#1 Edited by gumflabica (2159 posts) - - Show Bio

"Test subject 96 is ready for testing." a scientist says, looking away from his computer.

"Good. Start the test. If this goes as planned, we will have the formula for super soldiers, that will be giving us the advantage in the upcoming war." another scientist says, looking off reflectively as if envisioning something.

"Yes, I know. This is subject 96, we've been over it 96 times. We just have to hope it works this time." The scientist says pressing buttons, face illuminated by the green glow of the screen.

"Injecting formula into test subje- wait a second..." The scientist says, backing away from his computer. "What is it? Let me see." The other scientist says, rushing to the computer.

"I've found something else in his bloodstream. But we couldn't have looked anything over. It's just not possible." They looked at the test subject, and saw that he was actually conscious in his chamber, and spit something into the water around him.

"What is it!?" one scientist screamed. "It looks like... an empty poison capsule and some blood. Some kind of... viper venom. He compromised the experiment. This test has been inconclusive. Crack open the chamber and dispose of 96. I'll get another prisoner escorted to the lab.

As the scientist went to drain the water from the chamber, he saw subject 96's bloodshot eyes open. As his veins bulged and pulsed increasingly quick, he began to punch the glass, moving at impressive speed. After moments, 96 was moving faster in the water than the adrenaline pumped soldiers on the battlefield.

The glass broke, and the scientist saw nothing but a blur, and the blood spurting from his neck before falling to the floor. The other scientist tried to run, to hide behind the two soldiers escorting subject 97 to the lab, but failed. Before the scientist had taken a step, he had a hypodermic needle in his brain stem. The guards saw the blur and the blood, and fired towards the place he had been in what felt like at least two minutes, but was in reality only two seconds.

96 saw the bullets fly past him, going about as as fast as a thrown rock. He looked around, and gave his mind some time to realize what was happening, and everything moved normally again. He took two bullets in the chest, and adrenaline kicked in, causing his speed to increase again.As his speed increased, so did his metabolism and blood spurted from his wounds at such great velocity that it cut a guard in half, and 96's wounds healed almost instantly. He manipulated his heartbeat, making it go faster, and by further increasing his metabolism, he increased his speed. Bullets were now traveling slow, as if they were just weightless objects, being pushed gently through the air. They felt like that too. He waved his hand in front of it, and it gently bounced off, crumpling and falling to the floor. The bullets were all around him, flying from the flickering fire that is the barrel of the gun. He simply grabbed one out of the air, and threw it, and the bullet went clean through the guard's skull.

He noticed subject 97 was lying on the floor, but he had not hurt him. He noticed the scientist's hypodermic needle in the test subject's leg. Strange. That's not where he had left it. He lifted 97's head, and, to 96's surprise, had blood spat in his face. The subject got up, and showed 96 his own poison capsule, which had a little juice left in it.

97 punched the wall and grabbed a large shard of metal, he slashed it, and severed 96's arm, but in turn had his own head blasted off by the resulting high-pressure blood spurt. Unable to regenerate his arm, 96 felt himself getting slower. He charged into walls, knocking them down with his force, until he was outside of the facility and on a dusty pavement road int he middle of a desert. He couldn't see the facility, or anything else except for a military jeep approaching. He dived out of the way, having lost his speed. He fell on a small cactus, and watched himself bleed in blurry double vision, and fell unconcious, on the hot sand.

so what did you think? @tommythehitman @yourneighborhoodcomicgeek @batkevin74 @wildvine

#2 Posted by gumflabica (2159 posts) - - Show Bio
#3 Posted by batkevin74 (9758 posts) - - Show Bio

@gumflabica: Sorry man, busy and forgetful

("Test subject 96 is ready for testing." a scientist says, looking away from his computer.

"Good. Start the test. If this goes as planned, we will have the formula for super soldiers that will be giving us the advantage in the upcoming war." another scientist says, looking off reflectively as if envisioning something.

"Yes, I know. This is subject 96, we've been over it 96 times. We just have to hope it works this time." The scientist says pressing buttons, face illuminated by the green glow of the screen.)

You kinda need some spacing dude. You've got like 5 blocks of text. Asides from that, interesting power set your guy has. blood-kinesis (I just made that up)

#4 Posted by gumflabica (2159 posts) - - Show Bio
#5 Posted by gumflabica (2159 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: hmm. feels much more natural writing my story, and then spacing where needed. next time, before it is posted.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (9758 posts) - - Show Bio

@gumflabica: Sure! That's why they provide an edit button. Presentation can really effect/affect...which way should I spell it...actually that doesn't matter!

People here on CV are fickle like cats! If it's just big slabs of writing people may start to read and then go elsewhere, which is why you'll get 25 views and no comments because 1) it looks like $h!+ 2) if it looks $h!+ then they presume it is $h!+ 3) A bit of effort on YOUR part can get people to read and consistently read your stuff.

Hey @pyrogram and @joshmightbe could you have a read of this (when you get a chance) and tell gumflabica what you thought of it, thanks

#7 Posted by joshmightbe (24101 posts) - - Show Bio

Cool

#9 Edited by TommytheHitman (2464 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty awesome. Like Slender Man vs Jason this deserves more views.

#10 Posted by gumflabica (2159 posts) - - Show Bio

@tommythehitman: im hoping to make more. a second one comes out today, so keep your eyes open. or ill just @you in the OP.

#11 Posted by cbishop (6315 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting start. Read this first, because it only had one part. ;)