#1 Edited by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

The car sped along the winding dirt road, kicking up dust as it drove along. Finally, the tires screeched to a sudden halt. The driver did not leave the car; he simply looked at his reflection. He ran his fingers along the network of scars up and down his body, feeling each bump and bruise meticulously. His emerald eyes pierced the night with uncanny vision. His hair looked as if it was made of sand patted down on his head.

A blur of motion sliced his tires swiftly. The man smiled to himself.

"They're here."

The driver exited his car to see a woman with elegant curves throughout her body. She stood tall, displaying her perfect hourglass figure. Her hair was jet black and smooth and draped down at her shoulders. She had a small leather jacket on which gave her the appearance of a biker chick.

"You shouldn't be here, Ro." the woman growled in an animal bellow. "Kajar will be here soon....there are only the two of you left." Her voice grew sweet as honey. "You know what THAT means...."

"I know, Lady." Ro told her. "and I can handle myself."

"Very well." Lady replied sarcastically. In a cloud of brimstone the ancient tome appeared in her hand along with a feathered pen. "I shall record the battle...the victor shall receive the prize..."

In a split second, a second man arrived in a cloud of smoke, which rose from his body. His smile was awful and wicked. He wore tight jeans with a skintight black shirt. His curly hair drooped down just below his neck.

"Are you ready, Ro?" the new man asked.

At that point, the two began circling each other...like prey preparing to pounce on their quarry.

"as ready as I'll ever be, Kajar." Ro replied.

Both men began to change, morphing into a different shape...their clothes torn and skin draped limply on their bones. Their very flesh fell to the ground like pieces of cloth, revealing thick layers of fur underneath.

They had completed their transformations into wolves!

Both let out ear splitting howls in unison.

Ro was the first to strike as his jaws gnashed against Kajar's flesh. Kajar retaliated; raking his claws across Ro's face. The first blood of the battle had been drawn.

The two continued to howl in animal groans as they darted at one another with swift and blinding speed. Offensive and defensive slipped back and forth between the two. When one struck, their opponent struck harder. The intensity increased with every blow.

Lady, meanwhile, had a seat on the cliff side. With swift and nimble fingers she jotted down the events unfolding before her. Her feet dangled off the edge as she clicked them together happily. She smiled slyly as the battle continued.

Kajar's strong jaws bit down on Ro's back. "I killed all of pack one...their last survivor dies tonight!" he cried.

Ro lashed out with amazing strength, striking his foe across the face. "A changeling from pack five winning the prize?" Ro launched himself forward. "I'd like to see you try."

The two locked claws with each other. "So be it." Kajar growled.

Their screeches pierced the silence of the night. They fought tirelessly, both determined to win the fabled prize of the mysterious Lady.

At last, Kajar let out a loud cry of agony. He was misery and pain personified. His fur faded as his skin grew back; revealing his human form. He shriveled up into a fetal position. Tears streamed from his eyes as blood trickled from his nose and lips. "Do it." he whispered angrily. "you won....DO IT!" he cried.

Ro circled his prey, fiendishly savoring the moment, mocking Kajar's pain. "Let it be done." Lady said from afar.

With one strike, it was ended.

Lady descended from her cliff side throne, putting a soft finger to his forehead. "The prize is yours...you may live out the remainder of your days as a mortal man." In a flash of light, Ro was transformed. He was alone, save for his car on the cliff side.

Another piercing light flashed in Ro's eyes. A police car rolled up the road. Two cops cautiously withdrew their guns. Ro put his hands in the air as the cops proceeded towards him...

he couldn't help but smile....

#2 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

#3 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

Good job. I thought the woman just left him to get arrested at first lol.

#4 Posted by Blizaga101 (923 posts) - - Show Bio

ah i loved this. Beautifully descriptive with interesting imagery. I especially like how Lady appeared purely as a witness, gave her character a sinister feel. Im gonna assume the two were werewolves cause i freakin love them, correct me if im wrong cause they could be skin walkers too? (dont like em as much)

#5 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@Blizaga101 said:

ah i loved this. Beautifully descriptive with interesting imagery. I especially like how Lady appeared purely as a witness, gave her character a sinister feel. Im gonna assume the two were werewolves cause i freakin love them, correct me if im wrong cause they could be skin walkers too? (dont like em as much)

they were werewolves. GLAD YOU LIKED THIS!

@AweSam said:

Good job. I thought the woman just left him to get arrested at first lol.

lol, thanks.

#6 Posted by Blizaga101 (923 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: deffinetely a good read, but id love to see more too this character. You should try write a origin possibly cause the lore seemed interesting and the Pack 1, Pack 5 dynamic seemed unique. And id love to find out more bout the "lady"

#7 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@Blizaga101 said:

@primepower53: deffinetely a good read, but id love to see more too this character. You should try write a origin possibly cause the lore seemed interesting and the Pack 1, Pack 5 dynamic seemed unique. And id love to find out more bout the "lady"

I've definitely considered it since I first wrote the story. :)

#8 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

#9 Posted by Kal'smahboi (3502 posts) - - Show Bio

Loved it, Prime. Great little story. Love to see more of this.

#10 Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k (3722 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: You just wanted to grap my attention with that almost empty message. Didn`t you?

Splendid.

@AweSam said:

Good job. I thought the woman just left him to get arrested at first lol.

So, she did do so? I thought that she did...

I don`t get it...

#11 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@kfhrfdu_89_76k said:

@primepower53: You just wanted to grap my attention with that almost empty message. Didn`t you?

Splendid.

@AweSam said:

Good job. I thought the woman just left him to get arrested at first lol.

So, she did do so? I thought that she did...

I don`t get it...

I may have mistaken you for someone else, but I think you've read some of my stuff and I thought you'd be interested.

