#1 Posted by DickGrayson (330 posts) - - Show Bio

New York City Subways, 3:25pm

Three bodies slammed onto the ground in the subway, with two others running. Their hockey masks prevented from pointing out facial Features. YellowJacket stood before three of the thugs, Cowering back in fear.

"Go get those guys! Man! Leave us alone! They have the money!" One of the thugs spoke, staring up at Hank.

"Trust Me. I'll get them..." Hank slammed the heel of his foot onto the thug's nose knocking him unconscious. The other began to make a run for it, Yellowjacket quickly removed a yellow colored weapon, and pulled the trigger without hesitation.

***

The other side of the subway was quiet, no train, not yet. No People, just perfect, they thought. They could escape, and nobody would catch 'em. "We showed that Punk." One of the thugs said to the other. "Yeah!". The train was heard coming, and the two criminals grinned.

A yellow light, which seemed to be in the form of a figure appeared, growing behind them. The color faded revealing the Yellowjacket. "What was that?"

"Ah, hell man..." Hank shoved on in the tracks just as the train passed by, crushing the body entirely, then gripping the other's throat.

"Let me guess... One of those punks who robs banks for Drugs, or one of those punks who's followin' orders." Hank spoke with a dark look on his face, hand squeezing the man's neck.

"Go to hel-" Nothing was heard but the snap of the thug's neck, and the police racing over.

****

KNOCK KNOCK

Hank's eyes flashed open from sleep on his desk.

"Coming!" He exclaimed throwing the Yellowjacket suit in a box quickly. Hank answered the door, just to meet eyes with the beautiful Janet Van Dyne, he had planned on proposing to her, but figured why not wait until dinner. But then he remembered, Dinner was Thirty Minutes ago.

" Do you even Care?..."

"I'm sorry, I-i-" Hank Replied.

"Don't care?" Jan spoke with a frustrated look on her face.

"Let me Explain!" Hank exclaimed, right as the door slammed in his face. He sighed, then rubbed his neck.

" I guess that's the downside of being a masked Vigilante... Always lose track of time." He said to himself, dropping back down onto his chair by his desk, staring at the ceiling.

To Be Continued....

#2 Posted by TheCannon (19409 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice. Good way to start the series.

#3 Posted by darth_brendroid (1692 posts) - - Show Bio

I get a very street-level vibe from this. Are you planning on keeping it like that or will it depend on what kind of villain Hank's dealing with? Also, ouch at the end.

#4 Posted by DickGrayson (330 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon: Thanks, I want to basically have flash backs of his origin, so he has been Yellowjacket for awhile now, so I could introduce some guys. @darth_brendroid: I know, That's the downside of things, and I plan on keeping it like this, Ya' know since I'm re imagining him.

#5 Posted by darth_brendroid (1692 posts) - - Show Bio

That's fair enough, I was just curious. Interesting approach.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (11209 posts) - - Show Bio

@DickGrayson: Hank Pym the Punisher? Interesting

#7 Posted by TheCannon (19409 posts) - - Show Bio

Since these good stories are getting buried by these bad interviews, I'm bumping this.

#8 Posted by CapFanboy (5366 posts) - - Show Bio

@DickGrayson: Haha, this is great. I'm sorry for the "bad" interviews and crappy sign-up threads are pushing your story down. Second sentence was part sarcastic. The thing about the crappy sign-up threads were true. Also, your story really is good!

#9 Posted by DickGrayson (330 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy: Thanks? I'm having trouble understanding what your trying to tell me?

#10 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

You have some wayward capitalisation going on throughout your story. But on the whole I like your idea. Question: Is Yellowjacket killing people?

#11 Posted by csguterres (206 posts) - - Show Bio

Very nice story! Hank Pym is one of my favorite characters, and I love the way you're writing him: a little crazy but in a good way! And you are showing everybody (if only Marvel writers read this) that it's very possible to explore problems in Hank's relationship with Janet without making him a wife-beater. If you keep it up, I will keep reading!

#12 Posted by TheCannon (19409 posts) - - Show Bio

This is even better reading it the second time.

#13 Posted by TheCannon (19409 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

This is even better reading it the second time.

And even better the third time.

#14 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

Awesome agreed.

#15 Posted by TheCannon (19409 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump.

#16 Posted by DickGrayson (330 posts) - - Show Bio

@csguterres: Thanks, I'm working on some dramatic changes for Hank during this series. @4donkeyjohnson: Yes, and I know, It's a bad habit I have of capitalizing random words. @TheCannon: Thanks, I know.

#17 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump