The A.R.S.S. sign up thread

Okay the premise here is for writers to submit the worst ideas for super heroes they ever had, I'm talking about ideas you had when you were 5, things you've come up with whiles drunk or screwing around or honest effort that went terribly wrong. My intention is to bring together a legion of losers to form the Amazing Rejected Super Society or A.R.S.S. for short.

@batkevin74@awesam@4donkeyjohnson@project_worm@wildvine@dngn4774 and whoever else wants to take part

@joshmightbe: Space Horse....guess what he was and where he came from :)

Not exactly a super hero, but it can be the mascot, as it is an animal that fits the subject. It had the arms of a Gorilla, main body of a Cheetah without spots, walked on four legs, and it's tail was the tail of a whale, sized to fit the small body of the cheetah. Everything not specified was in the form of a Cheetah. The assignment in class was to create a new animal. That was all I could come up with.

@joshmightbe: This idea wasn't mine but I fought them back in my roles playing days of Heroes Unlimited. The GM created Scottish Ninjas! Yup they used Claymore's instead of katanas and wore tartan ninja suits. He tried to blend Celtic & Japanese mythology together and the result were Scottish Ninja's

Spatulus!!!

lmfao

LOL

@jonny_anonymous: Yeah, he was all serious about it, but me & my mate were too busy pi$$ing ourselves laughing at these ridiculous villains! We punched the crap out of them but it's funnier because he was so serious and even wrote a bizarre convoluted history on it...I'll email him and see if he still has them can we use them...haven't spoke to him for years.

@batkevin74: That's the kind of stuff Sir Smart would do. He once disabled cold water in the entire city, so people couldn't take a shower, wash their hands, or just use water in general without burning themselves.

@awesam: With a name like Sir Smart I guessed he'd have to be a complete to$$er, possibly English and come up with plans that to him are very sophisticated but in reality, he's just a bank robber/annoyance :)

@batkevin74: He can usually pull off nearly impossible plots, but they usually just end up being an inconvenience to everyone.

@awesam: An accidental self-sabotager! Nice :)

@joshmightbe: Alright this is what I managed to come up with 5 minutes of boredom. I call it the adventures of Band-Aid Man.

Dr. Dallas Day was an amateur scientist who was trying to create the world's most effective adhesive bandages. After testing his latest concoction an accidental explosion in his lab fused the toxic chemicals to his skin. During his recovery Day realized that the secretions from his skin could heal almost any injury. This ability made him a celebrity. After witnessing the effects of Day's experiments, Gavin Garrett (Day's rival at medical school) attempted to recreate Dallas' experiment so that he could surpass his enemy. When the events where replicated Gavin was horribly maimed by the dangerous chemicals. His skin rotted off of his body and was replaced with a toxic sludge-like material. Garrett gained the ability to rot whatever he touched and became the Plague. After Day was ambushed by the Plague he was considered to be destroyed by the monster. A few days later a new hero emerged. His face was covered in surgical gauze and he was known as the Band-Aid Man.

The funny thing is it's so bad but I could actually see someone making this into a comic. What do you think?

@awesam: @batkevin74: @4donkeyjohnson: @delek_reap: @dngn4774: I'm hearing a lot of good stuff here. Feel free to post up your chapters any time you're ready, have fun, go nuts if you want the only rule for the moment is to put A.R.S.S. in your title. I even figured out an in story way to instantly fix any continuity problems we might come up with so you don't even have to worry about that. I came up with a character who is a demon with the ability to cause cosmic continuity glitches, its a cheap gimmick and a by product of completely lazy writing so he's perfect for this. His name is Anti-Con.

@joshmightbe: We coukd just say it all happened in between panels.

@awesam: True, the Anti-Con thing was an actual idea I had once while being frustrated about continuity on another story. It was mostly just a joke to amuse myself while I had writers block.

I'm not sure if this counts, but I made a joke hero like two years ago called Unphotogenic-Man. He has no powers, but he's a skilled fighter and always saves the day. Problem is, since he's so unphotogenic, when they take pictures of him, people assume he's the bad guy, so he gets no credit and just gets chased by the police the second they see the photos.

I'm going to name my animal mascot character Chimera, because I'm not good at coming up with names. If anybody wants to use her (I've decided it's a her) feel free to do so. She's loyal to the A.R.S.S. and only them, because they took her in when nobody else would.

Okay I'm thinking I'll have a PM up within the next day or 2 and maybe post a chapter. Given the nature of the project comedy is probably going to be my motivation but if you'd like to write something serious under this banner feel free just know that this is the one instance where no matter how bad your idea is, its completely welcome here.

