Spaceman: One small step for man, one giant leap for superheroes

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Decoy Elite

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#1  Edited By Decoy Elite

 

                “You see Henry, when you were in space you were bathed in cosmic rays and they well they……did nothing. You got a little sick, but that’s it.” The doctor explained. Henry Fields nodded as the doctor continued. “But you see the public doesn’t know that. The public won’t believe that.” Henry shook his blond head. “It doesn’t matter what they believe, I’ll just go home rest a bit, and it let it all die down” Henry was tall, muscular, and everything else you’d expect from an astronaut. He was an all American man; it was obvious to anyone who looked at him. The doctor sighed. “Well you see, some of the higher up members of the government thought that we could capitalize on this.” Henry gave the doctor a confused look. “What do you mean?” He asked. The doctor smiled. “Congratulations Henry Fields, you’re the first ever government sponsored hero.”

                “Spaceman.” General Hawkings said with a grin. “Get it? Because you went into” “Yes I get it.” Henry cut off the General’s explanation mid sentence. He was in full astronaut gear, or as it had been deemed, his costume. “This is ridiculous.” Spaceman complained. Hawkings gave Spaceman a confused look. “What’s ridiculous, you’re a super hero?” He asked. “I don’t have any powers!” Spaceman demanded. “There’s nothing super about me.” Hawking simply laughed. “You know that and I know that, but I don’t know that.” Before he could think of a retort, Spaceman was shoved onto the stage. Thanks to the bizarre turn of events of that day, Spaceman was forced to give a public speech, explaining how he was going to be a government sponsored hero. As with all government speeches, there was a teleprompter to guide Spaceman along. “Hello, I am Spaceman.” Cheers erupted from the crowd as Spaceman read off his first lines. “I am the first and only government sponsored hero.” More cheers, Spaceman felt like strangling a cat. “I am here to protect and serve you with my vast array of….” Spaceman paused and stared at the teleprompter. “You have got to be kidding me.” He mumbled. He sighed and continued on the microphone. “Super powers.” The crowd was going nuts, some people were jumping up and down, t-shirts were given out. The PR department was already going out for some celebratory hookers. Meanwhile Spaceman walked off stage, hate in eyes.

                All was silent as Martha Franklins was walking home. It was a cold dark night, the kind of night were random women get mugged on the street. Suddenly a mugger appeared from an alley, knocking Martha down. Martha quickly tried to kick the man in the groin, but he was wearing a cup due to his genre savvyness.  Martha screamed as the mugger tried to grab her purse. “STOP!” A voice yelled across the darkness. The mugger stared in horror as he spotted the source of the voice. “Please tell me you have some water.” Spaceman huffed. His suit was meant to be worn in space, not in some random city he was dropped off at. Spaceman was almost completely dehydrated. He’d tried to going to some locals stores to find some water, but no one served super powered freaks as they put it. Spaceman tried to explain that he worked for the government, but this usual led to large arguments about how tax dollars shouldn’t be spent on people getting super powers, which in turn led to an argument about the space program, and in the end Spaceman was kicked out and still left quite thirsty. Now Spaceman was barely awake and he was starting to hallucinate. He didn’t dare remove his helmet or else the bats would get him, of course there were no bats, but he was hallucinating so you can’t really blame him.  The mugger stood in silent horror as Spaceman approached. “Stop right there, I know what you are!” Spaceman yelled at the giant bat. The mugger tried to run away, but mugging does not take as much physical ability as you think. You know what does take some physical ability? Being an astronaut. Spaceman ran after the giant bat with surprising speed for a near dehydrated man in a space suit. “YOU’RE MINE BAT!” Spaceman yelled as he leapt onto the bat. “What are you talking about!?” The mugger yelled as he and Spaceman crashed into the ground. Spaceman smashed his fist into the bat’s face as it screamed. After a shot while of Spaceman beating the living crap out of the mugger, a black van arrived. Two government agents stepped out. Minutes later they were escorting a mumbling Spaceman away.

                Henry sighed as he stared at the newest headline. “Spaceman: One small step for man, one giant leap for super heroes.” The article detailed how a single superhero, Spaceman, faced off against ten muggers, all the while weakened by his one weakness, which of course was not disclosed.  Another competing paper had quite a different headline. “Spaceman: Ally or Alien?” The article in this paper detailed how Spaceman, the so called hero, had attacked several local stores in search of some strange alien power source. Henry sighed as he threw away both papers. He turned on his TV as he sat onto his couch. There was a huge debate going on most new channels about Spaceman working for the government and the implications of a government sponsored super hero. Henry sighed and turned off his TV. Suddenly he spotted something on his coffee table, an old worn out Superman comic. He smiled, as he picked it up and began to read. Oh how he wished he was Clark Kent.

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Nerx

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#2  Edited By Nerx
@Decoy Elite: I love this deconstruction of the classic radiation origin
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Decoy Elite

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#3  Edited By Decoy Elite
@Nerx: Thanks.
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Nerx

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#4  Edited By Nerx
@Decoy Elite: Are you planning on making another one
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Decoy Elite

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#5  Edited By Decoy Elite
@Nerx: Actually yes, it'll deal more with Spaceman's interactions with other superheroes.
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Nerx

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#6  Edited By Nerx
@Decoy Elite:Don't forget to add some casual with a teeny bit of awkward
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#7  Edited By cbishop

@decoy_elite: This is great.

Does anyone know if Decoy elite is still on CV?