Star Wars GOT: Juggernaut Vourrech the Honorable #9

Avatar image for spideyivydaredevilfan26
SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

7222

Forum Posts

150

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 41

Vourrech's Mantis landed in the Dromund Kaas shuttle, as Aola, Jancali and Vourrech prepared to meet Vourrech's master, Darth Sifertion. Adar stayed behind as the three companions entered the city. Vourrech turned back to face the old, Gray Jedi. "You've abandoned your allegiance to the Republic," Vourrech said. "I have no doubt that the Sith Empire would gladly welcome you among our ranks." The young Sith had grown somewhat fond of the Gray Jedi. He appreciated that he had met a force sensitive who denied the evils of the dark side, yet also denied the hypocrisy and self righteousness of the vile Galactic Republic. That being said, he would never renounce loyalty to the Sith Empire, and if he only wished that Adar could join him. He felt that the bald, dark skinned Gray Jedi had wisdom far surpassing that of the wicked Darth Sifertion.

Adar shook his head, a slight smile on his face. "I'm afraid I must refuse." he sighed. "The Galactic Republic may be imperfect...But the Sith Empire's crimes reek to the heavens, and I could never in good conscience serve as a tool for their destructive expansion. Is there nothing I could say to get you to abandon the Empire? Do you know how much they have taken, how much carnage they have reaped?"

Vourrech shook his head, he would never dream of renouncing the Sith. "No, there is nothing you could say. I live only to serve the Empire!" he insisted. A solemn look passed over Adar's face, Vourrech was deep in the thralls and manipulations of the Sith. He would have said he was brainwashed, but he seemed too wise and stubborn to fit that description. "Very well." Adar said. "If you won't abandon the Empire, promise me that you will continue to follow the path of the light side. Swear to me that you will continue to be the Paladin of Justice the Empire needs."

Vourrech nodded, his hand on my chest. "You have my word as a Sith." he said, with all the sincerity he could muster. Adar laughed, a rare smile on his face. "I've known too many Sith. There's a waterfall near the edge of the jungle, and a cave just underneath it. I've spent enough years in exile and solitude to know how to take care of myself alone. If you need my help or assistance, I'll be there."

With that, Adar walked away into the Jungle, the hood of his grey robe over his head. Agent Jancali shook her head, whistling. "I'm telling you." Jancali sighed. "That man's as mad as a box of frogdogs. Don't listen to that ol' snakehandler. All are better under the Empire's rule, don't let anyone tell you different."

Aola shrugged, "I like him. He reminds me a little of you, more of a role model than that psycho Sifertion will ever be." Vourrech took of his helmet before turning to Aola with a smile. "Maybe if the Sith Empire found him, he could have been my master instead" he sighed. Aola shook her head, a sad look in her eyes. She didn't exactly share Vourrech's enthusiastic love for the Sith Empire, but she kept quiet about her distaste, and her reasons for her distaste, if only so as not to provoke a long, unintentionally arrogant speech from Vourrech.

"I don't know...Maybe he would have been corrupted like so many others." she sighed. Vourrech turned to Aola with a frown, less angry than just...Sad. Aola immediately felt guilty for what she said. "Can...Can we talk about it after your meeting? With Darth Sifertion, I mean? I think there's a bar in the center of Dromund Kaas, and with all this action, we haven't had anytime to just relax. Feel like if we're gonna be master and apprentice we should get to know each other better."

Vourrech nodded, he certainly agreed that they needed some time to just relax and just talk like...Well...Friends. "Sure." he said. "I'd like that."

***

Vourrech entered the sanctum of the mysterious Sith, with Jancali by his side. Aola stayed outside, not wanting Sifertion to suspect anything. Darth Sifertion got up from his throne, clapping his hands, laughing beneath his respirator. "Well done, my apprentice. Very well done." he laughed. "Finding a traitor in our ranks, terminating a dangerous renegade Jedi, and retrieving a very valuable lost Imperial Agent."

Jancali's pale face began to grow red, and Vourrech could see goosebumps crawl up her skin. "All in the service of the Empire." Vourrech said, a touch of proud arrogance in his voice. "I am what the Sith require me to be."

