Rated MA, all characters owned by Marvel
E 149th St New York The Fallen Angel Tavern
“The main thing I find annoying about the fact I’m an animated corpse, is that everyone automatically thinks I’m a zombie!” said the emaciated young man sitting at the bar “So annoying! Not as annoying as buckshot to the face mind you!”
The bartender smiled and polished another wine glass, happily listening to the strange man, who looked a little bit like the mascot of his favourite band. Besides it was a slow night.
“So, what are you?” asked the bartender as he put up a refill for him, taking the notes from the wad beside the empty glass.
“Dunno! I’m not dead per se, but I’m not exactly alive! I’m…” he paused and looked at his greyed shrivelled hands and then his reflection in the bar mirrors “A monster”
The bartender’s eyes narrowed and he took a slight step back. Years of experience told him that when conversations become inward, then trouble often, not always, but often followed. Mainly due to the “reflector” throwing caution to the wind and doing something stupid.
“You’re not a monster pal” the bartender removed the empty glass and popped a bowl of nuts next to the man’s drink “You’re funny looking, I’ll give you that”
The man smiled a hollow smile “Thanks” and drained the beer before thumping it onto the bar “Pour me another, I gotta drain the weasel…which is weird; I don’t breathe, can’t get drunk, have no nerve endings but still have to urinate!” The man shambled down the bar towards the toilet.
The door jingled open and in walked a stunning woman with blonde hair wearing a long trench coat. The bartender’s hand drifted under the bar towards his shotgun, as people in trench coats often carry weapons especially those who saunter into bars at just after midnight.
“Can I help you?”
The woman smiled and peeled off her coat, draping it over a chair “May I have an absinthe on the rocks please?”
The bartender’s jaw nearly hit the floor as he stared at her beautiful lithe figure. She was super model meets Olympic gymnast dressed like a stripper.
“Sorry miss” said the bartender as he snapped back to reality and into action, hurriedly looking for the absinthe.
“Pretty quiet” she stated as she dropped a twenty on the bar.
“It’s now, Thursday morning” came the reply as he presented to her a generously over poured drink, smile from ear to ear “Usually pretty tame”
The door jingled open and in walked a pair; an Asian followed by a woman with green hair.
He handed back her change “So what can I get you folks?”
The Asian man shrugged and silently walked over to a table and sat, as the green haired woman approached the bar “Can I have…”
“You a mutant?” The bartender tapped his fingers on the bar “Coz you look like a mutant!”
The green haired woman stopped, stared right at him, her hands making their way into fists “And what if I am?”
The bartender smiled and pointed to the sign on the wall behind her “Let me buy YOU a drink!”
She smiled, a genuine, warm smile, tinged with a bit of irony “That’s possibly the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me; gin and tonic please.”
The green haired woman looked over to the blonde and then down the bar as the toilet door thumped open. The corpse-like man stopped cold as he saw the formerly empty bar now full of people.
“I knew me coming here wasn’t my idea!” he groaned as he looked around.
“You are correct Cody” said the bartender as a blue astral nimbus enveloped the bartender “I have summoned you all here”
“Yes Lorna” replied the projection, the bartender oblivious to the fact he was the host for the Sorcerer Supreme “It has been a while. Greetings to you also Cathy Webster, and to you Duc No Tranh”
“Um, hi!” said Cathy giving a little wave, the Asian man sat quietly.
“So what is this time doc?” asked Cody as he sat back in his seat “Evil sorceress? Demonic truck driver? Casket of ancient bogey men stolen by angry mummified pixies?”
Cody looked around at the three others in the dingy bar in the wee small hours “Really? You magically made us all come here to stop dvd piracy? Is it a cult of evil pirates burning satanic dvds?”
“No Cody,” said Dr Strange “Not everything I do is mystically inclined. I have a friend in the FBI, who asked if I could use my powers to help them smash a dvd piracy ring. Since this doesn’t fit into anything I can justify, I have assembled you four, to ask if you will help me do a favour for a friend. He showed me the details on how much it drains the national ecomo…”
“I’ve done some dumb missions for you doc,” said Cory “But this about takes the cake! Hello ladies, my name is Cody Fleisher but most people call me Cadaver”
“Are you a zombie?” asked Cathy as she sipped her drink.
“Every time!” groaned Cody “No, I’m not a zombie!”
The green haired woman stepped up “Lorna Dane formerly of the X-Men”
The trio turned to see the Asian man, dressed in full costume, Sais drawn, standing silently.
“His name is Bengal” said Dr Strange “He prefers actions over words. Please remember our arrangement Duc”
The powerful man in the tiger-styled suit nodded and folded his arms.
“You will be heading to one of the most violent places in the world outside of a declared war zone” said Dr Strange as he waved his hands “Please be careful” An orange shimmering sphere appeared in the bar that seemed to cut a hole in the fabric of reality “The portal of Watoomb will get you to your destination”
Cody headed to the portal “Let’s go ladies, you too tiger pants”
In a flash they all vanished leaving the bartender confused and woozy “Hello?”
The quartet appeared on the roof of a warehouse, each dressed in their usual costume.
“I didn’t have my costume with me?” said Free Spirit “And now I’m in it?”
“Magic” shrugged Cadaver “Any idea where we are? Doc said dangerous, so my guess is Chechnya or Latveria or that place in Africa where those helicopters got shot down”
Bengal tapped Lorna on the shoulder and pointed to a flag flapping in the morning breeze “I believe we’re in Mexico” said Lorna
“MEXICO?!?” yelped Cadaver “Mexico is about as dangerous as Madison County”
Gunfire ripped through the air, followed by screams and the screeching of tyres.
Free Spirit cocked an eyebrow “You were saying?”
More Marvel Mayhem can be found here in our library: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mayhem-library-1457858/#4
Also if you'd like to know about how much dvd piracy actually costs the global economy, then go here: http://austg.com/include/downloads/PirateProfile.pdf