Spirit-Man

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    cbishop

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    Edited By cbishop
    DateCB 1-ShotsViewRead the...
    11/27/15Spirit-Man(Blog) (Forum)Disclaimer
    RatingRating explanation
    TInterrogation violence; human death; mild cursing.

    "Please... may I get something to eat?" asked the man, wearily.

    "No!" shouted the commander. "Are you ready to tell us where you were going to meet the Christians at? Tell me that, and perhaps then you could have food."

    The man sighed. "Very well," he said, and he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the cinderblock wall.

    The commander waited for a second, expecting the man to reveal the location. Realizing he instead meant to not eat, the commander became outraged, and slapped the man with a savage backhand, his ring bringing up a nasty welt on the man's face. The man said nothing, which only further enraged the commander. He kicked the leg of the chair out, tipping the chair to one side, and throwing the bound man on his face. Almost as soon as he hit the floor, the commander had grabbed him up by the collar. The commander stood straddled over the man, bent down in his face, and spit flying with his rage, vehemently demanded, "Tell me where they are, damn you! I will have this information, or I will have your head on a pole outside this compound!"

    Badly bruised and swelling, the man's cheek began to look as if he had a wad of chewing tobacco the size of a tennis ball in his mouth, and it was forcing his left eye shut. Tilting his head to look at the commander with his right eye, the man answered, "Commander, unless my Father had willed it, you would not even have me, much less my head."

    The commander let out a scream of outrage, and slapped the man again, cutting the welt open with his ring. The man spit blood onto the floor just before the commander gripped his jaw, jerking his head. "Where is your 'Father' now, Christian?" he shouted. "Perhaps you will escape? Is that what you think? Who will rescue you? Or do you think you can walk through walls?"

    The man snickered through the commander's grip, the smallest spurt of blood escaping with his laugh. The commander looked at him in disbelief, his jaw tightening as his face turned red. The man looked at the commander from his right eye, and prayed, "Father, as the authority here has spoken it, so let it be." His wrists bound, the man swung upwards, breaking the commander's hold on his jaw. He then kicked the commander backwards, jumped to his feet, and bolted straight for the wall.

    The commander drew his gun, his other hand clutching his stomach where the prisoner had kicked him. Bringing his gun up to fire, he muttered, "Fool." He fired as the man leapt for the wall. To his surprise, the man passed through the wall as if it were an open window, and the bullet kicked grit from the cinderblock.

    The commander suddenly went weak in the knees, and stumbled backwards; not quite catching himself with his free hand, but scrambling backwards anyway. His gun remained pointed at the wall for another minute as he stared with a wild eyed look, his mouth moving as if it were trying to form words, but had forgotten how. He started shaking, and the sweat on his face suddenly seemed like too much for the cool cinderblock room. Slowly, he drew back his gun as if it were going to squirm away if he didn't hold on, until he was finally clutching it tightly to his chest. He continued to shake more and more violently, his mouth still trying to remember how to put words together, and his eyes fixed on the far wall. Suddenly, his whole body let out one terrible spasm, and his head kicked upwards as if he'd been punched. The commander reeled over backwards, and the gun clattered to the floor. The barrel was smoking, and the thunderous sound of the shot echoed off the walls.

    Two guards came rushing in from down the hall, and stared in disbelief at the commander lying dead on the floor. They looked for the prisoner who had been in here with him, but found no sign of him. Between them, they agreed to tell their superiors that the prisoner had shot the commander, and escaped while they were interrogating another prisoner. That would mean roughing up another prisoner, but that was no problem if the prisoner had no tongue.

    Please let me know what you think, and thanks! -cbOriginally written... 1994?

    Story and characters owned by Chris Bishop, copyright 1994?, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022.

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    cbishop

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    #1  Edited By cbishop
    OC Names:
    Characters:
    • unnamed commander
    • unnamed prisoner
    • unnamed guards (2)
    Locations:
    • unnamed compound
    .Fic-O-Pedia: cbishop. (My library of fics)Fic #115

    Thanks for stopping in! :^D

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    cbishop

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    #2  Edited By cbishop
    About this story

    Dec 6, 2021: I've discussed this story at length in the comments, and explained my thoughts behind it pretty thoroughly, but I'll try to shorthand it here.

    I need to write a blog I can just link to from now, but I have one rule above all others in my characters' universe: anything can happen, but God still has to be God, for reasons that I'll save for that blog. To that end, early on, I started trying to work out some Christian super-characters. This was one of those early attempts.

    Spirit-Man would have been the king of that mountain. Basically, my idea for him is that he's about as close to perfect faith as one can get, and this gives him powers we don't normally have. The vague bit of all of this is that those powers are supposed to be rooted in and powered by the Holy Spirit. I have a reason for that, but even today, I'm still not sure if I can make that even comic-plausible enough to make sense for a story.

    I guess what I'm saying is: I'm still working it out. lol

    That's all for now! Thanks for reading. :^D

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    Captain_Garrick

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    Well. I'm having mixed feelings about this one. On one side I've got the excitement of having christianity added and winning. On the other it's not done the way a saint would do it, not entirely anyway. I did like the part where he said "very well" meaning he wasn't going to tell.

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    cbishop

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    #4  Edited By cbishop

    @captain_garrick: "The way a saint would do it?" If you're referring to the character, I'm not sure what you mean. If you're referring to the curse word, we've had that discussion on another thread. I will add though: my characters encompass everything you would find in comics- good, evil, hero, villain, superpowers of all kinds, aliens, mythology, conspiracy theory, super science, ghosts, monsters, magic, and the addition of Christians and Christianity, because my number one character rule is that anything can happen, but God still has to be God. Now to make all of that work within that rule requires quite a bit of license, to be sure, but I try to make it as plausible as possible.

