#1 Edited by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

Welcome to my Mashed Up Origins! This is an experiment of mine that I was going to make into a group, but with the chaos that a group can bring I decided to go it alone. Feel free to do your own. It’s short, sweet and basically a quick origin, possibly an ongoing, but mainly just something to make you go (hopefully) “I’d like to see more of that!” So far I've done Ms Marvel, Juggernaut, Fantastic Four, Thor and the Winter Soldier. Have a read. Rated MA

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/mashed-up-origin-fantastic-four/669169/#23

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/mashed-up-origin-juggernaut/673025/#11

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/mashed-up-origin-winter-soldier/668997/#23

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/mashed-up-origin-thor/669004/#18

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/mashed-up-origin-ms-marvel/674174/#9

Vladivostok, Trans-Siberian Railway, 1983

“How did you get on board my train?” growled Romulus, his claws unsheathed, muscles tensed for action at the lithe red faced man in an auburn fur coat, who stood casually in the train carriage admiring the decor.

“Magic” was the reply.

Romulus sniffed the air; the acrid smell of sulphur filled his nostrils “You’re not human”

“Neither are you” the man clicked his fingers and a chair slid behind him and he sat “But that’s not why am here. You have a recurring problem”

Romulus glared at him and slowly retracted his claws, sitting opposite cautiously “Logan”

“Yes” the man licked his lips “Painful creature. It seems you waste so much time on him every few years with these elaborate traps, plans and stratagems…”

“I am trying to make the perfect predator!” Romulus slammed his fists into the desk, rising to full height.

The man picked dirt from under his nails and looked at the growling beast of a man “Finished? As I was saying before you let your primal nature get the best of you, I myself have some problems. What I was suggesting is that I scratch your back and you scratch mine?”

“Sounds like a deal with the devil”

“Very perceptive” laughed the man

***

Cypress Hills Cemetery, Brooklyn 1983

“You’re going to die!” screamed Reaper, swinging his scythe at Wolverine, who easily ducked the blow.

“Dream on bub!” Wolverine lashed out with his claws and severed Reaper’s left leg off.

“Nice one runt!” snarled Sabretooth who crash tackled him into a headstone and began ripping up his chest “But pasty face is right”

“Get offa me!” Wolverine kicked him off “I’m going to cut your head off!”

“Don’t you; forget about me!” Deadpool sang pumping a volley of bullets into Wolverine “Don’t, don’t, don’t! Does that sting? Pure carbonara”

Wolverine felt the bullet wounds burning. He snarled and leapt at the gibbering assassin when again Sabretooth hit him from the side. The two began tearing strips off each other.

“Oooo that’s going to sting!” Deadpool sat down and started commentating into the barrel of his gun “Seems the Canadian is cheating with them big metal prongs but the giant blonde freak IS biting him on the face! All is fair in love and murder. Look at the blood folks! Let’s see if I can hit him with another carbonara bullet”

Deadpool took aim at the twirling, savage claw-nado where bits of flesh, blood and snarling smashed across the cemetery. BLAM! Sabretooth collapsed in a heap. Wolverine drove both sets of claws through his opponents chest, out his back and then ripped him open like an overripe fruit.

“WADE!”

‘Oh my stars and garters!” Deadpool dropped his gun, turned tail and fled. Wolverine let his berserker frenzy take hold, his vision went red and he charged after him. Deadpool vaulted over a grave and jumped on a motorcycle and roared off into the night. Wolverine leapt and landed on another unique motorcycle. The bike, Wolverine and part of the cemetery exploded in hellfire!

Romulus stood hidden in a grove of trees watching the scene “I believe I owe you an apology…what should I call you?”

“Mephisto will suffice”

#2 Posted by TheCannon (17839 posts) - - Show Bio

Love it.

#3 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon: Why thank you!

Any thoughts?

#4 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Prime like....

#5 Posted by AweSam (7360 posts) - - Show Bio

It's great, but you put too many descriptions and details.

Ex. "I would like to purchase this water." Sam said, holding the cold bottle.

"That'll be two dollars." The cashier requested, punching buttons into his cash register.

