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#1 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

The Incredible Spider-Man #1

Peter Parker was a young boy in his 16 years old,he studied in New York Elementary school,he was just a bully that made fun of a genious boy called Flash Thompson because he liked to study bugs and creepy animals Peter named Flash as insect-man .One day a science fair was announced,Thompson could barely believe this,it was a chance to show he was worth.Parker came closer and said:

"Finally a chance for you to make something useful,right,insect-boy"

Everyone laughed but Flash,"I am going to get my revenge when I get older",he thought.

Back home,Peter asked his mom:"Mom,I have a science fair to go Saturday,those idiots really thinks science explain everything,magic is the real stuff.Anyway,it's in Octavious Industries and I'm bringing Mary Jane,could you let us there?"

"Sure swettie"-she answered.

Parker was a lucky boy,he lived with his mother,Sara Parker and had the love of his life,MJ,as he called her,the only problem with his life was the lost of his dad,when he was only one year old,his father fought in the Second World War,missing in battle after confronting Cap.Nazi and his squad,he like to think his dad died as a hero not as a coward.

Octavious Industries,7 p.m.

Otto Octavious was a science reserved man,his life was almost perfect,he do what he love,science,he is married with another scientist that also helps his researches and is the owner of one of the biggest companies in the world,the astonishing Octavius Industry,his later product was something related to his researches,The Tentacle,a machine with four super strong and resistant metal tentacles.In order to show kids the world of science and have some new workers,he organized an inter-school science fair.Altough,as said before,his life was almost perfect,the only thing missing was a good health,from years he was sick by messing with radioactivity and was searching for a cure,his best men were trying to help him but it was almost impossible,but not that day,after years of studying and researches he finally got the final element for his formule,vibranium.

"Eureka" -he screamed.His problems were solved or were just beggining.

What do you think?Sorry for the bad english,I'm brazilian.

#2 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good. Love the reference to Captain Nazi.

#3 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

Very good. Love the reference to Captain Nazi.

Well,thanks.

I'm doing the second one today,I guess.

Do I need to create a new post or I put it here?

#4 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

Do I need to create a new post or I put it here?

Since you didn't label it #1 or Chapter 1 or whatever, you could post it here. I usually make a second thread, simply because I think it's better than people not knowing it's posted here and wondering where it is. However, making several of them could flood the boards (depending on how fast you make them), and we don't need that. So, it really doesn't matter. Just let me know so I know how to put it in the library.

#5 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

Do I need to create a new post or I put it here?

Since you didn't label it #1 or Chapter 1 or whatever, you could post it here. I usually make a second thread, simply because I think it's better than people not knowing it's posted here and wondering where it is. However, making several of them could flood the boards (depending on how fast you make them), and we don't need that. So, it really doesn't matter. Just let me know so I know how to put it in the library.

Ok,I will be uploading this post with more stories so.

Did you really liked it,it looks kind of idiot to me,not my best.

#6 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

Ok,I will be uploading this post with more stories so.

Did you really liked it,it looks kind of idiot to me,not my best.

Okay.

And yes. I really liked it.

#7 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

Ok,I will be uploading this post with more stories so.

Did you really liked it,it looks kind of idiot to me,not my best.

Okay.

And yes. I really liked it.

Well thanks,it's important to me that people appreciate so I can do the right stuff.

#8 Posted by majestic99 (8637 posts) - - Show Bio

Awesome.

#9 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@majestic99 said:

Awesome.

Thanks

#10 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

The Incredible Spider-Man #2

Parker's house,1 p.m.

It was Saturday,Parker was in his mom's car waiting for her,she entered the car and asked:

"We're going to pick up Mary,right?"

He shook his head affirmatively.He was thinking about what would he do to cause rage in Thompson,"I could steal his project" he tought,he was so far in his thinking that he didn't realised they were already in MJ's house,she went to the car's and entered,Peter broke away from his thinking and kissed her.

