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#1 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

Nexus Parental Planning Office, Hawaii. 2014.

“So you want the deluxe?” said Dr Benjamin Schultz as he looked up from the computer. The middle aged Jewish doctor was better on the business end of a microscope than dealing with clients, but when Mandy, Leilani and Jacinta had called in sick he was on the desk.

“Is there better than deluxe?” The man was excited, almost methamphetamine excited. He had good reason to be, he was Thomas Orwell “The Luckiest Man Alive”. Thomas was a nobody until three years ago. He was just one of the vast numbers that make up a population, a face in the crowd, a background player. He bought a ticket in the Super Mega Jackpot and the Millionaire Ball lotteries. And he won both! The sole winner of $924,755,200.12 after taxes; an almost instant billionaire.

Thomas was hounded by the press, everyone wanted a piece of him. So he did what any sensible person would do; he ran. He moved to the Cook Islands because no one their cared who he was and they were a tax haven. He then put all his money stupidly into a little company called In-Gen which was on the cutting edge of genetic testing and after a $900,000,000 investment saw the company boom and Thomas made even more money. He sensibly pulled out and watched as In-Gen merged with Beyond Tomorrow and eventually became Nexus, the pharmaceutical company that could make designer babies.

“If you have the money you can have whatever you like” said Dr Schultz, totally oblivious to who his client was. Dr Schultz had chemical compounds on the brain.

“Okay I want them to be sporty like Federer…no Nadal…no Connors, Connors at his peak was good…maybe Sampras with seven Wimbledon’s but Federer did five in a row…hmmm? Can you do that?”

“I don’t know who you are talking about?” replied Dr Schultz, tapping his pen on the desk

“What can’t you do is probably a better question?”

“Mr Orwell…”

“Thomas. Or Tommy”

“Mr Orwell” continued the doctor looknig over the top of his glasses “The sky is the limit. If you have the money I can design whatever you like”

“Really?” Thomas had a big smile on his face

The Animal Farm, Avarua, capital of the Cook Islands 2028

Fourteen year old Blair Orwell stood on the surface of the swimming pool. She didn’t know what to do. She’d run after her younger brother Arthur and he’d dodged away and Blair ran out onto the water like it was solid. Arthur looked at her in shock, awe and amazement

“WOW!” exclaimed Arthur

“Go. Get. Dad” said Blair petrified at the fact she was doing the impossible

“Okay” said Arthur who ran off into the mansion “DAD!”

#2 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

Great start

#3 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

Good job, maybe your guy can lend my guy a few... millions?

#4 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Thank you

@AweSam: Thanks. Sure just give me your account details and he'll wire them over from his Nigerian bank :)

#5 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (836 posts) - - Show Bio

This is great! Is this a new world thing? Looking forwrd to more

#6 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

@tomdickharry1984: We started this the other day. Its brand new and the characters are all originals

#7 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@tomdickharry1984: New, original stuff like @joshmightbe: said

#8 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#9 Posted by Project_Worm (3376 posts) - - Show Bio

Really great job batkev!

#10 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@Project_Worm: Thanks!

#11 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice

#12 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@utotheg38: Thanks :)

#13 Posted by The Poet (8335 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: very cool

Moderator
#14 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet: And thank you, I am up to chapter 3 if you're keen or interested :)

#15 Posted by The Poet (8335 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: I'm catching myself up, so I will check it out soon...

Moderator
#16 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet: Sweet

Have a look at this

Cast an eye over this dude

#17 Posted by Joygirl (19277 posts) - - Show Bio

Where is chapter two? Eh, nevermind, I'll find it.

I liked this bit so far, though I'll withhold complete judgment until I finish the entire thing. It's a very fine start, and well-written. Engaging enough for me to get a great sense of activity despite being distracted by these bedamned interwebz.

#18 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@Joygirl: I'm up to chapter three :)

#19 Posted by csguterres (201 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Nice start, very good!

#20 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@csguterres: Thanks, I am up to 3 chapters of this so far if you're keen/interested

#21 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#22 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe said:

bump

Thanks! :)

#23 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1649 posts) - - Show Bio

A homage, tribute to George Orwell I take it? Quite a captivating start with especially the end with: "Fourteen year old Blair Orwell stood on the surface of the swimming pool. She didn’t know what to do. She’d run after her younger brother Arthur and he’d dodged away and Blair ran out onto the water like it was solid. Arthur looked at her in shock, awe and amazement. “WOW!” exclaimed Arthur. “Go. Get. Dad” said Blair petrified at the fact she was doing the impossible. “Okay” said Arthur who ran off into the mansion “DAD!” I may have to read more, I rate this a B- mainly due to it's over a tad too quickly (don't pay too much attention to my ranking system...I am simply some person and not an ACTUAL standard to be measured against)

#24 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#25 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

In-Gen has been mentioned. the dinosaurs are not far away. :)

#26 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas: That's the Jurassic Park people! I just wrote In-Gen because it sounded like what a gene splicing company should be called...and Michael Crichton beat me to it by 22 years!

#27 Edited by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@tmacximas: That's the Jurassic Park people! I just wrote In-Gen because it sounded like what a gene splicing company should be called...and Michael Crichton beat me to it by 22 years!

It's still cool.

#28 Posted by CapFanboy (4520 posts) - - Show Bio

*poke*

#29 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

*poke*

Only been poked on Facebook before, this is new strange and may just catch on. #thismaycatchon

#30 Posted by SyIar (405 posts) - - Show Bio

POKE!

Also. Great start!

#31 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@SyIar: Well I'm up to chapter 5 if you're keen, eager or interested

#32 Posted by SyIar (405 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@SyIar: Well I'm up to chapter 5 if you're keen, eager or interested

All three, thanks.

#33 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@SyIar: Sweet, hopefully chapter 6 today if my plans work out :)

#34 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#35 Posted by ReVamp (22865 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting read.

#36 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks

@ReVamp: Thanks :)

#37 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1649 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump

#38 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (836 posts) - - Show Bio

bumo

#39 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

And a casual bump, that's it :)

#40 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (836 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump'd

#41 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

And a final bump

#42 Posted by Joygirl (19277 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: COFFEE.

Psycho Eyes
#43 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

Sexy bump :)

#44 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#45 Edited by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#46 Posted by batkevin74 (10583 posts) - - Show Bio
#47 Posted by cbishop (7389 posts) - - Show Bio

The start seems a little jumbled, but the end makes me want to read the next chapter.

#48 Edited by lykopis (10753 posts) - - Show Bio

First off, talk about lucky! Secondly, are the Cook Islands really a tax haven? (I really don't know -- just curious) and thirdly, why haven't you added to this? Hmm? I am all curious and invested and you've left Blair standing there all this time!

#50 Posted by lykopis (10753 posts) - - Show Bio