#1 Edited by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

Marvel Mayhem: The 5th Column #1 - From the Ashes

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All Characters are owned by Marvel Comics

"This is Holly Tsuruta reporting for Golden Star Media Incorperated from the Aciete de Serpiente Oil Field where only a few minutes ago oil workers and security staff came under attack by an unknown force." The Asian woman dressed in a grey businesses suit stated as the camera shifted from her face to look down out of the helicopter to the field of derricks and the armoured figures attaching explosive charges to the wells. "Wait we're picking up some audio from the site. Oh my god this appears to be an honest to goodness threat not just to American security but to that of the world. We will broadcast as long as we can but implore SHIELD, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four even the New Warriors to arrive as soon as possible."

"Urm Holly." The cameraman grunted, "You may want to turn around." He added. Turning Holly's eyes went wide as a matte black flying V loaded with five colourfully dressed characters streaked out of the clouds heading for the men on the ground.

"Wait we appear to have Heroes on the ground, ones I don't recognise." Holly gasped. "We will endeavour to keep you informed on every development as it unfolds. For now all we can do is wait and hope these brave individuals can prevent the looming catastrophe."

* *

The troops on the ground clad in red and amber armour opened fire on the incoming aircraft as the occupants leapt clear seconds beore the 'V-Wing' detonated, molten debris showering the desert sand. One of the costumed clad heroes landed on his feet and drew a rapier before straining out his star spangled cape. "Gentlemen I would advise you to stand down. My name is Citizen V and that 'V' stands for victory."

" Ha who do you think your kidding." One of the troopers grunted as he cocked his assault rifle. "Who do you think your kidding. Do you really think you can stop us all with a sword?"

"No but that's why I brought my teammates in the 5th Column to the party." Citizen V announced as his teammates formed up behind him. The red armoured troops surprised by the appearance of more heroes stalled for just a second, but that was all the time their enemies needed as Citizen V lashed out at the first soldier before he could react.

"Get them." The troopers yelled as they charged in.

"Outback deal with the snipers on the derricks." Citizen V yelled as shots rung out from the nearest oil well. The man clad in an armoured jumpsuit emblazoned with a Union Jack nodded before throwing a pair of boomerangs up at the attackers, the projectiles knocking them off their perch.

"This is easy." Outback crowed as he darted out of the path of an incoming RPG. "Hey Telemetry you think you can do something about those rockets?" He called as a woman with rainbow coloured wings flew overhead. With a sigh she created a gleaming rainbow force-field around the soldiers weapons rendering them useless.

" Citizen V, Vantage watch out." She yelled as a man dressed in red and gold leapt off the nearest derrick, his hands clutched round a burning long-sword to land between Citizen V and a woman armed with a staff and dressed in a full black body suit.

"And who do you think you are?" Vantage asked in a German accented voice.

"I am the Phoenix and I plan to build a new world from the ashes of the world." The villain stated. "With the burning of this oil field the American military machine will be crippled allowing others the freedom to do what they please. And as the world spirals into chaos my new order will rise." He yelled as he parried a sword blow from Citizen V before meeting Vantage's blow and ducking under her staff to land a punch to her face.

" You will pay for that." Vantage hissed as she elbowed him away. "Blizzard we need to freeze the bombs."

"I'm busy at the moment." The young woman dressed in a blue leotard spat as she froze a group of troopers weapons solid.

"Just do it." Vantage yelled as she barley parried a blow from Phoenix.

" Whatever." Blizzard moaned as she skidded over to the nearest derrick whilst Outback and Telemetry kept the remaining troopers from surrounding Citizen V and Vantage.

"Citizen V do you need any assistance?" Telemetry called as she fired solid light arrows into the closest soldiers, the luminescent bolts causing them to collapse to the floor.

"Just keep Phoenix's soldiers off our back." Citizen V responded as he ducked under a burning sword sweep before being kicked in the chest by Phoenix, the villain spinning around in a blazing spiral to block a lunge from Vantage, the fire running down his blade increasing in heat. With a roar Phoenix ignited his entire body with a burning aura so hot that it knocked both Citizen V and Vantage away.

"Now is the time for the fires of war to ignite." Phoenix yelled before throwing his sword at the derrick covered with explosives. As the blade flew towards the oil well a glowing orb of energy surrounded it as Telemetry chased after the sword. "Blizzard incoming." She screamed as her teammates closed in on Phoenix. Standing by the iced over derrick Blizzard reached out and focused on the orb of energy, ice flowing from her fingers towards the flying weapon. With a clink the blade hit the derrick and shattered into chunks of rapidly melting ice that swirled around the oil wells base.

"Your bid for world domination is over." Citizen V told Phoenix as the burning aura faded.

"It's just beginning, this world is..Urk." Pheonix screamed before being struck by a boomerang from behind.

"Figured we could end this before we got another big speech." Outback snorted as the news chopper descended.

"It's not over." Citizen V announced as Holly and her cameraman jumped out of the helicopter and sprinted over." Here comes the media."

"This is Holly Tsuruta for Golden Star Media, these heroes have just stopped a madman from kick-starting a new world war. Tell me who are you and how did you feel in the battle?" Holly asked.

"We are the 5th Colmun." Citizen V announced, "We are a team dedicated to the defence of justice and equality. We have nothing to hide, my name is Mike Tanner and I am Citizen V." The man stated before removing his mask to reveal dark skin and calm brown eyes. "We all are former special forces but decided to form a group desperate from the government. 5th Column sound off."

"Lies Sanders AKA Vantage." Vantage yelled pulling off her mask to reveal an angular piercing green eyes and cropped red hair.

"Digger Owens AKA Outback." Outback added as he removed his helmet to show frosted blonde hair and blue eyes set in a boyish face.

"Colette Silvers AKA Blizzard." Blizzard spat as she shook her pure white hair and scowled at the cameraman.

"Marina Zane AKA Telemetry." Telemetry finished before sending rainbow slithers of energy down her arms.

"Let this be known." Citizen V boomed, "We will protect this planet from the war torn streets of Seattle to the crime ridden alleys of New York. From the towers of Taipei to the shanties of Sao Paulo. We will be where men like Phoenix strike to protect this world from the darkest aspects of humanity. Now we must bid you adieu Ms. Tsuruta, we must make sure this man is locked away where he can't harm anyone else." Citizen V announced as Telemetry cuffed Phoenix and dragged him to a second V-Wing descending from the clouds. Mounting the aircraft the heroes sailed away into the clouds heading west into the setting sun.

**

Citizen V sat in a chair nailed to the concrete floor and watched the number of 'hits' related to the 5th Column and smiled before turning to the only other person in the room. "So have you had enough nostalgia for today?" He asked the man in red and gold.

"I have, this mask holds a place in my heart but I prefer to use my true mask." Phoenix stated removing the red ballistic mask he wore to reveal a scarred and burnt face before sliding a purple hood over his head. "Your team has been accepted by the public, now I need you to make sure that you can maintain it."

"Don't worry Baron you'll get what you paid for." Citizen V replied. "Besides now that we're Earth's Newest Heroes this deception will grant us the keys to the kingdom and no one will realise until it's too late."

Next Issue the 5th Column find themselves in the shanty towns of South Africa facing their first real threat, a group of thugs known as the Overvallen. But who is the force behind the Overvallen's attack and why are they abducting the inhabitants of the slum. Find out in Marvel Mayhem: 5th Column #2

#2 Edited by TheManInTheShoe (3878 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: Nice new series, ImpurestCheese. I like how this started.

#3 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@themanintheshoe: Thanks, hopefully this will be amazing despite the OC villains I plan to use

#4 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

Hmmmm I don't know about this, it's very similar in opening to the original Thunderbolts, plus you've got a picture of DC's Ice which threw me also. I shall await part 2 before "judging" but so far I am a little dubious. Your writing though is solid as ever, as is your workload, every day seemingly you post a new story.

#5 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Dubious about what? Also I needed a blonde haired woman with ice powers and unfortunately Marvel has a deficit of those. 5th Column is meant to be one of those titles that makes you wonder who is on the level and who is paying lip service to the idea. Also for added fun each of the characters is actually a villain in disguise save one and even he/she is not totally heroic at this point. Thanks for the read and review. :-)

#6 Edited by RichGenX (196 posts) - - Show Bio

Very interesting. I had a feeling something wasn't entirely clear there.

#7 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@richgenx: Cool thanks for the comment. What do you mean not clear?