"Thanks for coming,MJ"-he said

"You are welcome,sweet heart"-she answered-"Hi,Mrs.Parker"

"Hi,Mary"-Peter's mom replied

In their way to the fair,they talked about how great would be seeing the inovations,but Peter was quiet,lost in his mind as he thought that maybe what he did to Thompson was idiotic,he was in constant conflict with his "dark" side.Arriving in Octavius Industry there he was,Flash Thompson,the boy was happy,debating about how good the projects where and why he should win with a "nerdy" girl,Peter's friends were there too,they ran to Peter and MJ,one of them said:

"Hey,Pete!Zup?Don't you think we should show Thompson's new friend who is the boss round here?"

He didn't want to answer,but his status was bigger than his will.Mary Jane looked at him and said:

"I'm going to go in,Pete,have fun".She knew he was a good person but she couldn't bear Pete's friends.

"Sure"-he answered.They walked to Flash and begun mocking him,his friend screamed:

"Stop".They turned to her,Thompson quickly turned to them and threatened:

"If you lay one finger on he..."-he wasn't able to finish the phrase,Pete punched him straight in the face and laughed.

"What are you going to do,call up a giant spider to kill me?"

They stole Thompson's backpack and ran away,Pete wasn't really interested in the fair,he opened the boy's backpack and found something interesting,he pressed the only button in it and the thing shot web!It was a web launcher!

Pete remembered he left MJ in the fair,he ran back there,Thompson had already left.He entered the building and just in time,MJ was watching a lecture that showed some radioactive tested ants,Peter walked to her and hid the web-shooter in his pocket.

"Hey,baby"-he said

"Hey"-she answered

"Now we will release the ants in this pot and we will see what they do when stimulated by sugar"-told the scientist.As he put the ants in the pot,one of them walked away and went to the audience,it passed through all of them until it found Mary Jane,the ant climbed her leg and her arm,Pete saw the ant and warned:

"Be careful,an ant!"-he took his hand to her arm in order to kill it,the ant climbed his arm and bit him just in time,in matter of seconds he threw the ant away and killed it.

Octavius' secret laboratory,4 p.m.

Otto was ready,the doctors had built a machine for his use if he discovered the cure,it was about time,he entered the machine and his workers started the countdown.He was nervous and happy at the same time,the formule would give him the vitality he need and some strenght as a bonus.The procces begun,he should stay there for two hours but he hadn't told the scientists this part,he would warn them if needed,he was there for almost the two hours needed,but the experiment was making he sleepy."Just five more minutes" he thought,but the body needed the rest,he blacked out.

Continue in the next issue!

#11 Posted by TheAcidSkull (18032 posts) - - Show Bio

good, very good

#12 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheAcidSkull said:

good, very good

Well,I try.

#13 Edited by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

It's Interesting.

#14 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas said:

It's...Interesting.

I feel a certain irony here,anyway, I can't please everyone.

#15 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

It's...Interesting.

I feel a certain irony here,anyway, I can't please everyone.

No irony. I feel it has potential.

#16 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas said:

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

It's...Interesting.

I feel a certain irony here,anyway, I can't please everyone.

No irony. I feel it has potential.

Really,well thank you than.I had this ant idea but still it's not in it's higher.

#17 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

It's...Interesting.

I feel a certain irony here,anyway, I can't please everyone.

No irony. I feel it has potential.

Really,well thank you than.I had this ant idea but still it's not in it's higher.

You are welcome. Can't wait to see what else you do with the series.

#18 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas said:

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

@deadpoolrules said:

@tmacximas said:

It's...Interesting.

I feel a certain irony here,anyway, I can't please everyone.

No irony. I feel it has potential.

Really,well thank you than.I had this ant idea but still it's not in it's higher.

You are welcome. Can't wait to see what else you do with the series.

I'm thinking that I could put the third part up today and the fourth tomorrow.

#19 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

Neat.

#20 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good.

#21 Posted by desmond006 (596 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: Its a good start. I'll read the second one later. Even though you said its not your best work it was still a good read.

#22 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@desmond006 said:

@deadpoolrules: Its a good start. I'll read the second one later. Even though you said its not your best work it was still a good read.

thanks,man I apreciate that.

