#1 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk,the Origin Part 1 of 1:

Bruce Banner was a very known scientist,his projects with radiation and weapons to the government were very famous,he was a man with 1 meter and 80 centimeters high,he weighed 85 pounds,had a short brown hair and used glasses.He worked for General Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross,a man that was always seeking for power,that's why he hired Banner as his nuclear armory chief.

Recently,some historians had discovered an artifact with high radioactivity levels,they went immediately tell the government of the USA,then they warned General Ross about it.They mysteriously died,murdered in their own apartment,together with the bodies was a message saying:"Don't go to the same place as this men,you cannot have the idol,it's already mine." and the artifact was gone!Ross took that as an outrage of a terrorist leader or a special agent,so he instructed Banner to go there and have idol taken,and the secret assassin killed,Banner was supposed to go there and meet a special troop of well trained agents.

Banner's house,5:30 a.m.

In the next day,Banner woke up earlier than usual,he didn't even had breakfast,he just put some clothes and went to the cave,arriving there he asked to the team's captain:

-And our situation down there?

-Some scientists were already here and did some research,we need to use the radioactivity special clothing if we want to get close.

-Not about this,about the assassin,I don't care about it,I care about all of us,alive,getting out of that cave.-answered the scientist..

-Sorry,sir.We didn't found nothing yet,I think he was such an idiot he brang it back for the cave and probably died with the radioactivity levels.-said the soldier-Hahaha,what a jerk.

-Thanks,dismissed.-Banner said putting on the radioactivity special uniform.

As he was entering the cave,fear took control of him and he wanted to flee,but he couldn't,he wanted to discover what mystical/scientific properties did the object have.The cave was dark,the only visual light capable of clearing the place was the artifact.

-Interesting,the object is glowing,I suppose it could be a great energy source for the big cities.-said Bruce,amazed.

He managed to grab the object to look closer,it had some strange signs,but they were in some ancient language,actually it was a language unknow by the historians,a new language!Suddenly a scream was heard:

-AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh...

They all managed to look behind them,the captain was dead and a strange,green monster was standing in front of him,with a knife full of blood on it's hand,as the body format allowed them to see,it looked like a female,but she was beefy and high,something about 2 meters high,tought Bruce.She grabbed her knife and attacked the first two soldiers,both were dead instantly.The others started shooting and hit her in the head,in the legs,in the neck,nothing was capable of containing her,she then finished other three soldiers with her own hands and threw the knife into Bruce,some soldiers were distracting her and she missed his hearth,but the knife hit his chest.He couldn't describe the pain he was feeling.He managed to escape and ran out of the cave,all the support team was dead.The green monster walked out of the cave holding the dead soldiers heads.Bruce was nervous,he was terrified,he didn't knew it would end that way.He closed his eyes and prayed,a thing he never did before.He prayed for his friends,for Betty E. Ross,and his secret love by many years hid,he prayed for the general and for his family,that he had fled many years ago,as a little boy.After all his praying,he oppened his eyes and looked to the cave direction,the monster had vanished,suddenly,he felt a hand in his back,it was her,but she was starring him,as she understood his pain,than she put her hand into the knife and pulled it out of his chest,than she stammered:

-You're the one,the honor in you is strong,little human,always thinking about the others first,that was his wish,he needed someone of a pure hearth to give his power.

-Who?-asked Bruce.

Suddenly a voice invaded his head:"You that holds this artifact,you have a pure hearth and a noble spirit,let me introduce myself,I'm Hulk and my partner is Loreta,I was a warriors back in the third century,I fought for Rome,but one day,the Gods made me attack a small village and kill every single soul there,even kids and women.Loreta was the only reason I stopped,she was a kid back then,and she was scared,so I dropped my sword and shield,I gave up,the Gods didn't liked my choice,so they sent an entire battalion after me,I was killed with an arrow in the hearth,but my soul was trapped here in this artifact you hold by the Gods,and I can only get out when a noble person touch it,giving him the curse they passed me,the curse of the death,once taken by the beast,you can't stop killing,but when the Fall of the Olympus happened due to the shaken faith of the humans,my curse was partially gone,now the beast is totally rational and share of the same intelligence and spirit of the one who control it.I even learned your language just by your touch.Now,are you ready to control the beast?"."Wait,you're telling me that I will receive powers of a mythological being and I won't be human anymore?"."No,you will receive the responsability of controlling the beast and clean your world of the evil elements,protecting who you love and care about."."No,thanks,I refuse"."You will thank me after this.And remember,the beast can only be unleashed when your are in danger or in rage,but there are other ways,you will learn with time."."No,don't do i..."."Finally,I'm free,thank you Bruce Banner".

Bruce woke up,it was already late,the sky was dark,he got up and saw the Loreta,she was smiling and thanking:

-Thank you.little human,now I can go away.-and vanished in the air.

Bruce got on his car and grabbed his phone,he called Ross and told him everything that happened,except from the artifact that talked to him,Ross told him he was sending a team and that he was a hero,he avenged his colleagues deaths and asked about the artifact,banner told him that the artifact hasn't anything special,it couldn't be used for nothing.The general was disapointed,but he wanted to see Bruce in a dinner in the next night,than he turned off the phone.After turning on the car,bruce thought:"What the hell happened here?I'm not a monster or a mythological creature,maybe it could be my imagination,I think I blacked out and dreamed about that.Wanna know,forget about it and focus in your job."And the lonely man,that doesn't know about his true power,moves away to an uncertain future.

#2 Posted by TheCannon (18800 posts) - - Show Bio

Absolutely epic.

#3 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

Absolutely epic.

Thanks man,I'll probably keep the stories at this level

#4 Posted by TheCannon (18800 posts) - - Show Bio

No one else is going to read this work of art? It's the greatest Hulk themed story of all time!

#5 Posted by YoungJustice (6846 posts) - - Show Bio

You sir need an award.

#6 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@YoungJustice said:

You sir need an award.

Thanks.

#7 Posted by Referee (7681 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice, I liked it, PM when you have more,

I never would have thought The Hulk a Roman Solider of the Gods, Great thinking out side the Box, That's what I like the most!

#8 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@Referee said:

Nice, I liked it, PM when you have more,

I never would have thought The Hulk a Roman Solider of the Gods, Great thinking out side the Box, That's what I like the most!

Thanks,I will let you know when the other one is out.

#9 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Very interesting.

#10 Posted by UnderDogs_OverBoard (1137 posts) - - Show Bio

Vinersaurs Vinersaurs

oh JK

I loved it man!

YOU AARE AWESOME thay said what needs to be said so i'll just say I love you!

#11 Posted by terry2012 (5223 posts) - - Show Bio

I like the story.

#12 Edited by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@VyseCarma said:

Very interesting.

Thanks,dude

@UnderDogs_OverBoard said:

Vinersaurs Vinersaurs

oh JK

I loved it man!

YOU AARE AWESOME thay said what needs to be said so i'll just say I love you!

Love me??

@terry2012 said:

I like the story.

Thanks,man

#13 Posted by UnderDogs_OverBoard (1137 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: I don't want to say that I loved it cuz you were a fellow vinersaur... I loved it cuz it is awesome by itself that is why when I said Vinersaurs i said JK though it really is A work of genius man...

#14 Posted by terry2012 (5223 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: Your welcome.

#15 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#16 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

FORGET COOL, THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#17 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout said:

FORGET COOL, THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks.

#18 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1673 posts) - - Show Bio

This is potential going to come across as rude {I don't mean to, but it may read that way} Is English your 2nd language? Because I've read some other fan-fics from people in South America and some of your grammar (commas, captials, hyphens etc) are in the wrong spots and your spacing is a tad off. This is your opening sentence: {Bruce Banner was a very known scientist,his projects with radiation and weapons to the government were very famous,he was a man with 1 meter and 80 centimeters high,he weighed 85 pounds,had a short brown hair and used glasses.He worked for General Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross,a man that was always seeking for power,that's why he hired Banner as his nuclear armory chief} Can you tell me what is wrong with it?

#19 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: I understand English is their second language. On that point, perhaps deadpoolrules should take up a beta reader or something? Otherwise the ideas are probably there (I sorta skimmed through it, but it seems to be an interesting take).

#20 Posted by TheAcidSkull (18032 posts) - - Show Bio

awesome

#21 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson said:

This is potential going to come across as rude {I don't mean to, but it may read that way} Is English your 2nd language? Because I've read some other fan-fics from people in South America and some of your grammar (commas, captials, hyphens etc) are in the wrong spots and your spacing is a tad off. This is your opening sentence: {Bruce Banner was a very known scientist,his projects with radiation and weapons to the government were very famous,he was a man with 1 meter and 80 centimeters high,he weighed 85 pounds,had a short brown hair and used glasses.He worked for General Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross,a man that was always seeking for power,that's why he hired Banner as his nuclear armory chief} Can you tell me what is wrong with it?

Man,still studying English,I study it since I was 7 now I'm 14 and the course will go on until I'm 25,so it will take a time for me to write really well,and also I was hurry,so stop complaining about my grammar in every single post.

@darth_brendroid said:

@4donkeyjohnson: I understand English is their second language. On that point, perhaps deadpoolrules should take up a beta reader or something? Otherwise the ideas are probably there (I sorta skimmed through it, but it seems to be an interesting take).

Thanks,I guess

#22 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: Just suggesting you work with someone probably to improve the English in your stories; this is an English-speaking site so it shouldn't be hard :) I look forward to seeing the next Hulk. You've got an interesting premise here.

#23 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@darth_brendroid said:

@deadpoolrules: Just suggesting you work with someone probably to improve the English in your stories; this is an English-speaking site so it shouldn't be hard :) I look forward to seeing the next Hulk. You've got an interesting premise here.

Yeah,PrimePower volunteered to help,but he was offline and I needed to post this story as fast as I could,but thanks

#24 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules: Rightio :)

#25 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheAcidSkull said:

awesome

Thanks

#26 Posted by TheCannon (18800 posts) - - Show Bio

Marvel needs to hire you to write comics.

#27 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

Marvel needs to hire you to write comics.

Lol,I wish it happens as well.

#28 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1673 posts) - - Show Bio

For a 14yr old you are doing well. But the only way you're going to get better is if people tell you where you're going wrong, or would you just like to me sing your praises and say it's wonderful when it isn't?? Storywise it is okay, the grammatical part is all over the place (which I guessed correctly that English is your 2nd language...which well done I speak English only, you've got two!)

#29 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson said:

For a 14yr old you are doing well. But the only way you're going to get better is if people tell you where you're going wrong, or would you just like to me sing your praises and say it's wonderful when it isn't?? Storywise it is okay, the grammatical part is all over the place (which I guessed correctly that English is your 2nd language...which well done I speak English only, you've got two!)

I know I'm going wrong man,but I had to do this story fast,I can't spoil you the reason and I would ask for some help from PrimePower,but he was offline.

#30 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (20264 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice. I like it.

"Be water my friend"

#31 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

Nice. I like it.

"Be water my friend"

Thanks,bossman

Chimichanged by:

#32 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1673 posts) - - Show Bio

I didn't know you were on a time limit....seems a bit odd but whatever. Your stories will get better with time and with proper application of grammar, spacing etc. For a bilingual 14yr old you are doing very well, I'm not trying to discourage you; just help is all.

#33 Posted by batkevin74 (10811 posts) - - Show Bio

@deadpoolrules said:

Hulk: The Origin

Bruce Banner was a very well known scientist. His projects with radiation and weapons for the government were well documented. He worked under General Thaddeus E. Ross ,a man nicknamed Thunderbolt for his temper and that he was always seeking power.

That's just a minor edit on your opening paragraph. The idea seems a little rushed but it is very interesting. Keep up the good work, maybe copy what you've written onto a Word doc before posting it, it'll catch a bunch of typos & grammar errors.