#1 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

Hey everyone this is a new fan-fiction that i call Niki. Now lets enter the world of Niki.

"Mom"

"Yes"

"Why do you.......why do you kill for living"

"Mike you know ...it's the only way for us to survive"

"Why cant you use your powers for good......you could protect the president or become a vigilante like Batman"

"Those are comic books, this is real life"

"There are still good people out there"

"Not in my world........"

They were waiting for there employer to arrive. They were in the cargo yard where they always met. Her employer was Micheal Star. Niki knew him as her brother. He took over there father's assassination business when he died. It was a birth right of Niki's to become a master assassin like her mother. The only thing that stood in her way was her brother who was jealous of her for developing abilities when he didn't. He said that if she wanted to work for the company she would have to sign a contract. It said that if she ever left before her contract was up or she betrays the company, she and Mike would be killed.

"Hello Niki, I have an assignment"

#2 Posted by TheWholeDamnShow (758 posts) - - Show Bio

Good job! I only wish it were longer.

#3 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheWholeDamnShow said:

Good job! I only wish it were longer.

This exactly

#4 Posted by Imagine_Man15 (1801 posts) - - Show Bio

Really cool

#5 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks more coming soon

#6 Posted by Project_Worm (3494 posts) - - Show Bio

Definitely going to keep an eye out for this.

#7 Posted by joshmightbe (25021 posts) - - Show Bio

good start

#8 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio
#9 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (837 posts) - - Show Bio

It's short...its good but is this supoposed to be like, not mike? "Mike you know ...it's the only way for us to survive" Coz oterwise, I dont know who mike is??? Good stuf

#10 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

@tomdickharry1984: He is her son

#11 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (837 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay...so Niki's mum is called Mike? All the bold writting and I dont know who is who

#12 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

Ok in the line you are referring to she says" Mike you know why" she was telling her son Mike tat he knows why

#13 Posted by batkevin74 (11144 posts) - - Show Bio

@menaceforever said:

Hey everyone this is a new fan-fiction that i call Niki. Now lets enter the world of Niki.

"Mom"

"Yes"

"Why do you.......why do you kill for living"

"Mike you know ...it's the only way for us to survive"

"Why cant you use your powers for good......you could protect the president or become a vigilante like Batman"

"Those are comic books, this is real life"

"There are still good people out there"

"Not in my world........"

They were waiting for there employer to arrive. They were in the cargo yard where they always met. Her employer was Micheal Star. Niki knew him as her brother. He took over there father's assassination business when he died. It was a birth right of Niki's to become a master assassin like her mother. The only thing that stood in her way was her brother who was jealous of her for developing abilities when he didn't. He said that if she wanted to work for the company she would have to sign a contract. It said that if she ever left before her contract was up or she betrays the company, she and Mike would be killed.

"Hello Niki, I have an assignment"

Interesting. Now at the moment I don't know who the people in bold are, I get that it is a conversation but there are no other details. There are a few minor grammatical errors, here it is with some punctuation:

@menaceforever said:

"Mom?"

"Yes"

"Why do you...why do you kill for living?"

"Mike...you know, it's the only way for us to survive"

"Why can't you use your powers for good. You could protect the president or become a vigilante like Batman!"

"Those are comic books, this is real life"

"...There are still good people out there"

"Not in my world!"

It's good just needs a tidy up. Good work though