,tanks.The 3hd one will be out today and the fourth.

#23 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

,tanks.The 3hd one will be out today and the fourth.

Wow, you work quick.

#24 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

,tanks.The 3hd one will be out today and the fourth.

Wow, you work quick.

Haha,yes,the ideas were already here,just needed to write them.

#25 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

,tanks.The 3hd one will be out today and the fourth.

Wow, you work quick.

Haha,yes,the ideas were already here,just needed to write them.

Story of everything I do. Fan fiction, make comic books, etc.

#26 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

@TheCannon said:

@deadpoolrules said:

,tanks.The 3hd one will be out today and the fourth.

Wow, you work quick.

Haha,yes,the ideas were already here,just needed to write them.

Story of everything I do. Fan fiction, make comic books, etc.

I'm just writting the third,^^.

#27 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

The Incredible Spider-Man #3

Otto woke up,the timer into the machine was showing the unbelievable,he was there for four hours,he screamed:

"Get me the hell outta of here"-the scientists ran to the machine,they were terrified,their boss wasn't the nervous type and the voice,the voice was terrifying,it looked like a goblin,a really angry goblin.When they took him out he was different,his body was beefy,a big smile in his face,he started laughing loud,than louder,his laughter was some sort of sonic scream that made all of them confused.His mind had changed too,it was divided in two personalities,the serious and always well-informed genious and the crazy,bloodythirst maniac that was calling himself,Green Goblin.

Otto couldn't control himself,he grabbed the closest scientist and broke his neck,than he went over his war experiments room,there he found a glider with secret knifes on it's back,a plasma sword,a laser shield and some grenades,it was the sufficient,he went to his room,took a bag and hid all the equipments in it,he went to his personal lab and picked up some vibranium and steel as well as his tentacles.He escaped his building avoiding all the reporters,he went to an old building,the building that he made his first laboratory,and went all the way up,to his poor laboratory/room he used to call home and started working in a new armor,a green armor.

Parker's house,1 a.m.

Peter woke up,he wasn't feeling fine since he came back from the fair,he got up and tried to walk,his legs were tingling,he forced them and then got up,in his way to the kitchen he started thinking about Thompson and his new gadget,he knew he had to give it back,so he decided that next day he was giving it back.He went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass,he dropped some water in it and started drinking.He was going back to his room when he heard some noises coming from the living room,he went quietly and,arriving there he saw to man peeking up the TV,he rushed in front of them and punched one of them in the face,the man's neck broke,the other pulled up his gun and shot Peter in the head,the noise was so loud that Sara woke up,the bullet hit the boy and fell to the ground,he could barely believe,he kicked the other bandit and killed him at the same moment,he heard his mom:

"Pete,are you alright?"-at this moment he got the televison put it in it's place and caught both criminals up his arm,and answered:

"Yes,mom,I just broke a glass,I will throw the sharpenned parts in the trash and I will go for a walk"

"Okay sweet heart,but isn't it late for a walk?"

"I can't sleep and need to put the ideas in order to the next tests"

"Oh,I see it,good walk so,bye"

"That was close"he tought,"it's one a.m.,the park isn't so distant and it has a lake,it's a great place to hid them",he put up some clothes and went out, there was nobody in the streets,arriving in the park he ran to the lake and throwed both bodies there and walked away.While walking away he realised the shot actually hit him and started wondering himself"What the hell happened?"

He didn't slept that night,he was thinking about his new strenght and resistance,but he had to go to Thompson's that day,he put on some clothes and went downstairs for breakfast,in the kitchen,the radio was on and he heard a notice:

"Two men were found in the Green Garden park today and they were both dead,they were bandits that police was searching for,but nobody knows who did this"-he felt bad knowing he actually killed both and felt guilty,but there wasn't time for it,so he grabbed the web-launcher from his pocket and headed to Thompson's house.

In front off their house,Peter pushed the door bell,a fat woman answered with a contempt look.

