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#1 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay the premise here is for writers to submit the worst ideas for super heroes they ever had, I'm talking about ideas you had when you were 5, things you've come up with whiles drunk or screwing around or honest effort that went terribly wrong. My intention is to bring together a legion of losers to form the Amazing Rejected Super Society or A.R.S.S. for short.

@batkevin74 @awesam @4donkeyjohnson @project_worm @wildvine @dngn4774 and whoever else wants to take part

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#2 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1636 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Space Horse....guess what he was and where he came from :)

#3 Edited by Delek_Reap (120 posts) - - Show Bio

Not exactly a super hero, but it can be the mascot, as it is an animal that fits the subject. It had the arms of a Gorilla, main body of a Cheetah without spots, walked on four legs, and it's tail was the tail of a whale, sized to fit the small body of the cheetah. Everything not specified was in the form of a Cheetah. The assignment in class was to create a new animal. That was all I could come up with.

#4 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: This idea wasn't mine but I fought them back in my roles playing days of Heroes Unlimited. The GM created Scottish Ninjas! Yup they used Claymore's instead of katanas and wore tartan ninja suits. He tried to blend Celtic & Japanese mythology together and the result were Scottish Ninja's

#5 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

Spatulus!!!

#6 Edited by Pyrogram (35152 posts) - - Show Bio

lmfao

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#7 Posted by Jonny_Anonymous (32984 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: This idea wasn't mine but I fought them back in my roles playing days of Heroes Unlimited. The GM created Scottish Ninjas! Yup they used Claymore's instead of katanas and wore tartan ninja suits. He tried to blend Celtic & Japanese mythology together and the result were Scottish Ninja's

LOL

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#8 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@jonny_anonymous: Yeah, he was all serious about it, but me & my mate were too busy pi$$ing ourselves laughing at these ridiculous villains! We punched the crap out of them but it's funnier because he was so serious and even wrote a bizarre convoluted history on it...I'll email him and see if he still has them can we use them...haven't spoke to him for years.

#9 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@betatesthighlander1: @awesam: @joshmightbe: That's why I suggested the name, first story arc: A.R.S.S "Kiss my!"

Spinister looked the mysterious man up and down "You called me here?"

"Yes" Sir Smart said as he dramatically emerged from the shadows.

"I presume your metallic brain has concocted some ridiculous plan!" scoffed Spinister "Hopefully it's better that turning all the cities traffic lights red, Sir Smart"

"IT WAS INGENIOUS!" roared Sir Smart throwing back his cape in disgust "Better than your tawdry efforts of spinning like a top robbing banks like a common thief, Spinister!"

"You used the commotion to rob a bank, you hypocrite!" snapped Spinister his hands begining to twirl at hyperspeed.

"Bah you're beneath me, what was I thinking?!" groaned Sir Smart.

"I'm going to spin you into a barbed wire fence"

"ENOUGH!" roared Penmanship who stepped from the shadows "THIS, THIS IS THE REASON WE GET BEATEN! ALL THE TIME!"

Spinister and Sir Smart looked at the man formerly known as Jarellian Markotunsil, now the deadly assassin known as Penmanship. Able to transmute pencils into pens, he made the saying the pen is mightier than the sword a deadly reality.

"WE NEED TO STOP THIS SQUABBLING, NOW!" the masked assassin glared at the two villains "We are here to work out we eliminate that pain A.R.S.S from our lives forever!" He grabbed a pencil from his bandoleer, turned it into a pen and jammed it into the table, spraying ink and plastic shards everywhere.

"Did you have to?" Sir Smart said derisively as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped off the flecks of ink on his cape "This is dry clean only"

Penmanship threw a disc onto the table and a holographic projection appeared of A.R.S.S; Grappling Cook, Spatulus, Algebraic Man, Space Horse and Barf Man. "This is A.R.S.S!"

"We know" said Spinister rolling his eyes "We've fought them before!"

"I wasn't talking to you" sneered Pensmanship as he pointed in a circle to the dozens of Scottish ninjas who had appeared out of almost nowhere and surrounded the trio of villains "I was talking to them!"

Cue music, roll opening credits: GO!

#10 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: That's the kind of stuff Sir Smart would do. He once disabled cold water in the entire city, so people couldn't take a shower, wash their hands, or just use water in general without burning themselves.

