#1 Edited by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

Marvel Re-imagined Origins: Captain America #2

February 1943.

INT. Wearhouse.

A group of US Soldiers are holding guns to the door.

Soldier:

When he comes in, fire with everything you’ve got.

Suddenly, the door is broke down by Captain Nazi, and the soldiers start firing. Captain Nazi holds his shield up, and all of the bullets bounce off of the shield, hitting and killing the soldiers.

In the rafters, a man is there with several grenades. He takes one, takes the pin off, and throws it at Captain Nazi. Cap grabs it and throws it back at him.

MAN:

Oh crap.

The grenade goes off, killing all of the soldiers. Captain Nazi survived by using his shield to shield himself.

Cut to.

INT. HYDRA Base, Germany.

Inside, the Red Skull is waiting for Captain Nazi. He walks in.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

Parker and his squad have been dealt with. I await further command.

RED SKULL:

You have done good Captain. Never have you come back this quickly from a mission.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

Who is my next target?

RED SKULL:

Someone who could mean major trouble for the Axis. Namor, the Sub-Mariner. He has talked about joining the Allies to fight in the War. This could mean the Fall of HYDRA.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

Tell me where he is, and I will finish him off.

RED SKULL:

No. Wait. For now, go to the hibernation tube.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

Okay.

Captain Nazi walks to a containment tube. He takes his mask off, puts his shield on a table. He gets in a tube, and it closes. A type of gas comes out of it, and Captain Nazi falls asleep.

Then, Baron Von Strucker walks up.

BARON VON STRUCKER:

Sir, why are we keeping him in that after every mission? He is eager to fight, and will not stand for failing you.

RED SKULL:

He is fighting the mind control chip in the back of his brain. This gas helps take away that willpower he has to fight it. Now, how is Zemo doing trying the serum on more people?

BARON VON STRUCKER:

He has been unsuccessful. The serum is not working on anyone but Steve Rogers. There is something special about his body.

And, I have one more question?

RED SKULL:

Ask, then leave me.

BARON VON STRUCKER:

His shield, the metal it is made of, why is the the only one with it? Shouldn’t all of us have it?

RED SKULL:

That is all the vibranium we were able to gain when we invaded Wakanda. They have some of the best defenses on the planet. We were lucky to get that.

Now, leave my presence.

BARON VON STRUCKER:

Yes sir.

Cut to...

One week later.

INT. White house

Namor, king of Atlantis, is meeting with Franklin Roosevelt.

Captain Nazi is on a hill right near the White House, talking on a walkie talkie with Red Skull.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

I see the Sub-Mariner. Shall I engage?

RED SKULL:

Not yet. First, throw a grenade.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

As you wish.

Captain Nazi pulls a grenade out of his utility belt, pulls the pin off, and throws it at Namor. It explodes upon hitting him, killing three of the surrounding reporters and injuring President Roosevelt badly. It does not affect Namor, due to his invulnerability.

NAMOR:

Get President Roosevelt to a hospital! I will deal the man who threw that grenade.

Captain Nazi leaps in front of Namor, ready to fight.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

You want me? Come and get me.

NAMOR:

You were the one who threw the grenade? This will be an easy win.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

I don’t know what your definition of evil is buddy, but I’m not failing Red Skull.

Namor throws a punch at him, but Cap blocks it with his shield. Cap tires to punch him, but Namor dodges it, and hits Cap with an uppercut. Namor flies and Cap while he’s down, but Cap kicks him in the gut, then hits him in the face with his shield. Namor flies into the air, but Cap throws his shield at him, and it hits him in the face. Namor comes falling onto the ground, just barely standing on his feet. Cap walks up to him, and hits him in the testicles. Namor falls on the ground.

RED SKULL (on walkie talkie):

Finish him!

CAPTAIN NAZI:

You can see what’s going on?

RED SKULL:

Do not question me! Finish him!

Captain Nazi continues to pound on Namor. Blood if flowing out of Namor’s mouth, nose, and ears.

Just as Captain Nazi is about to deliver the finishing blow, he stops. He struggles not to hit Namor again.

CAPTAIN NAZI (thoughts):

Come on Steve! You can fight this! Don’t let the Red Skull control you any more!

RED SKULL (on walkie talkie):

What are you waiting for!?! Finish him!

CAPTAIN NAZI:

I... can ... fight this...

RED SKULL:

Disappointing

Then, the chip in the back of Cap’s head gives an electrical should to him.

CAPTAIN NAZI:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Captain Nazi falls on the ground, unconscious.

Cut to.

INT. Red Skull base

RED SKULL:

Strucker, go pick the Captain up. And tell Zemo he will have some work to do.

Cut to.

INT. White house.

Bucky is on the roof of the white house, watching everything that has went on.

BUCKY:

Sir, I found him.

To be concluded...

#2 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

I think that's everyone.

#3 Posted by majestic99 (8637 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon: Awesome story.

#4 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks.

#5 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay, that's everyone who read issue 1.

#6 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@BlueLantern1995 said:

Good job...

Thanks.

#7 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio
#8 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

It's generally good and has an interesting idea (brainwashed!Cap vs Namor) and I like the small references to other series in the wider universe (Parker's squad?). There is the odd sentence that's a little off (this one stands out: "I will deal the man who threw that grenade") but those for the most don't detract from the story. Maybe something to watch for in future though. I also like the additions to the Red Skull's villain posse in this issue.

#9 Posted by batkevin74 (11039 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon said:

CAPTAIN NAZI:

I don’t know what your definition of evil is buddy, but I’m not failing Red Skull.

That makes NO sense. I get that Cap's brainwashed, but yeah this is clunky and not the best. On the whole its good, some grammatical errors (White House need captials etc)

#10 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout said:

Thank you.

@darth_brendroid said:

It's generally good and has an interesting idea (brainwashed!Cap vs Namor) and I like the small references to other series in the wider universe (Parker's squad?). There is the odd sentence that's a little off (this one stands out: "I will deal the man who threw that grenade") but those for the most don't detract from the story. Maybe something to watch for in future though. I also like the additions to the Red Skull's villain posse in this issue.

Thank you for the criticism and the comments about what you liked. I will try to work on these for the next issue and other series.

@batkevin74 said:

@TheCannon said:

CAPTAIN NAZI:

I don’t know what your definition of evil is buddy, but I’m not failing Red Skull.

That makes NO sense. I get that Cap's brainwashed, but yeah this is clunky and not the best. On the whole its good, some grammatical errors (White House need captials etc)

I will try to work on this. Thank you.

#11 Posted by The Poet (8338 posts) - - Show Bio

interesting....

Moderator
#12 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet said:

interesting....

In a good way or a bad way?

#13 Posted by The Poet (8338 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCannon: good way

Moderator
#14 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet said:

@TheCannon: good way

good. Thank you.

#15 Posted by daredevil21134 (12154 posts) - - Show Bio

Good work

#16 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@daredevil21134 said:

Good work

Thanks.

#17 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1706 posts) - - Show Bio

Thank you for including me in your 'shout out' but I decline. I have not read this, you once again scripted it so I merely scrolled to the bottom here to tell you so. That is all.

#18 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump.

#19 Posted by Rusty_Irons (627 posts) - - Show Bio

I like it.

#20 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

@tmacximas said:

I like it.

Good.

#21 Posted by TheCannon (19041 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump.