Story of Neos part 3: Neos vs Thor

Since Susanoo is banned, I thought I continued with the series. He gave me the ok to write this and continue this. I do not claim ownership over any characters being used in here. I do not take any credits or hardwork. All rights belong to marvel characters. 
 
Hovering over the atmosphere, Neos silently awaited Thor's coming. He came. The god of thunder, the prince of Asgard, the odinson. Thor was the most powerful hero on earth. Fighting him would mean a danger to my life. The only answer is to take him out before he does any damage. Sweat fell from his brow as the tension arose, it's now or never. Neos achieved lightspeed flight within a nanosecond. Thor's mellenias of combat experience took over. Predicting such a straight foward attack, he held out his hammer. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! The both collided into each other with such force that the entire planet heard it was to be an extremely loud thunder. It was thunder oh right. It was the roar of the god of thunder. The planet knew what was about to come. As people gather around their T.Vs to see the destruction Neos caused and the lives he's taken, they stare up into the sky with reverence towards the thunderer. They all yell his name in reverence for him, to cheer him, and to give him hope. THOOOOOR!!! Their hope enveloped the thunderer. He has more determination now then ever. He is ready to take his enemy down for everyone. "Thee will never harm anyone again alien". said Thor.  
 
From Neos's thoughts: They disgust me. The humans. They are weak so they put false hope into a self proclaimed god to actually try to take me down? I will not stand idly as this arrogant, pompous bafoon puts faith into such a lowly race. After I'm done with goldilocks, I'm going to make sure they suffer for this. Destroying Stark tower will be first, then the Avengers Manor. Maybe the White House. Have to focus now. Can't let up on Thor. I throw my hardest punch. A punch strong enough to shatter an entire tectonic plate. He blocked it with that hammer... Mjolnir was it called? "Ugh"! Neos yelled out in pain from Thor's energy blast emitted through his hammer. "Thy villains have no knowledge of thy hammer nor the capabilities that it possesses. Mjolnir absorbed the kinetic energy from your fist and redirected it at 100x power back at thee"! Yelled Thor. Back again in Neos's thoughts: He absorbed the kinetic energy of my strike with his hammer and redirected back at me at 100x eh? Nothing my invulnerability and healing factor can't take care of. That hammer could mean alot of trouble for me. I have to get rid of it.  
 
My heat vision burns hotter than supernovas and hits with the force of a white drawf star. I unleashed all of this power to distract Thor. Being as large as en entire moon, I pray he would feel some of the damage. He didn't. Thor raised up his hammer to absorb the attack and redirect it back at me. "Predictable" said Neos as he dodges the attack. Fists enveloped with energy, he flies towards the vulnerable god. I strike at him with the force to shatter the Earth. He's dazed! Now's my chance to get rid of his hammer. Using my speed, I dragged him along with me, elbow against his neck and hand on his wrist, approaching the speed of hyperspace, I prepare for usage of one of my potent superpowers... travel through the time/space continuum.  
 
We entered into the time/space continuum. "What kind of sorcery is this"? Yelled the still groggy Avenger. " By travelling through said continuum, I can travel anywhere within the universe into any time era I want. It's best to keep him from knowing. Without knowledge, one is blind. I finally replied "We're at your grave Thor. This is the afterlife". I lied. Best to play mind games to aid me in combat. I cannot risk losing. It could cost me my life. We arrived at a dead planet a twice the size of Earth. I bullrushed him hard enough to destroy half of it. The impact knocked his hammer loose from his grasp. He's out of it from the impact. I'm also feeling the side effects of it. However, I ignore this pain and continue towards his hammer. I tried to lift it up. It won't budge! I tried with all my strength! It won't budge. "I don't understand"! I yelled out in fustration and confusion. "ARRRGHHHHHH"! I yelled in pain as lightning fell upon me. The hammer flew and hit me on my face while I was dazed. "Thou has awoken my fury and drowned my patience. I called upon the force of a thousand suns to end this madness"! Yelled Thor. I watched in terror as the thermoblast makes it's way towards me. I'm still dazed. My body can't respond to it's thoughts! I unleashed my heat vision to challenge his attack. But the might of a white dwarf star and the heat of a supernova fails in comparison to that of 1000 suns. I'm staring into the face of death. As a last desperate effort to live, I duplicated myself into 5 beings. They reacted instantly to the incoming attack and pulled me out of the attacks way. "Thoust have many powers to call upon don't thy Neos"? said by an irritated Thor. Ignoring his arrogant comment, I've sended 3 of my clones to attack him. He throws that dreadful hammer at them at speeds even I cannot react to! "Arrrghhhhhhhh"! I yelled. " I've thrown Mjolnir at speeds fast enough to circle a galaxy in 60 seconds alien... and wherever thee wishes Mjolnir to go, it shall"! yelled the arrogant, egotistical b@$t@rd. The cursed hammer struck me and my clones everywhere at speeds I can't keep up with... light fading, I collapsed onto the ground. He stops his assault. As his hammer is slowly returning back to him, I saw a chance... I took it! As a final desperate attack, Neos fired. Thor yelled out in pain as the blast made contact with his already weakened body. The attack sent Thor flying across the dead planet. The force of the unexpected attack left Thor unconscious. Neos however, is suffering a worse fate than the thunderer. As the light fled from his own eyes, he fell into darkness.  
 
