Marvel Mayhem: Season 2 - New Thunderbolts #1

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#1  Edited By ImpurestCheese
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For More Marvel Mayhem check out the Library

Missed the Last Issue of Season 1? Check it out here

Market Mile, Living Fortress, Seattle

Fruit scattered everywhere as the young man, not much older then 15 or 16, went crashing into the cart filled with fresh produce, his bag skidding away under a concealed tree root. Getting to his feet he froze as a red dot danced around on his forehead, as the blue skinned woman with flaming locks of hair aimed her pistol at him.

“Surrender thief and face the justice of the Kree Empire!” She ordered as he looked over to where the bag was resting. “A word of advice you will never make it to the items you stole before I get a shot off.”

“You don’t understand,” The man panted as he kept his eyes on the pistol, “I need those…”

“You’re right,” The Kree woman hissed, “I don’t understand a lot of things that you humans do, but I do understand the nature of a thief when I come across one.”

“Enough Kona!” A voice from the shadows ordered. “This is not how we do things on Earth.” It added as a man shaped blot of darkness emerged to stand between the Kree shooter and her hostage.

No Caption Provided

“Out of my way Shroud!” Kona snarled, “You are undermining my authority infront of the populus by interfering with my duties.”

“Did you ever ask this boy what he stole?” Shroud asked as a tendril of darkness wrapped around the bag and brought it level with his hand, “What was so important that he risked coming here to steal it?” Shroud continued as he opened the bag and inspected the contents. “Hmm what do you think?” He stated as he looked over to the wall and the wooden face sticking out of the palisade.

“Willow Bark, Yarrow, Marigold blossoms and Periwinkle,” Blackheath mused, “all plants that have medicinal value. This thief was stealing supplies to heal people suffering from battlefield injuries, the presence of which is quite troubling.” He added as Kona lowered her pistol and glared at the thief. “Tell me, what is your name?” Blackheath asked as he emerged from the wall and crossed the market corridor to stand next to the young man.

“Ian, Ian Sidolis. Please I didn't want to cause trouble” The thief gasped as he looked at the group of assembled Thunderbolts nervously. "Please don't send me to the place under the fortress." He added as the thought of running crossed his mind.

"I would forget about escaping." Blackheath stated calmly. "Your pheromones and adrenaline are spiking, keep calm or I will be force to restrain you. Now tell me why did you feel the need to steal supplies from others who may have needed them?"

"My father was a botanist, told me that if we were going to hold up, that we needed more medical supplies.” Ian gulped as he rubbed his arm and lowered his head to avoid the stares of his questioners.

“Where are you from?” Shroud asked as he handed the bag back to Ian.

“The Green Lake camp.” Ian started, looking up for the first time only for Kona's glare to send his gaze earthwards, “We were doing okay with the supplies given to us by Seattle Internal Security and the crops you grew for us until the hole opened. After that the monster started coming at night, and the Marauders during the day, both of them taking people and resources. We tried to leave but the Thralls then moved into the area, we had to fight.”

“This hole.” Blackheath stated in a low voice. “Show me it.”

**

Green Lake Refugee Camp, Seattle

The seven figures sprouted from the ground on the edge of the refugee camp on the southern shore of a gleaming sea of toxic sludge left over from Biohazard’s attack on the city. The camp was in a bad state, with ad-hoc shutters on the buildings and a broken chain link fence surrounding the perimeter. Leading the way Ian took the Thunderbolts to the check point, the usual guards found at this place made conspicuous by their absence.

“How many people were staying in this camp?” Gypsy Moth asked as they past a derelict shelter, its walls singed black by an explosion.

“When it was set up, about three hundred.” Radioactive Man announced as he bent down and picked up a handful of soil. “Curious, this radiation signal is alien to me; it contains traces of an element I have never seen before.” He added as Kona bent down next to him and removed a scanner from her belt.

“It isn’t any substance known to the Kree Empire either.” She added as Unicorn stopped and shook his head, his battle ram glowing a dark green before flashing on and off.

No Caption Provided

“Spot knows what it is, but Spot won’t tell me where he’s seen it before.” Unicorn gasped. “Spot is afraid of what the dirt means.”

“If you think that’s weird, check out the hole.” Ian stated as the others ignored Unicorn's babbling, and climbed over a wall of sandbags that led the team past two abandoned machine guns to a crack in the ground, the interior growing a hellish red, despite no heat rising from the fissure.

“More radiation.” Radioactive Man stated as Shroud walked over and sent a few probing dark-force tentacles down the hole only for them to disintegrate on contact with the wound in the soil. “This appears to be the source of the energy influx in the area; it’s so strong that it’s even overriding the increased radioactivity of the lake.”

“That crack emerged two weeks ago, since then the number of people here has dropped from around three hundred to twenty five.” Ian told them. “I should really find my father and give him these herbs.” He added as he turned away and headed for the largest building, leaving the Thunderbolts alone clustered around the hole.

“So what is it?” Gypsy Moth asked.

“A wound in the world, I have encountered similar ‘flesh wounds’ that only penetrated the Green.” Blackheath told the others, “But this one goes straight through the entire planet.”

“What about the monster?” Shroud asked, “Could it have come up out of the hole, or is it something drawn here by the radioactive signal?”

“Impossible!” Kona snorted, “The Energy Discharge would kill anything that crept out of the ‘wound’. No this is not the origin point of the creature that’s been plaguing this place.” She added as a shout from the middle of the town came up and the doors to the big building were thrown open, as a man and a woman dressed in SIS uniforms came running up to the Thunderbolts.