"Okay." Sam said, handing the money.

It's not bad, you're just giving too many details and it's always right after they talk. In fact, the details are alright, just not always right next to the dialogue. Still good though.

#6 Posted by BlackArmor (6134 posts) - - Show Bio

"I'd like to see more of that!!!!"

#7 Posted by Time_Phantom (522 posts) - - Show Bio

Haha great read! I always liked Romulus... until they went and ruined a cool idea and made him a wanna be Wolverine. (in my opinion)

#8 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@primepower53: Thanks

@BlackArmor: Woo hoo! Well I aim to please

@AweSam said:

It's great, but you put too many descriptions and details.

Ex. "I would like to purchase this water." Sam said, holding the cold bottle.

"That'll be two dollars." The cashier requested, punching buttons into his cash register.

"Okay." Sam said, handing the money.

It's not bad, you're just giving too many details and it's always right after they talk. In fact, the details are alright, just not always right next to the dialogue. Still good though.

Too many details? Hmmmmm okay. I see your point in your example. So you'd like to see, say this:

The Reaper screamed, swinging his scythe at Wolverine, “You’re going to die!”

Wolverine easily ducked the blow and lashed out with his claws and severed Reaper’s left leg off "Dream on bub!"

That kind of thing?

#9 Posted by AweSam (7360 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: That does look better. Don't forget to separate most of the details from the dialogue though.

(Description)(Dialogue)(Description)

(Separated description)

All of those are places you can put descriptions, but it's most common to separate it.

#10 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@Time_Phantom: He became Old Man Logan which wasted a really good character, I especially loved his train obssession

#11 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1610 posts) - - Show Bio

Very nice, very scary idea making an adamantium laced mutant become the Spirit of Vengeance. I picked it was Mephisto way before the end, but nice work trying to keep him a mystery

#12 Posted by Veitha (2739 posts) - - Show Bio

The story is really intriguing, really nice idea to give Logan the powers of hell, a bit 'as Hellverine :) waiting for next story ;)

#13 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: I try :P

@Veitha: Mephisto & Romulus teaming up to keep Logan even further in the dark about his origins by adding a demon to his already tortured soul

#14 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

Wolverine, the Ghost Rider....

#15 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout: Or Logan the Spirit of Vengeance! Either way, he's better/worse than he is

#16 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout: @Veitha: @Veitha: @AweSam: @Time_Phantom: @BlackArmor: @primepower53: @TheCannon: Take a look at this pic done for me by

#17 Posted by BlackArmor (6134 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: That's completely awesome, I guess it speaks well for payno's work that I instantly recognized his style

#18 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@BlackArmor: It's wicked! has done an awesome job. It's a neat, recognizable style that just works

#19 Edited by BlackArmor (6134 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: definitely agreed.

#20 Posted by joshmightbe (24463 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@GR2Blackout: @Veitha: @Veitha: @AweSam: @Time_Phantom: @BlackArmor: @primepower53: @TheCannon: Take a look at this pic done for me by

As a child of the 90s 13 year old me would like to say sweet 31 year old me thinks its awesome as well

#21 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

Sweet!

#22 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout:

#23 Posted by TheCannon (17839 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

I love it.

#24 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

It's a very 90's mash up! :)

@TheCannon: Sweet

#25 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump

#26 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1610 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#27 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1610 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#28 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks for the bump :)

#29 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

And a bump

#30 Posted by cbishop (6948 posts) - - Show Bio
#31 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio
#32 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4552 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Grim Reaper? Deadpool? Romulus? Sabretooth? But which one is the Ghost Rider?

#33 Posted by batkevin74 (10363 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: "Deadpool vaulted over a grave and jumped on a motorcycle and roared off into the night. Wolverine leapt and landed on another unique motorcycle. The bike, Wolverine and part of the cemetery exploded in hellfire!" Actually you're right it is ambiguous enough that either could be, but like the picture by @payno awesomely drew, it'll be Wolverider or Ghostrine :)

#34 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4552 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Ah so it's Wolverine. Thanks for the info