"Can I talk with Flash?"

"Flash,it's for you"-she screamed.

At the door Flash was in panic,did that bully went to his home to hit him again?Peter extended his hand with Flash's web-shooter and said:

"Sorry"

A smile appeared in the boy's face,he grabbed his project and,thankfuly,asked:

"Do you want anything in trade of this?"

Peter thought that with his new powers,he could use some gadgets,every help was necessary,"and"he added"I am as strong as a spider,what spider can't shoot web?"

"Can you make me a couple of web-launchers and pass me the web's formule?"-he asked

"Sure"-answered the boy-"come back next week and I will already have it done"

The boy closed the door and Pete walked away,he had the powers,he had the gadgets but he hadn't the costume,"I could make the costume myself,principaly using my dad's army uniform" he went to his house and started working in it,he used the red color of the uniform and rent a blue shirt,drawing a black spider on it,he passed the whole day working,in the end,he had the uniform.

Next:The Incredible Spider-Man #4:First Battle

Here is his uniform:

#28 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay, pretty good. This may be the best one yet. I sent you the PM with the problems (which you corrected), so it's great.

Also, love the costume.

#29 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

This is the best so far,

#30 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas said:

This is the best so far,

Yeah,next one,Green Goblin vs Brown Ant Spider-Man.

Like the way that I'm changing the story to fit in Spidey's name?

#31 Posted by desmond006 (596 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty creative so far.

#32 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@desmond006 said:

Pretty creative so far.

Is that good for you?Anyway,I try to make my best modifying the story and I feel glad due to picking marvel's most famous character.

#33 Posted by desmond006 (596 posts) - - Show Bio

Its good for me. I appreciate when someone isn't afraid to change a classic story.

#34 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

This is interesting; your English is mostly fine haha :). I'm interested in seeing the Goblin vs the Spider.

#35 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

Good besides the bad grammar and spelling. Also you put "swettie" instead of "sweetie"

#36 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout said:

Good besides the bad grammar and spelling. Also you put "swettie" instead of "sweetie"

Well,I'm brazilian and I was busy studying for my English test at the same time,but thanks;)

#37 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

done.

#38 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

done.

#39 Posted by RedRobinTimDrake (145 posts) - - Show Bio

why did he get bitten by and ant? so why did he say as strong as a spider and he is going to have web shooters does not exactly make sense. and by the way you are using my character.

.

#40 Posted by DickGrayson (330 posts) - - Show Bio

Ummm? Try to modify this a little? I mean if you'd like?

#41 Posted by majestic99 (8637 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: Okay.

#42 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@RedRobinTimDrake said:

why did he get bitten by and ant? so why did he say as strong as a spider and he is going to have web shooters does not exactly make sense. and by the way you are using my character.

.

That's the point,he's so dumb he thought he had spider powers.

@DickGrayson said:

Ummm? Try to modify this a little? I mean if you'd like?

Why?Because of the ant thing?

#43 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

The Incredible Spider-Man #4

Abandoned building 6:30 a.m.

Otto woke up,"where am I?" he thought,"this looks like my old laboratory" he completed,he got up and looked to the table,a green armor was laying over it and his tentacles were attached right to it's back,another voice said "good morning,Ocky".

"Who is there?"-he asked loudly

No one answered,suddenly the voice came back "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,I'm not a real person,I'm your mind,your unconscious assassin that layed hid for a long time,I'm the Green Goblin" ,"impossible,a second voice on my unconscious,I never thought this actually could happen,I need to get back to my lab in Octavius Industry,there I should be able to...","You aren't going to anywhere,I'm in control now" the goblin said,Otto was forced to move to the table and he put on his new armor,he caught the glider and flew away by the window,the goblin had a plan,a massacre,it was 4th of July and people were out to celebrate.

Parker's residence 7 a.m.

