RedHawk: Origins

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AdamDarwish

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#1  Edited By AdamDarwish

Once there was an ancient crystal buried in the great hawk pyramid.It was called the power crystal.One night a great evil emerged,so all the heroes that saved humanity used the crystal to make one more human with great speed,strength,agility,and smarts.That child was named Adam. As Adam grew he had been so popular in life.One day he saw his hero murdered and swore to fight crime. He used gadgets and combat to fight and named himself Nighthawk. But he grew up and stopped taking orders from darkfighter and became RedHawk! The question is,who is his hero?

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dngn4774

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#2  Edited By dngn4774

@adamdarwish: I don't know. First you would need to explain who Nighthawk or Darkfighter are. Start out by asking who each of your characters are like by asking them each a few questions:

  • What do they want?
  • What motivates them to pursue what they want?
  • What personality traits do they have?
  • What are their strengths?
  • More importantly, what are their weaknesses?
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batkevin74

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#3  Edited By batkevin74

@adamdarwish: You're brain is going faster than your fingers! It's a little jumbled as you're trying to get so much out

Once there was an ancient crystal buried in the great hawk pyramid.It was called the power crystal. Is this Egypt? Sumeria? Cambodia? Mexico? All these places had pyramids

One night a great evil emerged,so all the heroes that saved humanity used the crystal to make one more human with great speed,strength,agility,and smarts. Huh? So some heroes make a humans?

That child was named Adam. As Adam grew he had been so popular in life.? So he's a popular kid...okay. Is this modern, ancient, future times?

One day he saw his hero murdered and swore to fight crime. Who is this hero?

He used gadgets and combat to fight and named himself Nighthawk. Is this the kid or the hero? This and the above sentence could be worded better.

But he grew up and stopped taking orders from darkfighter and became RedHawk! Um you already said the hero was dead? So now I'm lost!

The idea is okay but at the moment your execution is poor.

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AdamDarwish

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#4  Edited By AdamDarwish
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batkevin74

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@adamdarwish: 9! Wow! Well done, you're going to be amazing in a few years

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AdamDarwish

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Dude lets make an off topic about the new dc universe