    However, I have to make the distinction that while I am a Christian who writes, I am not writing Christian fiction. I'm writing stories with Christian elements in it, because I don't see why I should have to exclude that. Making everything comics work within my rule about God is not so much meant to ram Christianity down people's throats, as it is a writing challenge for me. Can I write mythological characters and God still be God? Can I write ghosts? Aliens? Superpowers? Monsters? Magic? I have come to the conclusion that I can, and I think those stories can be entertaining.

    Not every story I write has a Christian theme or element prominent in the story, but my stories are always written with that rule in mind. Down the road, ideally speaking, further exploration of my universe of characters would show that. Christians won't always win, and they won't always be perfect, because we don't and we aren't, but God should always be God. Characters that curse happen. Violence happens- some of it horrific. Death happens- often suddenly. But God should always be God.

    Sometimes, in the CCC, I don't follow this rule, because it doesn't fit the challenge given, and/or I don't intend for the characters to reappear in continuity anywhere. Also, funny animals are excluded from this rule/challenge to myself. I don't try to explain everything with funny animals, and don't worry about how everything works there. Giant green amazonian alien rabbits that eat carnivorous carrots? Snakes with hypnotic eyes? An ibis version of Ibis the Invincible? Who cares how that works? It's funny. ;)

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    Captain_Garrick

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    @cbishop: No that's not what I meant. It seemed as though the person was going through the wall through something God did which would mean he was a saint, well by definition anyway. But that would mean there would have been no need for him to fight, which he did, and the commander wouldn't likely have shot himself. If I'm wrong and it's a power the person already possessed please correct me and none of what I just said matter much.

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    cbishop

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    @captain_garrick: Well, it's not like I've put perfect research into all things the Church and Christianity. I've reasoned out some ideas, and have used comic-plausible translations of certain scriptures to justify certain things in-story... that's where the license comes in. Part of "explaining" how certain things work is to make certain spiritual aspects into physical ones. I understand that's not the clearest explanation, but to say too much more would give away certain reveals to come in-story.

    The prisoner was exercising a power that came through understanding of his faith (and comic-plausible license), but he's not a saint. The fighting was in vein of "God helps those who help themselves." This particular character is about as close to "perfect faith" as any of my characters will get, but that's mixed with "superhero" too, so he's got to be a bit of a man-of-action as well. ;)

    Also, the commander didn't intentionally shoot himself. He was so scared by what he saw that he began shaking uncontrollably. The spasms of the shaking caused him to pull the trigger, which killed him.

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    ImpurestCheese

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    @cbishop: . The writing is good (no reason it wouldn't be) and the content is high quality as well. I'll take your word about the Christian stuff since I have no real knowledge on that being brought up agnostic and now being ecelectic wiccan

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    cbishop

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    @impurestcheese: <shrugs> Christian faith figures prominently with some of my characters, but it's not like I'm writing a Billy Graham Crusade or anything. It's not for the purpose of convincing or converting anyone- I just have an idea that I think will be cool. The same way that Greg Rucka thinks that a cop who is a practicing witch (Black Magic, from Image) will be cool- faith figures into it, but overall, it's about telling a good story. Hopefully, that's what others will think when it's done. ;)

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    #10  Edited By cbishop
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    Captain_Garrick

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    @cbishop: Well, I guess this is one of those times I'll just have to deal with people not being as restrictive as me. I always knew comics didn't do it right the manority of the time, and I assumed it would happen on books. That's probably why I always make powers natural or physically enhanced because by making it a gift from God the person was probably a saint, depends on the miracle, and then I'd have to write him as such which is difficult to accomplish over long term stories especially. I have nothing wrong with the fighting, it's just needed at certain times. Generally those times are not just before miracles to escape. Anyway, like normal It's not my choice. And I chose to read the story. So, happy writing...or posting writing.

    :)

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    cbishop

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    @captain_garrick: You're trying to impose a rule on something that is not bound by that rule- to make it work according to how you understand it. The thing that I'm trying to convey here is that I have changed the rules. Do mythological gods, monsters, superpowers, and magic exist in our world? No. Do ghosts? Debatable. Do aliens? More than likely. Does God? To my mind and according to my faith, absolutely.

    But for the purposes of my story universe, they're all absolutes. There is no question in my little fiction-verse that all of these things do exist. So to make fictional things exist as factual, I have to change the rules. I try to make them as plausible (or comic-plausible) as possible, but obviously, I'm contriving ways for it all to work.

    So the only way to enjoy it is to suspend your disbelief. Accept that it all exists in these stories, and you'll have an easier time with it.

    As for the minor language you will inevitably run into, I post a rating with explanation at the top of every fic (as the fan-fic rules say we are all supposed to do). If you see an explanation that indicates cursing or anything else that might offend you, feel free not to read. I won't be offended- that's what the rating and explanation are for.

    Thanks for the comments. They are appreciated.

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    Captain_Garrick

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    @cbishop: Well, I can still appreciate good writing. This is good writing. Glad I could help...if I did. And thanks!

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    stumpy49er

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    @cbishop: Not bad. A Christian super hero. Or not. He could be a religious super mutant who just thinks its God willing him to do what he does. Though from the comments I take it that it's the former.

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    @stumpy49er: Yeah, Christian superhero, although back when I was writing this story, I was still working out what that meant for my universe of characters. They've evolved quite a bit since then (oo, a Christian just mentioned evolution- don't tell anyone). Further appearances would probably be a little different from this one. :)

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