Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

Marvel Mayhem: Doubt #1

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Valkyries are often seen as battlefield guardians that take the souls of noble warriors to Valhalla and while that's true their story has been romanticised a lot over the last millennium. In addition to being soul chooser, cup bearer and vanguard of Odin some of the Valkyries were able to spread doubt across the battlefield and could vastly effect the outcome of fates. Marvel touched on this briefly with the Evil Valkyrie character but after being defeated by Thor she was assumed dead but being a manifestation of madness and doubt such a thing can't be destroyed. Odin wisely knew this and bound her in an uninhabitable corner of Midgard, chaining her until Ragnarok and the fall of Asgard

Alaskan Wilds, Two Days Prior to Vili’s Taking of Asgard

The four men were dressed in hunting jackets, thermal trousers and hooded parkas and carried bolt-action rifles. For all appearances they were just four city boys out in the cold March snowstorms looking to shoot some game. It was only that they all carried long-swords that made them stand out, that told another story. Undeterred by the blizzard the men had walked from the nearest town, a solid twenty miles away just to come to the snow-less hill side.

“By Odin that’s the grave of the nameless horror.” The first asked as they walked up the rough cut steps and stood next to a vertical rock embedded in the hill.

“There is a chill in the air.” A second stated, “Nothing grows on this hill, even the snow won’t touch it. This is a place of dread and loathing.”

“Caused by the shamed buried in here no doubt.” The third told the others as he stripped off his jacket to reveal a set of antique war armour underneath. “Still Lord Tyr sent us here to make sure Asgard’s enemies are kept bound.”

“And this is one of the worst.” The fourth answered as he threw his rifle down onto the floor. “It is a terrible thing for a Valkyrie to forget her calling and turn against the Aesir. She was stripped of name and locked away in this hillside after she tried to corrupt the Odinson.”

“So do we remove the slab?” The second asked as he ran his hand across the rock face. “Would there be signs if she had broken free?”

“Aye we need to see her with our own eyes.” The forth and most senior warrior told the others. “Just remember what happened to the Einherjar she brought to Valhalla, Odin slue all of those connected to her, you must not touch the carrion bird lest she infects your heart with dark feelings of doubt.” He added as two of the warriors put their hands onto the rock face and pulled the cover off of the tomb to reveal an emaciated woman dressed in a black breastplate, boots and winged helmet her body bound in chains to the stone, a bracelet of ebony hair wrapped around her wrist.

“So this is Doubt?” One of the soldiers whispered, his voice causing the woman to open her eyes, dark pools of night staring at the Asgardians before closing as she went back to sleep.

“Do not say her name.” The leader stated as he and his comrades drew their swords and held the blades over the woman. “By Bor she was born, by Odin she was imprisoned and by the name of the All Father she will be destroyed!” He yelled slamming his blade into the Valkyrie’s chest, his warriors following suit. Turning away from the dead body he descended the hill as his men recovered the body and once done all four walked off into the blizzard. As they did they failed to notice the camera trap at the base of the hill go off, the images relaying back to the ‘ecologist camp’ only five minutes away from ‘the dead hill’. In mere minutes another group, a man dressed in a ski jacket and waterproof trousers and a woman dressed in similar attire reached the base of the hill and looked up at the barren rock face.

“Who were they Rick?” The woman asked as she looked back at the ground, the snow covering the warrior’s tracks. “They didn't strike me as local hunters.”

“Who cares Karen?” Rick stated. “They came with swords and left without them. We need extra funding if we’re going to fully document the fauna and flora of the area and those blades are probably valuable.” Karren blew a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes before a tiny voice seemed to flow over the wind.

“Did you hear that?” She asked Rick as she lowered her hood.

“No.” Rick answered before cocking his head, “Wait yes, it sounds like a child calling for help.” He said before the pair of them barrelled through the snow and started climbing the hillside, the weak cries for help growing louder as they reached the vertical slab. With a heave Rick ripped the stone out and threw it away to reveal a dark haired ten year old girl sitting in the chamber completely naked.

“It’s okay.” Karen cried as she reached out and pulled the child close to her. “It’s okay baby your safe.” She cooed as Rick pulled off his jacket and wrapped it round the child, his fingers momentarily feeling the girl’s cold skin and the rune carved into her skin.

Doubt is Back in Black

“They locked a child in here.” Rick snarled. “If I find those jerks…well I’d give them a piece of my mind.”

“Please just take me away from the bad place” The little girl cried as Karen picked her up and held her close.

“How long have you been in here?” Karen asked as she and Rick climbed down the hill side.

“As long as I have been alive.” The little girl answered as she stroked the bracelet wrapped around her arm and looked back at the hill with dark eyes. “Please don’t lock me away again.”

“Don’t worry.” Rick said with a smile on his face. “We've always wanted a daughter but…we could never conceive one. You can stay with us until we find your real mum and dad.” He added as the pair headed back to camp. “It’s almost as if she was a gift from God.”

“Maybe.” Karen said, “Whatever she is she’s ours. Don’t worry my sweet girl, I won’t let anybody hurt you ever again.”

#1 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio
#2 Edited by cbishop (7561 posts) - - Show Bio

“Nothing grows on this hill, even the snow won’t touch it..."

Liked that line. Also...

He yelled slamming his blade into the Valkyrie’s chest, his warriors following suite.

They would follow "suit," not "suite." ;)

Added to my FF Long Box. :)

#3 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Oh god I forgot you in the callout. Will edit that line. Thanks for the comment.

#4 Posted by Irishlad (572 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese Amazing start to a potentially amazing series with a nice sprinkle of a reference here and there, I can't wait to read more and if I happen to miss it somehow feel free to call me out until I do :P.

Only complaint I could make for you is I would've left out that Valkrie pic, reason being is while it's clear some what from the text alone what happened it is possible to read the text one way or the other but the image clearly tells you that is what happened if that makes sense.

Then again I'm just a nut for mystery so take it or leave it I guess xD.

#5 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@irishlad: Thanks for the review. Trust me Doubt is going to get everywhere.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (10604 posts) - - Show Bio
#7 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Busted. Wondered who (if anyone) would notice that. :-)

#8 Posted by CatalinaIC (82 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: Man are those people going to be suprised when their baby turns out to be an evil monstrosity. Question: Why do you like unleashing unspeakable evil onto Marvel Mayhem?

#9 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@catalinaic: Thanks. And the reason is...because great heroes need great villains. One can't exist without the other.

#10 Edited by wildvine (9099 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese:

Speaking of unspeakable evil, you should do a story one day where one powerful evil comes up against another. Also, very nice start

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#11 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Why thank you. Doubt is going to be my Howard/Dallas. She gets everywhere. Also the evil vs evil...will be seen in Thunderbolts when Zemo clashes with Ronan

#12 Posted by TheManInTheShoe (3878 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: Wow, this seems to become a very interesting and different series. I really like it.

#13 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@themanintheshoe: Cool thanks. Trying something different from the team thing I usually do.

#14 Posted by TheSpiritStalker (2055 posts) - - Show Bio

Hm, this is very interesting, like the set-up to a movie. I didn't even know this character existed until now so I'm assuming her background is straight from Marvel continuity. Anyway I think the idea of evil lady able to induce doubt or madness gives you the potential to create psychological scenes to the benefit of character development (the movie Orphan comes to mind but that's probably just brain vomit). I would like to see more of Karen and Rick and their relationship/inability to conceive. I don't think you needed to address the issue immediately but maybe hint at it or something to create tension (and drama). I can imagine them arguing over keeping the child despite the mysterious atmosphere that surrounds her. If, by chance, the couple is introduced to the supernatural/mythological realm through some revelation then you can easily build on it. 'Would love to see their reaction/action towards it all.

P.S. You should keep the idea for later, maybe turn it into a novel or short story.

#15 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio

@thespiritstalker: Doubt will be out and about soon relearning who she is. And wait till you see what she gets up to.

#16 Posted by dngn4774 (3020 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: It's an interesting premise. Really not into Marvel (Thor and Captain America especially) but this sort of reminds me of a good Wonder Woman villain.

#17 Posted by ImpurestCheese (4899 posts) - - Show Bio