#11 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: With a name like Sir Smart I guessed he'd have to be a complete to$$er, possibly English and come up with plans that to him are very sophisticated but in reality, he's just a bank robber/annoyance :)

#12 Edited by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: He can usually pull off nearly impossible plots, but they usually just end up being an inconvenience to everyone.

#13 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: An accidental self-sabotager! Nice :)

#14 Edited by dngn4774 (2803 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Alright this is what I managed to come up with 5 minutes of boredom. I call it the adventures of Band-Aid Man.

Dr. Dallas Day was an amateur scientist who was trying to create the world's most effective adhesive bandages. After testing his latest concoction an accidental explosion in his lab fused the toxic chemicals to his skin. During his recovery Day realized that the secretions from his skin could heal almost any injury. This ability made him a celebrity. After witnessing the effects of Day's experiments, Gavin Garrett (Day's rival at medical school) attempted to recreate Dallas' experiment so that he could surpass his enemy. When the events where replicated Gavin was horribly maimed by the dangerous chemicals. His skin rotted off of his body and was replaced with a toxic sludge-like material. Garrett gained the ability to rot whatever he touched and became the Plague. After Day was ambushed by the Plague he was considered to be destroyed by the monster. A few days later a new hero emerged. His face was covered in surgical gauze and he was known as the Band-Aid Man.

The funny thing is it's so bad but I could actually see someone making this into a comic. What do you think?

#15 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: @batkevin74: @4donkeyjohnson: @delek_reap: @dngn4774: I'm hearing a lot of good stuff here. Feel free to post up your chapters any time you're ready, have fun, go nuts if you want the only rule for the moment is to put A.R.S.S. in your title. I even figured out an in story way to instantly fix any continuity problems we might come up with so you don't even have to worry about that. I came up with a character who is a demon with the ability to cause cosmic continuity glitches, its a cheap gimmick and a by product of completely lazy writing so he's perfect for this. His name is Anti-Con.

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#16 Edited by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: We coukd just say it all happened in between panels.

#17 Edited by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: True, the Anti-Con thing was an actual idea I had once while being frustrated about continuity on another story. It was mostly just a joke to amuse myself while I had writers block.

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#18 Edited by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm not sure if this counts, but I made a joke hero like two years ago called Unphotogenic-Man. He has no powers, but he's a skilled fighter and always saves the day. Problem is, since he's so unphotogenic, when they take pictures of him, people assume he's the bad guy, so he gets no credit and just gets chased by the police the second they see the photos.

#19 Posted by Delek_Reap (120 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm going to name my animal mascot character Chimera, because I'm not good at coming up with names. If anybody wants to use her (I've decided it's a her) feel free to do so. She's loyal to the A.R.S.S. and only them, because they took her in when nobody else would.

#20 Edited by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay I'm thinking I'll have a PM up within the next day or 2 and maybe post a chapter. Given the nature of the project comedy is probably going to be my motivation but if you'd like to write something serious under this banner feel free just know that this is the one instance where no matter how bad your idea is, its completely welcome here.

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#21 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Comedy is funnier if you play it straight, and even terrible characters get a chance to look good in the right hands

#22 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: i agree, I find it much better if the characters take it serious regardless of the absurdity

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#23 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1636 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Space Horse was a normal white horse and one of the many animals shot into space during the golden age of the space race. He was bombarded by the radiation (ala the Fantastic Four) and was able to talk, fly, breathe in space and shoot lazers from his forehead, he was my version of Superman's horse Comet.

Feel free to do with him as you wish

#24 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio
#25 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio
#26 Edited by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio
#27 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@betatesthighlander1: He could ruin your S.A.T. score by turning your number 2 pencil into a pen rendering your test inadmissible

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#28 Edited by dngn4774 (2803 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe said:

@betatesthighlander1: He could ruin your S.A.T. score by turning your number 2 pencil into a pen rendering your test inadmissible

That evil b*s***d! I knew I was really a genius.

#29 Edited by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: He's possibly responsible for the suicides of several hundred stereotypical Asian sit-com characters.

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#30 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio
#31 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm going to start writing a chapter for this tonight.

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#32 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1636 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@betatesthighlander1: I know, I named him! :) He actually could be very dangerous

howso?

He could ruin your S.A.T. score by turning your number 2 pencil into a pen rendering your test inadmissible

You pencil something in, he turns it to a pen, you miss important meetings, get fired and end up homeless!

#33 Posted by FrozenPhoenix (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: I once drew a monkey villain called Bistro.

He could fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and chain smoked (I was 4 years old).

Bistro was awesome (ok, no he wasn't).

#34 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@betatesthighlander1: I was going the whole make him a master assassin like Bullseye/Taskmaster! Combine that with him messing with your scores, you're dead both on paper and really! Penmanship is good!

#35 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio
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#36 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: I had an idea a while back for a character called the Narrator who has omniscient knowledge of everything going around him for like a 5 mile radius but his power forces him to narrate what's going on but he's forced to spend most of his time convincing people that his secret identity is not Morgan Freeman (By the way he is Morgan Freeman) I wrote it out once and it turned out to be one of the stupidest ideas I ever had.

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#37 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio
#38 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: @frozenphoenix: Bistro ashed his cigar with his toes and slowly breathed a cloud of smoke of his mouth as he looked at the group of Scottish ninjas surrounding him. He tossed the wet nub away "So which one of you pajama people is in charge?"

The group was silent before parting, as a giantic man wielding a Claymore stepped through the group "You are associated with A.R.S.S, you shall die!"

Bistro barred his teeth "I think you'll find, I'm not just a talking chimp" Bistro leapt into the air and flew at the giant pummelling him with all four limbs in a blistering whirlwind attack. The man was unconcious before he hit the floor like a felled tree. Bistro's eyes flared with laser sparks.

"So who's next?"

***

Bistro lit up another cigar as he sat on a pile of unconcious ninjas, fishing around his belt pouch "C'mon, where are you?" Finally he pulled a communicator out and blew the dust off it.

"Never thought I'd need you again" Bistro muttered as he turned it on, it hissed with static as it came to life. Bistro took another drag on his cigar before he spoke into it "This is reserve A.R.S.S member Bistro calling in. I think we're in big trouble!"

#39 Edited by FrozenPhoenix (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Hahaha nice! Apparently he is not to be messed with.

#40 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@frozenphoenix: don't mess with a flying, talking, smoking laser eyed monkey I always say! :)

#41 Edited by HenryDWR (9 posts) - - Show Bio

One idea I just had while screwing around for a dumb idea: The Dancing Dung-Ball! She can control poop, fly on a giant dung ball, and her left hand is a miniature butt to shoot poop out of her hands! (a fact she hates because she's left-handed) Her secret idea is Yvonne A. Pupe, and she got her powers because of a magical virus. Her weakness is urine.

#42 Edited by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio
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#43 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1636 posts) - - Show Bio

@henrydwr said:

One idea I just had while screwing around for a dumb idea: The Dancing Dung-Ball! She can control poop, fly on a giant dung ball, and her left hand is a miniature butt to shoot poop out of her hands! (a fact she hates because she's left-handed) Her secret idea is Yvonne A. Pupe, and she got her powers because of a magical virus. Her weakness is urine.

That's disgusting...write her! :)

#44 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio
#45 Edited by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Everyone bailed on me before it even got started.

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#46 Posted by batkevin74 (10440 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: We got the premis, we have characters, I say you and me do this. Like in the old Iron Age day, I write one, you do one until we get sick of this losers and kill'em!

#47 Posted by joshmightbe (24707 posts) - - Show Bio
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#48 Posted by dngn4774 (2803 posts) - - Show Bio
#49 Edited by cbishop (7207 posts) - - Show Bio
#50 Edited by cbishop (7207 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh, and btw: DISHMAN, with his sidekicks SPIC & SPAN! The only problem is every time someone calls Spic, he answers, "Wha' choo call me, ese?" because he coincidentally happens to be Latino. Span is self-conscious about her name too, because she's a bit on the hefty side. They finally get fed up and change their names to BUSBOY & BUSGIRL. ...This was all before I found out there had been a Dishman title from...Epic or Eclipse...one of the E's. Anyway, kind of a Batman w/Robin & Batgirl vibe, but silly, kitchen type gadget-weaponry. Use them in your farcical tale if you'd like. :)