#1 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

Ok this is the first time I do this, so I'm openminded for opinions/reviews, I know it is short but it's only the first part, I'll write the rest here if people think is good, if not well.

It all started in Mexico on the night of Halloween of 1991.

It was a cold and dark night, it was raining and both thunders and lightning were falling from the sky.

It was a night that no one would forget, that’s if there were survivors.

A small figure entered the building with just a small dagger in his hand.

He started walking on the hall, killing everyone in front of him; men, women, children and old people. It didn’t matter to him, because he was there for one reason and one reason only…..find an heir.

Hope I find here someone that is worthy of being my apprentice, and to keep my legacy to exterminate the heroes that plague this world

“No….no….this neither…..for god’s sake there must be someone here……I’m running out of time.”

Then a little boy that had just 3 hours from being born started crying.

“Shut up!!...I told you to shut up!!...silence you little scum....That’s it you’re dead.”

The old man grabbed his dagger and prepared himself to kill the little kid but just when he was going to do it. He stopped, he couldn’t continue.

“This boy...I can feel it....this is the one….This is the one I’ve been looking for!!”

okay thoughts/review/opinion/suggestions?

#2 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

ElusiveStorm says:

"whoa wait, purge the world of heroes? Wow thats tough!"

ok so good or bad?

#3 Posted by ElusiveStorm (2734 posts) - - Show Bio

whoa wait, purge the world of heroes? Wow thats tough!

#4 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

ElusiveStorm says:

"good, but why are you not bad? Dont become bad were buddies and your the leader of the outriders and we cant afford another bad person."

shh. I'm just a little baby there. I have time to grow up I know where this is going. Hope it turns as well as I want

#5 Posted by ElusiveStorm (2734 posts) - - Show Bio

good, but why are you not bad? Dont become bad were buddies and your the leader of the outriders and we cant afford another bad person.

#6 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

ElusiveStorm says:

"go on with the story then."

yeah but I'll do it tomorrow I'm going to bed in 5-10 minutes

#7 Posted by ElusiveStorm (2734 posts) - - Show Bio

go on with the story then.

#8 Posted by ElusiveStorm (2734 posts) - - Show Bio

ok ttyl bro

#9 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

so anyone else has any opinions?

#10 Posted by Nighthunter (28578 posts) - - Show Bio

Ok second part:

A teenager was doing his training, just like every day and every night since he could remember, however without his concern he was being watched by the ones who had been teaching him since he was a little boy.

-“The boy is good, really good. There’s no doubt why he was chosen by the master before he died.”

-“Yes, indeed. The boy is good…maybe too good”

-“What’s that supposed to mean?”

-“That if we aren’t careful, he may one day become a menace to us”

-“Your warning are meaningless, we trained Sebastian since he was a little boy, he doesn’t know that his parents may be alive.”

-“The kid is a natural athlete, he has a very high IQ, but we can’t teach him to be evil.”

-“What is that supposed to mean?”

-“That you’re born evil or you’re not. And we both know he doesn’t have darkness in his heart.”

-“He’ll learn to be evil. And if he doesn’t, we’ll teach him the hard way.”

After this the old man left the room and went to see Sebastian.

-“That’s enough for today Sebastian. Now go to do your assignments.”

-“Master, may I ask you something?”

-“Of course young man, what’s your question?”

-“Every day since I can remember. I’ve been training myself both physically and mentally.”

-“Yes that’s correct young man”

-“But…for what...why are you training me so much...what’s the thing I’m supposed to do?.”

-“You’ll find soon Sebastian, I promise.”

After saying this the old man left the room. The other oldman was still watching tough.

“Old fool, he lets that his feelings for the kid blinds his judgment. That kid may become our doom if we aren’t careful.”

Ok again, thoughts/review/opinion/suggestions?