be out on the water on his own where he could use his powers as he pleased), Emma (having broken up with David) went to live in America to have a new start and David went to back to the city he lived in before he became a superhero, as luck would have it the flat he lived in before was vacant and he moved back in.
Shade
Real name: Daniel Brown
Powers: Invisibility, teleportation (fades away as black smoke, can teleport as far away as anywhere on the moon), superhuman healing (to such a great level that even if he apparently died he could heal and come back, he can absorb a person’s life force (body’s energy), strengthening his powers and all his physical characteristics (if he absorbs the entire life force of the average man then his strength, speed, reflexes powers effectiveness and his senses double, he heals even faster, he can do the reverse and fill a dying man with life force helping him live but he either has to use his own or absorb someone else’s and then send it into the other person, he also has superhuman strength (can lift/press 30 tons), speed (can run 150 mph) , stamina (never tires) and reflexes (can dodge bullets easily), can fly and has superhuman sight and hearing.
Protectress
Real life: Rose Taylor
Powers: Can heal any wound or disease of any living thing, though it is not as effective on herself (she can heal any wounds though she can’t re-grow limbs), can create force fields around self or others, can be made of varying sizes and can be projected as a powerful attack, doesn’t need to eat or breath and can survive short periods in space, immune to disease, superhuman sight and hearing, superhuman strength (can lift/press 30 tons), superhuman speed (can run 150 mph), superhuman stamina (never tires), superhuman reflexes (can dodge bullets).
Mother Nature
Real name: Hannah Green
Powers: Can manipulate the body and growth of plants and can manipulate the minds of animals and can even read their memories, she can possess animals for short periods of time (if she spends too long in one the animal burns out, so if she possessed an insect it would die in a minute but if she possessed a cow it would last a day), superhuman healing (though to a lower level than Hades SH, if she appears dead, she is) superhuman sight and hearing, superhuman stamina (never tires), superhuman strength (can lift/press 30 tons), superhuman speed (can run 150 mph), superhuman reflexes (can dodge bullets).
Sea king
Real name: Jacob Davis
Powers: can change is body into a light blue liquid form which he has complete control over, able to reshape it in any way as well as manipulating his own density, in liquid form he is almost immune to physical harm, he can absorb any liquid into him to increase his size (though if he changes into human form with the absorbed liquid in him it will appear in his human body) he can manipulate any liquid. He can move through large bodies of water at incredible speeds, in liquid form he doesn’t need to breath and can survive in space, in his human or liquid form he has superhuman strength (can lift/press 30 tons), superhuman stamina (never tires) superhuman sight and hearing.
Captain Wonder
Real name: David Williams
Powers: can fly at incredible speeds, invulnerability (can survive a nuclear assault, though he would be half dead), superhuman strength (can lift/press 200 tons), superhuman reflexes (can easily dodge bullets), Superhuman stamina (never gets tired), can generate powerful blasts of electricity capable of blasting through carbon steel. He can hold his breath for days and can survive in space superhuman sight and hearing.
Lady Extreme
Real name: Emma Jones
Powers: can fly at incredible speeds, invulnerability (can survive a nuclear assault, though he would be half dead), superhuman strength (can lift/press 200 tons), superhuman reflexes (can easily dodge bullets), Superhuman stamina (never gets tired), she can hold his breath for days and can survive in space, a powerful telekinetic, superhuman sight and hearing.
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