@joshmightbe: Comedy is funnier if you play it straight, and even terrible characters get a chance to look good in the right hands

@batkevin74: i agree, I find it much better if the characters take it serious regardless of the absurdity

@joshmightbe: Space Horse was a normal white horse and one of the many animals shot into space during the golden age of the space race. He was bombarded by the radiation (ala the Fantastic Four) and was able to talk, fly, breathe in space and shoot lazers from his forehead, he was my version of Superman's horse Comet.

Feel free to do with him as you wish

@joshmightbe: @batkevin74: Penmanship was me (in case you were wondering)

@betatesthighlander1: I know, I named him! :) He actually could be very dangerous

howso?

@betatesthighlander1: He could ruin your S.A.T. score by turning your number 2 pencil into a pen rendering your test inadmissible

That evil b*s***d! I knew I was really a genius.

@dngn4774: He's possibly responsible for the suicides of several hundred stereotypical Asian sit-com characters.

@joshmightbe: I never even realized how dangerous he was

I'm going to start writing a chapter for this tonight.

You pencil something in, he turns it to a pen, you miss important meetings, get fired and end up homeless!

@joshmightbe: I once drew a monkey villain called Bistro.

He could fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and chain smoked (I was 4 years old).

Bistro was awesome (ok, no he wasn't).

@betatesthighlander1: I was going the whole make him a master assassin like Bullseye/Taskmaster! Combine that with him messing with your scores, you're dead both on paper and really! Penmanship is good!

@frozenphoenix: This is his place to shine

@batkevin74: I had an idea a while back for a character called the Narrator who has omniscient knowledge of everything going around him for like a 5 mile radius but his power forces him to narrate what's going on but he's forced to spend most of his time convincing people that his secret identity is not Morgan Freeman (By the way he is Morgan Freeman) I wrote it out once and it turned out to be one of the stupidest ideas I ever had.

@joshmightbe: Get busy narrating, or get busy dying :)

@joshmightbe: @frozenphoenix: Bistro ashed his cigar with his toes and slowly breathed a cloud of smoke of his mouth as he looked at the group of Scottish ninjas surrounding him. He tossed the wet nub away "So which one of you pajama people is in charge?"

The group was silent before parting, as a giantic man wielding a Claymore stepped through the group "You are associated with A.R.S.S, you shall die!"

Bistro barred his teeth "I think you'll find, I'm not just a talking chimp" Bistro leapt into the air and flew at the giant pummelling him with all four limbs in a blistering whirlwind attack. The man was unconcious before he hit the floor like a felled tree. Bistro's eyes flared with laser sparks.

"So who's next?"

***

Bistro lit up another cigar as he sat on a pile of unconcious ninjas, fishing around his belt pouch "C'mon, where are you?" Finally he pulled a communicator out and blew the dust off it.

"Never thought I'd need you again" Bistro muttered as he turned it on, it hissed with static as it came to life. Bistro took another drag on his cigar before he spoke into it "This is reserve A.R.S.S member Bistro calling in. I think we're in big trouble!"

@batkevin74: Hahaha nice! Apparently he is not to be messed with.

@frozenphoenix: don't mess with a flying, talking, smoking laser eyed monkey I always say! :)

One idea I just had while screwing around for a dumb idea: The Dancing Dung-Ball! She can control poop, fly on a giant dung ball, and her left hand is a miniature butt to shoot poop out of her hands! (a fact she hates because she's left-handed) Her secret idea is Yvonne A. Pupe, and she got her powers because of a magical virus. Her weakness is urine.

@henrydwr: That's perfect for this

That's disgusting...write her! :)

@joshmightbe: Whatever happened to this?

@batkevin74: Everyone bailed on me before it even got started.

@joshmightbe: We got the premis, we have characters, I say you and me do this. Like in the old Iron Age day, I write one, you do one until we get sick of this losers and kill'em!

@batkevin74: sounds good to me

@joshmightbe: @batkevin74: Screw the Blue man group, this sounds like the birth of the Two man group! xD

@dngn4774: That's called a "bromance."

Oh, and btw: DISHMAN, with his sidekicks SPIC & SPAN! The only problem is every time someone calls Spic, he answers, "Wha' choo call me, ese?" because he coincidentally happens to be Latino. Span is self-conscious about her name too, because she's a bit on the hefty side. They finally get fed up and change their names to BUSBOY & BUSGIRL. ...This was all before I found out there had been a Dishman title from...Epic or Eclipse...one of the E's. Anyway, kind of a Batman w/Robin & Batgirl vibe, but silly, kitchen type gadget-weaponry. Use them in your farcical tale if you'd like. :)