#8 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: Maybe dubious is a wrong word. I am unsure whether or not I like this, is all, hence my semi-diplomatic dubious call. I don't hate it, yet (and this is only chapter 1) I am not a jumping-for-joy about it either, very much on the fence.

And yes marvel are bereft of blonde Nordic ice women, thanks for clearing it up

#9 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: No problem. :-) Okay, next issue we get a glimpse at who Citizen V really is. As I mentioned earlier all the characters are established figures in the Marvel Universe even Holly. Hope I can do this title proud and get you hooked.

#10 Posted by RichGenX (196 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: Meaning that as the story starts, a team arrives to stop a villain, and as it played out, I sensed there was something else. Maybe it comes from all my years of writing.

#11 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@richgenx: Ah that. I call it the Thunderbolts Ploy. Guess what inspired me when I was writing this. :-)

#12 Edited by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: "This is Holly Tsuruta reporting for Golden Star Media Incorperated from the Aciete de Serpiente Oil Field where only a few minutes ago oil workers and security staff came under attack by an unknown force." The Asian woman dressed in a grey businesses suit stated as the camera shifted from her face to look down out of the helicopter to the field of derricks and the armoured figures attaching explosive charges to the wells. "Wait we're picking up some audio from the site. Oh my god this appears to be an honest to goodness threat not just to American security but to that of the world. We will broadcast as long as we can but implore SHIELD, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four even the New Warriors to arrive as soon as possible."

Okay you must be allergic to commas and exclamation points! The two underlined and bold are typos

Try this: "This is Holly Tsuruta, reporting for Golden Star Media Incorporated from the Aciete de Serpiente Oil Field, where only a few minutes ago oil workers and security staff came under attack by an unknown force." The Asian woman dressed in a grey business suit stated as the camera shifted from her face to look down out of the helicopter to the field of derricks and the armoured figures attaching explosive charges to the wells. "Wait, we're picking up some audio from the site. Oh my god! This appears to be an honest to goodness threat not just to American security but to that of the world! We will broadcast as long as we can but implore SHIELD, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four even the New Warriors to arrive as soon as possible!"

"We are the 5th Colmun." Citizen V announced

Maybe try the word doc routine before posting, it catches a lot of the easy errors

Overall this is okay, but it seems like Thunderbolts original 6 issues...but arn't you writing Thunderbolts anyway? I am confused.

Also this isn't for you, but for Marvel, why does the token "Australian" Outback have the Union Jack as his uniform? Our flag is this (complete with explanation of stars...first image from google that'd load)

The Union Jack is PART of our flag, without the stars HE'S ENGLISH!

#13 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: He has stars on his helmet. My bad. Thanks for the review and the catching of the mistakes. Thanks :-) And thanks once again. :-)

#14 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: No he doesn't! Bloody Marvel! Anyone not American doesn't matter how we draw them! He could be Union John, Union Jack's brother! :)

#15 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Not in that picture but check out the third image in the gallery, the one where he's talking to reporters and then you can see them. Admittedly it's not much and the Union Jack does hog the spot light in this instance. Now enough with the Outback hate although I agree that non-American characters get skipped over or are used as villainous bit characters.

#16 Edited by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio
#17 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: I know how you feel. What they have done to the Thunderbolts is inexcusable.

#18 Posted by wildvine (10371 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese

I like this. Yes its similar to Thunderbolts, but in a universe were we have two spider-men, and similar characters like Scourge and Punisher in the same city, I think it can be forgiven. I enjoyed this, and want more.

Moderator
#19 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: You should be getting more soon, and may I say the twists and turns are just begining. Also thinking about a Mercy Cameo just to say thanks.

#20 Posted by wildvine (10371 posts) - - Show Bio
Moderator
#21 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Cool, you should be seeing it either today or tomorrow.

#22 Posted by Irishlad (591 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese I eventually got around to this (note to self new year's resolution stop being lazy xD) This is a good ol' fashion kickass setup chapter with a lot of bombastic action that showed off what these characters I've never met before can do. I'd have liked more dialogue and story amidst all the fighting but again it's a setup chapter so that doesn't really matter.

Next up chapter 2 :D

#23 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@irishlad: Glad you enjoyed. Any guesses on who's behind the masks?

#24 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#25 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped