PREVIOUSLY: VEILED VACATIONINGS - PENNY OFF A DEAD MAN'S EYE - AS THE CLOCK STRUCK THIRTEEN
HELL HATH NO FÜHRY - Rated M
Page 1.
1.1
Hitler grovels at Eva’s feet.
HITLER: I-it was all a ruse, I assure you!
HITLER: Just as you fooled the prisoner before, I too stalled him, that you might--
1.2
Eva kneels down to look Hitler in the eyes, smiling.
EVA: Ohhhhh, Adolf…
1.3
Same shot.
EVA: …I wasn’t fooling.
1.4
Eva stands up, pointing her gun back at Hitler. A pair of henchmen walk up to them.
EVA: Put the Führer in a cell, then round up his liability-club.
EVA: And open the doorway.
Page 2.
2.1
The henchmen drag Hitler past a square, white portal that’s appeared in the center of the room.
HITLER: DARLING, ONE MORE CHANCE!
HITLER: AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE GIVEN YOU!
2.2
Eva walks into the portal.
EVA: You gave me a memorable face.
EVA: What else could anyone ever want from you?
2.3
Large panel of Eva’s face, eyes closed, on a bright psychedelic background.
Page 3.
3.1
Eva wakes up with a jolt, sitting behind the desk of an expensive looking office. Her right wrist is resting on the desk, and her hair has been dyed a much darker shade. The sun is rising outside the window
EVA: GUUH!
3.2
Eva wipes her eyes with her left hand.
EVA: Mmmm… Damn…
3.3
Eva’s right hand lifts a perfectly clean razor blade off the desk.
3.4
Eva puts the razor blade into her purse. Next to the purse, there’s a name plate saying “EVA BARRETT: SECRETARY OF STATE”
CAPTION: EARTH, WASHINGTON DC.
Page 4.
4.1
Fury’s tired face on a black background. He is, of course, still shirtless.
4.2
Fury falls through more blackness.
4.3
A giant, waving American flag appears behind Fury.
4.4
Fury gets buffeted by the flag, sending him flying across from it.
SFX: FWIP
FURY: UGN!
Page 5.
5.1
Fury slams into some flapping red cloth.
FURY: uhh
5.2
Zoom out to show Fury’s now on a giant Soviet flag. He bounces off this too.
SFX: FWIP
FURY: GNAA
5.3
Nick flies towards a giant white wall on the blackness.
FURY: AAAAAAA
5.4
We see the white wall is actually snowy ground under a black sky. Fury lands head first in it.
SFX: FWMP
5.5
Fury lies face down in the snow, which extends into the horizon behind him. More snow is now falling.
FURY: -mhhh-mhhh-mhhh-
5.6
Same shot. Fury starts to get up out of the snow, his breath visible.
FURY: -pant-pant-pant-
5.7
Same shot. There’s an explosion in the distance behind Fury.
SFX: FOOOOOOOOOOM
Page 6.
6.1
Fury, stands up more, as silhouetted soldier fire machine guns at him through the snow. The snow only seems to go up to his ankles.
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
FURY: -pant-pant-pant-
6.2
Fury wades through the snow, away from the soldiers. The snow seems slightly deeper now, up to his knees.
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
FURY: -pant-pant-pant-
6.3
Fury runs into more silhouette soldiers in front of him, also firing. The snow is almost up his waist now. The soldiers are still standing on top of the snow, shooting just over him.
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
FURY: -PANT-PANT-PANT-
6.4
Fury tries turning back, but the snow is so high he’s practically swimming in it.
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
FURY: -PANT-PANT-PANT-
6.5
The snow has now risen above Fury’s mouth. Only his terrified eye and his right arm are sticking out of it.
SFX: BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA-BRAKA
Page 7.
7.1
All black.
FURy: gh
7.2
Same shot. Fury is now visible, glowing slightly orange. He’s buried under the snow.
FURY: GH
7.3
Same shot. Fury’s entire body is now on fire. He’s still under the snow.
FURY: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
7.4
Same shot. Fury is extinguished, but the snow in his immediate area has been replaced with water.
FURY: -GASP-
7.5
Same shot. The water now fills the entire panel, and is starting to boil.
7.6
Same shot. The water around Fury boils harder, as he flails his limbs around him. A muscular arm can be seen coming up from the bottom of the panel.
7.7
Same shot. The arm grabs Fury’s ankle.
7.8
Same shot. The arm pulls Fury down below the bottom of the panel.
Page 8.
8.1
Fury, wet and red, tries to stand up. He’s on the edge of a bottomless pit. The stranger who pulled him out of the water stands in the foreground.
FURY: -pant-pant-pant-
8.2
Same shot. Fury looks up at the stranger.
FURY: -pant?
8.3
The stranger looks down at Fury in disgust. It’s young Fury, as he was during WWII, both eyes and all. The ceiling above him is made of lava.
8.4
Young Fury knees Fury in the face.
SFX: KRAK
8.5
Fury falls back from the hit, into the bottomless pit.
Page 9.
9.1
Fury falls, barely conscious. The ground below him is snowy again, but has a giant maze on it.
