#1 Posted by thespideyguy (2642 posts) - - Show Bio

This is a Fan fic in my own universe and is rated T. Please tell me what you think. It is kind of long but please brave through it.

The Bug

Detective yank(looking at a dead grotesque body): Darn shame what happened to him.

Deputy Chris: Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Detective yank: He might have been a bad guy but he was trying to make some good. Besides he had a wife and a kid.

Deputy Chris: Trying to do some GOOD! He was stealing chemicals, the wife was a prostitute and I put the kid behind bars as much as I put this guy behind bars.

Detective yank (looking horrified): You’re just mad ‘cause your fraid’ the kid won’t turn out like you did.

Deputy Chris (shoving detective yank against the wall): I told you, and only that I was from the wrong side of the tracks for a reason.

The Bug (kneeling on a building ready for action, looking down at the alley): Alright men you all have big penis's now put them away and solve this murder.

The Bug (jumps of the building and lands perfectly): What do you have on him.

Detective yank: He is a John Doe (Detective yank nods at Deputy Chris as he says so) who was found with holes in hi-

The Bug (says in a whisper tone): The moth.

Detective yank: What?

The Bug (Barks in a sharp tone): Nothing. Finish the scoop.

Detective yank: Anyway, holes in his body, he was found two miles from a stolen chemical truck crawling with his prints.

The Bug: Has C.S.I. already been here?

Detective yank: No.

The Bug (the bug says as he nods to the victims tattoo): What about his tattoo?

Detective yank: What tattoo?

The Bug: The one on his left arm. (The bug walks over to the victim, kneels down and pulls up his sleeve.)

Deputy Chris: Why is there a tattoo of a flaming circle on his arm?

The Bug (Looking awfully shocked, pulls out a grappling hook and shoots it up to a neighboring building, and shoots up fast.)

Deputy Chris: You owe me answers. Who is the moth, why did you say the victim was a john doe, and why didn’t you accuse him of withholding evidence?

Detective yank: We were actually just talking to the moth.

Deputy Chris: What?

Detective yank: On one of his earlier adventures he was arrested. We used the rorsarch inkblot test on him and proved he was delusional.

Deputy Chris: Did you see him with his mask off?

Detective Yank: We did and so did our pencils and paper but the security cameras didn’t. Every time he walked by his face was blurred. The pencil and paper records were seemingly eaten by moths. Everyone who saw his face was brutally murdered exactly like this guy.

Deputy Chris: What about the John Doe?

Detective yank: You mean Daniel Davis. If The Bug heard his victims name he might have switched over to the moth again. As far as withholding evidence goes, he wasn’t.

Deputy Chris: Is C.S.I. coming?

Detective yank: We have so many men hunting the bug they don’t have time.

Deputy Chris: Why didn’t we bring him in, you has done it before.

Detective yank: I haven’t, and besides I am scared.

Deputy Chris: I’m not.

The Bug (leaping from building to building) (thought boxes): That tattoo was from the cult of wrath. I have been tracking them for months, now. Recently The Moth has been killing off members of the cult. But something doesn’t add up? Why was that John Doe stealing chemicals?

The Bug (leaps down onto the street, and approaches a wrecked truck): Hmmmnnmm it seems he was trying to make hallucinogens. Why?

Cut to the home of Jack adams

Telephone: ring ring

Jack Adams (with the phone to his ear): Hello

The Moth: I have your daddy, I have your daddy.

Jack: Who is this!

The Moth: Me, you know me Jack.

Jack: What kind of sick, Madman are you.

The Moth: You want to see your pops again?

Jack: (growls)

The Moth: Thought so. What is black and white and red all over? Come to the newspaper stand on 5 and Astro, If you ever want to see your pops again.

#2 Posted by wildvine (8755 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting.

Moderator Online
#3 Posted by IncludedPharoh (192 posts) - - Show Bio

Great!

#4 Posted by StarKiller809 (1238 posts) - - Show Bio

This is very interesting and it was a really quick read and enjoyable. I was a little confused about the Bug being with the Moth or did I just misread? Anyways, if we continue to get more stories I'm sure everything will make sense. Keep making awesome writing. 

#5 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1649 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty cool for a script (I usually shy away from scripted stuff, but this was good enough and short enough to be intriguing) Good job!

#6 Edited by thespideyguy (2642 posts) - - Show Bio

@StarKiller809 said:

This is very interesting and it was a really quick read and enjoyable. I was a little confused about the Bug being with the Moth or did I just misread? Anyways, if we continue to get more stories I'm sure everything will make sense. Keep making awesome writing.

The cops think the moth and the bug are two different people, the bug thinks otherwise. Sorry if I wasn't clear

#7 Posted by thespideyguy (2642 posts) - - Show Bio

I am going to post a few questions to figure out what I can do please try to answer them.

  1. Who is your favorite character
  2. Do you like the format
  3. Is it to confusing
  4. What don't you like
  5. What do you like
#8 Posted by wildvine (8755 posts) - - Show Bio

@thespideyguy said:

I am going to post a few questions to figure out what I can do please try to answer them.

  1. Who is your favorite character
  2. Do you like the format
  3. Is it to confusing
  4. What don't you like
  5. What do you like

Like, the characters/story. Dislike, Format (prefer story format). I too was confused about the bug/moth debate.

Moderator Online