Terra/Misfit: World's Finest #1

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#1  Edited By Joygirl

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the debut of my latest fanfic! Terra/Misfit: World's Finest! Will probably be rated T+ but seeing as it's me, could range into M territory. Considering the characters, it isn't likely. This story takes place in the same universe as Gotham Hearts, DC Genesis: Secret Six, and DC Genesis: Deathstroke and Ravager. I hope everyone enjoys. ^_^

Chapter Two is up over here!

------------------------------------------------

“Welcome to your new apartment, Miss Gage-Radcliffe.”

“Killeeeeer.”

Charlotte, AKA Charlie, AKA Misfit, took a step into her new abode. It wasn’t much, not a mansion or a penthouse or anything crazy like that. Just a second story apartment in a quiet New York neighborhood. It had been two weeks of living in Motel 6’s since she’d left the team she’d never officially been a part of – the Birds of Prey. Not ironically, she hadn’t really fit in. Out of the goodness of her heart (or perhaps out of fear of some wicked dark vengeance, Charlie thought more likely), Barbara Gordon, codename Oracle, had given her a credit card. She wasn’t entirely sure what the limit on it was, but considering that she was planning on crime-fighting and shopping full-time, Charlie made the decision to be frugal with her apartment.

“I hope all is well, ma’am,” the balding, shabbily-suited landlord said politely, nodding to her before turning to go.

“Oh yeah, it’s totally awesome! Like, for realsies!” She turned slightly to face the man who’d just rented her the place, but he was already long gone. “Ah well. Time to get a look at the new bat-apartment! Or… misfit-apartment. Mis-partment. Suddenly I feel the need for a name that better lends itself to kick-ass prefixes.”

Charlie hefted her big, dark purple backpack over her right shoulder, giving the left a much needed break as she stepped inside and kicked the door shut. She immediately began to bounce from room to room, a faint purple *poof!* marking her departure each time she teleported, getting to know her new abode. It was medium-sized, with a living room, kitchen, bathroom, master bedroom, guest room, and storage closet. More than she needed, obviously, but she did say she’d be living frugally, not like some kinda hobo.

“Alllllright. Time to get the new costume together, I suppose… by tonight I need to introduce a whole new city to what dark vengeance is all about.”

---------------------------------

“So… no more movies?”

“No more movies, kiddo. I’m sorry.”

“No more pizza?”

“No more—look, it’s not like I’m gonna be gone forever, alright? The JSA need me on Mars for a while… you can stay at my place while I’m gone. And you can still get movies and pizza while I’m not here.” Kara Zor-L, also known as Power Girl, frowned softly and reached down to ruffle her fingers through a particular mop of silky black hair.

“But why do yooou have to go?” Atlee protested, hugging tightly to her friend and tugging that white unitard in ways that stretched Power Girl’s infamous cleavage window beyond decency. “Bizarro is Superman’s problem, not yours! You belong in Manhattan with me! With the cotton candy!”

“Superman’s busy with Braniac, hon…” Kara sighed softly, dropping to one knee to properly look into the smaller girl’s eyes. “Look, it won’t be for that long. A couple of days to find him, beat him, clean up the mess. I’d take you along but I don’t want to risk you… well, not being able to survive in space. And admit it, Bizarro’s just a smidge above your paygrade.”

“I don’t get paid at all!” Atlee protested.

“Huh. I guess you’ve kinda got me there, don’t you? I’ll tell ya what, I’ll leave my debit card with you. Go out, have fun, protect the city. I’ll be back before you know it. Just try not to spend too… excitedly.”

“Fine…” Atlee folded her arms and sulked, sticking her bottom lip out slightly as she mumbled. “Go get pizza by myself….”

“You’re a tough kid. Show me your tough face!” Kara smiled slyly and Atlee tried to hold back a smirk of her own. She then made a fist and screwed up her face in a tough, “mean” expression.

“Grrrr!” she tried, before falling into a playful laugh. “Just don’t be too long, okay?”