"Indeed." Sifertion replied. "Kneel, Vourrech. You are about to receive a rare honor." Vourrech grudgingly bowed, if only because he knew that Sifertion would strike him down if he refused. Vourrech may have been powerful, but he could never survive the wrath of a Darth like Sifertion. For now, he would be as loyal to Sifertion as the Sith required him to be. Besides, if he was going to take Aola in as an apprentice, he needed to suck up to the Sith.

"In the name of the Sith Empire," Darth Sifertion declared. "For your heroism and actions against the Jedi, and traitors who would see the Empire in shambles, I hereby bestow upon you, the title of Sith Lord. Henceforth, you will be known as...Lord Vourrech."

Vourrech felt a wave of pride and happiness surround him, his career as a feared and respected Sith Lord had begun. He only hoped that he could find more like-minded, light side Sith on his conquest to bring the Sith Empire to unprecedented glory. He had already found seemingly trustworthy friends in Jacali, Aola and Adar. He really did feel like he could become a force for change in the Empire...A force for good.

"I will be announcing your induction as a Lord to the Sith Council tomorrow." Sifertion said proudly. "In the mean time, I suggest finding yourself a worthy apprentice to..."

"My Lord," Vourrech said. "I believe that I already found myself a...Worthy successor." He pulled out a holographic communicator, as Aola appeared in holographic form. "Aola, meet Darth Sifertion. Our new master."

Avatar image for spideyivydaredevilfan26
SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

7222

Forum Posts

150

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 41

BUMP

Avatar image for dngn4774
dngn4774

5622

Forum Posts

41

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 22

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: Good stuff. It was nice to hear Sifertion show some sense of appreciation for his apprentice's accomplishments but I think it could have easily been a few hundred words longer. I'd advise touching this up and expanding on the latter half of this chapter. Get in more details on Sifertion, his appearance, his attire, his motivations, the sound of his lifeless, recorded voice, his opinion on Vourrech, his distrust in Vourrech's crew; everything an anything you can add so we can know why Vourrech feels disease around his mentor and why he respects Darth Sifertion despite their clear philosophical differences.

Avatar image for dngn4774
dngn4774

5622

Forum Posts

41

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 22

Avatar image for whoisme
whoisme

1224

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

(Don't know if you remember me, but I'm going to assume this isn't awkward and go on from there). I liked this. It doesn't have that much action or movement, but you need parts like this to show the reader that the lives of your characters isn't just bouncing from battle to battle. However, I do have some critiques. The comparison with the cave and the waterfall was unclear, I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Also, I feel like you're telling us a lot instead of showing it. Let their actions and dialogue tell us their thoughts and feelings, you don't always have to explicitly state it.

My two cents.

Avatar image for dngn4774
dngn4774

5622

Forum Posts

41

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 22

#6  Edited By dngn4774

@whoisme said:

(Don't know if you remember me, but I'm going to assume this isn't awkward and go on from there). I liked this. It doesn't have that much action or movement, but you need parts like this to show the reader that the lives of your characters isn't just bouncing from battle to battle. However, I do have some critiques. The comparison with the cave and the waterfall was unclear, I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Also, I feel like you're telling us a lot instead of showing it. Let their actions and dialogue tell us their thoughts and feelings, you don't always have to explicitly state it.

My two cents.

Well said.

Avatar image for whoisme
whoisme

1224

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Avatar image for spideyivydaredevilfan26
SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

7222

Forum Posts

150

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 41

@whoisme said:

(Don't know if you remember me, but I'm going to assume this isn't awkward and go on from there). I liked this. It doesn't have that much action or movement, but you need parts like this to show the reader that the lives of your characters isn't just bouncing from battle to battle. However, I do have some critiques. The comparison with the cave and the waterfall was unclear, I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Also, I feel like you're telling us a lot instead of showing it. Let their actions and dialogue tell us their thoughts and feelings, you don't always have to explicitly state it.

My two cents.

Thanks, yeah I will make those edits as soon as I can, just been real busy. Thanks for the feedback. You do any chapters recently?

Avatar image for whoisme
whoisme

1224

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0