Posted by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio

(This is the first chapter for my part of the Marvel Re-Genesis group started by @avenging_x_bolt )

A Kree ship enters the Sol system. Two blue skinned Kree look out an observation bay. One called Colonel Yon-Rogg looks back, "We are wasting time."

The "pink" skinned Captain Mar-Vell shrugs, "Routine threat assessment. Has to be done and since we're the closest, Command ordered us to do it."

Yon-Rogg gave a condescending sneer and began to speak but was cut off by the Kree known as Ronan, "Who is the assigned Captain of this ship?"

Yon-Rogg looked nervous, "Mar-Vell, sir."

Ronan nodded, "And what is the punishment for disobeying the orders of an assigned captain or asking for him to be derelict in his duty?"

Ronan stared down on Yon-Rogg fully expecting an answer. The smaller Kree shook a bit as he spoke, "Execution, sir."

Mar-Vell stifled a chuckle as the Colonel made his way off the bridge. Ronan stared hard as the came upon the third planet from this systems sun, "I often wonder why the Supreme Intelligence bothers to worry about this little water ball."

The Captain stepped over, "My guess would be they're mostly worried about Attilan, tho I couldn't say if it even exists anymore. We haven't seen a trace of it in over a thousand cycles."

Ronan began to speak but the ship rocked violently as something slammed into it. Vell hit his comm, "What was that?"

A voice came over the comm, "We were struck by a small craft, damage is minimal."

Vell nodded, "Was it an attack?"

"Unknown, sir. Signs point to accidental encounter and the craft seems to be completely disabled."

Vell looked to Ronan, "Pardon me, sir."

He then headed off the bridge, "Bring it in, we'll bring it back as part of our assessment."

"Yes, sir."

***

Mar-Vell entered the bay as a soldier approached, "There's a pilot on board, seems to be unconscious."

They pulled the pilot out. Vell looked her over and moved to take off her helmet, "Get me a breather, they have an oxygen heavy atmosphere."

He attached the breather over her mouth and nose and set it to compensate, "Take her to the med bay and let me know she wakes up."

The soldier looked over, "How do you know its a she?"

"Files say most Terrans are aesthetically similar to Kree. Looks like a female to me."

***

In the Med bay a blue skinned Kree doctor looks her over and notices her dog tags as he picks up a translation devise. He holds it over the tags as he scrolls through options, "Hey Kor, you know what this language is called?"

Kor was looking at a monitor, "According to the files...." He squinted a bit as he looked, "I think it says Angleesh"

The doctor furrowed his brow, "There's one called English listed as a common Earth language."

Kor shrugged, "Worth a shot."

He looks over the translator, "Captain Carol Danvers, U.S.A.F., whatever that means. Sounds military."

Carol began to regain consciousness as the two doctors spoke in a language she couldn't understand. She tried to sit up, but was restrained. She began to thrash around as the doctors noticed, "Call the captain."

Kor held her arm still as he injected her with something. She yelled at him, "What the hell did you give me?!"

He gave a wary look, "Translator microbes, calm down."

She was still unnerved but she hid her fear well, "Where am I?"

A voice came in from behind, "This is a Kree star cruiser. Your craft collided with ours."

She looked over to see Mar-Vell, "Are you human?"

He shook his head, "No I am Kree, just a different paint job."

He then introduced himself, "I'm Captain Mar-Vell."

She gave him an odd look, "Captain Marvel? Sounds like a comic book character."

"No, its Mar-Vell. And you are?"

"Captain Carol Danvers, United States Air Force. Why am I here?"

He sighed a bit, "We were doing a routine threat assessment when your craft collided with ours. Unfortunately our protocols dictate that we needed to assess whether your craft was a weapon and if so if it presents a danger."

She sat up as he unshackled her, "Its a prototype high speed vehicle for space flight. We were hoping to shorten the trip to other planets by a few years."

He looked incredulous, "Years?"

Kor chuckled, "Well now we know they can't chase us."

Mar-Vell gave a glare, "Her people aren't a space fairing race yet. You have to learn to crawl before you walk."

Carol cleared her throat, "Am I gonna get a ride home?"

Vell sighed, "Well, there's an issue with that. We're on a bit of a tight schedule. We have to get back to Kree-Lar and drop some people off but at most we're two days from the nearest Star-Gate that will take us right there. After that I'll take you back as soon as I get clearance."

Carol looked annoyed but had been in the military long enough to recognize when someone's hands are tied by red tape. Suddenly she looked down with a shock, "Am I naked?"

Kor nodded, "Wondered when she was gonna notice that."

***

Later Carol stood in the observation bay in awe of the stars rushing past as bored Kree wandered by. Mar-Vell stepped up next to her, "I remember that feeling, first time I was on a ship going beyond light speed I thought it was the most amazing thing in the universe. Tho you're lucky you were unconscious for the first couple days. My first time I thought my stomach would abandon ship."

She chuckled a bit, "Its odd, scientists on my world are still debating if its even possible to travel at the speed of light while your people are casually breaking it."

Vell shrugged, "We started with sticks and stone, same as you."

"These translator microbes are fantastic."

"A Spartoi scientist came up with them quite a while ago, they pretty much revolutionized interstellar commerce and diplomacy."

She was startled as Ronan stepped behind Vell. He towered over him. Vell turned as Ronan spoke, "Is it wise to allow this..Human, is it, To wander the ship?"

Vell nodded, "She's restricted to public areas only, and I doubt she'd be able to cause trouble. Her people take a week to get to their own moon, how much trouble can they be?"