”What is it officers?” Radioactive Man asked.

“The Marauders are back; this will be their second attack today.” The male officer announced. “Their attack killed three and injured five in their attack this morning. We won’t be able to hold them off without you.”

”Then our assistance you will have.” Blackheath stated as he looked over to the horizon. “The Green tells me that these Marauders have some kind of connection with this ‘wound in the Earth’ not to mention the monster that is terrorising these people at night.” He added as the Thunderbolts took up position in the village as the sound of an armoured car pulling up sounded, and at least five loud voices could be heard laughing and joking. Reaching the main building the Thunderbolts stopped as one of the figures dragged a screaming woman out of the shelter.

“Well if it isn’t our old acquaintance Whiplash!” Radioactive Man stated as the woman doing the dragging turned to glare at the Thunderbolts. “What happened wasn’t being part of the Masters of Evil enough for you?”

“You!” Whiplash hissed, her voice dripping with venom. “Riders get ready!” She yelled at her comrades.

No Caption Provided

“The Thunderbolts?!” One exclaimed. “No, no what are we going to do? We’re not…”

“Stow it Foxbat.” A reptilian skinned man hissed. “Remember the Ideology of the Master and prepare yourself for battle.” He added as a massively rotund man and a woman clutching a shotgun and a long chain formed up behind him. “Remember that we act in his name!!”

“Whose name?” Radioactive Man asked as the Thunderbolts spread out ready to counter their opponents. “Who do you…” Before he could finish he was interrupted by a scream as Unicorn fell to his knees, his third eye mounted in his battle ram flashing green.

“Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey,” Unicorn yelled. “His Storm Riders are formed, his horses are waiting to be unleashed. Spot saw it all before, and will see it again. This is the End of Days!!!”

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#3  Edited By Straight-Fire

@impurestcheese: Ooh. I loved it. I'll be looking forward to the next issue. :-)

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#4  Edited By ImpurestCheese

@dboyrules2011: Next issue is the Zemo teams adventures (probably) although I might go for alternating arcs instead. Glad you enjoyed it, always a pleasure to get comments

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YoungJustice

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@impurestcheese: This is really nice! A pleasant start to a new season. This is looking really awesome!

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Delphic

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@impurestcheese: Okay, I really liked this one. I don't know any of these characters, but all the while, I have found them interesting just from what you've written here. Also I don't have anything to say in the way of correction. I guess if I could be really nitpicky then I would say that right there at the very end I felt it got a little campy when that one guy was like "Oh no! The Thunderbolts!" It's a small nit-pick though, and I don't much care about it. Overall fantastic story, and I'll be looking forward to the next installment.

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@impurestcheese: Toxic sludge: check! Lots of characters: check! Slight mystery: check!

“Willow Bark, Yarrow, Marigold blossoms and Periwinkle,” Blackheath mused, “allplants that have medicinal value." All needs a capital

So a whole buncha loser working for Apocalypse huh? Let's see how that goes :)

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ImpurestCheese

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@batkevin74: Thanks for the grammar spot. And yes that character may be appearing very soon...

Also expect your buddy Critical Mass to make an apperance next part of the arc

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#11  Edited By batkevin74
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@batkevin74: Yep him and his buddy Whiplash not to mention that Savage Dragon wannabe they hung around with are back

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Irishlad

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@impurestcheese I wish I had more constructive criticism for you but I honestly do not see much wrong with this.

You continue to make B-Z List characters almost as or more interesting than the A-List ones :P

I'll have to wait and see for a few chapters to fully judge the story but I like where it's going so far.

Also the addition of the character's images and names at the beginning are a big help for those of us (i.e me) who are too lazy to google a character if we don't know them.

Give me a shoutout when the next one is up, thanks!

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ImpurestCheese

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@irishlad: Thanks have been toying with creating a splash page for this title. Hopefully I can keep up the level of quality in the next few issues.

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@impurestcheese: be It was a little confusing (with me not being a marvel fan) but well written as always. I noticed your writing gradually improved with each paragraph, which is ironic, considering my writing tends to do the opposite. :) It starts off shaky with a few missing commas but tunes up nicely. I would suggest editing the first scene when you have the time.

My only real criticism is with regards to the interrogation with the thief. Being that he is an unimportant character to the plot arc it is easy for readers to dismiss him altogether, but his dialogue still felt forced. I understand that a frightened thief might not put up much of a struggle with Krona's questions but he should just blurt out everything he knows like a plot parrot. Delve more into his fear or unease with your description of his body language while he chats with the bolts to make the dialogue feel more meaningful and this chapter would improved tenfold. Again this is not a big deal since interrogations are probably the hardest dialogues not to breeze through, just thought I'd give you my two cents.

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#16  Edited By ImpurestCheese

@dngn4774: Thanks for the comment. Will attempt some body language when I get round to the re-edit sometime tomorrow

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@dngn4774: Re-edited because I have the time. For your help have a Hopparen

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#18  Edited By dngn4774

@impurestcheese: Much better! Can't play the song on campus since I left my headphones at home, but I look forward to hearing it when I come home. In the meantime I'm gonna see if I can start drafting up my Dr Who fic between classes. Ciao!

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#19  Edited By ImpurestCheese

@dngn4774: Cool, best wishes for Doctor Who. Can't wait to see it (voted yes I think)

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ImpurestCheese

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@batkevin74: Not this one, #3 the one I released on Monday. Thanks for reading though