#1 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Rated MA, all owned by Marvel and continued from:

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mayhem-scourge-1-1457763/#8

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mayhem-scourge-2-1458625/#3

“You have got to be effing kidding me!?!” Detective Riordan looked at crime scene in the heart of the Meatpacking District of New York. A body, well pieces of, had been hung on several meat hooks amongst the carcasses.

“What are you complaining about?” said Crime Scene Technician Ryan Tucker as he dumped his kit onto the ground “I’ve got to process this whole thing, work out what’s human and what’s animal, this is a nightmare!”

“Hey!” Dallas yelled at a fat burly man smoking a cigarette “Where’s that truck going?”

“Queens!”

“Like hell it is!” Dallas unclipped her walkie-talkie “Dyson! No trucks in or out!”

“You’re killin me lady!”

“If you’re unhappy, write to your congressman” replied Dallas as she turned back to Ryan “It’s my guy, isn’t it?”

Ryan snapped on some gloves and protective coverings for his feet “Probably, but I did only just get here”

“What is this guy’s deal?” commented Dallas aloud as she looked around and spotted something in the rafters “Hey fat guy!”

“I gots a name”

“That’s great, those cameras work” she pointed up to the surveillance cameras.

He looked at her like she was stupid “Yeah”

Dallas huffed as she walked over to him “Well best you show me the tapes so I can catch the guy who has shut down your business for the day.”

“I’m on my break” he snarled as he took a long deliberate drag and blew smoke through his nose like a fat Italian-American dragon.

“Take your time” said Dallas as she grabbed her phone from her pocket “I’m just calling the health inspectors, then the department of immigration, possibly even S.H.I.E.L.D to come on down and go over this with a fine tooth comb!”

“Jezz Louise!” sighed the fat guy dumping his smoke “Any one ever tells you, you’re a bitch?”

“All the time fat guy” smiled Dallas as she walked with him to the site office.

**

I am unafraid of being caught, I am afraid of not completing my mission.

The police should leave this to me and go issue parking tickets. Do not get in my way

Scourge of the Underworld

**

“He’s clearly neurotic and probably suffering from paranoid schizophrenia” stated Dr Mark Byrne as he handed his profile over to Detective Riordan “Male, late thirties, Caucasian, probably ambidextrous, definite military training”

“And where do I find him?” asked Riordan.

Dr Byrne simply shrugged “I just do the profiles. In my professional opinion he’s made the island of New York his own personal kill zone, so he lives in Brooklyn or Jersey”

“Well that narrows it down” said Dallas sarcastically.

“You asked me to help Dallas, so I’m helping” replied Dr Byrne “If you want actual magic, go visit that Strange guy”

“Sorry Mark, I’m just frustrated” said Dallas “This maniac has killed four people in gruesome fashion”

“They may be the clues to cracking this. Acts of extreme violence indicate the killer knows the victims” Dr Byrne rose from his chair and went to the evidence board “See your first victim Richard Deacon. He was shot at close range by a fifty calibre exploding cartridge, not once but five times at close range. Then he was thrown down the elevator shaft of his apartment block. Donald Thomas had his hands cut off; eyes removed and was put through a wood chipper, the remains delivered to the Daily Globe. This type of rage indicates it’s personal again, or possibly Mafia”

“None of them have any known organised crime links asides from them being crap super villains” stated Dallas as she sipped her coffee, watching Dr Byrne and the board.

“Victim three Maxwell Plumm, head caved in with a crowbar. Did you locate the Wrecker?” Dallas shook her head “Well don’t bother, because there would be no head left if Dirk did this, besides this is calculated and he’s nothing more than a caveman. It’s the post mortem burning; fire cleanses, and also destroys evidence. And now, Charles L. Delazny, Jr aka The Enforcer. Taken to an abattoir and butchered like an animal.”

“There’s going to be more isn’t there?” said Dallas ominously.