Ronan glared down at Carol as he walked by. As a door closed behind him she looked back to Vell, "Who's that charming fella?"

"That is Ronan the Accuser, actually Supreme Accuser is his technical title. He's one of the highest ranking officers in the whole empire."

She was about to ask something but again the ship rocked. An alert rang out and Vell hit his comm, "What happened?"

Carol over heard the answer from an angry Kree, "A damned Skrull ship. It came out of nowhere and opened fire."

Carol started to say something but Vell ordered a soldier to take her to guest quarters.

***

Vell entered the bridge as Ronan was barking orders. Vell told him, "I have pilots heading to the fighters. What's the situation?"

Ronan looked down, "It's Commander Kl'rt."

Vell nodded, "Any chance, this is just a coincidence and they aren't trying to take you out?"

Ronan gave a blank stare as Vell sighed, "Didn't think so."

A soldier spoke up, "They're hailing."

Ronan nodded, "Let's hear it."

"The comm system rang out with Kl'rt's voice, "This is Kl'rt of the Skrull empire, surrender the accuser and you won't be killed."

Vell grinned a bit, "Does he really think we'd believe that?"

(To be continued)

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#2 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6031 posts) - - Show Bio

Ronan and K'lrt at each others throats. Ah the good old days...

On other matters the dialogue seemed a wee bit forced but other then that a good read. (If only I had that many readers for my stuff)

#3 Edited by Monarch_Chronicle (910 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: "Well now we know they can't chase us."

Best line in the fan fic. Serious bit of writing (tho im not the editing type someone else will surely say something if need be)

Glad to see we are off with a bang!

#4 Posted by The Impersonator (5620 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice job.

#5 Posted by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio
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#6 Edited by Arkhamc1tizen (2146 posts) - - Show Bio

Cool! Really fun read!!

#7 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6031 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Just feels oddly stiff is all. And it's not so much the exposition (hell most things I write are bulk loaded with it) it's more akin to the following;

Ronan gave a blank stare as Vell sighed, "Didn't think so." - For some reason my brain dislikes dialogue being written like this.

Maybe I'm wrong (probably) but the following sounds better (to me);

"I don't know." Mar'vell sighed as Ronan stared at him, a blank expression spread across his face.

Maybe it's just me though...

#8 Posted by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: I was implying that Mar-Vell knew what was up and was being a smart ass about it. I never liked that Marvel didn't give the Kree any sense of humor. Its like they made a whole race with sticks jammed firmly up their back sides. I decided to fix that.

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#9 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6031 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Still not what I'm getting at. To be honest it doesn't reallt matter, if you're happy with the way you write dialogue then it's fine.

Wish I could get some comments though - Still trying to figure that one out

#10 Edited by Avenging-X-Bolt (13625 posts) - - Show Bio

Fantastic!!!! An incredible start to Regenesis!!!!! I swear between this and Wrath Of The Red Lanterns, this has been a good day.

#11 Edited by AgeofHurricane (7303 posts) - - Show Bio

You've got it, man. Course, i'm not originally accustomed to this sector of the MU, so this was an interesting introductory story and a nice stimulant to set the balling rolling for the rest of Regen.

I could have done with a bit more Carol, but this is off to a compelling start.

#12 Posted by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: I pester people to comment. If you call me out on your fics when you write them I'll try to reply to all of them.

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#13 Edited by Project_Worm (3523 posts) - - Show Bio

Fan-f***ing-tastic!! The dialogue is great, really natural. Nice job.

#14 Posted by TDK_1997 (15069 posts) - - Show Bio

Gonna read it later!

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#15 Edited by Arkhamc1tizen (2146 posts) - - Show Bio

Great read.

#16 Posted by TDK_1997 (15069 posts) - - Show Bio

I have never almost read a book from Marvel centered around these types of characters but this was a good introduction. I really liked the pacing and the dialogue. Great job!

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#17 Posted by TheJester (180 posts) - - Show Bio

Wow man, just wow. I'm a huge fan of Ronan The Accuser, always have been, and I absolutely love his characterization here. It seems classic, and you've really set him up to go in any direction, whether it be heroic or, as he's been portrayed lately, a villain. The characterization in general is great to me, I've never been a fan of Captain Marvel, but you've actually made me interested, just from that opening sequence, I got a feel for each of the characters and it really defined them all individually.

I am anxiously awaiting the second chapter.

Seriously.

Get on it. xD

#18 Edited by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio

@thejester: a new chapter will be up tonight or tommorrow. I've never seen Ronan as legit evil, he's just a guy who lives by the morality he was raised on and will do whatever he believes is best for his people even if it means doing questionable things.

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#19 Posted by TheJester (180 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe Exactly! Not legit evil in his /own/ eyes, but to others, these questionable things are pure evil. It's like someone killing innocent people in the name of their religion because that's how they were brought up. Doesn't seem evil to them, but to other, such an act is mortifying.

#20 Posted by joshmightbe (24702 posts) - - Show Bio

@thejester: And the Kree as a race have a totally different set of morals than those of humans.

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#21 Posted by Uncanny_XFactor (653 posts) - - Show Bio

Wow! Awesome!!!

#22 Posted by batkevin74 (11209 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Kinda reminds me of your Iron Age Kree guys...Dal-Rogg and his brother whats-his-face. Good opener, occassionally I'd love to see actions AFTER your dialog but other than that it's fine :)

#23 Posted by TommytheHitman (3442 posts) - - Show Bio

Good stuff. And is it just me or does Marvel Re-Genesis seem to be pushing the Space side of the Marvel Universe more then the Magic side?

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