Chapter 6.5: The List
The pier, that's where he held Katie.
The crashing waves and howling winds made for a nice setting as well as a helpful muting of screams and gunfire.
Wade approached his only entry point into the shack at the end of the long stretching bridge and pushed open the heavy rusted door.
Katie sat on the man's lap as precisely unfixed as she possibly could as her wavering eyes expressed her paralysing fear to Wade who didn't feel like saying much to the man.
"I see you've been busy" Bullseye snarled.
Wade unsheathed his blade slowly "I see you attempted to blow up a city while beating up a God and dressing up snakes in little girls costumes."
Bullseye placed his knife across Katie's throat as a cold smile inclimented across Lester's face "We've both been busy then."
Wade routinely maneuvered his katana around the room as his actions reflected his words "What do you want?"
Bullseye gripped the girl closer "You know what I want."
A tear rolled down Katie's cheeks as she arced her eyes up towards Bullseye's mischievous grin who watched as Wade paused to hear the girl's words "Please....don't kill me."
Bullseye hushed Katie while refusing to move his sight from Wade's emotionless expression "Shhh...I'm not going to kill you...put the sword down Wade."
Katie turned towards Wade's tensed hands, he wanted to shove the katana through the target that decorated Lester's skull more than anything in the world but Bullseye could kill the girl easily from where he sat with a swipe across her jugular. From that position Lester definitely didn't miss.
The katana fell to the ground as Bullseye half expected.
Bullseye reached into his pocket "This is why you don't get attached to things, all of a sudden you start dropping your weapon for a delusional fantasy written by some idiot who's never killed anyone."
The girl screamed profusely with fear of the mysterious object before opening her eyes to the dead silence "W...what is it?"
"A ticket" Bullseye stated.
"Go" Bullseye commanded with a shifting of his head as he removed the knife from her throat and placed it on the ground.
The girl wandered aimlessly towards the door, she wanted to hug Wade but she knew that he had to take the bad man away first and she didn't want to look at the bad man because he was not very huggable, so she simply left.
"Have a seat" Bullseye offered.
Wade reluctantly sat.
"How many people have you killed?" Bullseye bluntly asked.
There was no response.
Bullseye's finger shoved against Wade's chest "fifty? one hundred?"
Bullseye shrugged "Five hundred maybe?"
"Oh" Bullseye realised "I know, I know we'll check the list!"
Bullseye switched on his phone and scrolled through the list of names as Wade remained still "Let's see, no not the monkey, no not the skull guy OH HERE WE GO."
Bullseye read "It says here you've killed one thousand seven hundred and sixty two people and fun fact, only two of them were explosions...gotta say I'm impressed."
Wade refused to acknowledge Bullseye's taunts " There's no need to be emabarassed, it's a difficult question, it would take a mad man to count all the men and...little boys he's killed."
Wade stepped up from his chair and made his way towards the door.
Bullseye shouted after Wade "Here's an easier question, how many people want you dead?"
Deadpool's first voice accepted Lester's challenge as it counted up Wade's past kills "Let's see there was random civilian one, two, four, five..."
"Don't forget random civilian number three" voice number two added.
Bullseye waved his hand in encouragement "No idea either?"
Deadpool turned and his arms folded as he awaited Bullseye's answer of "Everyone...six in particular."
Deadpool walked closer as Bullseye explained "I take it you have heard about the list?"
Deadpool nodded as Bullseye continued "Turns out you've got the high score of kills, which not only entitles you to higher rates of income but also a whole bunch of angry assassins who want your number one spot. I'm number four. But I'd like to help. For a favour of course. Do we have a deal or should I drowned you in the sea outside?"
"What's your favourite food?" Deadpool replied.
"What?" Bullseye asked dumbfounded.
"What's your favourite food?" Deadpool repeated.
Bullseye's calm demeanour slowly started to crack "What the f*#@ are you talkin' about?"
Deadpool remained silent as he awaited his answer eagerly.
Bullseye's eyes rolled in disgust as he answered "Chicken chow mein."
Deadpool gasped "Really? no wonder Mordo tortured you and made you have a fetish for snakes in dresses."
"He didn'...will you please just answer the damn question?" Bullseye begged.
Deadpool nodded "Okay but first it's time for an anecdote."
"Oh for the love of..." Bullseye groaned.
Deadpool picked up his sword and sheathed it into the holster "A mama hoopsnake and a daddy hoopsnake walk into a bar. Daddy hoopsnake, being the gentlemen that he is of course offers to pour mama hoopsnake a drink. Suddenly Daddy hoopsnake realises the bartender isn't moving, he's dead. Then he looks around and he sees everyone in the bar is dead except for one person. So daddy hoopsnake asks that one person what happened to everyone. Mama hoopsnake turns and she says why I killed them all of course. Now the ending is the tricky part y'see daddy hoopsnake says, well I guess I better get that drink then."
Deadpool turned his attention to Bullseye "To which mama hoopsnake replies."
Bullseye's eyes bulged at the answer as he picked up his knife "It's better to know the one with the knife aimed at your chest than to not know the hundreds aimed at your back."
SEE DEADPOOL AND BULLSEYE IN THE UPCOMING NEW MINISERIES...THE LIST.