A fire has lit within that darkness. However, it was not the fire of hope nor the flames of a pheonix getting ready to fly from it's ashes, it's fire of maleviolence, A fire of despair. Fully conscience and rid of pain, Neos stood around fire and brinstone, crawling with the denizens dwell within it, he knew this was the afterlife. "Welcome to my realm Neos". Said an unknown voice. "Who are you? And where am I"? asked Neos. "You are in my realm now neo spacian". Fear enveloped him quickly as he set his sight upon the one. "I'm Mephisto, lord of this realm. 

Pros: 
Good action imagery and the unique first person perspective brought ina middle suspense and added to the epicness. 
 
Cons: It ended too quickly, but considering this is longer than the ones Susanoo wrote i think this is a step up 
 
Overall: 4.5/5  
Good job!! 

Very nice, Punk! (<- Down side to having the word Punk in your name. :D) 
 
First, I would like to point out some grammar and spelling mistakes. Yes, I know, it might not be that important to some readers, but for me, grammar and spelling is also very important when it comes to writing. Some mistakes I've found has to do with your dialogs. You put the end punctuation marks after the quotations. You are suppose to put the end punctuation mark inside the quotations. For example, "Hello!". Noticed, it's not, "Hello"!  You also don't separate your paragraphs. Some paragraphs are longer than it needs to be. You also forgot that each dialog is literally a paragraph themselves. A simple, "Hello Neos," Thor said. is a paragraph.
 
There's also something else I noticed. You seem to switch points of views quite a bit. From first person, to third person. The thing with that is, it gets confusing. Plus, usually when writers want to switch from point of views, they switch when the chapter ends or they put a ----- separating the two point of views between characters. (---- only applies to fanfictions online, not actual books.)  There's also the fact switching point of views can disrupt the flow. Some readers may be fine with switching point of views, some prefer just to have one through out the whole story. I noticed you were going to write through Neo's point of view. However, you wrote, The attack sent Thor flying across the dead planet. The force of the unexpected attack left Thor unconscience. Neos however, is suffering a worse fate than the thunderer. As the light fled from his own 
eyes, he fell into darkness. That's third person point of view. Also, you misspelled 'unconscious'. (This is revenge for making Windy's list of misspelled words >_<) It's best not to switch point of views in the same paragraph. 
 
Another thing, description. Your story lacks description, you need to describe so much more. Describe the battlefield, describe the damage these two powerful beings has done. Describe their emotions and pain. Emotion is a big one. The readers must gasps what the character feel, they must see how irritated, how angry, how sad a character is. The part where you described Neo's feelings toward human beings is an example. The description was lacking there. It was obvious Neo feels disgusted strongly by humans. Give reasons why Neo feel so disgusted by humans! Make the readers feel disgusted by humans! When a character feels strongly about something, describe it. Make the readers feel it. 
 
There's also your flow. As I said about the point of the view thing, your flow, in my opinion, was greatly disrupted because of the constant switching. It didn't feel smooth when I read it. It felt ragged, it didn't feel right. The flow is very important, it keeps the reader reading. The lack of description also somewhat ruined the flow. There's something else that kind a ruined the flow for me. It was the dialogs. They seem somewhat, unrealistic. It doesn't seem like what a person would say in real life. Yes, I understand comic characters aren't exactly the best thing to mention along with real life. Perhaps the character do talk like that, it just seems off to me.
 
Oh my, I written an essay. I could write more, but I fear people reading my post might bang their heads against the walls if I do. Any who, Punk, good job on the story. You've improved quite a bit. :D I hope this review help you in the future.