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#1 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

It was quiet in the honoured halls of the Noobwatch HQ. Portraits of past members hung in the hallowed halls.

The man walking down the hall had called them for all for a reason. They had an emergency. He broke through the double doors to find them there. Maxim, Eternal Chaos, and Last Arrow stood at the circular table in the middle of the room.

"Methos, why have you called us here?", Maxim demanded.

"You have all been called here for a special purpose.....few have stood in the hallowed halls of the Noobwatch HQ. You have all been invited to demonstrate your special abilities for this kind of job", Methos, the man who had called them said. Maxim looked slightly annoyed, but was silent.

"Come with me. We have an emergency", Methos beckoned them. He led them to outside of the HQ. Maxim nudged Eternal Chaos, "I bet we're gonna have to drive around in some crappy jeep", but then Methos showed them the massive eight-teen wheeler parked in their parking lot. It had automated machine cannons, missles launchers on the top, and a trailer that held a nuclear bomb in it. Painted on the side was a picture of a man shooting another one with the word bubble saying "Goku would own Galactus!". "Noobwatch, we are needed!", Methos said, and they all filed into the trailer of the eight-teen wheeler. Methos drove them to the scene of the crime.

ACT 2

Eventually, the Semi stopped. The door to the trailer opened, and they filed out. They were parked in a soccer field of a high school. Methos pointed to two teens arguing about something. "There is the situation. Follow my lead", he said. They all walked to the two. Eventually, the conversation could be heard. It was Sparda arguing with some kind of DBZ fanboy. "How can Goku hit something intangible? This is madness!", Sparda yelled at the fanboy. The fanboy replied "Goku will be faster than Silver Surfer can think, and will blow him out of existence!". Suddenly, there was a bang, and the fanboys head was off. Methos was holding a smoking pistol. "No prisoners are taken by the Noobwatch", he stated proudly. Sparda was grateful "Thank God you came here! I was telling him for two hours how Goku will lose, but he always said the same thing!". Methos shook his hand. "The Noobwatch will always be there-", but he was cut off from another gunblast. Maxim had shot another Noob. Suddenly, they were streaming from everywhere, over the school, from the ground, dropping from air. "IT'S AN AMBUSH!!!", Methos yelled as he shot another fanboy. One of them said to Arrow "Hulk will pwn Superman! He's got unlimit-", but he was cut off as Arrow shot him in the chest with a shotgun. "I've seen stupid Noobs, but you guys, you guys make the other stupid Noobs I've seen look smart. What is it, stupid Noob day?", he said to the fanboy as he kicked him. The group kept on shooting, and fanboy after fanboy fell. Maxim wondered to Methos "How come we have unlimited ammo?". To which Methos replied, "Because, the powers of intelligence and deductive reasoning power our weapons", he stated. Maxim nodded, realizing it all. One fanboy dropped in front of Eternal Chaos, and tried to hit him and say, "ONE thought from the GAMBIT, and PHOENIX di-", but he was shot a hundred times in the chest by Chaos, as he yelled "DIE, FANBOY, DIE!!!", spraying him with M16 fire. The fanboys and noobs's numbers were dwindling. One had a gun, and aimed it at Methos as he said, "Hulk will punch a dimensional vortex through Darkseid's head and-", but was cut off as Methos kicked him in the groin and shot him, saying "Darkseid's superior intellect, strength, powers, and speed will dismantle the Hulk before he knows what hit him, as he is erased from existence from a simple blast of the Omega Effect". Another came at the group, saying "My only weakness is arognite, you cannot hurt me!". True to his word, as the group tried to shoot him, he was unfazed. Then, Methos reached into his pocket, and threw some dirt at the Noob. He screamed and exploded before their eyes. They all looked at Methos. "Arognite=fish tank sand", he explained. "You carry fish tank sand with you?", Maxim asked, bewildered. "When you know what Noobs will do to make themselves look intelligent, you carry EVERYTHING", he reasoned. There was a yelling, and the group turned around. There was two of them arguing, and the group could hear about what. "No, DC sucks!", one said. The other replied back, "No, MARVEL sucks!". Methos turned to the group. "Don't worry, they'll take care of themselves", and suddenly there was an explosion, and the bodies of the two Noobs went flying overhead. "See?". The rest of the Noobs and fanboys broke rank, and retreated. One tripped. Sparda said to the Noobwatch, "Noobwatch, please kill this piece of filth for me". They all nodded, and Maxim reached forward and grabbed his head. "The DBZ Universe will annihilate the Marvel Universe! They have Goku!", the Noob said. "You Noobs sicken us. Dumb@$$", and then Maxim ripped his head off. The Noobwatch said together "FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!"

ACT 3

The Noobwatch were prepping to leave. There was blood everywhere, all over the school and body parts sprawled, but they didn't touch that. They made sure to clean up the Arognite that killed that one Noob, though. Sparda said when they were about to leave "But what if I need you again?". Then the group recited together, "Whenever a person ignores logic, we'll be there. Whenever someone is bashing another for common sense, we'll be there. Whenever a fanboy or Noob disrupts the common good, we'll be there. For we are..........

NOOBWATCH!!!"

I hope that was funnier than I thought it was. To Arrow and Chaos: If you did not like that and want yourselves removed from it, I will edit it right away. However, I think you'd enjoy killing Noobs, so I figured you deserved to be in it. Thanks to Methos for inspiring me to write this. And finally, thanks to all the Noobs and Fanboys out there. Without you, this story would not have been possible.

#2 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84514 posts) - - Show Bio

Act Four

Gambler walks up to Sparda, kicks him in the sack and says, "You'll always be a noob to me."

Then takes Sparda's mom, girlfriend, and sister off for a night on the town.

SPARDAWATCH
Post Edited:2007-08-17 21:58:55

Moderator
#3 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

That's cold man.

#4 Posted by Donnieman v5.1 (44323 posts) - - Show Bio

Gambler says:

"**Act Four**Gambler walks up to Sparda, kicks him in the sack and says, "You'll always be a noob to me."Then takes Sparda's mom, girlfriend, and sister off for a night on the town.**SPARDAWATCH**
Post Edited:2007-08-17 21:58:55"

LMAO pwned!

#5 Posted by Zaraki Ichigo (6476 posts) - - Show Bio

I just spit on my screen from laughing after Gambler put his touch to this page.

#6 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe Gambler should'a been in the story.....he'd kill Noobs pretty good.

#7 Posted by Zaraki Ichigo (6476 posts) - - Show Bio

Sparda says:

"Maybe Gambler should'a been in the story.....he'd kill Noobs pretty good."

He cusses a lot.

#8 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Zaraki Ichigo says:

"Sparda says:
"Maybe Gambler should'a been in the story.....he'd kill Noobs pretty good."

He cusses a lot."

So I've noticed.....he's like the Punisher of Noobs or something....

#9 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84514 posts) - - Show Bio

Zaraki Ichigo says:

"Sparda says:
"Maybe Gambler should'a been in the story.....he'd kill Noobs pretty good."

He cusses a lot."

Mother$#@!er I never cuss. Where the #@!$ do you get off saying some sh!t like that? I outta come over there and kick the living sh!t outta your !@#

Moderator
#10 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

I think theres a "NOOB" roaming the boards right now!

#11 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84514 posts) - - Show Bio

Post Deleted.

Moderator
#12 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Post Deleted.

#13 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

Post Deleted.

#14 Posted by Boken (7756 posts) - - Show Bio

hey why wasn't i incorperated in this. i am the self proclaimed worlds greatest noob hunter

#15 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

looks good to me man.

#16 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

SONIC!!!!! Where have you been, man?

#17 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

i've been roaming around the internet,but i've been in school doing work instead of being online.

#18 Posted by Cryo-Wolf (12662 posts) - - Show Bio

Boken says:

"hey why wasn't i incorperated in this. i am the self proclaimed worlds greatest noob hunter"

just because your self-proclaimed doesn't mean u r one. You suck at it anyways.

#19 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

School? My school doesn't start for three weeks. I've missed you man.

#20 Posted by Boken (7756 posts) - - Show Bio

sonicmora says:

"i've been roaming around the internet,but i've been in school doing work instead of being online."

school sucks, bu its better than workin i just had to do overtime.

#21 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

ditto.so ur not going to marvel boards anymore?

#22 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

Boken says:

"sonicmora says:
"i've been roaming around the internet,but i've been in school doing work instead of being online."
school sucks, bu its better than workin i just had to do overtime. "

i mite not think that now,but maybe later in like 2 or 3 years.