“I won’t, promise.” She turned and gazed up into the sky, taking a deep breath. “I guess it’s up, up and away, and all that.” Power Girl pushed out one fist and rocketed into the sky at kryptonian speeds, quickly becoming a speck in the distance.

“Wait… wait, wait!” Atlee’s eyes suddenly widened, and she took a meaningless step forward. “Waaaaaaait!”

“…You forgot to show me how the toaster woooorks!”

---------------------------------

Finally, a chance to have a real costume. Batman t-shirts, rubber kitchen gloves, and jean skirts… well, they worked as a replacement. But if she was gonna be “Misfit, plague of evildoers, protector of big apples, bringer of totally dark vengeance”, and make a real name for herself, then she’d have to look the part.

The costume had been a pain to get a hold of, but easier with a little cash. It was partly bought and partly made, with a little gift from Oracle thrown in.

She started suiting up by struggling into her lightweight leather bodysuit, midnight blue. One pantleg only reached her knee, mimicking the tights of her old costume, and that black, stylized “M” decorated her modest chest. A slim black utility belt stocked with batarangs and some various gasses separated the bottom and top sections.

Next came her black combat boots (some things are just a must-have) and matching gloves, complete with hardened plates on the knuckles for some really sweet knockout punches. Next, a long black bat-cape, complete with the gliding abilities that the real bat-folks used, and then her gift from Oracle – a pair of simple, dark, small goggles that could see in various frequencies, allowing her to see in the dark and maybe even pick up some chemical clues. She was on her own, now, so she’d have to be a real detective. She couldn’t rely on the Nerds of Prey to direct her, not anymore.

But she didn’t need them!

She teleported out of her sparsely-furnished apartment and out into the streets of Manhattan. It was night… and dark and stuff… the perfect time for seriously uncool things to happen that she could easily prevent. Like taking a bowling ball from a quadriplegic baby. Probably.

Empty alley….

*bounce!*

Empty alley.

*bounce!*

Ssssss! Empty alley!

*bounce!*

It may not have been quite as easy as she was thinking… now that she considered it, New York had been under the watchful eye of Power Girl for the last couple of months. But she just stopped alien invasions and dinosaur attacks, right? Not low-grade robberies? Surely something that inconsequential wasn’t a job for the one and only Peegee?

Then again, if she were a criminal in Power Girl territory, she’d be pretty cautious too.

“Yo, Chuckles? You got the stuff, man?” It was faint; a whisper in a dark alley, but Misfit heard it. She pursed her lips curiously and tipped her goggles down off of her head, flicking on the infrared functions and the chem-trace. Yeah. The chem-trace. Wicked.

“I got it man, just be quiet. Kryptonian hearin’ an all that.”

Don’t say the K-word, ya nincompoop! They keep an ear out for that, yer lucky she hasn’t already come and scooped ya up and fried ya with heat vision!”

“Yeesh, keep it down, bozo. Here, take it man, just pay me and get out.

“Hahah! I don’t think so!” Charlie suddenly declared, bouncing a few feet away from whatever kind of deal was in progress. Whatever it was, she knew it couldn’t be good. “I’ll give you one chance to hand over your… um… goods! And give me the scoop on your operation! The alternative is very dark, and very vengeful – I don’t recommend it!”

Her night-vision goggles didn’t show much of interest – shifty reddish forms, one fat, the other thin, one holding a package holding something bluish… colder than the surrounding temperature. Mysterious, but whatever. She’d totally figure it out.

“Well?”

“…”

“…Run for it!” One yelled, the one that had been called bozo. The fat one. Both men began to run as fast as possible, holding tightly onto the package (whatever it was). One bounce later and Misfit was ahead of them, a cocky smile on her face as she tossed forward a pair of batarangs, one bouncing off of either head and leaving its target sprawled in the alley.

“DARK MOTHERFLIPPIN’ VENGEANCE! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!” she exclaimed joyously, delivering a quick kick to the head of Chuckles, who seemed to be stirring.

“Now for the investigation. This will be… less fun.” Both men wore dirty, grubby overcoats, they were greasy and unwashed… your typical henchmen or bottom-feeder criminals. “Grossgrossgrossgross…” she squealed silently as she reached into their respective coats, withdrawing their wallets and the package, then wiping her hands off on… nothing nearby.