Peter washed his hair and chose some nice clothes,it was 4th of July,he put the costume first and after,the clothes,the mask he hid in the pocket.His mom was sleeping and he didn't wanted to wake her up,he wrote he was out in a paper and put it in the fridge.He ate some bread and went out,he was walking when he heard a weird noise,a laughter.He looked up to the sky and saw a strange figure,he follow the figure until it reached some point,it stopped looked down,loads of people were down the street,the figure laughed and threw some bombs in them,Pete was fast,he ripped his clothes of and,with the costume,he jumped in the bombs way,both hit him and damaged his cstume,hils legs wee almost naked.The figure jumped from it's glider and hit the ground,it was a man,a man in a green costume.He started to present himself:

"Hello ladies and gentleman,I'm the Green Goblin and I'm here to kill you all,hahahahahahahhahahahaha,and who are you,my fellow spider?"

"Call me-Pete started saying,"good question,what's my hero name?"he thought,"I will have to improve"-...call me Spider-Man."

"Oh,Spider-Man,I'll smash you like the bug that you are"-mocked the goblin.

Green Goblin caught Pete with one of his tentacles,Pete was terrified,what that goblin thing would want with him?Quickly he punched the tentacle,his strenght was so big that he was able to throw away the tentacle.

"My weaponry,what did you done with it?"-Green Goblin screamed,the goblin caught a sword and pressed a button,the sword lighted up and he started using it against Spider-Man,it hit spidey and actually hurt him."OUCH,that one hurt a lot,I have to get rid of this fire sword",Pete advanced avoiding all of Goblin's scams,he punched Goblin in the face,Green Goblin retreated and started laughing,but not his usual laugh,a sonic one.Pete's ears were hurt,but he had the will to jump and punch Goblin again,straight in the face.

"Shut up!!!"-Goblin lighted his sword again,Pete was able to avoid and hit Otto in the hand,making he drop the plasma sword,Otto answered his move with a kick right in his chest,Pete wasn't hurt,Goblin caught two grenades and throwed them,one exploded in Pete's face and the other at his legs,his face was uncovered.

"Pete!!!"-Mary Jane screamed shocked,she was watching the fight since it begun.The goblin didn't lost time,he grabbed his glider and flew in MJ's direction,Sara was there also,she woke up with so much noise,she saw her son,but she didn't had time to say anything but:

"Son!!!!!!"

Green Goblin grabbed both of them and went all the way up to a building,than he said:

"Spidey,spidey,I will drop both,you will just pick one,choose"-and he dropped them,Peter ran as fast as he could,but the goblin threw a grenade on him and that made him stop,he looked to the floor,there they were,the only two he loved,he lost his world,he was angry and scared,a tear went down his eyes,Otto took an advantage on the situation and flew away.

In that day Pete swore that he would track Green Goblin down and would kill him in a really,really painful way.He was finished.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading,hope you liked it.

Green Goblin costume:

Coming next:Painful Way to Die #1.

MJ and Sara Parker's funeral

What will happen to Pete?

What will happen to Green Goblin?

#44 Posted by Inverno (13217 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol dude did you know Captain Marvel from had a actual Captain Nazi supervillain?

Props for not making Norman Osborn the bad guy from the beginning.

#45 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@CaioTrubat said:

Lol dude did you know Captain Marvel from had a actual Captain Nazi supervillain?

Props for not making Norman Osborn the bad guy from the beginning.

Thanks and yes,I knew it,Cap.Nazi is 's idea,I just mentioned him,I'm already in the fourth part,though.

#46 Posted by majestic99 (8637 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

Very good. Love the reference to Captain Nazi.

@TheCannon said:

Very good.

#47 Posted by TheCannon (18660 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good.

I would of commented earlier, but was out.

#48 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks to all of you.

:-D

#49 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

@RedRobinTimDrake said:

why did he get bitten by and ant? so why did he say as strong as a spider and he is going to have web shooters does not exactly make sense. and by the way you are using my character.

.

What character?

#50 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout said:

@RedRobinTimDrake said:

why did he get bitten by and ant? so why did he say as strong as a spider and he is going to have web shooters does not exactly make sense. and by the way you are using my character.

.

What character?

Oh, Flash Thompson.