#23 Posted by Cryo-Wolf (12662 posts) - - Show Bio

Boken says:

"sonicmora says:
"i've been roaming around the internet,but i've been in school doing work instead of being online."
school sucks, bu its better than workin i just had to do overtime. "

lmao overtime doing what!?

#24 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

wildrider and sonicmora will always remember daywalker.

#25 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Nah, not really. Last thing I did was a Blade fan-fic. The world no longer knows TheDaywalker182.

#26 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

i had fun with battles with godzilla and transformers until dragyn wulf came up with his rules.

#27 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol, awesome. Not to mention Scrabblehulk. I owned him good, same with AmazingVenom

#28 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Dragynwulf.....whadda jack@$$. Oh well, we're in a better place now.

#29 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

i still go there to play rpgs with my friends.

#30 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

Sparda says:

"Dragynwulf.....whadda jack@$$. Oh well, we're in a better place now."

Ah why don't yah recruit more peole from there?! AmazingVenom, Venom13, ScrabbleHulk and the rest of them! Tell them about this place!

#31 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

it'll be cool bringing them cool.

#32 Posted by Octagon Freak (11158 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm totally reading this the next time I'm online. Too tired to now... Must sleep....

#33 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

Octagon Freak says:

"I'm totally reading this the next time I'm online. Too tired to now... Must sleep...."

Rest in Pieces!

#34 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

sonicmora says:

"it'll be cool bringing them cool."

Tahts what you guys should do! I would if I wasn't banned over some bullsh----!

#35 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

Octagon Freak says:

"I'm totally reading this the next time I'm online. Too tired to now... Must sleep...."

go to sleep man if ur tired.

#36 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

lol,man I thought u were banned for only a week like he said.

#37 Posted by Octagon Freak (11158 posts) - - Show Bio

sonicmora says:

"Octagon Freak says:
"I'm totally reading this the next time I'm online. Too tired to now... Must sleep...."

go to sleep man if ur tired."

Headed for bed right nows.... snooze

#38 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

sonicmora says:

"lol,man I thought u were banned for only a week like he said."

Well its still says "You have been banned, please talk to the adminestator" or something!

#39 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

Octagon Freak says:

"sonicmora says:
"Octagon Freak says:
"I'm totally reading this the next time I'm online. Too tired to now... Must sleep...."
go to sleep man if ur tired."
Headed for bed right nows.... *snooze*"

Walks down the street and gets run over.

#40 Posted by Lantern Prime (13044 posts) - - Show Bio

I'll be back in hour alright?

#41 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

do that then,or you won't come back.you have to sort out some things.

#42 Posted by Savage Dragon (65 posts) - - Show Bio

Whats a noob?

#43 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

SoundWave07 says:

"I'll be back in hour alright?"

ok.

#44 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

a person who is a beginner,but noob is worst then saying a beginner.it's an insult,and it's bad.

#45 Posted by Octagon Freak (11158 posts) - - Show Bio

Ok I just got done reading that, and I really enjoyed it. Very funny.

#46 Posted by Sparda (15795 posts) - - Show Bio

Glad someone liked it. I just wrote that to vent frustration, lol.

#47 Posted by Mantid (4418 posts) - - Show Bio

Sparda says:

"School? My school doesn't start for three weeks. I've missed you man."

School starts in two days for me... falls to the ground crying

#48 Posted by Boken (7756 posts) - - Show Bio

Savage Dragon says:

"Whats a noob?"

you

#49 Posted by Cosmic Sentinel (3749 posts) - - Show Bio

I just read it. That was awesome Sparda. I think I know why Gambler wasn't in the Noobwatch; even though noobs must be killed without remorse, there must be some limit to the brutality. I nearly wet myself when I read your forth act.

A noob isn't someone who is new. Everyone was once (even me and I'm old as $%£&). A noob is someone who refuses to learn and so is always acting like it's their first post. Even when half the forum has tried to correct them.

#50 Posted by sonicmora (2019 posts) - - Show Bio

Cosmic Sentinel says:

"I just read it. That was awesome Sparda. I think I know why Gambler wasn't in the Noobwatch; even though noobs must be killed without remorse, there must be *some* limit to the brutality. I nearly wet myself when I read your forth act. A noob isn't someone who is new. Everyone was once (even me and I'm old as $%£&). A noob is someone who refuses to learn and so is always acting like it's their first post. Even when half the forum has tried to correct them. "

yea,but sometimes like in an online game like world of warcraft call beginners noobs.