It's basically immortal werewolves trying to fight to become mortal and live a normal life, but at the end the cops arrive in response to the fight.

#12 Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k (3722 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53:

I have.

Oh, I see. So I was right about the ending, wasn`t I? Nice.

#13 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@kfhrfdu_89_76k said:

@primepower53:

I have.

Oh, I see. So I was right about the ending, wasn`t I? Nice.

thanks

#14 Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k (3722 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53:

Well...you`re welcome.

You should develop yourself more as a writer (you`re pretty good already, but there`s always room for improvement) and then publish a book. Maybe a short story novel.

#15 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@kfhrfdu_89_76k said:

@primepower53:

Well...you`re welcome.

You should develop yourself more as a writer (you`re pretty good already, but there`s always room for improvement) and then publish a book. Maybe a short story novel.

THANKS!

I actually have submitted a few of my stories to a few magazines but I hear back from the editors in 30 days.

@Kal'smahboi said:

Loved it, Prime. Great little story. Love to see more of this.

thanks!

#16 Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k (3722 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53:

Applause!

#17 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

please read this

#18 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@AweSam: @kfhrfdu_89_76k: @Kal'smahboi:

provided some concept art :D

#19 Posted by Blizaga101 (923 posts) - - Show Bio

:D

#20 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@Blizaga101 said:

:D

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, BLIZAGA! BE PROUD!

#21 Posted by Blizaga101 (923 posts) - - Show Bio

I actually have submitted a few of my stories to a few magazines but I hear back from the editors in 30 day

I didnt know you started sending pieces away prime!?, good luck with that im sure those mags will love em :P

#22 Posted by Blizaga101 (923 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: pride is a sin :/... aww dammit ill turn christian again in the morning :P

#23 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@Blizaga101 said:

I actually have submitted a few of my stories to a few magazines but I hear back from the editors in 30 day

I didnt know you started sending pieces away prime!?, good luck with that im sure those mags will love em :P

:D thanks!

If only I could write a novel for DC/Marvel....

#24 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@Blizaga101 said:

@primepower53: pride is a sin :/... aww dammit ill turn christian again in the morning :P

Do it! HAVE PRIDE!

#25 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: Everything looks fine except the faces. I don't really like them. That's just my opinion though.

#26 Posted by evilvegeta74 (4523 posts) - - Show Bio

This is good stuff! I enjoyed this very much!

#27 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: He gave up being a wolf to be human...D!c#e@d!!!!! Seriously I'd rather be a wolf than a person somedays. What i liked about this (hopefully I read this correctly) but they're humans who can turn into wolves and NOT werewolves. I liked that because vampires and werewolves arn't my cups of tea

#28 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@evilvegeta74 said:

This is good stuff! I enjoyed this very much!

thanks!@batkevin74 said:

@primepower53: He gave up being a wolf to be human...D!c#e@d!!!!! Seriously I'd rather be a wolf than a person somedays. What i liked about this (hopefully I read this correctly) but they're humans who can turn into wolves and NOT werewolves. I liked that because vampires and werewolves arn't my cups of tea

Imagine living for thousands of years cursed to fight to the death with other werewolves....I'd pick being human to....

#29 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: No worse than going to work everyday :) But are they werewolves? Because from the way you've written it it's people who turn in wolves and fight, not hybrid wolf-monsters! I get the definition of a werewolf but from what you've written its man and wolf form

#30 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@primepower53: No worse than going to work everyday :) But are they werewolves? Because from the way you've written it it's people who turn in wolves and fight, not hybrid wolf-monsters! I get the definition of a werewolf but from what you've written its man and wolf form

LOL!

They're more lycans or whatever the term is for someone who can change into a wolf at will.

#31 Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k (3722 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53:

Cool.

#32 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@kfhrfdu_89_76k said:

@primepower53:

Cool.

IKR!

#33 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1649 posts) - - Show Bio

This fits in with my opinion of vampires...it's not that it isn't well written; I just despise vampire & werewolf stories, also elves, due to the market saturation by Hollywood, TV and terrible books like Twilight which spawn more TV and movies and books and the cycle goes around again! You have written this piece well, I just do not like the subject (which to be fair isn't your fault). Good writing but not for me

#34 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson said:

This fits in with my opinion of vampires...it's not that it isn't well written; I just despise vampire & werewolf stories, also elves, due to the market saturation by Hollywood, TV and terrible books like Twilight which spawn more TV and movies and books and the cycle goes around again! You have written this piece well, I just do not like the subject (which to be fair isn't your fault). Good writing but not for me

LOL! Thanks I guess.

You tend to say that about all my stories...

I recently wrote one that is somewhat of a thriller/horror, if you're interested

The Wicked Smile

#35 Posted by MsMarvel22 (166 posts) - - Show Bio

Good work as usual

#36 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@MsMarvel22 said:

Good work as usual

thanks!

#37 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#38 Posted by poze (225 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: Really good! I like it!

#39 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@poze: thank you very much!

#40 Posted by SyIar (405 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53 said:

@AweSam: @kfhrfdu_89_76k: @Kal'smahboi:

provided some concept art :D

Great story and artwork dude!

The lady is very interesting and I would like to see more of her as well as these packs.

#41 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@SyIar said:

@primepower53 said:

@AweSam: @kfhrfdu_89_76k: @Kal'smahboi:

provided some concept art :D

Great story and artwork dude!

The lady is very interesting and I would like to see more of her as well as these packs.

Thank you!

#42 Posted by wildvine (8760 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe should have read this one first...

Moderator
#43 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Maybe should have read this one first...

yes, yes you should have.

Although a few of the things mentioned in this are non-canon since I have two chapters left to write in THE MYSTERIOUS LADY (typing and editing is a different story)

I have chapters one and two posted.