“Probably” replied Dr Byrne “Calling one’s self the Scourge of The Underworld was the giveaway”

“He knows what he’s doing” added Dallas “The security tapes were all static”

“This could be Frank Castle or Venom” suggested Dr Byrne.

“The Punisher is a crazy goombah killing machine who shoots people in the face, he doesn’t dismember them!” shouted Dallas “As for that thing Venom, thankfully that freak is in San Francisco! He, I could see doing this, but there’s no Spider-Man angle and usually he just floods people’s faces with that goop!”

Dr Byrne looked at how riled up she’d gotten “You need to calm down Dallas. I think you need to talk to someone, because this case is getting to you”

“I’m fine!” said Dallas “I just want this guy!”

**

I must hide in plain sight again. Acquiring targets and address whilst smiling politely like a trained chimp. I need to be out there, cleaning up the filth but if I don’t know where the filth is…I sit and listen and watch. It will be a long week.

**

@irishlad @joygirl @pyrogram @impurestcheese

#2 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped as part 4 is going up

#3 Edited by Irishlad (591 posts) - - Show Bio

Surprised there's no comments here yet I think the callout system is broken I never seem to be notified. As for the story I can't help but read on. I'm very tempted to search scourge so I can find out his identity but that would take away from the fun.

#4 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

@irishlad: You'll find the real Scourge underwhelming :)

#5 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#6 Edited by wildvine (10374 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74

Little heavy on reference I think. Too many names dropped. Otherwise I like it. Really getting into this character. And have to like his style. I'm guessing he works for the police department. Anyway,Tag

Moderator
#7 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

@batkevin74

Little heavy on reference I think. Too many names dropped. Otherwise I like it. Really getting into this character. And have to like his style. I'm guessing he works for the police department. Anyway,Tag

Reference heavy? You mean the explanation of their deaths or the Punisher/Venom bit?

#8 Edited by Rabbitearsblog (6028 posts) - - Show Bio

Awesome! I love the way you referred to various Marvel characters in this story! It really connected this character to the Marvel Universe!

#9 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio
#10 Posted by lykopis (10746 posts) - - Show Bio

Damnit -- little lines get to me but this one almost made me choke on my tea:

"...like a fat Italian-American dragon."

Pretty much had the whole scene illustrated in my mind with that tidbit, lol.

Really ramping up the suspense and I have to say, I was wondering if it was Frank Castle although he would do nothing to hide his handiwork. Venom too -- Could be because I am familiar with both characters and their recent team-up in Thunderbolts that I particularly enjoyed your mentioning of them. The only reason Elektra didn't come to mind is because there's no money to be made (I love her so be nice if you do ever use her in your stories.)

Off to number four.

#11 Posted by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (6358 posts) - - Show Bio
Donald Thomas had his hands cut off; eyes removed and was put through a wood chipper, the remains delivered to the Daily Globe.
Jesus...That's one of the most violent things I've ever heard...But DAMN is this a great story! :)

#12 Posted by TommytheHitman (3487 posts) - - Show Bio

Continuously awesome! I like how you're using the detectives as the main characters instead of the Scourge. Makes it more interesting.

#13 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio
#14 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: Not the real Thunderbolts you mean the money grabbing 'murder bolts'

#15 Posted by lykopis (10746 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: Not the real Thunderbolts you mean the money grabbing 'murder bolts'

Someone who understands! EXACTLY. The good news is that Elektra and Frank's "relationship" looks to be over. Not that it saves the book -- just the tenuous hold I have of my sanity.

#16 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: Electra Vs Dallas...Ms Natchios doesn't stand a chance :)

#17 Edited by ImpurestCheese (6074 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: I think a lot of people are thinking the same thing. :-)

#18 Posted by lykopis (10746 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis: Electra Vs Dallas...Ms Natchios doesn't stand a chance :)

That...is not...fair! **splodes**

#19 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#20 Posted by batkevin74 (11215 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped :)

#21 Edited by cbishop (7478 posts) - - Show Bio