9.2
Fury lands in the snow inside the maze. The walls of it are covered in graffiti of soviet iconography.
SFX: THUMP
9.3
Fury lies in the snow, his eye closed.
9.4
Same shot. Fury opens his eye.
9.5
The exit to the maze is directly in front of Fury.
9.6
Same as 9.4. Fury starts crawling forward.
Page 10.
10.1
Same as 9.5. A giant hand comes down, slamming another wall over the exit.
10.2
Same as 9.6. Fury tilts his head upwards.
10.3
Large panel. A gigantic, eight armed Uncle Sam towers over the maze, holding more walls in each hand.
CAPTION: HELL, THE CENTER CIRCLE.
10.4
Same as 10.2
FURY: …
FURY (small text): yeah, figures
Page 11.
11.1
Earth. Eva walks up the steps of the capitol building, while someone speaks off to the side of the panel. There’s a hotdog stand at the bottom of the steps, with a line of customers. A woman with two kids is at the back of the line.
???: Just because I didn’t expect to be here doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it!
11.2
Same shot. Eva continues up the steps.
???: I dunno, maybe they’ll never bring me back! You ever think of that?
???: Like they really needed one more gun up there with all the capes! ‘Least we can try this for a while!
11.3
Same shot. Just as Eva reaches the top of the steps, Fury Jr. walks into frame, wearing a three piece suit and carrying a briefcase as he talks on his cell phone.
FURY JR.: Today’s fine! President needs the reports today, I already met the guy, it’s all cool!
FURY JR.: I don’t need to be there! We talked two, maybe three times! Meant nothing!
11.4
Same shot. Fury Jr. reaches the hotdog line.
FURY JR.: TELL THEM I’M DOING MY JOB!
FURY JR.: GOD DAMN, MAN! GO PLAY WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA’S **** ALL I CARE!
11.5
Same shot. Fury Jr. hangs up, looking down at his phone, while the whole hot dog line looks at him.
FURY JR.: …
FURY JR. (small text): Few more minutes.
11.6
Same shot. Fury Jr. points at the woman with the kids, while the whole line keeps looking at him.
FURY JR.: Starts here?
Page 12.
12.1
Hell. Fury lies against one of the walls covered in soviet graffiti. He looks even older now, grey and emaciated. His eye is closed. It’s snowing again.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: sg
FURY: mm
12.2
Same shot.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: SARGE!
FURY: mm?
12.3
Same shot. The graffiti is now of HYDRA and its members.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: Sergeant, we got an exit for you, but we don’t have much ti--
FURY: heh… s’no exit…
12.4
Same shot. The graffiti is now of Latveria and Doctor Doom.
FURY: s’alwaysss…
CAPTION: JUNIPER: SARGE. YOU’RE NOT DONE YET!
12.5
Same shot. The graffiti is now of Skrulls.
FURY: nerrrrr duuuunnnn…
CAPTION: JUNIPER: DAMMIT, NICK!
12.6
Same shot. The graffiti is now of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Contessa Fontaine.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: YOU GONNA MAKE EVERYONE FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR AGE?
12.7
Same shot. The graffiti is now of Nazis and Swastikas.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: YOU GONNA LET ‘EM WIN THIS?
12.8
Same shot. The graffiti is unchanged, but the snow has stopped.
CAPTION: JUNIPER: OR ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES BACK IN PLACE?
12.9
Same shot. Fury opens his eye.
Page 13.
13.1
Uncle Sam looks down at Fury. A doorway like the one Eva walked through has appeared a few feet in front of him.
13.2
Fury limps up to the doorway, as one of Uncle Sam’s giant hands reaches down towards him.
FURY: -pant-pant-pant-
13.3
Uncle Sam’s thumb and index finger pinch Fury’s right arm, just as he starts to pass through the doorway.
FURY: GHN
13.4
Uncle Sam’s thumb and index finger are pulled into the doorway with Fury.
FURY: gnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
13.5
Fury’s silhouette walks across a psychedelic background, like the one Eva had. The giant thumb and index finger are distorted.
FURY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Page 14.
14.1
Fury exits the other side of the doorway, his right arm still inside it. He’s his young, two-eyed self again, in a WWII American base. Everything here is drawn in the Jack Kirby style.
FURY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
14.2
Fury pulls his right arm out of the doorway, flinging two lizard-men in Nazi uniforms (one short and fat, one tall and thin) several feet in front of him, into a group of american cadets.
SFX: CLUNK
FURY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD…
14.3
Fury kicks both of the Nazi Lizard-Men in the faces with one boot as they lie on the ground, next to each other.
FURY: …DAMN, I’M GOOD!
14.4
Juniper walks up to Fury, who’s smoking a cigar out of goddamn nowhere.
JUNIPER: SARGE!
JUNIPER: YOU ALRIGHT?
FURY: Did Tricky Dick owe me a six pack?
14.5
Juniper scratches his head, while some soldiers lug the unconscious Nazi Lizard-Men away in the background.
JUNIPER: I dunno… No one here’s met him.
CAPTION: HEAVEN.
Page 15.
15.1
Fury looks at Juniper.
FURY: Coulda told me you had an extraction set up.
JUNIPER: We didn’t.
JUNIPER: But, there were some unexpected setbacks, so we had some funds to spare.
15.2
Fury looks around the base.
JUNIPER: So, what’d you get on the enemy?
FURY: Ah, y’know. Today America, tomorrow the world, all that crap.
FURY: Said they got someone in DC set up for the line of succession.
15.3
Fury’s face.
FURY: Head a the operation is…
15.4
Flashback to Hitler groveling at the end of issue 3.
HITLER: This wasn’t my plan!
15.5
Flashback to Hitler catching Eva and Fury in bed in issue 2. This time at an angle so the nightstand with Fury’s gun is in the foreground, as Eva moves towards it.
HITLER: M-my dear, our forces are nearly--
15.6
Same as 15.3. A soldier is now saluting in the background.
SOLDIER: SIR!
Page 16.
16.1
Juniper turns to the soldier, while Fury continues staring into the distance.
JUNIPER: At ease.
SOLDIER: Sir, the assets are all wiped, and the doorway’s set to Earth. Mission’s a go on your command.
16.2
Juniper pats Fury on the shoulder.
JUNIPER: Sarge, what were you saying about the enemy?
FURY: …I’ll get back t’ ya.
16.3
Fury turns and runs at the doorway, throwing the cigar over his shoulder.
FURY: Gotta see a lady about a smoking gun.
JUNIPER: Wait, SARGE, WAIT!
16.4
Fury shoves aside a soldier standing between him and the doorway.
JUNIPER: STOP HIM!
16.5
Fury jumps into the doorway.
JUNIPER: HIS MIND WASN’T WI--
Page 17.
17.1
The helicarrier flying on a blue sky.
17.2
The deck of the helicarrier. (There’s no wind, because shut up.) There’s a huge funereal set up, with countless S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and superheroes standing in front of an expensive-looking wooden coffin. There’s a mural of Fury next to it, with a pair of American flags on gold poles to each side.
17.3
Captain America, Black Widow and Dum Dum Dugan stand together with their heads bowed in mourning.
17.4
Doctor Strange, Iron Fist and Luke Cage stand together. Danny is trying really hard to ignore Strange staring at him, while Luke is openly annoyed.
17.5
Coulson whispers in Maria Hill’s ear.
COULSON: Yeah, Fury’s not coming.
17.6
Close up on Fury’s coffin.
Page 18.
18.1
Same as 17.6, but Fury’s arm, in the classic S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform, punches out through the top of the coffin. There are several splinters jabbing into the sides of his arm.
SFX: CRAK
18.2
Fury stands in front of the open coffin, looking at the reader. He’s back to his classic middle age, with a bowie knife randomly clenched between his teeth.
FURY: GRRRRRRR
18.3
Cap, Widow and Dum Dum’s shocked reactions.
18.4
Iron Fist and Cage’s shocked reactions. Strange just looks mildly confused.
18.5
Hill and Coulson’s shocked reactions.
COULSON: …You put a knife in his coffin?
HILL: …It was in his will.
Page 19.
19.1
Hill runs up to Fury while he rips the sleeves off his shirt.
FURY (small text): Hn. New memories.
HILL: SIR!
HILL: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
19.2
Fury casually sheaths his knife, ignoring his bleeding arm.
FURY: Hm… Knew the gun I swiped from the kid was loaded with som’a those nanotech healing bullets.
FURY: My Infinity Formula withdrawal slowed the effects some, but they finally figured how to replicate the formula while fixing my head, an’ now I’m good as new.
19.3
Hill just stares blankly at him.
HILL: That…
HILL: …WHAT?
HILL: NONE OF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE!
19.4
Strange approaches Hill while Fury catches up with other attendees in the background.
STRANGE: Hello Mrs. Johnson.
HILL: Oh God.
STRANGE: If it makes you feel any better, he IS telling the truth.
HILL: BUT THAT’S. NOT. POSSIBLE.
STRANGE: Well, I didn’t say it was always the truth.
HILL: …WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?
19.5
Strange twirls his mustache.
STRANGE: Why, I was looking into all the commotion with those mystically altered terrorist. And it seems our Nicholas here is giving off a similar aura to them.
Page 20.
20.1
Strange walks toward Fury.
HILL: You’re saying he can’t be trusted?
STRANGE: You actually TRUSTED him?
STRANGE: No matter, my point is I want to see where he’s going with this.
20.2
Fury rips the American flag off of one of the nearby poles, while Strange approaches.
FURY: HEY COPPERFIELD!
FURY: HOW MANY FOLKS CAN YA TELEPORT, AN’ HOW FAR?
STRANGE: Why, in mere moments I could transport this entire procession to realms of glistening monoliths and unfathomable shadows, far removed from our reality since eras man can only dream of!
20.3
Fury uses his teeth to tie the american flag around his bloody arm as a tourniquet. All the other heroes and agents stand behind him.
FURY: Perfect.
FURY: We’re goin’ to DC.
NEXT TIME: THE THAWED WAR
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