Misfit quickly teleported back to her apartment, squirming awkwardly and desperately trying to wriggle out of her outfit, trying to throw off every piece at once. The only thing on her mind was a shower. “Yuck! I know thugs have to be, like, dirty, but do they have to be so dirty?” She exclaimed, hopping up and down on one foot as she tried to struggle out of her leather suit. Whatever the package and wallets contained, it could wait until tomorrow… or at least until after she’d showered and gotten a soda or three.

---------------------------------

“Can I get some ID, kid? I’m pretty sure you’re too young to get a pitcher of beer with this. How old are you?”

Atlee tilted down her sunglasses, glaring meaningfully at the discriminatory waiter. “I could tell you… but then I’d have to kill you,” she said seriously, before pushing her shades back up and staring coldly at the man.

“…So… that’s one root beer, and an extra large deluxe with extra cheese? This to go?”

“For here.”

“Kid… I… okay, whatever.” The man slapped his palm across his face and turned back to the kitchen, calling the order in.

When the pizza came, it suddenly became quite clear to her that Kara was a pretty big eater. She had assumed that, since they usually got two extra larges and finished them both, just one would work for her. She had been incorrect. It seemed that Power Girl ate more than her fair share.

The black-haired girl let out a long, thunderous burp after managing to finish about three quarters of her order, causing a minor tremor in the earth beneath her. She quickly squeaked and glanced around, hoping nobody would notice… nobody was looking at her as far as she could tell. Probably afraid to be caught looking at a superspy. She hoped that she wasn’t too obvious.

She paid her bill and left the pizza place shortly after, pulling her tan trenchcoat around herself tightly and keeping her sharp sunglasses down. She was an international woman of mystery, and nobody would ever know if she stayed dressed like this – of that much she was sure. So, in the safety of her disguise, she made her next stop the mall! Specifically, “Battlestar Galaga”, the largest arcade in the area.

It was somewhat dark inside, which made getting around with her sunglasses slightly challenging, though the bright flashing lights of the various consoles and arcade games made specific objects a bit easier to locate. She tipped her shades up momentarily to see what a certain stand was – it was Soul Calibur 4. She’d played 3 with Kara a few times and always kicked her butt at it, so it was worth giving it a shot.

“Insert Coin(s)” the machine stated proudly as computerized demo matches between alien monsters and busty greek women played across the screen. Atlee glanced around the arcade for anyone who might be looking – not too many people, just a boy with frizzy brown hair who seemed to be trying to figure out why she was wearing a trenchcoat and shades – such was life as Atlee, the superspy, but it was worth it.

She slid the debit card out of her inside pocket and knelt down, placing the tip at the coin dispenser and trying to push it inside. It didn’t fit. Atlee glanced from side to side again and tried to shove it in, bending the corner slightly but still failing. “Darnit!” she exclaimed quietly, whispering to herself. “Kara said this was money and could buy whatever I wanted… this stupid place doesn’t take real money!”

“You try actually getting coins, like it says?” came a voice from behind the stratan, confident but light, obviously that of a girl.

Atlee spun on her heel quickly, pursing her lips and tensing her brow to put on her best spy-face. The girl in front of her looked about her age, wearing jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt with the Green Lantern logo. She had long, straight, dark red hair, and her face was heavily dusted with freckles. She was adorable in a “petite teenager” kind of way, not quite as curvy as Atlee had become at her age.

“I… I don’t need coins. I have a debit card.”

The girl smirked, quirking an eyebrow and raising one hand to stifle a giggle. “Yeah, that’ll get you far in an arcade. Maybe if you go to the clerk he can hook you up.”

“But… this is supposed to be all the money I need! I got it from the, um… Scotland Yard. It’s a special debit card.” Atlee folded her arms under her breasts with a pout, made all the more intensely silly by her dark glasses.

“Mhm, I’m sure you did, but in this particular case S1:7 may have been more helpful, because at least they pay in gold once you get high enough level,” the girl giggled finally, unable to restrain her choked snorts of mirth. “Come on, why don’t we go to the machine and get you some tokens… goofball.”

“I don’t nee – I am not a goofball. I am a very important woman.” Atlee protested, but followed along behind the redhead anyway, glancing back at the machine with a huff.

“I’m Charlie, by the way,” the girl said smugly, glancing back for a moment to make sure the other teen was following her. “I just moved in, so I need to start making new friends, I guess. I had tons of friends back in Gotham, but my destiny took me here. Pretty cool, huh?”

Atlee’s sunglasses actually served their purpose this time, mildly disguising the blank look she had on her face. “I’m…” Uh oh. She hadn’t actually thought of a name for her secret identity. “…I’m Atlee,” she gave in, finally reaching the machine and twisting her lips when she saw the slot for the debit card. Some arcade.

“So, you come here often, Atlee?” the girl said playfully, smirking but obviously a bit curious about the name. It certainly wasn’t commonplace where she came from, but she was in a whole new city – maybe people gave their daughters nonsense names regularly in New York.

“Not a lot, actually… this is my second time here, it seems a lot darker than before.”

Charlie arched a brow and snickered, reaching forward to flick the girl’s sunglasses up onto her head.

“…Oh, no, I guess it’s about the same.”

“You gonna get some tokens or what? I wanna play Arctic Thunder but it’s so lame against the computer.”

“…Arctic Thunder?”

“Racing game, snowmobiles, inappropriately vibrating seat?”

Atlee stared vacantly at the other girl.

“Jeez, didn’t your parents ever take you to Chuck E. Cheese’s or anything?”

“Chuckie Cheeses?”

“…I’ll show you when we get there. Come on, buy some tokens. I’m gonna whoop your butt so haaaaaard."

---------------------------------

“Dear Strata,” the dark-haired girl whimpered as she tilted the handlebars, scrolling through characters.

Charlie glanced over idly from her own seat, already sitting on her own character, Candy Ice. This Atlee girl was like, weeeeird. Seriously, who tries to play Soul Calibur with a debit card? “What is it?”

If Atlee had been a cartoon character, her eyes would have been replaced by hearts. “They have a monkey!

“Ponzo? He’s a yeti, not a monkey.”

Seemingly not hearing her, Atlee slammed onto the start button, her mouth in a wide smile.

“You picked him? Pfff… your funeral,” Charlie chuckled to herself and leaned forward, putting on her game face and setting both hands on the handlebars, pretending to twist them and going “vroom” while giving Atlee and intimidating glare.

“Me and Mr. Monkey can beat anyone… you’ll see. Your girl is no match for our monkey strength!”

“Shyeah, right! Candy Ice rulez supreme!”

Ready!

Set!

GO!

Both girls immediately began to focus like their lives were on the line, swerving and hopping from side to side and only looking away from the screen to stink-eye one another. At first it looked like Atlee had no chance – she wasn’t fast or maneuverable enough, nor was she as skilled at the game as Charlie. She was lagging behind, managing to make most of the jumps but not getting many power-ups, and bumping against a good number of walls and other obstacles.

Charlie, driving the mechanic girl, narrowed her eyes and kept cruising forward, chewing her bottom lip and turning to glare at Atlee for a moment, ignoring the increasingly difficult-to-ignore vibration coming from her seat. When she glanced back, her eyes widened. “Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap!” she squealed, her snowmobile crashing violently into a tight turn and sending her player tumbling. “Noooooo craaaaap!”

“Bwaaahahaha!” Atlee roared as her fuzzy white ape zoomed past, sliding up the final ramp and slamming past the finish line. “Yes yes yes!” the girl shrieked, jumping off of the seat and pointing both index fingers at Charlie. “I win I win I win, and you lose, nyeaaah!” She stuck her tongue out evilly, continuing to dance and jeer.

“Pffff… I woulda won if you hadn’t distracted me… I was totally pwning you.”

“Yeah right! “Pwn” this!” she giggled maniacally, turning to shake her backside at the redheaded girl, her trenchcoat swaying from side to side.

“Okay, okay, you win… good game,” Charlie said soothingly, a slight smile curling her lips. This girl was weird as all hell, but she had to admit – Atlee was fun to have around.

--------------------------

Wonder what happened to Power Girl? Find out!

Avatar image for rav4
rav4

1689

Forum Posts

3306

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 7

#2  Edited By rav4

And the most adorable team up in history is go!

Avatar image for nordok
Nordok

2828

Forum Posts

5

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By Nordok  Moderator

Bravo!

Avatar image for fuchsia_nightingale
Fuchsia_Nightingale

10191

Forum Posts

45

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: -1

@Joygirl: Very well done,

Great voice and flow, you win and extra big heart

<3

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#5  Edited By Joygirl

@Ravager4: @Nordok: @Fuchsia_Nightingale: Thanks everypeople! More coming whenever the hell I get around to it!

No Caption Provided

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16829

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#6  Edited By batkevin74

@Joygirl: I had to look up Terra because my first thought was Terra from the Titans, until now I'd never even heard of this new Terra. Now that I have, this team up is amazing! Funny, sweet, enjoyable @Joygirl said:

“You’re a tough kid. Show me your tough face!” Kara smiled slyly and Atlee tried to hold back a smirk of her own. She then made a fist and screwed up her face in a tough, “mean” expression.

“Jeez, didn’t your parents ever take you to Chuck E. Cheese’s or anything?”

“Yeah right! “Pwn” this!” she giggled maniacally, turning to shake her backside at the redheaded girl, her trenchcoat swaying from side to side.

Good work indeed!

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#7  Edited By Joygirl

@batkevin74: Oh gaaaaawd, you don't know Atlee? Go read the first 12 issues of Power Girl and then you will have permission to speak to me again!

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16829

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#8  Edited By batkevin74

@Joygirl: Power Girl had a comic? :)

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#9  Edited By Joygirl

@batkevin74: Yesss.

Avatar image for the_poet
The Poet

8646

Forum Posts

116846

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 84

User Lists: 99

#10  Edited By The Poet  Moderator

@Joygirl: very cool!

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#11  Edited By Joygirl

@The Poet: Thanks! ^_^ More to come hopefully, still trying to figure an exact plotline.

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#12  Edited By Joygirl

Bump for cuties!

Avatar image for irishlad
Irishlad

661

Forum Posts

2005

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 2

#13  Edited By Irishlad

I don't know Terra like batkevin I immediately of the Teen Titans version guess I'm a nincompoop for that :P

It was a good fun read :P to people who haven't commented...

No Caption Provided
Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#14  Edited By Joygirl

Buuuump c'mon folks.

Avatar image for project_worm
Project_Worm

4362

Forum Posts

16

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#15  Edited By Project_Worm

Heh.. I didn't know who this other Terra was either...

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#16  Edited By Joygirl

@Project_Worm: Did nobody read the Power Girl solo?! It was fantastic.

Avatar image for project_worm
Project_Worm

4362

Forum Posts

16

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#17  Edited By Project_Worm

@Joygirl said:

@Project_Worm: Did nobody read the Power Girl solo?! It was fantastic.

Of course not. It was a Power Girl SOLO...

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#18  Edited By Joygirl

@Project_Worm: But it was terrific!

Avatar image for project_worm
Project_Worm

4362

Forum Posts

16

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#19  Edited By Project_Worm

@Joygirl: I'll just go ahead and take your word for it...

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#20  Edited By Joygirl

Another bump because everyone is supposed to looove this.

Avatar image for jackson_hartley
Jackson_Hartley

193

Forum Posts

1530

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#21  Edited By Jackson_Hartley

That was a fun read. I enjoyed goofiness between the girls and the thing with the credit card was funny.

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#22  Edited By Joygirl

Whew...next issue is finished but needs to be edited, car trouble and stuff has left my situation a bit of a wreck. But I promise that before too long I'll have more of this and more Secret Six up on the vine. If I don't get distracted writing Half in Darkness, Chronicles of a Villainess, Chronicles of the Solar Order, or some short story.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16829

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#23  Edited By batkevin74
No Caption Provided

Bumped coz I'm about to read part 2 and this makes it easier to find for everyone :)

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16829

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#24  Edited By batkevin74

wow another bump....have you read this? Yes you

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#25  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

Sorry i have just now read this. I don't know which part is my favorite. I guess i would say Misfits dialogue. DARK MOTHERFLIPPIN JUSTICE. This is great. JSA is still my fav story you write, but this is great too.

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#26  Edited By 4donkeyjohnson

Excellent! Bit late to the party but well worth it! Great job

Avatar image for xxxddd
xxxddd

3861

Forum Posts

29703

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

#27  Edited By xxxddd

@Joygirl:

These are more of noob questions rather than feedback:

1. Is it better to write in a story narrative or script narrative?

2. How long do you usually spend developing each story?

3. Do you write the story down on paper and workshop it before putting it up?

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#28  Edited By Joygirl

Happy to answer. 1. Story narrative, better known as "prose". 2. Depends on what you mean by "developing". Writing each individual short chapter generally takes between two and three hours, though I often spend some free time plotting it beforehand. 3. Absolutely. I don't trust any browser not to erase my work before it's completed.

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#29  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

@Joygirl said:

Another bump because everyone is supposed to looove this.

This. : D

Avatar image for andrewtheking
andrewtheking

1004

Forum Posts

63

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 59

#30  Edited By andrewtheking

COOL!!!!!!!

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#31  Edited By wildvine  Moderator
No Caption Provided
Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#32  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

Avatar image for razzatazz
RazzaTazz

11948

Forum Posts

234582

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1887

User Lists: 79

#33  Edited By RazzaTazz
@Joygirl:   I like it, nice dialogue
Avatar image for delphic
Delphic

1705

Forum Posts

10567

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 47

User Lists: 18

#34  Edited By Delphic

Good stuff, I really enjoyed it and even laughed at it a few times. In a way it sort of captures the silliness of the earlier issues in the latest run of Power Girl. Those might not have been my favorite issues, but that doesn't make what you've written any less enjoyable :P If I have to point out one thing though, right at the end where Charlie says Atlee distracted her, and that was why she crashed into the wall, you left out just how Atlee distracted her, if she even really distracted her.

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#35  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

@Delphic said:

Good stuff, I really enjoyed it and even laughed at it a few times. In a way it sort of captures the silliness of the earlier issues in the latest run of Power Girl. Those might not have been my favorite issues, but that doesn't make what you've written any less enjoyable :P If I have to point out one thing though, right at the end where Charlie says Atlee distracted her, and that was why she crashed into the wall, you left out just how Atlee distracted her, if she even really distracted her.

Sorry! This is 's story. I'm just promoting.

Avatar image for delphic
Delphic

1705

Forum Posts

10567

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 47

User Lists: 18

#36  Edited By Delphic

@wildvine: Oops sorry! I should have checked to see who the poster was.

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#37  Edited By Joygirl

Thanks guys. ^_^ @Delphic, yeah, it's a little shorter on detail than it could be. Just meant for that to be more of a sore loser kinda thing.

Avatar image for sc
SC

18454

Forum Posts

182748

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 25

User Lists: 0

#38  Edited By SC  Moderator

Awh freaking awesome characterization. I really felt like I was reading Misfit and Atlee, and I read that very underrated Powergirl series, its sad more didn't. You built up great dialogue between both characters, and did a great job of conveying their quirks and mannerisms, it made their interaction fun when it came around and yey for Soul Calibur references. A plus for sure *off to read next part*

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#39  Edited By Joygirl

@SC: Yay! So happy you enjoyed it and you actually know the characters (both of them!) which is a rare treat, almost nobody that reads this knows both of the girls. XD

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16829

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#40  Edited By batkevin74
No Caption Provided

@Joygirl: Smacked to the top!

Avatar image for dngn4774
dngn4774

5622

Forum Posts

41

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 22

#41  Edited By dngn4774

I love how both of their personalities complete each other. Neither of them are fully mature, but they both have a lot of potential.